Ivy’s stomach was in her throat as her feet swung what felt like a million feet above the ground. She sat on a five-person ski lift, which turned out was also a bike lift, heading to the top of a huge-ass mountain, where apparently some of the best biking trails in the world could be found.
She had Bodie, Harper, and Shay on her left, Mace on her right. Zeke and Serena were on the lift right behind them.
Shay had made it clear when they’d all met at the mountain resort’s parking lot; she was only here so her pass didn’t go to waste, but she still wasn’t speaking to Mace.
Whatever Mace thought of this, he kept to himself, though he did tell Shay that she looked hot in her bike shorts.
Shay had just stared at him, but when she turned away, Ivy caught her smiling. Apparently adults were just as screwed-up as teenagers.
“Hey, Bodie,” Shay said. “Can you tell Mace to stop kicking his feet? He’s making the chair swing and I’m getting carsick. If he doesn’t stop, I’ll puke on him.”
“I’m pretty sure he can hear you,” Bodie said.
“Hey, Bodie,” Mace said. “Can you tell Shay I’d do anything for her, including stopping breathing, but I can’t stop swinging my feet because I’m not swinging my feet? The wind is kicking us around, not me. If she’d been on time, we’d have been up here twenty minutes earlier and missed these series of gusts.”
“Seriously?” Shay asked him. “Like you know anything about a woman’s struggle to get ready in the morning, what with your thirty-second showers and short hair that you don’t even brush. I mean, it takes me a solid three minutes just to get my hair all the way wet! And don’t even get me started on the rest of it. You think sticking your face into the shower spray is washing your face, meanwhile, my skincare routine is a five-step process.”
Ivy couldn’t help it: she snorted. She was fascinated by their dynamic. They fought but never stopped hanging out with each other. Like, they actually all wanted to be together.
“Point one for the prosecution!” Serena yelled from the lift behind them.
“Is this what we’re doing today?” Bodie asked no one. “Really?”
Shay stuck her tongue out at Mace.
Ivy laughed again.
Bodie looked at her and smiled as if he couldn’t help it. “How am I stuck between the two of you?” he asked Mace and Shay. “Either stop poking at each other or tell us once and for all why you guys broke up.”
His brother looked at his ex-girlfriend, who turned her head and stared at the mountainside.
“Someone needs to speak or someone’s getting pushed off,” Bodie warned.
“That would be murder one,” Mace said.
“No, it’d be manslaughter,” Bodie corrected. “And I know a good lawyer.”
“Yeah, he does,” Serena called out.
Only a few weeks earlier, this conversation would have made Ivy tense and unhappy. But now . . . now she was starting to get it. This was how they showed their affection.
Mace sighed and tipped his head back. “I asked her to marry me,” he said to the sky.
All heads swiveled to Shay in shock, including Ivy’s.
“Hey,” Shay said. “I’ve always told him, from day one, I wasn’t going to ever get married. Ever. Ever ever. Marriage ruins everything.”
“Yeah, it does,” Ivy said, in total agreement.
Shay high-fived Ivy.
“Stop that,” Bodie said to Shay. “I want my daughter to believe in love.”
The “my daughter” warmed Ivy from the inside out, but it didn’t change her views.
“Ever ever?” Zeke asked Shay.
“No means no.”
“Point two for the prosecution,” Serena yelled.
“And it’s not like I don’t have my reasons,” Shay said. “My mom and dad were married, and they hated each other. Like hated hated . . .” She drew a deep breath as if she was struggling to control her emotions, and Ivy felt her throat sting in sympathy.
Mace leaned forward to look directly at Shay. “I’m not your dad,” he said quietly. “And you’re not your mom.”
Shay just shook her head and refused to look at him. “I’m not doing this one hundred feet in the air with witnesses. Someone who loves me needs to change the subject now.”
There was a single beat of silence. Then Mace said, “How about this weather, huh?”
Shay surprised Ivy by actually smiling at her ex.
Harper outright laughed, and Bodie smiled at her. Since he already had his arm around her, he pulled her in—as if they weren’t already plastered up against each other—and brushed a kiss to her temple.
Harper looked at him as if he’d hung the moon or something equally stupid and sappy, and Ivy frowned, startled by the unexpected surge of irritation. It made no sense, but the truth was, when Bodie had invited her today, she’d thought it would be something special, just the two of them. Not that she didn’t like his brothers and Shay and Harper. She did. She liked them all, so much. She just . . . hell, she had no idea why she suddenly felt irrationally grumpy. Maybe because the math said she was an outsider.
And she was far too used to that.
“Can we call a truce?” Mace asked.
Shay looked undecided.
“Maybe you can agree to start out by being friends,” Harper said. “You could take it from there. Kinda like when you lease-to-buy.”
Shay and Mace eyed each other.
“Not a bad idea,” Mace said.
Shay looked at him for a long moment. Then shrugged. “Definitely not the worst idea I’ve heard.”
Mace reached out and covered Ivy’s ears. “And if you wanted to do the whole friends-with-benefits package, I wouldn’t object.”
“I can still hear,” Ivy said.
Bodie smacked Mace upside the back of his head, but Shay laughed. “Lease-to-buy it is.”
They got off the lift at the top and stood in a clump adjusting their helmets and gear. Harper was the only one in the group who wasn’t a strong bike rider, but in Chicago, Ivy’s most prized possession had been her bike because it’d meant freedom. She’d ridden everywhere. This bike, the one Bodie had borrowed for her, was light-years better than anything she’d ever had, and she was excited to get going.
“Please, I don’t want anyone waiting for me,” Harper said, looking embarrassed. “Just go as fast as you all want and don’t look back. I’ll meet you all at the bottom in about five years.”
Everyone laughed, and Bodie hugged her. Again. “I’ll stay with you,” he said.
So much for her first father/daughter day. Ivy tried not to let this get to her, she really did. She’d known about their attraction. Hell, the air sizzled whenever they were in the same room, and she’d seen that kiss. But today felt different, like they’d . . . oh crap. They’d done it, they’d slept together. Gross. But also . . . she couldn’t shake off her bad mood. She’d trusted Harper, who’d known her history, known that Bodie was her biological father and that Ivy was terrified of messing it all up.
She didn’t understand why Harper would do this to her, but she knew one thing—this was how the beginning of the end always started with her mom. She’d bring a good guy around, they’d all get attached, and then her mom would ruin things and they’d be alone again.
“Ready?” Bodie asked her with a smile, and she felt herself smile back. And thankfully as soon as they started down the hill, she forgot to be grumpy because it was . . . magical. The wind in her face. The tall, towering pines on either side of the trail, the gorgeous flashes of the lake far below. The trail was long, which she loved, and she smiled the whole time.
Ivy, Mace, Shay, Serena, and Zeke all got to the mid-mountain lodge. She had a perma-grin on her face. They’d talked smack to one another, laughing the whole way. About ten minutes later, Harper finally came into view, going awkwardly slow, Bodie just behind her.
“Isn’t this amazing?” Harper asked when she stopped at Ivy’s side.
“It was, before we had to wait forever for you to get down.” The second the words left her mouth, she felt like the biggest jerk on the planet. “I’m sorry.” She covered her mouth. “I didn’t mean that. Teenagers shouldn’t talk. My mom always says that, and I never listen.”
Harper glanced from Ivy to Bodie, just up ahead and in some sort of joking shoving contest with Mace. “Don’t be sorry, I get it,” she said softly. “And I’m the sorry one, Ivy.”
“No, please.” She felt near tears, which she hated. “Forget I said anything. I didn’t mean it. Really.”
“You did,” Harper said, so kindly that Ivy had to bite her tongue, hard. “And you were right.” She turned to the others and raised her voice. “Hey, guys. I really need to catch my breath. I’m going to sit this next one out.”
Bodie turned from Mace. “You sure? I’m happy to keep biking with you at your pace.”
Harper smiled at him, not a hint of irritation with Ivy in her voice. “I’m very sure, I really want to sit and watch while you ride. The view will be great.”
Everyone laughed while Ivy’s gut churned, but still Harper didn’t tattle or give her away. “Harper, you don’t have to do this.”
“Yes, I do.” Harper squeezed her hand. “I shouldn’t have crashed your day. I’m sorry.”
Ivy hated that she was still far too close to tears. “You didn’t crash it. He invited you.”
“That doesn’t mean you don’t get to be upset.” Harper’s eyes were solemn but genuine. “I’m going to be happy sitting out, trust me. And, Ivy? If you ever want to talk about anything, even if it’s about me, or your dad, or me and your dad, I’m always here, okay? Even if it’s something you think might hurt my feelings, I’m always available to you.”
Ivy’s stomach felt icky. And heavy. Guilt ate at her, but she didn’t know how to deal with it, with any of it. But Harper saved her again by calling to Shay, “You want to join me on the sundeck outside the lodge for a quick break?”
Shay looked undecided.
“I’m buying the snacks,” Harper said.
“Should have led with that.” Shay craned her neck to Mace. “Hey.”
“I didn’t do it,” he said.
“Do what?”
“Whatever you think I did.”
Shay snorted. “Good to know. Come on. Harper’s buying. I’m going to share my goodies with you.”
Mace made a show of looking around. “Babe, I’ve already told you I’d do anything for you, but this is a family resort.”
Zeke curled his upper lip. “Seriously, man?”
But Shay laughed, and Mace smiled at her laughing and parked his bike.
Zeke rolled his eyes and looked at his wife. “Race you to the bottom?”
“If the winner doesn’t have to do laundry for a week,” Serena said.
“Or dishes,” Zeke said.
Serena took off like a shot, leaving Zeke in her wake.
“Oh, very mature,” Zeke yelled after her, doing his best to catch her.
Everyone was laughing, but Ivy couldn’t. She knew what Harper had done, coaxing Mace and Shay to stay with her so that Ivy could be alone with Bodie, and she felt like a shithead to the highest magnitude.
“Come on, Kit Kat,” Bodie said, and slung an arm around her as they turned back to their bikes. “Back up to the top, or all the way down?” he asked.
“Up,” she said, needing a minute to process.
As they waited in line for the lift, she stood quietly, feeling the weight of Bodie’s gaze several times, but he didn’t speak until they were on the lift again, just the two of them. Which was exactly what she’d secretly wanted, but she now felt ashamed that she’d broken them all up when they were clearly happy to spend the day together.
It was like this whole place and all the people in it were completely alien to her, a group she wanted desperately to be a part of, but no idea how to do that.
“I’m sorry,” Bodie said.
She turned a startled gaze to him. “What?”
“I should’ve thought that maybe you’d want today to be just us. I’m . . .” He let out a rough laugh. “Really new to this. I’m afraid I’m going to make mistakes.”
Embarrassed that he’d figured out the problem, her problem, she said, “Me too. Like . . . a lot of them.”
“Ditto.” He smiled at her, a sweet, warm smile, and she found herself helplessly smiling back. “I know we’re a big, noisy, obnoxious group,” he said. “And I know that can feel overwhelming. I should’ve warned you. We’re a lot.”
And just like that, she was back to feeling that stupid lump in her throat. Turning her head away, unable to voice her thoughts, she took in the 360 degrees of sharp, majestic mountains blanketed in summer greenery, so stunning it took her breath.
She’d truly never seen anything like it.
“Ivy?” Bodie nudged her gently with his shoulder.
“I like them,” she whispered. “Your family.”
“Good.” He waited until she looked at him again. “You fit right in, you know. With us. I hope you feel that.”
How pathetically desperate was she that she wanted to believe him more than anything?
A few minutes later, they got off the lift at the top of the world and he flashed a smile at her. “Race you to the bottom.”
She felt a grin split her face and a surge of adrenaline. “You’re on.”
Bodie flew down the trail, the wind in his face, grinning while watching as directly in front of him, his daughter—his daughter—kicked serious ass on the trail.
She’d started out slightly hesitant though skilled. But she was used to city biking, which was a whole different beast than mountain biking. But she’d gotten her bearings quickly and he felt pride bursting out of every pore watching her handle herself with confidence and grace.
She was a chip off her old man’s block, he thought with pride, as the mid-mountain lodge came into sight, and knowing everyone was watching her, he just couldn’t stop grinning, his heart two sizes too big for his chest.
Which was when he hit a rock with his front wheel, and . . . went sailing over the handlebars. His last thought was, great, he was biffing it right in front of the lodge with an audience that no doubt included his family.
The next thing he knew, he was flat on his back, blinking up at the sky. Nope, scratch that. Five heads, as they popped into his field of vision.
“Good thing he was wearing a helmet,” one of the heads said. Mace.
“It’s okay, his head is as hard as any of those rocks.” Zeke.
“Ohmigod, are you okay?” This was Harper’s worried voice and, he assumed, her soft warm hand on his shoulder.
“You should have seen how high you got!” Ivy said, grinning wide with . . . pride?
“You were in the air for forever before you went splat,” she added.
“Thanks, Kit Kat.”
“I mean you literally made the splat noise.”
Mace wrapped an arm around Ivy’s neck and hugged her to him. “I love you so much. We’re going to make a great team.”
And given Ivy’s quick grin at his brother’s words, Bodie couldn’t even be mad.
It was afternoon when they called it a day. Harper moved to where Bodie was loading up their bikes. She was proud of herself for making it through the day without dying or embarrassing herself too badly. There had been that one time when she’d gotten dizzy. Not from riding, but from Bodie peeling off his sweatshirt, causing his T-shirt to slide up a little, exposing his lower abs, including that sexy-as-hell V-shaped indention that really fit guys had.
Shrugging that delicious memory off, she took a deep breath and told herself to just say it. “I think I’m going to skip dinner at your mom’s tonight.”
He stopped what he was doing and turned to her, his eyes creased in worry. “Why? Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m not the one who went flying over my handlebars.”
He smiled, as she’d intended. “Smart-ass.”
She stepped a little closer so no one could overhear them. “Tonight will be Ivy’s first time meeting her grandma.”
“I don’t see the problem.”
“I know you don’t,” she said, putting her hand on his arm. “It’s because you’re a man, and you probably never once in your life wondered if you were going to be welcomed somewhere.”
“Harper.” He shook his head and captured her hand in his. “You and Ivy are going to make my mom’s night. Do you have any idea how many years she’s been after me to get serious about someone? Or bring her a grandchild?”
Her breath caught. “You’re . . . serious about me?”
“Very.” He grinned. “Even before you let me taste your . . . cupcakes.”
She laughed, because he had a way of making her feel so good about herself. Good, and sexy, and . . . like she was cherished. She drew a deep breath and tried to stay on track. “I just think that tonight should be about Ivy.”
They looked over at the teen, who was helping Zeke load his bikes, the two of them laughing. Zeke was teasing her, and she was giving it right back. She was a smart-ass. Sharp. Tough. And God, he loved her already, more than he thought possible.
“You’re what she needs right now,” Harper said.
“You’re right,” Bodie said quietly. “And I should’ve thought of it.”
She smiled. “That will all come with time. But for now, she needs your undivided attention tonight. She’s never had this much loving family around her. She’s nervous, scared, and a flight risk. She needs her dad.”
Something he knew she knew a whole bunch about.
“Trust me on this, Bodie. You need to choose her.”
“I do. And I always will. But, Harper?” He cupped her face. “You’re a choice too. A priority. I want you to know that.” He dropped a quick kiss on her lips, hoping she could believe it.
On the way home, Harper watched Bodie and Ivy tease each other with a new level of comfort that thrilled her. She was also hugely amused when Ivy wanted to be dropped off at the lake to spend some time with James and Jessie before dinner at her grandma’s—like a regular teen who’d had enough dad time.
So when Bodie pulled up to the bakery, it was just the two of them. “Do you want to come in?” she asked at the same time that he said, “Can I come in?”
She laughed. “You don’t have to ask.”
He caught her hand before she could slide out. “I do,” he said. “You’ve got some personal-space boundaries and I’m trying to respect them.” He was turned to face her in the driver’s seat, one hand draped over the wheel, the other on the passenger headrest, his fingers playing with her hair, the look on his face messing with her resting heart rate.
“I appreciate that,” she said. “But I don’t feel the need for space from you. At least . . .” She smiled. “Not at the moment.”
He flashed a grin and walked her up to her apartment. They were accosted by a sleepy but excited Ham, who they walked until he’d pooped his heart out. They all made a quick stop in the bakery kitchen for snacks, and then they were in Harper’s small apartment.
Bodie filled that space in the very best of ways. He turned in a circle, taking in the personal touches she’d added. Some pics on the walls. A few plants. Ivy’s shoes in the entryway. He smiled. “Feels nice in here. Like how I feel with you. Warm and cozy.”
“I make you feel warm and cozy?”
His smile went a little wicked. “Well, not at the moment. Not in those shorts you’re wearing. I’ve been having fantasies about your legs all day long.”
She laughed as they settled on the couch with apples, cheese, crackers, and half of a moose tracks pie she had left over. They talked about everyday stuff. How the bakery was shaping up, the things she still needed to do to make it successful but hadn’t found the time for. Ads, connecting with caterers, local restaurants, stuff like that. He told her some more about his family, some of his and his brothers’ hijinks, and made her laugh so hard she cried. They were on the moose tracks pie when he told her about his brother Austin and how he still missed him every single day, but especially how much Austin would’ve loved her moose tracks pie, which had been his favorite thing of all things.
They got quiet, and Bodie pulled her close, pressing his forehead to hers. “I know we haven’t known each other that long, not yet, but you being here . . .” His eyes held hers, warm and steady. “You already mean so much to a lot of people, Harper.”
Not sure she was able to believe that, she shook her head and opened her mouth, but he gently put a finger to her lips. “Like to Ivy,” he said. “Shay . . .” He kissed her softly before pulling back, running the pad of his thumb over her bottom lip. “Me.”
She drew a deep breath to clear the fog of arousal his touch always had her in. “It does feel like we’ve known each other a lot longer than we have.”
“Agreed.” He pulled her onto his lap. “And yet there’s still so much more I want to know about you.”
“Like?” she asked breathlessly, sliding her fingers into his hair for the sheer pleasure of feeling him rock against her.
“Like . . .” He twisted so that she lay flat, pinned by 180 pounds of highly motivated man. “What sound you’ll make when I do this . . .” Leaning down, he kissed the soft, sensitive skin just beneath her ear, then lightly bit her, eliciting a gasp of pleasure from her.
“Mmm, that one,” he whispered huskily against her skin as his mouth took itself on a hot, wet, thorough tour to the hollow of her throat, making her moan. “And that . . .”
“Bodie, you have to leave soon to get Ivy to your mom’s . . .”
“I’ve still got enough time to make us both very happy.”
She laughed. “I take longer than you to get . . . happy.”
“Trust me, Harper. Your happy is my highest priority.”
She had her hands inside his clothes now, trying to get him naked. Luckily, their goals were aligned as he divested her of her clothes. “Love how you taste. I need more.” Lowering his head, he kissed everything he’d uncovered before making a home for himself between her thighs. “And I especially love the way you look like this.”
“At your mercy, you mean.”
“You’ve got that entirely backward.” Thankfully he’d taken to having condoms on him, and he didn’t disappoint. They wrestled a little to get into a good position, bumping into each other, laughing and swearing as they tried to line things up on the too-short couch. Finally, he sat up and had her straddle him, slowly letting her sink over him until he was in as deep as he could go. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe, could only feel. When she rolled her hips to his, he stilled, head back, eyes closed, a look of sheer ecstasy on his face. Then he opened his eyes and looked deep into hers. “I’m at your mercy, Harper. Always.”
He kissed her then, and the way he held on to her like she was everything sent them both flying.
She’d had good experiences before, even great. But even with Daniel, who’d told her he loved her, whom she’d lived with . . . she’d never felt like they’d made love. The intimacies she’d shared with Bodie had pointed that out for her. He’d made her no promises, had offered nothing but pleasure, and yet she’d felt joined to him in a way she’d never felt with her ex. Something to think about.
“I smell smoke,” Bodie said, a quiet rumble in her ear as he gently ran a finger along her temple, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “You okay?”
She nodded, her hand rubbing back and forth over his chest. God, she loved his body and the way it made hers feel. “Just reminding myself to keep my head and my heart separated, because that was . . . wow.”
He smiled with just a hint of his dimple, but his eyes were warm and serious. “You don’t have to keep them separated. I still want more for us. Can you understand that?”
“No,” she said honestly.
He was clearly surprised by her answer. “Just out of curiosity, what is it you think we’re doing?”
“Fulfilling fantasies. Having fun.” She smiled to soften her shrug. “Burning bright.”
He exhaled like the air had been kicked from his lungs. “You still think this is just a fling. That maybe I’m going to walk away from you.”
“I mean . . . it happens.”
He gave a small, disbelieving head shake. “What am I doing wrong?”
She couldn’t have possibly cared more for him in that moment. But the funny thing about living with fear of attachment for so long was . . . it didn’t just go away. “Nothing. It’s the shit from my past. It’s the voice in my head. It’s not you, it’s me.”
He choked out a laugh.
“What?”
“I’ve just never had that line used on me before. Usually . . .”
When he trailed off, she laughed. “Usually you use it?”
He grimaced.
She took his hand and pressed it to her heart. “For me, it’s not just a line, Bodie. It’s the truth.” Then she used his own words. “Can you understand that?”
He looked into her eyes. “After all you’ve been through, yes.”
She’d expected him to be scared off. But he wasn’t. She seemed to be the only scared one. Which had her thinking that maybe, for the first time in her life, she should try living without that fear for a change.
If she even could . . .