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“Noooooo!” The leer in his eyes terrified her. Fight, damn it, fight! Her arms weakly pulled against the restraints above her head. The filthy mattress was stained with blood, urine, and the stench of it filled her nostrils. He stood before her, stroking himself and... A voice echoed in her head.
“Kelly, wake up. Come on baby, wake up.”
Her eyes flew open, and she bolted upright, gasping for breath.
“Hey.” Dex’s voice was gentle.
Unable to speak, she covered her face with her hands, her heart pounding so hard it hurt. A film of sweat covered her skin, her breathing heavy. God, she was shaking, couldn’t stop. The bed dipped beside her, and strong arms circled her waist pulling her back to lean against a hard chest. She didn’t resist.
“It’s OK. Deep breaths. You’re safe,” he whispered in her ear.
Just feeling the strength of him around her made her feel protected. Slowly her heart rate began to return to normal, and she closed her eyes, allowing herself to enjoy the safety. Of Dex.
“Feeling better?” The warm breath on her neck made her skin tingle despite the nightmare waking her.
“A little.” Her panic subsided, replaced by an unmistakable heat spreading through her. It both surprised and pleased her. She placed her arms over his, wanting to feel more of him and he squeezed even tighter. The thought of being this close to a man should have petrified her, but with Dex somehow it was different. She felt secure.
“I’m sorry. Did I wake you?” she whispered.
“You have nothing to apologize for. And no, you didn’t wake me. I’m glad you’re here. I hate to think of you dealing with these on your own,” he said softly.
“I’m glad I’m here too.” She was. Right now, there was nowhere else she wanted to be.
He kissed the top of her head, and she melted a little more.
“Does it hurt?” She traced a finger over his bandaged arm.
“Not really, just a little tender. Flesh wound.”
“What happened?”
“Didn’t duck quick enough,” His voice held a hint of amusement.
“Not funny.”
He kissed the top of her head again.
Butterflies fluttered in her stomach, drifting down between her legs. God, she wanted to feel desirable. She needed to know it was possible. That she wasn’t completely dead inside. Yes, she was petrified to try, but giving in to fear meant Lazir won. That the bastard had ruined her for life, and she wasn’t prepared to let him have that victory. Twisting slightly, she raised her head to look at Dex. He smiled down at her with that smile. This gorgeous, kind, wonderful man would never hurt her.
She loved him so much. Her fingers traced down his cheek, over the sexy stubble, to his lips. He didn’t move, his eyes locking on hers. The dark desire she saw sent a ripple of need down her body. Her nipples were hard, pressing against her shirt, desperate for attention. Still, he didn’t move, happy to let her explore him. Her fingers roamed lazily down to his chest, outlining each defined muscle. She didn’t just want him, she needed him. Lifting up, she stopped, her mouth just an inch from his. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too.”
Before she changed her mind, she kissed him. He held very still, a sign he was uncertain. Kissing him again, she increased the pressure, using her tongue to trace his lips, urging him to open. With a groan, his lips parted, and his tongue met hers.
***
DEX CUPPED HER FACE and stroked his thumbs across her cheeks. Fuck, he was already so hard, and he’d barely touched her. She was driving him crazy. It had been so fucking long and he wanted her badly.
He growled, pulling his mouth away. “Kelly, you’re killing me here.”
Those gorgeous brown eyes stared into his. “Make love to me.”
Fuck, not what he’d been expecting, even though it was what he wanted. But this was too fast, wasn't it? His cock was screaming at him to take her. And the way she was looking at him, like he could fix it all.
“Please, Dex. Don’t make me beg. I need this. I need you. I need to feel... normal.”
How the hell could he refuse? Pulling her on to his lap, his hands gripped her ass.
“Baby, I want to, believe me. But this is pretty sudden? I don’t want to rush it.”
“I love you, and I want to feel the way you used to make me feel. Please don’t turn me down.”
Awe, baby. God, she had him. Already lost in her eyes, those shimmering big brown eyes broke through all his defenses. He wanted to be the man to take away her pain, to protect her. The primal male in him rose to the surface.
“You have to promise me that if you need me to stop, you’ll tell me.” He sure as hell didn’t want to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with.
“I promise.” It was barely more than a whisper.
Whatever happened after this, he’d just have to deal with it. He couldn’t walk away now, even if he wanted to. It would kill her.
He lowered his mouth and kissed her gently, tracing her lips with his tongue. His heart raced. Their bodies crushed against each other. She gasped when he trailed soft kisses down the side of her neck and over her throat. Damn. Her skin was so soft, her taste, her smell so familiar, so right. Somewhere in his head, his conscience told him to take this slow, but his cock had other ideas. He was so damn hard, it hurt. Fuck. Refocusing, he grabbed the bottom of her shirt and slowly lifted it. Her body stiffened and he stopped, watching her closely.
“It’s just that... I’m not the same. There’s—”
He cut her off, letting go of the shirt and gathering her tighter against him. The scars... She was worried about him seeing her scars.
“You are the same gorgeous, sensual woman you’ve always been.” He kissed the top of her head. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes.” she whispered without any hesitation.
“Then let me show you how beautiful you are.” He loosened his grip to look at her. She nodded and he brushed his lips softly against hers. Slowing the pace right down, he listened to his conscience. Her hands gripped his and guided them back down to the hem of her shirt. He raised it, breaking the kiss just long enough to pull it over her head. Shifting his weight, he laid her back on the bed, his body covering hers. The warmth of her skin sent sparks straight to his groin. Resting his weight on his forearms, he took her mouth in another slow, gentle kiss. Her body arched up against him and her breasts rubbed against his T-shirt. A frustrated sound escaped her.
He sat up quickly, ripping his T-shirt over his head, careful not to dislodge the bandages on his arm. When their mouths met again, the soft mounds of her breasts touched his bare skin. She broke the kiss, letting out a soft moan that made him smile against her cheek. Nuzzling her neck, he breathed in her scent, that womanly, heavenly scent that was all Kelly. All his. He trailed gentle kisses down her neck, down over her chest, and over a small scar. He kissed it gently, suppressing his anger at what she’d endured. He kissed his way to the top of her breasts. The tips reached out to him, begging to be touched. Her little whimpers of impatience pulsated in the room. He didn’t make her wait. Not today.
Taking one soft mound in his mouth, his tongue flicked over the nipple. Kelly groaned out loud and gripped the sheet, hanging on tightly as her body trembled and squirmed beneath his touch. God, he’d missed her. Missed feeling her, hearing her, tasting her. Switching to the other breast, he lavished it with the same attention. He linked his hands with hers, entwining their fingers. He kissed and licked around the perfect brown bud, exploring and rediscovering every inch. As his tongue traced the underside of her breast, he felt the hardened skin of a larger scar. His jaw tightened. Forcing it from his mind, he raised his eyes to look at her as his tongue licked over the scar. This wasn’t the time for anger. Those moist, big brown eyes watched him. The trust she was giving him caused his heart to constrict. Needing to touch her but not wanting to let go of her hands, he raised their entwined fingers above her head, then he put both her hands in one of his, freeing one of his hands to explore.
Immediately he realized something was wrong. Very wrong. Her whole body froze beneath him.
“Kelly, what is it? Talk to me.” She was trying to move away from him. He rolled off and she pulled the sheet up covering herself. The look of sheer panic on her face startling him.
“Kelly, talk to me, sweetheart.”
“It just brought back...” Tears rolled down her cheeks breaking his heart. “My hands were tied above my head... I...”
Oh shit.
“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry.” What a fucking asshole to even think about pinning her hands down. “What can I do? Tell me.”
She shook her head, curling up into a ball.
He’d been scared of screwing up and, fuck, he’d done it royally.
“Kelly, I’m here. You can talk to me.”
She didn’t respond, curling tighter, turning away to face the window.
“Baby, please, let me help you.” The fetal position she was in was exactly how he’d found her in that dirty room, the image flooding his brain.
“Do you want me to go?” He stood and pulled on his clothes. Fuck, he was so far out of his depth here.
“Don’t.” She shook her head, her voice soft. “Don’t leave.”
He didn’t move, unsure what to say or do.
“I don’t want to push you away. I can’t lose you, Dex.” The last words caught on a sob.
Ah hell. He sat on the edge of the bed.
“You’re not going to lose me. I’m right here, not going anywhere.” And he wasn’t. He was hers, even if it scared the hell out of him. "I shouldn’t have held your hands like that. I had no idea.” Guilt was kicking his ass.
“How could you? We haven't exactly talked about it.” She whispered, still curled in a ball, eyes closed.
“Yeah, but I should have known better.”
“I want to be with you so badly. It was so good, but then his face and God, Dex...”
He risked stroking a hand over her hair. “Stop it. No one said it would be easy, right?”
“What if I can’t? What if I never get past it? This is exactly why I pushed you away in the first place.”
“Listen to me.” He held her hand lightly in his own. “However long it takes, I’ll be here. I’ll never give up on you, and I don’t want you to ever think that I would.”
She turned to face him, opening her eyes. He could see them brimming with tears and he wanted to make it all better. Fix it. He took her hands and gently tugged her upright into his arms. She clung to him, tears flowing.
The shrill ring of his cellphone startled them both. Dex glanced at it seeing Sam’s caller ID. Fucking great timing.
“Morning, Sam.”
“Dex, you on your way in?”
He glanced at his watch; it was just after seven. They had agreed yesterday to meet at The Farm for eight.
“Almost. What’s up?”
“We have some information.”
Dex’s face turned grim; his brain suddenly thrust back into reality. “What information?”
“I’ll meet you at the farm.” Sam rang off before he could say anything else.
“Everything OK?” Kelly wiped her eyes, studying him with concern.
“Yeah, but we need to head in. I guess Sam has some news.” He kissed her tenderly on the lips. “Will you be alright? I feel like a fucking asshole.”
She shook her head. “Don’t. Like you said. We knew it wouldn’t be easy.”