‘If only I could!’ bubbled the tiny little voice and I Future-Ratboy-zoomed my eyes in on the snow globe. Inside, floating upside down, was what looked like a mouldy piece of old chewed-up bubblegum. ‘I’m afraid I haven’t got any hands TO put up!’ it said.
Jamjar pulled the Triangulator out of her pocket and pointed it at the snow globe. ‘Hmmm . . . seems to be some kind of germ-based extra-terrestrial life form,’ she said, looking up at the little bubblegum man.
‘Please, call me Harry!’ chuckled the man, doing a loop the loop, and the snow inside his globe swirled around.
‘Nice to meet you, Harry!’ said Twoface, tucking his ray gun into his belt and holding his hand out for a shake. ‘Oops, sorry!’ he said, remembering what Harry had just said about not having any hands.
Splorg looked around to make sure there were no Nom Noms in the shop and pulled the cup off the end of his nose. ‘Hope you don’t mind me asking, but why did you open a HAND SHOP when you haven’t got any hands?’ he said.
‘Great question!’ said Harry. ‘I come from the planet Kwagglethump – heard of it?’
‘Doesn’t matter. The thing about Kwagglethump? There’s nothing on it!’
Not Bird floated over to a box of thimbles and slotted one on the end of his beak like a mini nose-protector.
‘You know what happens when there’s nothing on a planet?’ said Harry and we all shook our heads again. ‘There’s nothing to pick up! You know what happens when there’s nothing to pick up? You don’t need hands!’
Twoface picked a nail file up off a shelf. ‘Oh yeah . . . you DO need hands to pick stuff up, don’t you!’ he said and Jamjar rolled her eyes.
‘Long story short,’ said Harry, ‘I came to Shnozville on a day trip. I couldn’t believe it – so many things to pick up! Carrier bags, hamsters, muesli bars . . . the list is endless. Would you like me to go on?’
‘So you opened a shop selling stuff for hands?’ asked Splorg.
‘You’ve gotta look after your grabbers when there’s this many things to pick up,’ said Harry, all seriously.
‘And how’s business?’ asked Jamjar.
‘Couldn’t be better!’ said Harry, looking around his shop proudly. ‘Actukeely, it could be a BIT better. In fact, it couldn’t be worse. Nobody EVER comes down this street!’
‘THERE’S somebody!’ said Splorg, pointing at a familikeels-looking person walking past outside.
‘Hey, it’s Dr Smell!’ I said, waving to him, but he just carried on walking with his arms stretched out in front of him like a zombie, his nose twitching in the air.
‘Ahem . . .’ coughed the Floaty Note 6000, and Twoface clicked his fingers, remembering why we’d come in here in the first place.
‘Ah yes, we’d like a tube of hand cream, a bottle of nail varnish and a bar of soap please,’ he said.
‘I think I can manage that!’ beamed Harry.