I miss you.
“Ugh…stop reading this.”
I miss you.
“I’m totally going to delete this.”
I miss you.
“Tomorrow. Tomorrow, I am definitely going to delete this.”
The reality was that she knew she was never going to do it. She was a glutton for punishment and reading Drew’s texts was her current form of torturing herself.
“I should really get a hobby.”
Reading had been her hobby, but somewhere along the way in her haphazard packing that last day, she lost her Kindle. There were plenty of paperback books in her living room, but she was really more of an e-reader girl when she was reading for pleasure. With no other choice, she grabbed her laptop and bought a new Kindle through Amazon. Once the sale was complete, she slammed the computer shut and sighed.
She’d been home for two days and life was fairly uneventful.
In other words, boring. She was bored out of her mind.
Unwilling to deal with the fallout from her argument with Bianca, Chelsea had simply avoided reaching out to Kendall and Shauna, and considering she hadn’t heard from them either, she knew she made the right choice.
But it still made her sad.
She also hadn’t heard any more from Drew since his last text when he told her how he’d told Jimmy off. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, she was proud of him. It seemed they both had crappy best friends, and as much as she hated to think that she was the cause of him and Jimmy fighting, part of her felt like they deserved to suffer a bit too.
Misery loves company and all that crap.
And as much as she wasn’t looking for a new best friend or anything–sort of a BFF embargo–Chelsea knew she couldn’t stay holed up in her house forever. Eventually, she was going to have to go out for something other than work and start socializing with new people.
“I’m exhausted just thinking about it,” she groaned, leaning back on her couch.
Although, she was working at the clinic for the next four days–even took the dreaded Saturday shift that so many therapists tried to avoid in their urgent care office. It was better than staying home alone, and it would make up for some of the time she lost while on the road with Drew.
Eventually, she would stop beating herself up over her bad decision. It had to get better. Maybe in time, she wouldn’t look back on it and feel like kicking her own ass for being so damn stupid–and not just with trying to stop Bianca from getting married, but for falling for a guy like Drew.
Drew…
And maybe her heart would stop aching at the thought of him.
“I am such a cliché.” Forcing herself up off the couch, she walked to her bedroom and got ready for work. Today she was pulling the 12-8 shift and then the next three days were twelve-hour shifts. She was hopeful that the mental and physical exhaustion would help her sleep because so far nothing else worked.
“It will get better,” she told herself.
And kept telling herself for the next week.
By the following Friday, she was just about dead on her feet when she walked through the door. There had been a package on her front porch and her stomach clenched when she saw that it was from Drew.
Tossing her purse on the entryway table, she studied his messy handwriting as she kicked off her shoes. From the size of the envelope, she had a feeling it was her Kindle.
Although why it took him over a week to send it to her was still a mystery.
Sitting down on the couch, she opened the bubble mailer and pulled out her tablet. A sheet of folded paper fell to the floor and for a moment, she contemplated ignoring it. It was obvious it was a message from him and she wasn’t sure she could handle reading it.
Sadly, she was incredibly curious and immediately picked it up. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths before she allowed herself to start reading.
Chelsea,
Hey. So I found your Kindle in the room Monday night while I was ordering dinner. I had meant to get it back to you sooner, but…I started reading one of the books and couldn’t stop.
“What?!” she cried. “Seriously? Get your own Kindle, you jerk!”
I’m sure you’re pissed off right now because I held on to it for so long, but between the long drive home–which took me almost 15 hours because of an accident on the Jersey Turnpike–and getting back to work, I didn’t have a lot of free time to finish. And I really needed to read the book in its entirety.
“Again, buy your own copy!”
I have to admit, I saw a lot of similarities between the characters in the book and us. Did you when you read it? Or am I crazy? I’m sure you’d just say I’m crazy because you want to disagree with me and that’s okay. I really miss our disagreements. Hell, I just miss talking to you.
“Dammit, I am not going to cry.”
Anyway, I’m sorry I kept this for so long, but thanks for introducing me to a whole genre of fiction I never would have picked up on my own. I saw there’s another book in the series coming up and I can’t wait to read it. Maybe by the time it comes out, you won’t hate me so much and we can have a little two-person book club and talk about it.
“It’s not the worst idea in the world,” she said, fighting a smile.
Take care of yourself, Chelsea. I really hope you’re doing okay and if you ever want to talk and give me another chance, I’m here. I miss you.
Love, Drew
It was stupid how her heart skipped a beat at the word love, but…that didn’t mean anything, right? The word love, not the heartbeat skipping. That could lead to some serious cardiac issues, but…
“Oh, my God! Stop thinking like such a damn dork!”
But she did make a mental note to maybe make an appointment with a cardiologist.
“This is why I currently have zero friends and no boyfriend.” With a snort of disgust, she tossed Drew’s note onto her coffee table and stood. Before the whole wedding debacle, she would be getting ready to go meet everyone at O’Dwyer’s. Now she had nothing to do but make a sad dinner for one and watch some TV.
“No such thing as Netflix and chill for one.”
Then she realized there was and it wasn’t something she was going to do.
Like ever.
Okay, that was a little extreme and it wasn’t like she didn’t believe in some self-love, but…not with Netflix on in the background. With a little more moaning, she went to the kitchen to see what there was to cook. After several minutes and nothing inspiring hitting her, she opted to be a little frivolous and order takeout.
“You’re saving money by not having a social life. Might as well splurge on Chinese food.” Walking back to the living room, she picked up her phone, pulled up the GrubHub app and placed her order. With nothing else to do, she sat down and picked up Drew’s letter again.
If you ever want to talk and give me another chance, I’m here. I miss you.
Sighing loudly, Chelsea considered her options.
For starters, she should let him know she got her Kindle back. Chances were, he was hoping for at least a confirmation of that. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for her to send him a simple text just letting him know…what…that the U.S. Postal service did its job?
Okay, maybe not exactly that, but…just to thank him for getting it to her.
She put the letter down and picked up her phone and stared at it.
“It’s just a text,” she murmured. “Not a marriage proposal. It’s not a big deal.”
And yet, her fingers never moved.
Ugh…why was this so hard? This wasn’t anything personal; it was just an act of common courtesy. It was no different than writing a thank you note except instead of mailing it, she was sending it via text. No big whoop.
Easy peasy.
It wasn’t like she was sending him naked pictures of herself or attempting to sext with him. Looking down at herself in her plain khakis and navy polo shirt, she frowned.
Definitely not sexting attire.
And that was before anyone got to the plain cotton underwear she had on underneath.
“Okay, stop focusing on your lame underwear and put your attention on sending this stupid text!”
Still, she stared hard at her phone.
It took a solid five minutes where she battled internally between fear and loathing before she finally swiped the screen and brought up Drew’s last text.
I miss you.
Chelsea: Hey. Just got home and got the Kindle. Thanks for getting it back to me. I had just ordered a new one. So…thanks.
She hit send before she could second-guess herself but then…she second-guessed herself.
Did that sound too sarcastic? Was I being snarky because he held on to it for so long that I had to go buy a new one?
“I am seriously the most awkward human being ever.”
Her phone dinged with an incoming text and she was so startled that she dropped her phone.
“Smooth, Chels. Real smooth.”
Even though she knew it had to be Drew, it took her a minute to confirm it.
Drew: Damn. Now I’m sorry I didn’t get it back to you sooner. I’ll reimburse you for the cost of the new one.
Chelsea: That’s really not necessary. It wasn’t that much money and it’s always good to have a spare.
Drew: Seriously? Why would anyone need a spare Kindle?
Chelsea: Why? Because they don’t exactly last forever. I read a lot and there’s a ton of books on there already.
Drew: Well, there were definitely more than I would have imagined, but I wouldn’t say a ton. More than I’ve ever read, that’s for sure.
Chelsea: And you opted to go with a rom-com?
Drew: That’s totally your fault. I probably would have gotten the Kindle back to you the day I got home, but you piqued my interest with that story so I had to read for myself how it ended.
Was it wrong how much she was enjoying this? The banter? The easy back and forth? She could hear his voice in her head and it was oddly comforting.
Chelsea: Were you surprised? All romances have a happy ending.
Chelsea: I mean, in books. All romance books have a happy ending.
Drew: Yeah, it wasn’t that I thought I was going to be surprised. I was just curious how they got there.
Chelsea: Ah. Gotcha.
He didn’t respond right away and she figured they were done with the conversation. She had thanked him, they made small talk, and now they were done.
Drew: What are you doing right now? Can I call you?
Or maybe not quite done.
Her heart rate kicked up, and she knew it shouldn’t be a big deal for him to call, but…it was. Texting was safe. She had control and no one had to know that she was a hot mess right now. Drew knew her better than she ever realized. He’d be able to hear it in her voice that she wasn’t comfortable and having extreme anxiety.
Drew: I’m guessing you don’t want that.
Chelsea: Why do you say that?
Ugh…why would you even ask that, dummy?
Drew: Because you’re stalling and you didn’t respond right away.
Chelsea: Oh.
Drew: I almost didn’t ask but…I wanted to be honest with you. I’d love to hear your voice and know that you’re doing okay.
Chelsea: I’m okay. Really.
Liar.
Drew: I’d still love to talk to you, but I understand.
Oh, God. How could she possibly explain that she was too embarrassed and horrified at her behavior to talk to him or even face him? She knew he’d tell her she was crazy and that everything was fine, but…it wasn’t. As much as she regretted not thinking things through with going after Bianca and Jimmy, she knew she’d get over it.
She was practically over it already.
But the way she had fallen into bed with him and in love? Um, yeah. That was going to take a whole lot longer to recover from.
Especially since he clearly didn’t feel the same way.
How do you know?
Well, for starters, he didn’t make any effort to come after her when she left him at the resort. He hadn’t come to see her when he got home and…dammit, she just knew!
Drew: Chels? You still there?
Chelsea: Yeah. Sorry. I wasn’t sure what to say.
Drew: Believe it or not, I don’t know what to say either. At least not via text. Can we maybe meet for coffee sometime? I swear I don’t want to pressure you, but we went through a lot on that trip and I hate the way it ended.
Chelsea: The trip or us?
She hadn’t meant to hit send, but it was out before she could stop it. Then she held her breath as the little dots danced on the screen.
Drew: Both.
Tears stung her eyes and Chelsea was glad she was alone.
Chelsea: Me too.
Drew: Then don’t let that be the end! I know we can’t do anything about the trip, but we were over before we even had a chance to start.
Chelsea: It’s not that easy, Drew.
Drew: I know and I swear I’m not making light of it and I know I said I don’t want to pressure you, but I think we owe it to ourselves to at least talk face-to-face. Please, Chels.
Her doorbell rang and she was never so thankful for a disruption.
Literally saved by the bell.
Standing, she put her phone down and went to answer the door and get her food. With a smile and a murmured thank you, she accepted the bag and closed the door.
And stared at the phone like it was a ticking time bomb.
Placing her food on the coffee table, she calmly went and grabbed a plate and silverware along with something to drink. When she sat back down on the couch, she knew she needed to answer Drew.
Even though it was with something he didn’t want to hear.
Chelsea: I can’t, Drew. Not yet. I’m sorry.
Chelsea: I need to go. I’ve got plans and have to get ready. Take care.
She turned off her phone and tossed it to the other end of the couch and forced herself to eat when all she wanted to do was cry.
“Dude, what is going on with you? I mean, for crying out loud, you look like you’re at a funeral instead of a bar!”
It wasn’t the first time Jimmy had asked that question in the last several weeks, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. Honestly, Drew couldn’t figure out why this thing with Chelsea was bugging him so much. It was clear she wasn’t interested in seeing him or even trying to figure out if what they had that weekend could have been more.
Even though he knew it could.
And that’s why he was still in a funk.
It wasn’t a weekend fling; they weren’t screwing around. What he felt for her was deeper than that, and no one was more surprised than him about it.
Over the last two weeks he had reminded himself more than once that they only had three days alone together. Three! He shouldn’t feel this way after what was essentially a long weekend. But the logical side of him was quick to counter with the fact that they’d known each other for a year.
A year of verbal foreplay.
If any other woman had rejected him so blatantly, Drew was quick to move on. But…he knew Chelsea was in protective mode. And how did he know? Because she was still responding to his texts.
Beside him, Jimmy sighed loudly. “I’m going to shoot some darts. You coming?”
“In a minute,” he murmured, looking around as if he expected her to walk through the door of O’Dwyer’s like she had almost every Friday night for a year.
“Whatever. I’m getting a board.”
Once he was gone, Drew walked over to the far corner of the bar and pulled out his phone, and before he could change his mind, he pulled up the ongoing conversation with Chelsea.
Drew: Hey. You around?
Please say yes. Please say yes.
After a minute, she responded.
Chelsea: Yeah. Working late tonight. Between clients and grabbing a quick cup of yogurt. What’s up?
It would be totally expected for him to jump right into asking her out or trying to get her to meet up with him, so he decided to kill some time first.
Drew: Yogurt? Ew…
Chelsea: What’s wrong with yogurt?
Drew: It’s gross
Chelsea: No it’s not!
Drew: It is! It’s like sour white goo. Gross.
Chelsea: That is not even a little bit true. This is Greek yogurt and it has blueberries. It’s yummy.
Drew: Not a fan of blueberries either. That’s not your dinner, is it?
Chelsea: It’s the snack that’s holding me over until dinner.
Drew: When are you out of there?
Chelsea: 8:30
Drew: Seriously? I didn’t think clinics were open that late
Chelsea: Normally we’re not, but it was a special request so I volunteered
Well damn. She probably did it to have something to do on a Friday night since she wasn’t here.
Looking up, he glanced around the bar and saw all the usual members of their group–Kendall, Shauna, Alex, Jimmy, and Bianca…yeah, they were all here.
Maybe it was time he got Chelsea up to date on that situation.
Drew: So Jimmy and Bianca didn’t get married
Chelsea: ???
Drew: Apparently all the things we said to them made them both stop and think
Chelsea: So they broke up?
Drew: No
Chelsea: Oh.
Drew: It’s a whole big thing. Can I call you later when you get home?
Chelsea: We’ve been over this…
Drew: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you don’t think it’s a good idea
Chelsea: Exactly
Drew: And yet you’re still talking to me
No response.
One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi…
Drew: Aren’t you the least bit curious about what’s going on?
Chelsea: Okay, maybe a little
Drew: What time are you going to be home?
A smile was tugging at his lips because he knew she was trying to find a way to get out of it, but her curiosity was getting the better of her.
Chelsea: After nine
Chelsea: Probably closer to 9:30. I plan on grabbing some takeout on the way home
He wanted to offer to pick some up for her and meet her at her place, but for now, he was happy that she was going to talk to him.
Drew: Great! I’ll talk to you at 9:30
Chelsea: K. Gotta go. Client should be here any minute.
Drew: Talk to you later
She didn’t reply and it didn’t matter.
Feeling better than he had in weeks, he pushed his beer aside and went back to where Jimmy was waiting to shoot some darts with him. It would be a great way to kill the next hour before he left because there was no way he was going to call Chelsea from the bar. He was going to be home and sitting on his own couch with no distractions.
She was enough of a distraction.
And maybe, just maybe, they could put all this crap behind them and start over.
Or just…start.