Chapter 5

Billy and I stay away from the big tree for the next few days. Remember, we’re not scared at all; we’re just making plans. I talk with Mr. Polvado and let him know that we met the Huge Hairy Hisser. He likes our new name for the gigantic raccoon.

He also tries to frighten us by telling us Triple-H probably has some even bigger friends out there. Ha! That’s like saying there’s a bigger bully than Donny. Impossible! I guess Mr. Polvado really doesn’t want us near his house with a hammer.

Oh, and I also invite him to church. Just 484 to go.

“You already invited me to church,” he reminds me. “I sit in the back every week.”

Oh well, the Huge Hairy Hisser must have me distracted. So distracted that I forgot about our family trip.

We don’t go on many family vacations. I’ve been helping Dad plan this one for months, but I didn’t know part of his plan was to shout, “Let’s go!” as he stood over my bed at six in the morning. Mom was also standing there, ready to play the evil song if I didn’t leap into action.

Dad always likes to get an early start. And he’s super excited for our trip. We’re going to New Braunfels to tube in the Comal River!

If you haven’t heard of this famous winding river but would like to know what it’s like, here’s what you do: Fill your bathtub up with ice. Then add cold water. Now jump in.

You also might want to first text your neighbors to apologize for the loud scream they’re about to hear. If you can’t feel your body and your hands turn blue, you’re experiencing the Comal River!

I’m not quite as excited about the trip as Dad is, but it will be good for Billy. Now he can see how boring summer break is without his best friend around.

On the drive to New Braunfels, Dad explains that the river is “spring fed.” That must be code for “freezing cold water.”

It takes about three hours to get to New Braunfels. In Texas, we call that a “short drive.” The time would’ve probably passed faster if I hadn’t lost my slide flute on our last vacation. My family loves my musical solos.

Once we arrive, we unpack the car and I decide to go for a plunge to find out just how cold this river is.

My younger brother claims that I accidentally fell in, but since you weren’t there, you shouldn’t believe him. Just know I made the decision on my own to dive in . . . right as my foot slipped on the mossy step leading down to the water.

Anyway, I fall headfirst into the clear, blue rolling water. “Ahhhauuuuw!”

Except for my body doing a full shiver and my fingers and toes going numb, it’s a super peaceful experience.

Being underwater drowns out my scream, and it’s amazingly clear down here. I swim along the river bottom, shocked by all the beautiful creations floating around. I see moss, underwater plants, tiny minnows, and about two thousand aluminum cans. I also see a couple of Band-Aids, but I really don’t want to talk about that.

I don’t understand why people litter! Why go to a river on vacation and then throw trash in it? You obviously go there because it’s a beautiful place. Why mess it up by throwing your garbage in the water?

I surface for some air and dive back down to swim through some cattails. Soon I’m quickly running out of air again. I put my feet on the river bottom and shoot straight up out of the water.

“Auuughhhh!”

This time the scream isn’t mine. The girl on the inner tube I collided with was probably going to say some other words, but “Auuughhh” is all she gets out before tipping over backward into the water.

“I’m so sorry,” I say . . . once she comes back up shivering.

It turns out that tons of people are tubing down the river at the same time, so you have to be super careful when resurfacing. I apologize again, but quickly realize I have a bigger problem. The river has pulled me way downstream!

I can see my brother back in the distance. He now looks like a tiny action figure standing there laughing at me for falling . . . um, actually, I don’t know why he’s laughing. But I can tell that he is.

I try swimming against the current. As hard as I try, I just stay in the same place. That’s when I remember my survival handbook! (I really need to read that thing someday. I bet there’s something in there about being trapped in a flowing river.)

I start dog-paddling toward the shore. If I can just make it to the rocks, I can climb out of the river and walk back to our room. However, I never discover if my plan is a good one.

As I’m trying to swim sideways, I feel something grab the back of my shirt and yank me out of the water.

“Help!” I yell. “Someone is grabbing me against my will!”

Okay, there’s lots of water splashing against my face, so it comes out more like “Wahyaaahhhaaa!” which I’m hoping is some foreign language that means basically the same thing.