Even a dull December day seemed magical when you had an uninterrupted view of the ocean. The white sky was still, the sea grey, with little froths of white on the waves near to the horizon. Even the seagulls seemed to be quieter than usual. The Hartmouth Head car park was completely empty apart from a couple of head-to-toe Lycra adorned cyclists stopping to take a look at the view before setting off on their onward adventures.
Sitting on her thinking bench, Star knew she was in a state of shock. Too much had happened. It had been difficult enough to digest the fact that this little baby growing inside her wasn’t Conor’s but Jack’s, let alone discovering that the priest from Penrigan Catholic Church was her father, and now having to take on board the massive revelation that her dear friend Kara was her big sister by just six months, with Kara’s birthday being on 13 September! No wonder they had got on so well while growing up. ‘Sister from another mister’ indeed – that had always been their mantra; in fact, Star remembered having said it just a few weeks ago when she had been feeling overwhelmed about everything in the cafe.
Star tried to get her head around the thought of the Reverend sleeping with two women – and impregnating them – in such close proximity. He had certainly kept to type. Red-headed Doryty Moon, his first lover, and blonde Estelle Bligh, his second and last, were indeed both feisty characters, forces to be reckoned with, although at that point in her life, Estelle had also been very vulnerable. Matthew had professed love for Estelle, while the feelings he had had towards Doryty appeared to be lust, plain and simple. Weirdly, Star could understand. It was no different to her with Jack and Conor. She had feelings for both of them, but those for Jack far outweighed those she had for the big Irishman. Love and lust were very different bedfellows.
Star looked far out to sea. Despite the cold wind whipping up around the cliffs now, she didn’t feel the chill, was warmed by at long last knowing who her father was, which helped her in turn to know who she was. She didn’t feel sad now that she had never got to know him; she accepted that he was a man of the cloth and, despite his shortcomings in his twenties, there must have been a whole lot of good in him, and for that she could be eternally grateful. Maybe she should go to a service at the church and see if anything was said about him. In fact, if it wasn’t too late, maybe she could go to his funeral! Should she tell Auntie Flo? Flo wasn’t a gossip so there would be no harm. That’s if she believed it at all, of course. Star thought of how her aunt had mentioned his passing just the other day and had spoken so highly of him!
Grief suddenly stabbed through her. Poor Estelle, no wonder an air of melancholy had stayed within her all this time. She had made a sacrifice, let go of the man she loved for his greater good, putting her own happiness aside, and what’s more had stayed true to her word that she would never tell anyone what had happened between them. In a bittersweet way, this made Star feel safe inside, now she understood what had happened. And proud of her mother, who had been so strong! It also made her realise again just how hard it was, to find true and lasting love.
Star’s thoughts then turned to Kara. The revelation that the Reverend Matthew Nesbitt was Kara’s real father would lead to all kinds of repercussions. She had asked the solicitor if there were any other letters that he was giving out, including ones to Kerensa Anne Moon, but of course he was unable to disclose that to her. She didn’t go on to share with him any of the contents of her own letters, especially not how she’d just found out that Kara was her half-sister, in case word somehow leaked out to her friend before she heard it from the horse’s mouth.
But what if Kara was never told? Star asked herself. Would the responsibility fall on her to reveal this devastating truth? She knew that not only would it destroy Kara, but it would also destroy the wonderful Joe Moon. His relationship with his younger daughter was so important to him. Their bond had become even closer following the trauma of Doryty leaving them for her new lover in Spain. Star had been envious of that bond all her life, especially whilst growing up. Ironically, it now emerged that in fact, the two girls shared the same father!
Whatever the Reverend Matthew Nesbitt had, one thing was the ability to make sure that his secrets were kept safe. Star looked up at the sky and called to her angels. The universe would do right by her, she was sure. She also truly believed that the Reverend Nesbitt would do right according to his faith – that he would let Kara know the truth that she too was his daughter. It would be wrong to give the incendiary knowledge that Kara had a sibling to Star alone, and expect her to keep it all to herself.
The stars were already aligning for at long last she knew what she had wanted to find out her entire life: the identity of her father. As for Kara and Joe, she could only hope that their love, which was stronger than the tides that had taken poor old Diggory Pickett away to his death, would overcome such a shocking revelation.
Poor Estelle. Love was so weird! Why couldn’t it just be directed at the most suitable candidate? Why could you not choose who you fell in love with? It would be a whole lot easier to make sure that the course of true love did run smooth if that beating organ within didn’t just run riot and do its own thing. Or was it doing its own thing? Did the heart actually know more than the human brain? Were its matchmaking skills to be reckoned with? Her gut had always been right in the past, so why not her heart too?
Star was filled by a sense of enlightenment and energy. Maybe for the first time in her life she should stop being fearful of rejection? Maybe for the first time in her life she should listen to her heart and act without fear! Estelle had been prevented from expressing her feelings: because the man she loved had already given his heart to God, so she really had no chance. The thought that her mother had been faced with that huge obstacle to love and happiness made Star’s own obstacle of a huge ocean and an abusive out-of-work actress seem far, far less daunting.
Maybe her father’s last message from the grave was the only one she had ever really needed. Love had indeed blindsided her when it had come so unexpectedly into her life, and she was damned if she was going to watch it go.