As the ink-black night closed in all around them Mia clamped her teeth together so they wouldn’t chatter. Staring ahead at the shadowy, seemingly endless moonscape, she almost wished they hadn’t left the glow of El Paso behind them.
“I feel like we’ve walked forever,” Mia said, gasping slightly as she stumbled against a bush that was sharp and prickly.
He ignored her.
“Ouch!” She rubbed her arms. “And I’m still cold from the swim, too.”
When he kept trudging silently onward, she persisted in trying to get his attention. “Stop a second, so I can dig a rock out of my shoe and get this burning thorn out of my ankle.”
“Burning is it?” he asked in a smart-ass tone. But he knelt beside her and asked which ankle. Once told, his hand was warm and firm and very thorough. Before she knew what had happened, he was standing up again with the thorn in his hand. “Okay, no more burning thorns. No more excuses.”
In the dark, his gaze was intense as he loomed tall and handsome above her. Just as she had as a teenager, she found him extremely sexy.
Oh, why can’t I just grow up and tune this attraction out?
“Thank you,” she replied, feeling angry at him suddenly as she knelt to shake the rock out of her shoe. “Where are we anyway?”
“South Texas. The middle of nowhere.”
“I know that already,” she snapped, still mad that she found him attractive.
“Then why’d you ask?”
She stood up and dusted her hands on her skirt. “Sorry to be such a bother.”
“We’ll get along better if you just keep moving.”
Easy for him to say as he surged past her on his long, lean legs, clueless as well as careless of her feelings. Not wanting to be left behind, she quickened her steps. Soon she was panting in an effort to keep up.
They hadn’t gone far when she heard the engine of a car right behind them. In the next moment Shanghai grabbed her hand and yanked her into a ditch hidden by a stand of prickly pear and yucca. Within seconds a pickup truck without headlights lurched past them off-road.
“Friends of yours,” Shanghai said, his tone caustic.
“What?”
“Drug runners. We’re lucky the sharks didn’t run over us in the dark.”
She sucked in a breath. His sudden anger was so unnerving, she fumed silently as she sat beside him for the next twenty minutes before he finally decided it was safe to proceed again. Once they began walking Mia’s sulkiness toward him eased, and she was simply thankful she’d gotten to rest. They passed a bailout car, its doors still ajar from the fateful moment when the Border Patrol had caught up to it and its occupants had fled on foot.
“So many come from so far and fail to make it,” she said in a forlorn tone.
Shanghai didn’t comment, but the car must have served as a warning to him because he picked up his pace again. The desert land was so rocky and eroded, and his strides so lengthy, it was difficult for her to keep up, therefore she had to run every few steps. For half an hour or more they climbed the gradual slope of a big hill at his relentless pace, although he did pause, if impatiently, when twice she begged him to let her rest.
The stops did little good. Soon she was so tired, she felt like she was sleepwalking. Still, Shanghai trudged on with her lagging even farther behind. When they finally reached the crest of the hill, a sliver of moon was visible through the thick clouds. All she could see for miles toward the north was more of the same rugged terrain.
“It looks like pretty empty country,” he said, “but it’s illusory. There’s no telling how many illegal immigrants are furtively walking northward under cover of the night just as we are. Or how many drug runners or terrorists.”
She shivered.
“Or criminals seeking to escape Mexico,” he added, staring at her for a long moment.
“I’m not a criminal.”
Without further comment, he turned and began walking faster again.
“I can’t go any farther,” she finally yelled after him between gulps of air. Then she stopped and dug another rock out of her shoe. “I’m hungry, cold, tired, wet and confused.”
“Shh.” Instead of listening to her, he was peering through a small pair of binoculars into the darkness ahead. Then he slid the binoculars into his back pocket. “You got that rock out of your shoe yet?”
“Can’t we just stay here?”
He turned to her and took her hand in his. “I’m sorry you’re tired. But don’t give up on me now, darlin’. If we get lucky, I don’t think it’ll be too much longer.” Gently he pulled her along, this time at a slower pace.
Soon she was shivering convulsively again. “Where are we going now? Why can’t we just sit down until the sun comes up?”
“Because I have a better idea.”
“What?”
“Over there.” He pointed ahead.
She squinted. “I don’t see anything.”
“Trust me.”
“That’s not so easy.”
His glittering gaze locked on her face. “Tell me about it.”
She looked away, struggling to conceal her feelings.
When they began walking again, the landscape soon broke into endless ripples of eroded gullies that were difficult even for Shanghai, who was wearing boots instead of flimsy shoes to navigate. Another half hour passed before they finally came to the edge of the thick clump of scraggly bushes he’d pointed out to her.
“Good—I thought so. We’ve found a deserted cabin.”
“I don’t see anything but salt cedar.”
“Over there. In the trees. Probably it’s a hunting camp,” he said.
When they got nearer, she made out a flat-roofed structure. The tiny dwelling seemed blacker than the darkness of the desert and equally uninviting. But at least she could stop walking. Then she realized they’d have to spend the night together alone in that tiny cabin.
“I don’t like it,” she said as they got nearer.
“Well, it’s not the Ritz, I’ll give you that. It’s not your clean and tidy bedroom at the Golden Spurs, either. But you’ve been pestering me pretty steady to stop, so you should be happy.”
She was about to make a smart retort, when he put his finger to his lips. Then he pulled his gun out of his waistband. Warning her to hide behind a salt cedar, he snuck up to the cabin and tapped lightly on the door. When nobody answered, he knocked louder. Then he twisted the knob. When the hinges groaned and the door swung open easily, she heard him chuckle. A match flared, and the cabin windows began to glow like faint beacons.
Not wanting to be left alone outside for another second, she raced onto the porch so fast the boards groaned noisily. She stopped before carefully crossing the threshold to join him in the moldy-smelling cabin. For a long time they were both still, listening to the quiet. She, of course, had an ear out for rats, and much to her relief, instead of the scurrying of little feet or squeaky cries, all she heard were her own frightened heartbeats.
A single candle glowed in the center of a small table. In the dim light, she made out a small bed, a couple of old quilts, several folding chairs stacked against the wall, and, of course, the table.
“Home sweet home,” he said, grinning at her.
“Not exactly.”
“Well, I for one hope the three bears don’t come back anytime soon,” Shanghai said. “Because I’m dog-tired.”
“Finally. I thought you were going to walk forever.”
He laughed.
On the table she saw a sheet of white paper beside the candle. Leaning down, she softly read the owner’s brief note aloud, first in Spanish and then in English.
“Welcome. My house is your house. Take what you need. Clean up after yourself. There’s a cattle pond right behind the house if you need water. Just leave things as you find them, and leave the note to welcome my next guest. Jimmy Morgan.”
She replaced the paper.
“Sounds like Jimmy’s real tired of being broken into by illegal immigrants crossing the border,” Shanghai said. He moved across the cabin and kicked several empty tin cans that were piled in a corner. “See, he’s had recent visitors. I see why he just leaves the doors unlocked.”
“I hope we don’t get any company tonight.”
“What? Not in the mood to entertain?”
Two strides carried Shanghai to the crude, built-in cabinets sagging from their nails on the far wall. He opened them and pulled out several cans and pots and pans and a bar of soap.
“Pork and beans? Ravioli? Spaghetti? Fruit cocktail? Soft drinks? What’ll you have tonight, darlin’?”
“We can’t just eat his food.”
“A while back you said you were hungry. Be grateful we don’t have to live off mesquite beans and prickly pear apples. I’m not in much of a mood to shoot and clean a rabbit, either.”
She was studying the narrow bed. It was just big enough for two—if they snuggled up really close.
“How can you think about food?” she whispered, suddenly feeling nervous of him in the dark.
He stared at the bed, too. “You got a better idea?”
Something in his voice made her cheeks heat, and that irritated her. Did he assume she found him so attractive she would be easy to seduce the instant it suited him?
“No. I just didn’t think I should steal his food.”
“I guess that means you’re not going to help me gather wood so I can build a fire and cook it.”
When she didn’t answer, he smiled. “Okay. While I’m gathering the firewood alone, why don’t you see if you can find a can opener?”
Shanghai stomped outside. After she found an opener, she heard branches and twigs snapping outside. Picking up the opener, she carried it and the cans out to him. She also brought cans of soda she’d found. After giving him a can of soda, she began breaking up the limbs he tossed her into kindling-size pieces. As always, doing something with him soon became fun.
In no time they had a fire blazing inside a circle of rocks where other fires had been lit before at a safe distance from the house. He poured the beans she’d opened into one pot, and spaghetti into another.
For a few minutes they sat together watching the orange fire dance as the branches crackled. “You’ve been saying you were cold all night. Move closer so it will warm you,” he said.
She did, and clasping her knees to her chest like a small child, she stared into the flames and found them hypnotic.
“Think you can watch the pots so they don’t scorch on the bottom while I bathe?”
The instant he said he was leaving she felt stricken, but she squared her shoulders and nodded bravely.
“Good girl.” He handed her his gun. “You used to be a crack shot. Shoot first. Ask questions later.”
“Right.” She nodded.
When he left her and went inside again and got soap, a metal bucket, and one of the blankets, she set the gun beside her.
Five minutes later, she heard boots crashing through the scrub behind her. Since she wasn’t expecting him back so fast, she whirled and aimed the gun at the sounds in the darkness.
“It’s only me, darlin’. But I’m glad to see you’re so alert.”
Smiling despite herself because he was back, she lowered the gun. She tried to ignore her pleasure in his company. She tried not to notice how his black hair was damp and slicked back, too. Or how he’d wrapped the blanket around his lean waist and wasn’t wearing anything else.
When he set the bucket in the coals her eyebrows arched questioningly. “What’s that for?”
“Warm water…for you…in case you decide you want to freshen up inside the cabin before or after we eat.”
“Thanks,” she whispered, more touched by his thoughtfulness than she wanted to be.
He walked over to the porch and hung his wet clothes on the porch railing. Something must not have been right because after staring at them, he picked them up, one by one, and started over.
“Trying to hang them so they won’t wrinkle up so bad.”
She laughed.
“I don’t iron too much on the road.”
Leaning forward, she dipped her hands in the lukewarm water and rubbed them together. Then she washed her arms off, too.
“I had a bath…earlier,” she said when she was done.
“I know. You smelled sweet like soap in the waiting room.”
So, he’d noticed something nice about her during that awful visit. She smiled and looked up at him. He was still on the porch fiddling with the way each item of clothing was laid out.
He caught her watching him and stopped dead still. Quickly she looked away. Then her stomach growled, embarrassing her further.
“Sorry,” she said, blushing shyly.
He laughed. “You sound hungry.”
She nodded. “Ravenous.” For some reason she was unable to take her eyes off him.
“Me, too.”
He returned to her side, and they spoon-fed themselves steaming spaghetti and spicy beans out of the pots without bothering with the tin plates she’d seen. Once when a noodle dribbled out of her mouth, he smiled. When she sucked it inside her lips, he laughed out loud.
As they sat together, enjoying their meal, she could feel the tension draining out of her. For so long, she’d been afraid.
No sooner had she eaten a few spoonfuls of spaghetti than exhaustion overwhelmed her.
He seemed to sense how tired she was. Leaning over, he took her spoon and set it down on a stone. Then he wrapped his big hand around hers and helped her up. When she stumbled over a rock, she felt his hand move to the small of her back to steady her. “Careful now,” he said as he guided her inside the cabin.
She liked the kindly concern in his voice and manner even more than the warmth of his fingers against her spine.
“I’ll get the bucket of hot water,” he said as she sank onto the bed.
The promise of hot water was tantalizing.
When he returned, the water sloshed a little as he set the bucket beside her at the foot of the bed. Then he turned to go.
“But where will you sleep?” she asked.
“Outside. On the porch. That way I’ll hear…”
“On the wooden boards?”
“I’ve slept in the rain in pickup beds when I started out rodeoing.” Suddenly he leaned down and rustled through his backpack. Returning to the bed, he pressed a soft cloth into her fingers. “You can use this old T-shirt of mine as a wash rag. It’s still a little damp from our swim.”
Bone-weary, she took it. The thought of her bathing seemed to upset him. He turned abruptly, went outside and closed the door behind him. For a long moment she sat there. Finally she dropped the rag in the bucket and wrung it out. Again she paused before pressing the steaming cloth against her face. The heat against her skin seeped inside her and felt too delicious to believe. She closed her eyes and savored the wonder of such a simple comfort as warm water.
Hardly knowing what she did, she unbuttoned the bodice of her dress and unhooked her bra and ran the warm rag across her throat and breasts. Undoing more buttons, she bared more skin and stroked more of herself with the soothing hot rag. Slipping out of her dress, she washed herself all over. Sighing, feeling almost human again after her bath, she redressed and lay slowly down on the narrow bed.
The mattress wasn’t soft, and it didn’t smell too good, but unlike the prison, the cabin was quiet. There were no screams or babies crying. Slowly she became aware of the porch boards creaking as Shanghai moved about outside. A faint smile flickered across her face. Even though he could be impossible at times and think the worst of her, just knowing he was so near made the horror of Mexico recede a little.
Funny, that she hadn’t heard him make a sound until she’d stopped bathing and had lain down. Suddenly he moved, and she saw his shadow clearly through a small window near the front door that she hadn’t noticed before. Had he watched her?
If he had, she hoped he didn’t think she’d stripped to deliberately entice him. But if he did, what could she do about it?
“Good night,” she called softly, too tired to worry about anything anymore, even winning his good opinion.
“Good night.”
His deep voice sounded strange and hoarse, but it was a comfort. Smiling, her last thoughts of him as she closed her eyes, she was asleep instantly.
At some point she began dreaming. She was on the yacht with Tavio. Again she was looking over the stern at the skeleton bobbing in the water. Suddenly the skeleton jumped onto the boat and chased her, bones rattling, flames shooting from its eye sockets. Then she screamed and Tavio was there.
When he grabbed her, she pushed him away and ran, screaming in terror. Desperate to elude him, she hurled her blanket off and began stumbling about the cabin, wildly bumping into things. Not knowing where she was, she crashed into the table.
“Easy darlin’.”
She was still half asleep when she focused on the tall, dark shape of a man wrapped in a blanket looming in the doorway.
“Tavio?” She choked out his name, her muffled voice fearful.
“So you dream of him?” Shanghai’s jealous comment bit like a snake from across the darkness.
Shanghai? Even though he sounded furious, her heart lightened.
Not trusting what she saw, she blinked and continued to stare at him. He glared at her in turn. Relief flooding her, she ran toward him and flung her arms wildly around him.
“Damn it!” He pulled back. “Don’t touch me when you’re dreaming of that thug.”
Disoriented, she closed her eyes, and then opened them again.
“It was only a dream then?” she whispered, still not quite believing her good fortune. “You’re real.” She clutched him tighter even as he tried to recoil from her.
“Don’t be mad at me—please. I was having a nightmare. It was so awful.” Her hand slid down his chest, her splayed fingers feathering through the wiry dark matt of hair. “I was scared. Out of my mind. But now I’m okay…because you’re here. Because you came…to Mexico. You saved my life…. You don’t know what it was like…down there…with him…all these months.”
Shanghai pulled back a fraction of an inch.
“I felt so hopeless…until you came…until you jumped from that helicopter. Chito was minutes away from killing me.”
Hugging him closer, she clung to his lean waist and pressed her cheek into his bare chest. Even though he was stiff and unyielding, she heard the thundering of his heart beneath her ear. His skin was so hot, as hot as hers. With only the blanket to cover him, the bulge of his sex against her thighs told her all she needed to know.
“I feel so utterly safe with you.” Her lips brushed his chest. “Like this.”
“It’s okay,” he said on a sharp intake of breath as she nibbled at his skin.
“Because you’re here.” She laid her head against his chest again. “I’ll never be able to repay you for this. Neither will Daddy.”
He sucked in another sharp breath.
“I’m sorry I mentioned Daddy.”
Shanghai cursed beneath his breath and then was silent for a long time.
“You’ll be home tomorrow,” he finally said, but his deep voice was tense again. “With your family. Then you’ll be safe.”
“But you came. They didn’t.”
“I wouldn’t make too much of that.” Again he tried to loosen her arms and lead her back to her bed.
“No…. Just hold me. Stay with me. Don’t ever let me go.”
“I don’t think that’s such a good—”
“You always reject me. Why?”
“Because, damn it…just because.”
“I need you so much. I don’t want to, but I do. I always have.”
“It’s too soon for this kind of talk between us.”
“Or not soon enough. When you live day after day thinking it may be your last, you’re afraid not to say the things you feel…when you feel them, because maybe you’ll never get another chance. That’s something I learned in Mexico. And I feel so much right now…for you.”
“Mia…”
“Until you came I didn’t dare to hope for any happiness ever again. I lived moment to moment. You’ve given me my life back.”
“Cole and Wolf were in the helicopter, too.”
“You jumped. Does that mean that you like me…just a little?”
His eyes blazed with an emotion that made the blood pound in her temples. He opened his lips and then stifled a gasp, and said nothing.
What did he feel for her? Why wouldn’t he tell her?
“When I woke up alone in here I was so scared,” she whispered.
“You’ll be fine.”
“But for how long? The Mexicans have brought serious charges against me. What if they try to extradite me?”
“The Kembles are too well-connected for that. How do you think I got into that prison?”
“What do you mean?”
He circled her waist with his arms, which thrilled her because he was no longer trying to push her away. “Let’s just say certain people were handsomely rewarded.”
She snuggled closer to him. “My family’s involved with corruption in Mexico?”
His hand caressed her throat and sent waves of warm tingles everywhere. “Don’t be naïve. That’s the way things work a lot of the time—even up here.”
“So, what are you telling me?”
“The guys in the gun towers had blanks in their rifles. Everything was going great until your friend, Chito, started shooting at us.”
“You jumped.”
“Anybody would have done the same thing.”
“Would they? You saved me once before. You dove under Daddy’s truck. Old Man Pimbley said if he hadn’t hollered, Daddy would have run over your head.”
“I get on bulls, remember. I’m a glutton for punishment.”
His hands continued stroking her hair.
She shuddered. “Tavio saved my life, too. When I was drowning, he jumped into the gulf and risked his own life to save me. But then he thought I belonged to him. He made claims that you never made. I didn’t want to belong to him. I wanted to go home. And he wouldn’t let me.”
“Morales took you against your will then?”
Shanghai’s deep voice held such soft menace, and the dreadful question stirred such terrible memories, she began to tremble.
“N-no.”
When Shanghai pushed her away, she flinched at the intensity in his gaze.
“He never touched me! Not once! I swear!”
“You swear? Well, I don’t believe you, Mia!” He began to shake his head. “What kind of fool do you take me for?”
“You want to know something? Bad as he is, Tavio Morales has a better opinion of me than you do! That’s why he never touched me! He wanted me! But he never touched me!”
Shanghai was still shaking his head. “Don’t do this, Mia. If we have to discuss him, can’t we wait till tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow? Why does everything always have to happen when you say? I think I have a better chance with you tonight!”
“Hell.” He combed a lock of black hair out of his eyes. “You sense weakness and you go for it! I can’t stand the thought of you with Morales!”
“Well, maybe neither can I!” Her voice softened. “I want you so much, Shanghai. I want you to believe me, too.” She put her hand on his chest again, stroking his bare shoulders and then his throat. “You have to believe me!”
He was listening intently, his blue eyes filled with a fierce longing as they roamed her face slowly.
“I’ve always wanted you, Shanghai. There’s never been anybody else for me! Not him! Not anybody!”
“Stop it!” he yelled. “Do you really expect me to believe that? I’m a lousy bull rider. You’re a Kemble.”
“You’re the father of my only child.”
He took a step back. “Look, I can’t be with you like this. Not now.”
“Why? Ever since you pulled me out from under Daddy’s tire and I stared up into your eyes, I’ve wanted to be with you. Why is that so wrong when I know you want me, too?”
“It just is. Go to bed. Get some sleep. You’ll know I was right in the morning.”
When he took a second step back and then turned to go, she felt like her heart was breaking. They had always communicated much better physically than they did verbally. If she didn’t find a way to make him stay tonight, she might never get another chance.
“Shanghai—I’m scared. Don’t leave me—Please don’t—”
She paused. “You know something…something crazy. Sometimes when I was really scared in Mexico, I used to cry out to you. And…and I used to think that you heard me. Sometimes I even heard your voice. It was like you were there.”
Shanghai turned white. The intensity in his gaze took her breath away.
“I know it sounds crazy, but more than once you gave me the courage to hang on.”