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Dex walked into the Sunshine Diner and glanced around. He recognized Sam in a booth, tucked away at the back. In his early fifties now, he still had the look, the aura of an operator. Dex spotted the sports page in front of him, highlighting last night’s Dodgers ball game as he reached the booth. Sam stood.
“Lieutenant Commander Dawson, thank you for meeting me.”
“Sir.” He shook Sam’s outstretched hand. “Dodgers not doing so well this season.”
Sam signaled the server and ordered coffee for them both. “It’s early yet. You a fan?”
Dex shook his head. “Padres all the way.”
“Ouch, perhaps this isn’t such a good idea then.” Sam grinned though, as the server brought their coffee.
“Commander, I’ll get straight to the point. I heard about what you did. Pretty impressive, undertaking that rescue, getting in and out undetected. Finding Lieutenant Kimber so quickly.”
“Er, thank you?” How did he know? He thought Sam was with an agency now.
Sam waved his hand dismissively. “You’re wondering how I know?”
“Yes, sir, I am. I thought you’d retired. Rumor has it you’re with an agency.”
“Mmmm, I’ve heard those rumors.”
“So, you’re not with an agency?”
“I was briefly. NSA. I came back.”
Dex blinked in surprise.
Sam paused for a sip of coffee. “I’ve been following your career. Your father was a great SEAL operator and commander, and clearly it runs in the family.”
For once, Dex was speechless. The Sam Harrison following him. It sure as hell gave him a little ego boost, something he sorely needed right about now.
“Thank you, sir.”
“However, I do not condone disobeying orders.”
Ah shit. So, this was something to do with his hearing. He took a sip of his own coffee, and a lightbulb went off in his head. Sam must have seen it.
“I wondered how long it would take you to put the pieces together.” Sam leaned back in the booth, folding his arms across his chest.
“Holy shit! You wrote that statement.” Dex lowered his voice. “You’re the commander of the black ops team.” He put down his cup, at the same time realizing he’d sworn at a captain. “Sorry for my language, Captain.”
Sam laughed. “Forget it.”
“Well, thank you for what you said. It made an impression on the board.”
“I didn’t do it to get you off the hook, because you did disobey and should be punished.”
“Yes, sir.”
“But I did want to reiterate to the board that you didn’t just jump out of the air on a whim. That your plan was sound and that should be considered when deciding punishment.”
“I appreciate that.”
Sam motioned to the server, who came and topped up their coffee.
“So, as I mentioned, I’ve been following your career for a while. Not the first time you’ve disobeyed or crossed a line.”
“No, sir. It’s not.” Dex answered honestly. This conversation baffled him. What the hell was he doing here?
“You don’t sound very remorseful.”
“As I said to the board, my violations occurred because I believed I was making the right decision in the moment, and I still do. I didn’t take those actions lightly. They weren’t ego-based, and I knew I would pay a price. But sometimes the price is worth it.”
Sam was quiet for a minute, drinking his coffee. Dex waited, wondering if he’d said too much. Sitting here was a little surreal. The smell of fried bacon wafted around them. Servers called out orders, a baby was crying, and here he was, having coffee with Captain Sam Harrison. The commander of some super-secret team that had saved Alpha team’s asses.
“Alright. Let me explain why I asked you to meet me here.” This time Sam lowered his voice. “I don’t think I need to remind you about confidentiality. What I say here is classified. Understood?”
“Understood, sir.”
“The black ops program I run has been operating for a year. I was asked back to head it up. We work closely with all the agencies to bring down the bad guys worldwide. We are the team that does not exist.”
Fuck, there were always rumors of off-book black ops teams... but one that operated worldwide? That was news to him.
“Sounds like a great position for you, considering your history.”
“Yeah, it is. We have more flexibility than other military special op units in how we handle things, but with that comes more risk. The ops we do, the team gets in trouble, the government will deny any knowledge of the op or the team. No other team will be coming in to get my boys out.”
“Quite the challenge, and it looks like you’re enjoying it.”
“It’s working out well. Which brings me to why I’m here. I have one team in place, it’s time for another. I want you to lead the second team.”
Whoa, that's not what Dex was expecting to hear. His own black ops team with Sam Harrison. Holy shit! What an opportunity.
“Wow. I don’t know what to say. I’m honored. Why me? I mean I am in the middle of a hearing.”
“I know. And as I said, I don’t condone disobeying orders, but I can appreciate when you are in the field, or a situation where you can see that there needs to be a change in that order. Putting that aside for a minute, you remind me of me. I need the best. That’s you. I need a leader that is willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done. Think outside the box a little, see the bigger picture. You do that.”
“I do. Gets me in trouble though.”
“Right now, yes, because the rules in SEALs are rigid. I know. I’ve been in your shoes. Under my command, I won’t shut you down just because it breaks a rule. What we do, the landscape can change in an instant, so you may well have a better plan in that moment. I always listen to my team leader and if we need to change the order, we will. You only have to convince me. Sound like something you might be interested in?”
Dex hesitated. It sounded fantastic, but leaving Alpha? Before he could answer Sam spoke again.
“Listen. I don’t know what the Navy will decide at your hearing. You might be busted down a rank, or off the team for a while. I don’t see it going to a court martial or formal reprimand. You saved Lieutenant Kimber’s life. From my view, I’m only concerned about your behavior if you decide to come on board with me. Let me be clear. You fuck up with me and it won’t be good for you.” Sam paused as if making sure Dex understood that. He did, loud and clear.
“Sir, it seems a little strange having this conversation in a diner.”
Sam chuckled. “When we set up Onyx – that's our name – I was given a selection of candidates to choose who I wanted. I picked, and they were asked, or more like volun-told. Seeing them in action, some of them were not the right fit. It took a while to get the right team, made more difficult because I had to stick to a list. I have a great team now, but this time I’m not prepared to be confined to a list. This job is too high-stakes and I want my men understanding what is expected of them. You have to want to be here. So, I’m doing my own vetting. Building the next team my way. And before you ask, the hearing won’t be a problem.”
“The type of ops?”
“Whatever is asked. Counterterrorism, human trafficking, cyber-terrorism, drugs, weapons, hostage rescue, hijackings. You could be Middle East, Europe, even stateside. A little different to what you’re used to. You might work alone. You might be called to work with FBI, DEA, CIA. Joint task forces. Being able to go worldwide means we will support our NATO allies if needed too. Being able to operate here on US soil, that’s never been approved before Onyx.”
“But no military support.”
Sam finished his coffee before answering. “There is some. Depends on the situation. POTUS is still your commander in chief. We’re still military. Otherwise, we would be some rogue black ops team with no one to answer to. There has to be some control. But in all other aspects, Onyx is an independent unit. I can, and have, called on agencies and the military for help. Our orders come direct from D.C. In the field, we’re on our own, but that doesn’t mean we can’t ask for help should we need it. There’s just no guarantee we will always get it. As you know we were the team that was meant to rescue Lieutenant Kimber and recover Bravo. We couldn’t ask for military help there, because of the suspected leak.”
“And then I screwed things up for you guys.” Dex smirked.
Sam chuckled. “Yeah, a little. As of now, the op’s on hold. I believe you blew the place up, so finding bodies will take some time.”
“If that’s where they are.”
“Exactly. With Lazir dead or in hiding, NSA need to get more intel first.”
“Yeah, I guess I did screw that bit up pretty good. But damn, I was glad to see that helo.”
“I bet you were.”
Hell, it was a very attractive offer, but could he leave his team? Then again, as Sam said, he might be off the team anyways, at least for a while.
“Look, I don’t expect an answer now. Take some time to think about it. But I can't wait forever. The team I have are being stretched to the limit.”
“Who do you have in mind for the rest of the team?”
“I don’t. If you take the position, we’ll work it out. It doesn’t have to just be Navy. My existing team, I have Marines, SEALs and Army. If you have anyone in mind, I’m open to listening.”
Dex smiled. “It’s a lot to think about. I gotta say I’m still in shock we’re even having this conversation.” And a little in awe.
“I do my homework. What we do means something. You’re serving your country, but without any recognition. Not everyone can handle that. The upside is no long deployments.”
Sam handed Dex a card.
“My personal cell. If you have any questions, feel free to call me. Onyx is based right here on Coronado.”
Dex balked at that. “Here? On the island? How do we not see you guys?”
“Ultimate black ops, Dawson.” Sam grinned.
“The other team? They’ve been in play a year?” He was damn curious who was on that team.
“Yes.” Sam smiled. “No, I’m not telling you who they are. Not until you say yes. The less people that know, the better.”
Sam stood and held out his hand. Dex rose to shake it.
“Give it some thought. I look forward to hearing from you, Commander.”
***
DEX HAD FORGOTTEN HOW much he enjoyed fishing with his old man. It had been way too long since they’d been out together. The afternoon went by fast. Both avoided talking about the elephant in the boat. Instead, they shot the shit about the baseball season, Matt’s recruitment tour, and general idle chit-chat. He’d relaxed a little. Getting away, even for a couple of hours, had been a good idea.
The sun was just starting to go down when they headed back to shore, back to reality. Dex was quiet, lost in thought as he busied himself packing up the fishing reels and starting the engine.
“Anything you want to talk about before we get back to shore, son?”
Dex looked out at the ocean, the rolling deep blue waves, highlighted by the orange glow of the setting sun. So calm and peaceful, unlike his mind. As the boat moved closer to land, a thousand thoughts ran through his head. He undertook the toughest of assignments, the most dangerous, and rarely lost any sleep. But these past few weeks had been hell. The brave face he’d been putting on was slipping. He hated feeling this way. In training they were taught to compartmentalize, put things in a box so they couldn’t affect performance or put your team at risk. Thoughts and emotions got people killed. As team leader, he always remained in control and calm, no matter how much pressure he was under, he had to be. That was the way he liked it.
He looked over at his dad then back at the water. Could he admit this? He warred with himself about admitting his imperfections. “For the first time in a long time, I feel out of my depth,” he admitted finally.
“Because of the hearing?”
He dragged his gaze from the ocean to his father. “Yeah, but more Kelly. I miss her so much.”
The sound of the engine and the gentle lapping of the water echoed in the boat before Matt spoke.
“She’s the one person you always turn to, to discuss things like the hearing with.”
“Yeah, I do. It’s not just that though. I didn’t realize just how much she meant to me. I haven’t handled things well. I was so frustrated and angry that she wouldn’t see me. It hurt. God, when we found her...That image haunts me. I’ve seen some shit, but that, the way she didn’t even realize who I was. I’m still struggling to deal with her not letting me in.”
“That’s understandable. But right now, however much it hurts or however angry you are, Kelly is where she needs to be, getting the help she needs. It’s not personal, Dexter, she wouldn’t even see me. There is nothing you can do for her right now. She knows where you are, and when she’s ready she’ll reach out.”
“I hope so. On the one hand I feel like I pushed too hard, trying to see her, badgering Sophie. Then on the other hand, I don’t feel like I’ve done enough.”
“Dex, this is a unique situation. It’s OK not to have all the answers. One day at a time. You will see her. You will speak to her. Don’t be impatient. She reached out, writing that email. She didn’t have to. Clearly, she cares. But there’s no rule book on how to recover from what she’s been through. Everyone does it differently. Perhaps you should stop searching for answers. They’ll come in their own time.”
Dex steered the boat toward the marina. Pops made a lot of sense. Maybe he needed to take a step back, wait and let her come to him.
Deciding to change the subject, he said, “I had coffee at Sunshine Diner with Sam Harrison today.” He watched for his father’s reaction, but Matt gave nothing away.
“The Sam Harrison? How is he?”
“Do you know him personally?”
“Not really. I know his reputation. He came up quite a few years behind me, our paths crossed a few times.”
“He worked for NSA for a while.” Matt raised his eyebrows to that. He probably wasn’t meant to share that information, but this was Pops.
“I can see that. What was he doing on the island?”
“He wanted to meet with me.”
If Pops was surprised, he didn’t show it.
“Look, I’m probably not meant to tell you this as it’s classified, but I need to talk to someone about it. Obviously, I trust you, but are you OK with me talking to you about our conversation?” With his Pops respect for procedure, it was always better to be honest and ask.
Matt smiled. “If it was a conversation in a diner, it can’t be of too much risk to national security, so yes, I’m OK with you sharing it with me.”
“Sam wrote the statement.”
“Ah, so he’s heading up a black ops team.”
“Yes.” Dex gave him the bullet points of their conversation.
“That’s quite an offer. You’re considering it?” As Dex steered the boat into the dock, Matt stood up and jumped off with the rope in his hand.
“Yes, no. I don’t know.” Dex shrugged. “What do you think?”
“I think, right now, it sounds tempting because you’re worried about tomorrow. But let me ask you something. If Sam had offered you this a few weeks ago, before any of this happened, would you have even considered it?”
Dex stepped onto the dock, securing the second rope. Would he?
“The man’s a legend, and out of respect, I wouldn’t have given him a straight up no. But I get what you're saying. A few weeks ago, life was pretty good, so you’re right, maybe not. I love my team.”
“Regardless of what happens tomorrow, are you ready to walk away from them?”
Was he? That’s the one thing he kept coming back to. That little nagging voice in his head kept telling him Alpha was his family, his home.
He shrugged. “Would you have considered an offer like this?”
His father smiled. “No. But, the world has changed, Dex. I know that. What Sam’s offering is still serving your country. And unfortunately, the post 9/11 world needs teams like this, more than they did when I was your age.”
“You don’t think I would be deserting the boys? Letting them down?”
“Is that what you’re worried about?”
The two men gathered their stuff off the boat, including the cooler with their catch, and headed to Dex’s truck.
“I don’t know. Maybe.” Shit, his head was so screwed up right now, he didn’t know what he thought about anything anymore. His life had been so simple a few weeks ago. A career he loved, commanding a team who were family A woman he loved, who understood what he did. Never complained, accepted what he had to give. And you took that for granted.
His dad spoke, interrupting his line of thinking.
“Listen, son. You could never let me down. We might have our differences, but I will always be proud of you. As for your team, they might be shocked, but if this is what you really want to do, they’ll understand.”
“SEALs was always my dream.”
“And you fulfilled it. You are Navy. You made it through BUD/S, served as a SEAL, and now lead your own team as an officer. A Lieutenant Commander. Nothing can take that away from you. I wouldn’t think any less of you if you decided to go for Sam’s offer.”
“Well, he’s given me some time to think about it. If I get booted off the team, the decision might come easier.” They reached his truck and dumped the cooler in the back.
“That’s not going to happen.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Look, if you take Sam’s offer, just make sure you do it for the right reasons. You have a lot going on right now. The hearing. Kelly. Don’t rush it and if you want to talk again, I’m right here.”
Pops was right. As always.
“Now, how about we go and cook up this fish?” Matt slammed the tailgate shut and headed to the passenger side.
Dex got behind the wheel and started the engine. “Thanks, Pops. I needed this today.”