Chapter 18

As I mentioned earlier, I don’t call them the Terrible Threesome anymore. (If you want to know why I used to call them that, you’ll need to read my previous book about my above-average year. Not that I’m trying to promote my other books or anything.) Basically, Mark, Luke, and Jordan have been big trouble in the past, but Mark is a little better so now they’re more like the Terrible Two-and-a-Halfsome.

Actually, do you want to know how bad they still are? They wore their shoes inside Jackson’s house! How dare they break the most important rule that they didn’t know about?

“What’s up, losers?” Jordan says. “Let’s eat some cake!”

There’s another example. Who just comes out and asks for cake?!

Jackson’s mom tells us we’ll all have cake when everyone’s shoes are off.

Once the room starts smelling way worse, Jackson’s mom finally brings in the cake! We all sing “Happy Birthday.” The song goes okay, but it would’ve been way better if I’d brought my triangle.

Next, Jackson opens his gifts. I guess we should’ve checked with each other before choosing his presents. Three of us get him chessboards. Trent gets him a book full of sentences.

“You have to read each one and mark what’s wrong with it,” Trent explains.

“You got him homework?” Jordan snickers.

“This book is awesome!” Jackson says. “Thanks, Trent.”

“What did you get him, Jordan?” I ask.

I suspect that Jordan’s just here for the cake. Surprisingly, he reaches in his pocket and hands Jackson a bike lock.

“I got you this bike lock,” Jordan says. “There’s some sketchy kids in town. You can never be too careful.”

Jackson smiles. “Wow, thanks!”

I can tell that Jackson wasn’t expecting Jordan to bring a gift. The lock looks a bit used, but I have to say that I’m impressed. Maybe I should rename the Terrible Two-and-a-Halfsome again. They keep getting less terrible.

After the presents, I go back for more cake. When I come back, everyone’s watching a documentary about Bobby Fischer. He was a champion chess player who lived a life that, when turned into a film, makes kids very sleepy. But it’s Jackson’s favorite, so we all pretend to like it. Well, everyone except Mark, Luke, and Jordan.

They’re busy playing loud videos on their phones. They’re so distracting that I lose three straight games of River Shiver on my own phone. Rude!

It’s getting late when the movie ends, so we all get in our sleeping bags and scatter across Jackson’s game room floor. All of a sudden, I think of a great joke. I pull my sleeping bag completely over my head and start slithering around the room.

“Look out for the giant snake!” I yell.

Most of the boys laugh. Jackson quickly informs us a snake that big would be a python and they are not indigenous to Texas. Therefore it’s impossible that I could be a real snake. He’s obviously loosening up a little because he doesn’t mention that a snake couldn’t talk or give a warning.

I’m about to unzip my sleeping bag when Luke shouts, “Wait, it might be a real snake. Let’s kick it to make sure!”

Now I’m frantically trying to unzip my sleeping bag. The joke is ruined, and I’m about to get pummeled. As I’m struggling with the zipper, I hear a giant thud!

I finally get my head out and see Billy sitting on top of Luke.

“Sorry, I thought you were a giant cockroach,” Billy says with a grin. “Had to tackle you to make sure.”

It’s good to have friends.

We turn out the lights and settle down. Glasses—I mean, Contacts—Zander, Trent, and Jackson fall asleep quickly. Mark, Luke, and Jordan play on their phones. I’m about to drift off when I hear something.

“Hang on! I’ll show you. It’s easy.”

The voice cuts through the dark. Billy and I sit straight up. I’m not scared until I see someone moving around in the dark. Mark quickly taps the flashlight on his phone. He shines it at Jackson, who’s walking around in the middle of the room.

“Move the piece here,” he says. “In eight moves, you’ll win. Orange juice. I want June bug and catcher’s mitt. Blaburry moose!”

Jackson isn’t making sense. I’m about to correct his grammar when Mark whispers, “No way! Jackson is sleepwalking and talking in his sleep. My cousin does that.”

“What a loooser,” Jordan says.

“Let’s wake him up and make fun of him,” Luke adds. “From now on, I’m calling him Blaburry Moose.”

I have to do something. Quick.

“Confused squirrel monkey!” I stand up and shout. “Apple juice cornflake skunk bird!”

I stumble over to the wall and just stare at it. Billy instantly catches on.

“Fried bloated bacon cantaloupe origami,” Billy says.

He wanders around the room mumbling gibberish.

“What’s going on?” Jordan shouts.

He gets up and turns on the lights. This wakes up everyone, including Jackson. His face starts to turn red. I can tell he’s embarrassed.

“We got them!” I exclaim. “They totally thought we were sleepwalking. It was Jackson’s idea. We just wanted to see what you guys would do.”

“Jackson was the most believable, but come on . . . fried bloated bacon cantaloupe origami was pretty good,” Billy says.

Jackson slowly realizes what we’re doing.

“Yeah,” he says. “It was just a prank. Did it work?”

“No,” Mark replies. “We knew it was a trick.”

Jordan turns off the lights. We eventually all fall asleep, but not before Jackson quietly thanks me and Billy for covering for him. Like I said, it’s good to have friends. But it’s even better to be a friend.

Overall, the sleepover is a lot of fun. Well, it is until I head out the next morning and discover my bike lock is missing. Maybe the Terrible Two-and-a-Halfsome is accurate.