It was so much like her dream. A wall of green fire rose before her, and she knew she had to push through it, although what waited on the other side was a mystery that eluded her. But this time, she could not control the flames, no matter how frantically she struggled against them. Every time she attempted to move forward, the fire resisted her and thrust her backwards.
She felt like a fish caught in one of the traps in the river, battering itself against a rock in a futile attempt to find its way back to the main current. Surely it would be easier to give in, to let the cleansing flames take her and set her free from this struggle.
But as soon as this thought came into her mind, she saw it was wrong. Surrendering would mean she would lose something important, something she would never recover. What that was... the knowledge of it hovered out of reach, no words able to encompass its deep truth.
So she continued struggling against the blaze with as much strength and ferocity as she had in her.
Just as she thought she was never going to break through it, another force—a sound, or a memory—caught hold of her and dragged her back into her body, leaving her gasping for breath. She staggered, but she was holding Sarnd’s hand, the only thing that stopped them both from toppling to the floor.
Before them was the oddest scene she could have ever imagined.
Betharad knelt like a supplicant at their feet. Jessa was shocked to see her face was dirty and streaked with tears. Her clothes were torn and covered in dust, and half her hair had escaped from its tie. But their sister was also smiling up at them with a joy that shone out among the shattered ruins surrounding them.
Much more shocking was that Urzed loomed like a thunderhead behind Betharad. His eyes were widened in surprise, but there was anger there too, and it was growing all the time. His arm was half-raised, sword in his hand, but he would not stay paralysed for long.
Jessa knew she was staring, her mind still reeling from her fight to escape from that terrible place. Any explanation for what she saw eluded her.
Then understanding hit her like a lightning strike out of a summer sky. The words burst from her in a ragged cry. “Oh Betha. You called us back!”
But any scrap of happiness that gave her was short-lived. A pressure in the air above throbbed with barely contained anticipation; she knew this was Karrti, waiting for the right moment to pull itself through the Fissure.
Underneath and over and through everything else, the Orufasu’s seductive song threatened to fill her mind as the Serpentstone—their Stone—sought to claim them once again.
Then Urzed raised his other arm and with a flick of his fingers, released a dazzling net of light which fanned out in the air above the three of them. Jessa knew this would immobilise or kill on contact, but she was given no time to react—and no knowledge of what she could do, if she had time.
To her astonishment, the Orufasu flashed and Urzed was flung like a piece of cloth away from them. His net of light evaporated, and Jessa heard the sickening crunch as his body crashed into one of the pillars. Smoke poured from his mouth and ears and he lay there, unmoving. She felt no sympathy for him.
In the back of her mind, the Orufasu hissed in its blunt and wordless way, I protect my own... and you are mine.
In a heartbeat, Jessa’s small feeling of relief dissipated. How can we ever break free?
She looked around, trying to grasp what had been taking place, to fit together the clues into something that made sense. They were still in the fortress, but the chamber had been utterly transformed from the scene Jessa remembered. Rubble lay all over the place, several of the pillars had been shattered, and at least half the others showed a spider web of cracks, some so wide it was a wonder they’d managed to stay upright. One wall had almost collapsed, and the tops of the remaining walls resembled broken and jagged teeth. The clouds above boiled and trembled, desperate to escape. How long had they been here?
Something terrible has happened!
People stood among the ruins of the chamber, some of whom she recognised. Apart from Betharad, they looked back at her with expressions of uncertainty, if not outright fear—even Elian and Kavilas.
Then the realisation crashed down, as if one of those great pillars had fallen on top of her; she and Sarnd had caused this devastation. For a fleeting instant she recalled who—or what—she had been a few minutes ago. The echoes of that feeling of exultation in their power to smash and break and unmake came back over her like a sudden sickness. Urzed had been right after all.
This is what we can become. This is what we truly are.
She looked down at herself, and was surprised to see she was still contained in the same, small body she’d always known. Did she still have the right to it?
“What happened to us?” her brother asked, shaking his head. But that would never be enough to banish their intense self-loathing. “How did we lose ourselves?”
“So it’s true then... we were created from the Serpentstone. I can’t... it feels so...”
“I know,” he answered, and he did, better than anyone else. “We really are monsters. It was so easy...”
The hate for herself was akin to the Stone’s dominating power when it had been crushing her free will out of existence. They had been betrayed by the people they thought were their parents, but that hardly mattered in comparison. The person she’d believed herself to be was no more than a hollow shell. She hung her head in shame.
“But you’re not monsters. You’re much more than that!” Betharad pleaded, a raw and desperate edge to her voice. “You found the strength and the will to break free of it.”
“I think it was more of an accident, at least on my part,” said Jessa. She looked at her brother, who was nodding slowly. “I was trapped in green fire, with no idea where I was, or how to get out of it. And then, I thought of you, and Sarnd, and I held on to that as hard as I could.”
Sarnd’s answering smile was brief, then then his face fell. “Yes, but that means nothing. We were created from evil... how can we claim to be human?”
The truth was undeniable. She might feel like a real person now, but all that could be swept away in a heartbeat.
Kavilas joined them, helping Betharad to rise. Jessa had no time to wonder that they kept hold of each other’s hands afterwards, because the marshal’s words were so unexpected. “I’m no expert, but in my role I’ve learned many different things about how people behave, and there’s a lot in you that I can only describe as human.”
What the marshal said was logical, and gave her mind something to latch on to. She wanted to believe, more than she’d ever had faith in anything before, that her own humanity was still within reach.
As for what her heart wanted... Betharad was choked with tears as she smiled at the marshal. When she looked back at the twins, a joy lit up her eyes that exceeded the sorrow. That was when Jessa knew, without a shadow of doubt, that despite all their terrible deeds, their older sister still loved them. And that, more than any words, anchored her, and gave her strength to stand more upright.
Whether Betharad’s love was enough to sustain them, to give them back something of their old, innocent existence, only time would tell. Jessa decided that she would fight to stay worthy of that love, and leave behind those violent creatures of chaos.
The budding relief this realisation brought her was short-lived, for Kavilas went on. “But now is not the time to debate that. We’ve all been through a lot already, and it’s not over yet.”
He was right. Even if they were strong enough to remain in control of themselves, there were deadly forces on all sides that would try to bring them down.