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THERE WAS LITTLE PREPARATION for what took place next. The Order of the Eye had a rather strange initiation, and Mimi was part of a circle. The lights were dimmed. The seventeen women stood hand in hand. Noatla took Mimi’s hand to her right and another woman reached out and grabbed her hand on her left.
In chorus, the voices united. “Welcome, our new Sister.”
No lips moved.
One at a time, the sisters introduced themselves.
Immediately to Mimi’s left, a woman said, “I am Darla of the Lowers. Welcome.”
“I am Rachel of the Mids. Welcome.”
“I am Serah of the Runners. Welcome.”
“I am Lucy of the Lowers. Welcome.”
“I am Fatima of the Uppers. Welcome.”
“I am Vala of the Mids. Welcome.”
Mimi was noticing a pattern. All of them seemed to have a place where they were from, even Serah, who likely had the most difficult life. But where would Mimi say she was from? She had her hovel underground, but was underground a place you could call home? Would she even call her little hovel of tied-together cloth a home? She wasn’t so sure.
“I am Rebecca of the Uppers. Welcome.”
“I am Joan of the Lowers. Welcome.”
“I am Shandie of the Lowers. Welcome.”
“I am Kayla of the Mids. Welcome.”
“I am Leahara of the Lowers. Welcome.”
It also occurred to Mimi that so many of them seemed as if they were from the Lowers. Why was that? Mimi realized that she still had no idea why she was able to reach into other people’s minds. Why were any of these women able to do it? Was it some ancient genetic thing? Why weren’t there any men? Was that by design or was it impossible for men to have this particular skill set? She felt the questions burn in her and she was just about to open her mouth to speak, when Noatla squeezed her hand and looked her directly in the eyes. There were no words, but Mimi understood its meaning. Not now.
“I am Rosita of the Lowers. Welcome.”
“I am Lana of the Mids. Welcome.”
“I am Yoshi of the Uppers. Welcome.”
“I am Patricia of the Lowers. Welcome.”
The circle came around and the final voice spoke in her mind. “I am Noatla of the Uppers, standing Matron of the Order of the Eye, and I welcome you, Mimi.”
All eyes were on Mimi. They were waiting for her to speak. But what could she say? She was Mimi from...well...she was from Nowhere. Maybe that was the point. Maybe somehow, being from Nowhere was important. She decided not to shy away from it. She had seen more of this city than most of the others combined. She had traced its underbelly and tasted its corruption.
She shrugged. “And...I am Mimi of the Nowhere.”
Curious looks. A pause. Then, acceptance.
The women spoke as one. “Welcome, Mimi of the Nowhere.”
Noatla spoke, lips still stationary. “What do you ask of us, Mimi of the Nowhere?”
Mimi looked around at the faces of the women. “To...join you?”
Noatla nodded her assent and smiled. “As you wish. Are there any here who would oppose Mimi’s induction into the Sisterhood of the Order of the Eye?”
Silence.
Serah of the Runners departed from the circle, returning only a moment later with some kind of chalice in her hands. They passed the cup. Small sips for each woman’s lips. The cup reached Mimi’s hand.
“What’s in it?”
Noatla smiled. “Your path forward.”
Mimi eyed the cup. “That’s not an answer. I won’t drink it unless you tell me.”
Serah said, “If you want in, you drink.”
Mimi’s head turned towards her, “Then take your cup back.” And she held it out towards Serah.
Noatla intervened. “It’s a mild hallucinogen, Mimi. It won’t hurt you. It is meant only to help guide you toward your role in the Order. It is important for you to begin your first steps among us.”
Mimi had, in fact, tried many kinds of drugs over the years. She hadn’t cared for most, but hallucinogens were usually fairly benign. She considered that each of the other women had taken a small sip and imagined that a small sip probably couldn’t do very much to you. So, she tilted the cup up and took a tiny sip.
Serah spoke, “No, all of it.”
With a stern voice that Mimi would have never expected from her, Noatla said, “Who is Matron here, Serah? Do not speak out of turn again.” She looked at Mimi. Her voice softened. “You must drink the remainder, dear.”
Mimi let her eyes move back and forth across Noatla’s face and then without breaking her gaze, downed the rest of the cup.
Serah walked over and took the cup. She glanced at Mimi. She was all iron eyes.
All the sisters sat, and Mimi followed suit.
A call and response began.
“The eyes come open,” said one sister.
“The sleeper wakes,” said another.
The voices shifted with each call, as if the room was echoing itself. Mimi could not trace the voices as they spoke. They began to blur together.
“The wheel turns,”
“As Above,”
“So Below,”
“As Within,”
“So Without,”
“The Light passes and time squints, allowing the faintest glimmer of wisdom.”
“But Fear is the little death, the one that brings an end to hope,”
“Fearlessness is the key that unlocks all things.”
“You will die.”
“We will all die.”
“Rest in these words.”
“Rest in body,”
“Rest in Mind.”
The word Mind became long and strung out. It echoed and repeated, over and over again, and the light in the room became total whiteness, stealing colors. Blending, abducting, rearranging so that the room was a smokescreen of objects and stole their form and figures. Then there was only white, and then that faded too, until all was transparent and clear but empty and pregnant.
She looked around. There was no she to look. No hands to find, no body to fill the space. Just a watcher. Then she thought of Shannon and Shannon appeared. She was huddled in the corner of a room, crying. This made Mimi think of her mother, of that terrible night. As she thought on this, the body of the man she had stabbed many times appeared on a fragment of floor in the empty space. The blood spread from underneath his corpse.
Anything Mimi thought of appeared and took weight into reality. But she wasn’t sure where or why she was here. She remembered standing in that musty old library, but how did she jump from there to here? She remembered the cup, and she knew she was tripping.
Yet there was something else about this place that warranted examination. If she could think of something and make it appear, could she do that with something from the future as well?
She thought on Shannon, and she appeared, standing before her. Mimi turned her mind to Shannon’s abduction and in the corner of the space, the scene replayed itself over and over. She had a grip on the past. Could she reach into the future? She tried to think of Shannon in the future, but nothing came.
So why was she here, then? If she couldn’t do anything besides look at the past, what value was there to this little ritual?
Momentarily, the scene tinged red. A shadow of red that extended over all. She felt chills and discomfort despite not having a body, but just as the ice seemed to climb firmly up her spine, the red shadow passed on and the light was clear once more.
“Why I am here?” Her words echoed through the space, despite not having vocal cords. She didn’t expect an answer; it was more of something to say to fill the time.
“To become better than you are.” An image of her mother stepped in from nowhere. Her mother, still young and full of life and kindness, stared at her, and Mimi found that she once again had a body, but it was the body of a much younger version of her, one that had just turned 13.
“I don’t understand.”
“The Order found you. Now you have the chance to become something more than you are. No longer do you have to be from nowhere. You can have a home again.”
“Sure, until that home is taken from me all over again.”
“It is true that nothing lasts forever, but the connections we make now have the chance to transform us. When you embrace your sisters, you will become your sisters.”
“What is that, some kind of philosophical bullshit?”
The form that was her mother chuckled. “You always were straight to the point, my Mimi. But I think you will find that the people we choose to love shape us more deeply than we can know. Why do you think it’s so hard when they depart? It is as if the shape that had help craft in us was suddenly and violently plucked out.”
“So what is it you want from me?”
“To remember friendship. To remember community, to remember that even though you may have made some poor choices in the past, every moment of every day is a chance to sew new seeds for a brighter future.”
“Again, more philosophical bullshit. I’ve lived on the streets too long to buy into any of that garbage. You know what changes on the streets? Nothing except the players playing their parts. The streets are always the same, always full of people who will hurt you for a few credits.”
“That is true, to a point. But even in the darkest of places there are always those who shine like lanterns, who bring warmth and love and light to those around them. They are a refuge, a shelter from the storm.”
“Like who?”
“Like the sisters who have opened their world to you. In each of the places they are from, Lowers, Mids, Uppers, or Runners, they bring light to those around them. They do their best to encourage love and justice.”
Mimi considered. “So what, I’m supposed to be a light to the people on the street? A light to the Nowhere?”
“It is one of your options.”
The woman’s form flickered.
“Who are you, really?”
The woman acted as if she didn’t hear Mimi.
“You have many paths you can choose to take now. You can trust your new sisters and walk with them into the future. You could take their knowledge and then abandon them, or you could turn back and go the way you came.”
“Why would I want to stick around these women? What could they possibly do for me?”
“They can love you. They can give you purpose.”
“And if I decide to either take their knowledge and run or go my own way?”
“That direction will lead you to continue your lonely life. Why would you want to continue that? We both know that you wonder why you persist, for what purpose you continue on. You have lived for centuries, and you have little to show for it.”
Mimi felt herself squirm. The woman wasn’t wrong, but she couldn’t imagine trusting an entire group of people. It was hard enough for her to be able to trust one or two people at a time, but sixteen other women? How could she place her life in the hands of so many, when at any moment one might betray you for their own selfish gain.
“So what’s the right answer then?”
“Only you can decide that. Your choices are your own.”
“Who are you?”
“I’m just you, Mimi of the Nowhere. I am just that small, still, inner voice that nags at you. But who I am doesn’t matter. I am what you make me. I am your desires and more than anything, you desire to leave behind Nowhere and find a safe and happy home.”
Mimi didn’t care if she had a safe and happy home, she couldn’t remember the last time she lived in one, but she could remember the endless attacks and muggings. She could remember that before she had fully developed her abilities, how vulnerable she was. How could she leave her back exposed to all these women?
“Why did you drink the cup Mimi?”
Mimi thought about it. Why had she shared that cup in the circle? Why had she chosen to gulp down a liquid knowing there were drugs in it? Didn’t that make her vulnerable to attack? Wasn’t she completely at their mercy?
“You want to trust. You want to love. You want a home. That is why you are here. You want all these things, but you must learn to embrace them. You must learn to unlearn all you have learned in the past. The past is not the present, and if you want it to be, the present is not the future. You decide. You choose. You take your steps forward or back. But ask yourself one question with every step, what will bring you joy and peace?”
And then the woman was gone. The room returned to normal, and she found herself surrounded on all sides by women who were caring for her unconscious form.
“She’s awake.”
“How...how long was I out?”
“Almost a day.”
“Shannon?”
“No word yet.”
There was an offer of quarters by Noatla. Several of the sisters had insisted that Mimi not return to her hovel underneath the streets. But it was where Mimi felt at home. Nowhere was all she knew. Why should it be otherwise?