Chapter 9
Poo-Poo Is in the Dictionary
“Hey, Stick Dog!” Karen called as she swung on her swing with her eyes still closed.
“Yes?” he answered as he pushed Poo-Poo.
“You know what I was thinking about?”
“What’s that?” Stick Dog asked, pushing Karen.
“You know how swinging makes our stomachs feel funny and all that?” Karen asked.
“I’ve heard you describe it, yes,” Stick Dog replied, and pushed Stripes.
“So, I was just thinking about my belly and the funny way it feels,” Karen continued to explain. “Then I thought about my belly and how nice it feels when it’s full. And then I asked myself, What would I like to fill my belly with? And I, of course, thought of barbecue potato chips!”
“I’m sure you did,” said Stick Dog, taking a brief break after pushing Mutt.
“And when I thought of barbecue potato chips,” Karen continued, “I thought of that squirrel and I—”
She didn’t finish her thought.
She was interrupted by Poo-Poo.
“Squirrel!” he screamed. His eyes flashed open with anger. His head jerked up and around, searching for his evil archenemy. He began to wriggle out of the swing to get off. “I forgot all about that twisted, rotten, puffy-tailed monster! Erggh! I can’t stand those puffy tails!”
Stripes and Mutt opened their eyes too, alarmed by Poo-Poo’s rage—and volume.
While all this occurred, Stick Dog steadied each swing. His friends pushed themselves off and gathered beneath the swing set. They stared up at the horizontal bar above them.
“We all had our eyes closed, Stick Dog,” Poo-Poo said, and snarled. “Did you see where that nasty, puffy-tailed devil went?”
“Hmm,” he responded. Obviously, Stick Dog did know where that squirrel went, but he didn’t want to lie to his friends. “It’s definitely not up there anymore, that’s for sure.”
“I know exactly what happened,” Poo-Poo whispered.
“What happened?” Mutt asked. “Where did it go?”
“Squirrels are evil in so many ways,” Poo-Poo began to explain. “But they’re also tricky, conniving, devious sneaks. They can hide better than any animal in the world.”
“For real?” Karen asked.
“For real,” confirmed Poo-Poo. “I mean, think about it. I’m probably the best squirrel hunter on the entire planet. My squirrel-hunting skills are unmatched, I tell you. If you looked up ‘squirrel-hunting expert’ in the dictionary, there would be a picture of me!”
Mutt asked, “There would?”
“I’m pretty sure, yes,” Poo-Poo replied, and went on. “So, if you consider how awesome I am at squirrel hunting, then squirrels must be the best hiders in the whole world.”
“Why’s that, Poo-Poo?” asked Stripes.
“Because I’ve never actually, you know, caught a squirrel,” Poo-Poo answered. “That totally proves it. I mean, if I can’t catch a squirrel, they must be really, really, really excellent hiders.”
This made perfectly good sense to Stripes, Mutt, and Karen.
Stick Dog didn’t quite agree with Poo-Poo’s logic, but he didn’t mention that. He was ready to move on.
“I think you’re right, Poo-Poo,” he said. “That sneaky devil is out of sight. It could be anywhere. Heck, it might’ve run off to Lake Washituba.”
Poo-Poo squinted one eye and sneered. He turned in the direction of the lake and whispered, “Let’s go look for it there.”
“Hey, Stick Dog,” Mutt said. “While Poo-Poo is looking for that squirrel, we could continue to investigate those tasty sticks.”
“That’s a great idea,” Stick Dog said, resisting the urge to slap a paw to his forehead. “I wish I would have thought of that. Let’s go!”
And they went.