Chapter 21

We get in line for the Hippo Stampede roller coaster. Unfortunately, so does everyone else. And I mean everyone!

As you read this, I’m guessing that you’re probably in this line too. Maybe you made the same mistake we did and rode the extremely slow train first.

Speaking of slow, the line for the Hippo Stampede actually stretches outside the park and into the parking lot. We’re barely moving, but I’m keeping a positive attitude.

“Good news!” I say. “This line will eventually move past where we parked our car. If we forgot anything, we can just grab it as we go by.”

“I think I forgot my brain when I decided to come here,” Dad jokes.

An hour later we finally get on the ride. The roller coaster cars look like angry hippos. We sit in a blue one, push down the safety bar, and wait for the ride to begi—

Whoa! These hippos don’t just look angry, they move angry. We take off flying down the track and into two giant loops that turn us upside down!

This is when I remember the coins in my pocket. I remember them because they come pouring out as we round the first loop. There’s also lots of loud screaming that seems to annoy everyone on the ride. I feel bad for those people, but you’d scream, too, if you got two dimes stuck in your nose.

Forty-five seconds later, the ride screeches to a stop. I guess the hippos stop angry too. We want to ride it again, but the line is even longer now. (I hope you eventually make it on! If you do, please look for the rest of my coins.)

We start walking to the Flying Henry ride when Henry Hippo himself decides to visit the middle of the park and frighten everyone.

I am, of course, old enough to know it’s just a guy in a giant hippo suit who smells like rotten beef jerky and microwaved cabbage. I used to think it was the real Henry Hippo. I’m smarter than that now. The real Henry Hippo probably bought a river to live in with the profits from his thriving businesses.

My brother is not as smart as me. Brian wants to give Henry a high five. We head toward the fragrant hippo impersonator. I look at my dad, who seems to be smiling. Mom’s smiling too, likely because she just got her hair to lie down. Those two loops on the roller coaster really did a number on her bangs.

Brian gives Henry Hippo a big high five. I make a mental note to remind my brother to wash his hand before he touches anything else. Henry then hands my brother a coupon for some free cotton candy. This gets my dad’s attention. He high-fives Henry with one hand and holds out his other hand for more coupons.

I have to capture this moment with a photo! I reach into my pocket, grab what I think is my phone, and snap the picture. Waahhh! Weewooo!

Oops! I’m holding the walkie-talkie instead of my phone. I reach into my other pocket for the phone, but it’s not there. I check all my pockets. I check my socks. I check everywhere I might have put my phone. It’s gone!

My brain races. Where is the last place I remember having it? Was I playing with it in line? How much does a phone cost to replace? I take a deep breath.

Billy’s house! I think I left my survival handbook at Billy’s house. But that’s not important right now.

Dad is still smiling. This is the happiest I’ve seen him all day, probably because he’s holding four coupons for free cotton candy. It’s nice to see him smile, but I’m about to change his mood.

Why did I even bring my phone? I knew the cell service here was limited at best. Mom even told me to leave my phone in the car. I wish the Bible had clear advice about kids obeying their parents.

Sure, Ephesians 6:1 says, “Children, obey your parents. . . . Obey them because it’s the right thing to do.” But that could mean anything! Why didn’t the apostle Paul also add, “so you don’t lose your cell phone”? He was supposed to be wise!

“Uh, Dad?” I stammer. “I’ve got some bad news.”

“You want to go on the roller coaster again, right?” he asks. “That’s not bad news. Let’s get in line. We can eat free cotton candy while we wait!”

There isn’t enough free cotton candy at this theme park to keep him in a good mood once he hears my news. I just need to get it over with. I need to treat this bad news like a Band-Aid and just rip it off. So I do that.

“Auuugggghhh!”

Now that the unicorn Band-Aid is no longer on my forehead, now it’s time to tell my parents I’ve lost my phone.

“Um . . . I need to tell you guys something.”

Ring-a. Ring-a. Ring.

“Hang on,” Mom says, pulling out her cell phone. “Hello? This is Mrs. Smiley. Can you hear me? I don’t have great service right now.”

Why is Mom taking a phone call in the middle of me telling her my terrible news? I wonder. This isn’t like a Band-Aid at all. It’s slow-peeling torture.

“Bob, did you lose your phone?” Mom asks.

“I did!” I perk up. “Did someone find it?”

Turns out my phone fell from my pocket during the roller coaster ride. Someone found it and called my mom. I suggest we meet by the cotton candy stand. Maybe Dad’s mood will stay sweet if he keeps eating.

We get to the cotton candy stand and wait.

“Do we know who we’re looking for?” I ask Mom.

“No. She said she would recognize you.”

Great. How many people know about that school flagpole incident? We only have to wait for a couple of minutes before I point and shout: “It’s her!”

Tube Girl (name still changed for this book) walks up laughing.

“This is crazy,” I say. “I found your missing phone—then you found mine!”

“I know,” she says, handing me my phone. “Good thing you taught me that trick to get into a locked phone.”

We both say together: “Hey Siri, call Mom!”

Now that I have my phone back, we decide to ride Hippo Stampede again. Dad’s happy because he can eat cotton candy in line. I’m happy because the line still stretches into the parking lot, so I can put my phone in our car as we pass by.

I’m not losing it again!

The rest of the day goes great. I find more loose change under Hippo Stampede, I watch my brother get soaked on the Hurling, Swirling Hippo River, and I know for sure that hippos can’t fly because the Flying Henry ride never gets off the ground.

Who knows, maybe Flying Henry and the two “Under Construction” rides will be up and running next time we visit.