Forty

It’s cold. Dark and cold. I shiver, my shoulders shaking against the chill. I want to embrace the iciness, to wrap myself up in it until I’m numb.

Austin’s warm hand smooths my hair, running from my crown down my back. I’m pulled into a sitting position. My shoulders fall back against the wall of his strong chest as his arms come around me. I keep my eyes closed. Even as the heat of his body starts to warm me through, I fight against it. I’m not ready for the pain that comes with thawing out. I’m not sure I can endure it. I just want to go back to the anesthetic of the cold.

His hands run down my arms, sending prickles of pain along my arms as my nerves come back to life. No. Fear and panic twist around in my stomach, competing for dominance in the empty space that once was filled with Blake.

And then the cold disappears all at once and I can’t help but feel it. Not the all-consuming pain and grief I expect, but something far worse. My heart is empty, drained. Utterly alone.

“Blake!” I call, but there’s no trace of him. Not a hint of emotion, good or bad. I can’t feel him at all. He’s really gone. My eyes fly open; I’m no longer able to keep the panic at bay.

Blake lies on the beach a few feet in front of me. I start to move toward him, but the arms around my waist fold tighter, holding me back.

“Shhhh,” Austin whispers. His voice is soothing, a comfort I can’t afford to indulge.

“Let me go.” I pull away, and this time he doesn’t stop me. I scramble across the sand, throwing my arms around Blake’s lifeless form. I don’t bother to check his vital signs; I already know there won’t be any. The hollow place inside me tells me everything I need to know.

I don’t cry. I don’t deserve the luxury of tears. Blake is back in human form, in dark jeans and a vintage concert tee. He looks almost normal, other than the streak of blood and the black burn marks that mar the front of his shirt. His skin is still slightly warm, the last bits of life holding on.

Austin walks up behind me. “Destiny is a funny thing. It always finds a way, doesn’t it?”

I want to kill him. I meant to kill him. He should be the one lying on the beach, his heart frozen for eternity. “This is your fault.”

He holds up his hands, turning them over as he looks at them. When he speaks his voice is laced with sarcasm. “Out, damned spot.”

I launch myself at Austin, my fists connecting with his chest as hard as I can.

He grabs my wrist, stopping another blow before it connects with his rib cage. “You think you know what this means, but you don’t. His death means your life. You get to live, Brianna. You win.”

I pull my wrist away from him, stepping back. “You can save him.”

He almost looks sad. “I can’t.”

“I saw you do it. With Dart.”

He laughs. “You think I’m some kind of healer?”

“I saw you. Dart was dead. You brought him back. You healed him.”

“I’m not a healer.” The smile that plays at the corner of his mouth tells me he believes what he says. He’s mocking me.

“How do you explain what you did with Dart, then?”

“A sacrifice of sorts. A reversal spell.”

“A spell? I thought you were a god.”

“Magic in a god’s hands is a powerful tool, Brianna. Surely you’ve discovered that.”

Not exactly, but it does lend credence to my theory. I might still be able to banish Austin. But first I need him to heal Blake. “How does the spell work?”

“I called back the magic.”

Semantics. He healed Dart by reversing the magic. He healed him. “So, you can reverse the magic that killed Blake. You can save him,” I repeat.

“I told you I can’t.” He shakes his head. “I can only reverse my own magic.”

My head fills with white noise. Loud static that hurts my ears. I fall to my knees in the sand. It was never Jonah. It was Austin’s magic. Austin killed Dart.

I feel sick. The blue flames arc across my fingers. I throw the fire right at his gorgeous face. He disappears in a golden flash and the flame lands harmlessly on the sand before vanishing from lack of fuel. He appears again a few feet away, shining like the sun.

How could he do something so horrible? Dart had nothing to do with this fight. Nothing.

I hurl another ball of fire at him. He disappears just before it hits him, appearing again directly in front of me.

“Why?” I barely hear myself ask the question.

Austin steps closer, but he’s watching the fire that dances in the palm of my hand. “To spur you into action. I thought for certain you would go after the Sons. Revenge is a powerful motivator.”

“No shit.” I throw another ball of fire at him. He disappears again.

I collapse in the sand, defeated. It’s all too much. Austin killed Dart to spark a war. A war he needs me to fight in order to win. I’m just the foot soldier, a weapon to be manipulated and used. And now Blake is dead, and Austin won’t rest until the other Sons are dead too. Once the gods return, the humans will be the ones to suffer.

Austin appears next to me, dressed casually in a T-shirt and jeans. He kneels in the sand.“I’ve made a bit of a mess, haven’t I? Brianna, I only ever meant to keep you safe. Don’t you see? If you don’t go after them first, you can’t win. They mean to kill you. They always have. Are you so willing to throw your life away?”

I swallow my pain. Bury it deep. Maybe Austin can’t save Blake, but I can keep him from hurting anyone else. I force myself to meet his gaze, suffocating the instinct to fight him. This is the only way I can think of to stop him. To hurt him. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

I reach for the clasp of my bracelet, unhooking it and letting it fall to the sand. Although he’s said the bracelet doesn’t affect him, I need every arrow in my quiver. Austin’s answering smile carries me forward.

I hold out my hand and he takes it, pulling me to my feet. “I’ll need your help.” My voice is strong, surer than I feel.

“Of course.” His eyes search my face, and for a second I wonder if he’s suspicious.

I step closer to him, deliberately brushing my breast against his arm. I lower my eyelids and look up at him from beneath my lashes, attempting a look I’ve seen Haley perform countless times. “I’ll need you.”

The firepit beside us sparks and flares with blue flame, warming my skin from the outside even though my blood runs cold.

Austin’s eyes ignite, in unison with the fire. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to that.”

I force myself to lean in closer, bringing my hand to the back of his head, running my fingers through his hair. I tilt my head up toward him, licking my lips. A muscle in his neck spasms in response. I feel an unexpected surge of power. Not magic; something baser, human. I turn my head, just enough so my breath warms his throat. My lips brush against his ear. “Do you still want to take me home?”

His breathing is loud. Hard. His arms come around me, pulling me against him. “What do you think?”

I let my forehead fall against his shoulder as I gather strength. When I look up, I manage a smile. “What are you waiting for?”

“Indeed.” His smile sends an icy shiver down my spine. I’m playing with a time bomb. I hope I’ll know when to cut the wires. I hope I’ll cut the right ones.

He slides his arm around me and starts to walk, heading in the direction of the parking lot. I stop, shaking my head. I curl into him, press into his side. “It’s too far. Let’s go to your real home.”

He hesitates. I place my lips against his neck, grazing my teeth on the sensitive skin where his pulse beats. He moans and grabs the back of my head, pulling me closer.

When our eyes meet, I know I’m winning this battle. He shakes his head, but he turns around. He leads me to the crevice in the cliff wall and pulls me inside.

Everything is still. There’s no breeze. No life. Just the rocks and the river and the stark waterfalls in the distance. I hear my own breath coming fast, fear finally catching up with my recklessness. My theory might not be correct. It’s not like I have the best track record or anything.

My heart beats faster as he leads me to the flat boulder and pulls me into his lap. I stop him before he kisses me. He tenses, and I know I’ve made a mistake.

I bring my finger to his lips and then trace the line of his jaw. “Wait,” I whisper. “Don’t rush this. I want to remember every second.” I lean forward and kiss the spot where his collarbone peeks out from his shirt. I feel him relax, melt, beneath my touch.

I’m running out of time. We’re here. I have to finish it.

I kiss my way up his neck, whispering against his skin. “Bane of all that is true.” A swirl of cold wind blows around us, which I take as a good sign for once. “Come out of the weeds.” I scratch my nails along his back, trying to distract him as the wind lifts my hair. “Make your last strike.” The wind picks up, biting and stinging with cold.

Austin tenses again. He lifts his head. “What are you doing?”

I bite down on his neck, harder than is necessary.

He pulls me tighter. I nibble my way to his ear. “Your time on earth is at an end.”

Too late, he realizes I’m up to something. He pushes me off him, standing up. The wind whips around us wildly now. It’s hard to stand. I grab his arm for support.

I fall into him but manage to stay on my feet. It starts to rain, big fat drops that gain in speed and number, slanting sideways in the wind. Austin’s arms close around me.

I have to shout to hear myself over the wind. “A thousand years of otherworldly night! ”

Thunder claps, so loud that the ground shakes beneath us. I nearly lose my balance again, but Austin is holding me to him. “What are you doing?” he screams over the howling wind.

“Ending this badly.”

The sky opens up with a pounding rain. It pours so hard I can barely see Austin, even though he’s right in front of me.

He screams a string of obscenities that I can barely make out between the hammering sheets of rain. A gust of wind blows me back. I fall onto the rocky ground. I can’t see anything in the downpour.

I clamber to my hands and knees and crawl in what I hope is the general direction of the cliff wall. I manage a few steps against the wind and rain. My hand finds empty air in front of me, and I realize I’ve gone the opposite direction. I’m at the edge of the ravine. I try to back up a step, but my foot hits something hard. I spin around.

He stands above me, a ring of golden light surrounding him, fighting back the rain. “What did you do?” His eyes are full of fury.

There’s nowhere for me to go. He’s blocking the path to the cliff wall. His face contorts as he repeats, “WHAT DID YOU DO?”

I look into his eyes. The eyes of a god. A very angry god. I rise from my knees, standing to face him. The rain falls more lightly than before, but it hardly matters; I’m soaked through.

“Nothing you haven’t seen before.” I say. I still have to shout over the wind. “The world will just have to manage another thousand or so years without you.”

“How … ?” He closes the distance, and I can’t help but back up a step. I feel a rock slip beneath my heel and fall into the ravine behind me.

I smile up at him. “Magic.”

“Bloody fool.” It’s unclear if he’s referring to himself or me.

There’s a rumbling noise. The ground shifts, sending me back to my knees. A huge rock falls from the cliff wall and rolls toward us. I dive to the side to avoid getting swept up in its path.

The river churns below us. It seems to pick up speed on its winding course to the depths of the underworld. More rocks fall from the sides of the walls lining the canyon. The entire place feels like it’s about to come down.

Oh hell. It is. I can see the cliff wall now that the rain has let up. More rocks, big and small, are coming loose, collapsing in on themselves. A large boulder lands directly in front of the crevice. Sealing us in.

I rise to my feet again. Austin still stands in my path, a pillar of strength, oblivious to the ruin that’s falling around him.

“Are you going to let me through?” I ask.

He still doesn’t move.

“If you don’t let me go, who’s going to fight your war for you?”

His voice is tired. “You’re not going to fight them. If you wanted to fight, you wouldn’t need to trap me here, would you?”

I look back over my shoulder. The river is rising, devouring the ravine from the inside.

His hand finds my chin, turning my head back toward him. “You still owe me a favor.”

“Blake’s dead. Isn’t that enough for you?” Another loud clap of thunder booms overhead.

The earth shakes.

Austin grabs me by the arms, holding me against his chest. “You owe me this.” He leans in close, his mouth at my ear. “Stay alive, Brianna. Whatever it takes.” He pushes me with such force that my feet come off the ground.

At first I feel like I’m flying, sailing through the air, floating in the wind. But I’m not flying, I’m falling, down into the ravine. The churning water gets closer and closer. I barely hear the sound of my body smacking against the water before the waves close around me and the river swallows me whole.