*JENNA*
The other day we’d driven by his house on our way to my house after getting frozen yogurt. Knowing where he lived and how close it was to my house made it the next best place to head to. He wasn’t expecting me though.
Well, hopefully he won’t mind the surprise. Jenna Sabini needs to be cuddled.
Ugh, I disgust myself!
I exhaled a deep breath and pressed the doorbell at Tom’s house. Their bell was your standard tune. His uncle’s home was a wide ranch-style house with a double garage attached to the side. There were no flowers.
Just grass.
The lawn was perfect, rounding the house, and large enough to throw baseballs back and forth at a distance that wasn’t considered child’s play. Their sprinklers were on, spraying every inch of their lawn, even getting a little on my toes where I stood on the front porch. It was seven at night. My homework was finished, I was showered and Febrezed to perfection. I’d had some chips right after I’d arrived home from practice, but no dinner. I didn’t have the stomach for dinner just yet. The horrible talk Coach and I had still plagued me. I was scarred. Her insider knowledge of the University athletic department in the great state of Florida, for the first time, was not a blessing. Some things were better left unknown. Having hope for a while was better than knowing you had no hope at all.
None.
Over.
Destroyed.
Obliterated.
Gone into the lost cave for life.
Out of service.
Sold out and never to be re-stocked again, at least not till next year.
Was I making sense?
Probably not.
But who cared, it didn’t matter if I was or wasn’t talking gibberish, because… there. Was. No. Hope. Anymore.
There was only competition.
Stiff competition that did not live in the great state of Florida, or any other state in America, as a matter of fact. I was dealing with the world now, and apparently it was offering more to these schools, especially Florida State University, than I ever could. We’re talking times unheard of by any girl under the age of eighteen. Times I wasn’t even close to hitting. I wasn’t delusional. Schools weren’t going to reward just average. There were people out there with their eyes on my prize, and they were going to get it over me.
Simple, but it still sucked.
The door opened, blinding me with the light coming from inside. A man stood in the open doorway. He was balding, but had shaved his hair down to its roots, leaving a smooth surface. “Can I help you?”
I cleared my throat. “Hi, um, my name is Jenna. I’m Tom’s… friend. Is he home?”
His blue eyes went from wary to amused. “Oh, Jenna. We’ve heard about you.” He grinned and stepped out of the way and motioned for me to come in with a wave of his arm. “Come on in, he’s upstairs in his room.”
“Thanks.” I stepped inside and he closed the door behind me. “Mr… um?”
“Oh, call me Rodney,” he said, standing by the shoe closet.
“Okay, Rodney. Is it okay that I go up to his room? I didn’t tell him I was coming over,” I said, stalling in front of the stairs.
“It’s okay.” He glanced up the stairs and back at me. “He could use a little uplifting right now. A happy surprise is just what the doctor ordered. Go on up.”
Was Tom sad right now?
I was sad right now.
How was it that we were both sad at the same time?
“Cool. Thanks.” I gave him a nod, took off my sandals and double-stepped my way up to the second floor. The stairs had carpet on them, but the hallway on the second floor was tiled. Perfect for tiptoeing. But which room was Tom’s? I’d forgotten to ask his uncle. I went exploring. There were four rooms. I head to the closest one and peeked in. No luck, it was an office. The next room, the door was closed and I didn’t feel comfortable opening it, like I was invading their personal space. I headed to the third bedroom and there was a bunk bed, with toys everywhere. That was not Tom’s room, unless he forgot to tell me he still slept in a bunk bed and played with kid’s toys.
Creepy factor five thousand, anyone?
The fourth and last bedroom down the hall had double doors, and they were open. I peeked from the hallway again and it was the master bedroom. It was not Tom’s bedroom. This meant that the second bedroom was Tom’s. I’d have to knock and announce my presence like a normal person.
I wanted more of a surprise effect this evening.
I stopped in front of his closed door and listened for any noise. What if he was doing something… something… you know… what boys do when they’re alone? And Rodney did say Tom needed uplifting; maybe he was taking care of it himself right now?
Why did that wound me?
It wasn’t like I wanted to help him in that department.
Ew… no.
Why was I standing here debating it?
I was here for a reason.
I took a breath and gave myself a nod, and knocked two times on his door.
No answer.
I knocked again and waited.
“I told you I’m fine,” he said from the other side.
I didn’t know how to answer. He thought I was Rodney. I knocked again.
The door swung open. “I told you I’m—Jenna?” He squinted from the darkness, wearing black sweatpants and a white t-shirt that stuck to his body. “What are you doing here?”
“Hi,” I practically whispered. “Surprise.”
“Surprise?” He smiled.
I nodded. “Yeah, surprise.”
“A good surprise,” he said.
I looked over his shoulder. “Well, are you going to invite me in or not? I’m calling you in, boyfriend.”
He stepped out of the way and let me through. He was about to turn on the lights, but I stopped him. “Don’t. Leave them off.”
He closed the door and we stood in darkness. “What do we do now?”
“Are your sheets clean?” I asked.
He took a step closer to me. “What is that supposed to mean?”
I smiled, feeling and probably looking embarrassed. “You know.”
“Good thing you didn’t come yesterday then.” He chuckled.
“Gross.” I moaned and crawled on top of his bed. I was wearing my cotton red shorts with a black tank top. Very comfy clothes that were perfect for lying down in.
“And we’re doing this, wow,” he murmured and followed me, crawling on top of his bed. I went under his blanket and rested against his pillow. He nestled next to me.
“I’m on duty?” he asked.
“You’re always on duty. Kind of required if you want to be Jenna Sabini’s boyfriend,” I explained and then sighed. “Are you rethinking this whole relationship thing now that you know all the headaches that are going to eventually come with it?”
He pulled me into his embrace. “What does that tell you, huh?”
“Warm hugs for everyone.” I chuckled, wrapping my arm around him. He felt cuddly, like a stuffed bear. “You’re cuddly.” It left my mouth as if I were sharing a secret. He said nothing back. Perhaps I’d rendered him speechless. What kind of a guy liked to be called cuddly? He probably wanted to be called sexy, or beast baseball star. I don’t know, something masculine like that.
“I’m not calling you sexy,” I informed him, squeezing his waist. “You’re cuddly, and you’re just going to have to deal with it.”
“The truth hurts my soul. I am no longer sexy Tom,” he stated and took a deep breath.
“That’s right, from now on you will be known as cuddly Tom,” I declared.
He let out a breath. “Wonderful.”
“Great,” I chimed in.
“Perfect,” he added.
“What’s your nickname then?” he asked. “I got a new one, then so should you.”
“Call me predator, panther, or warrior.” I sighed and continued, “Those are your options, so choose wisely.”
“Nope, if I’m cuddly Tom, then you have to be… you have to be... sexy Jenna.” He grinned slyly, nodding like he was so slick. I slapped his chest, which was unsurprisingly firm. He let out a yelp.
“Ouch, that’s abuse,” he mock whimpered. “Dating you has become a health risk.”
“And don’t you forget it.” I grinned, slapping his chest again, but a little lighter. I liked my hand there. He grabbed my hand and pressed it against his chest.
I exhaled and leaned into him. “So, I hear you’re sad?”
“And judging by this late-night visit, I’m not the only one who is,” he assessed.
“You got that right,” I mumbled.
“You want to share?” he asked.
“I’m not going to get a scholarship to Florida State,” I confessed, tired out of my mind. “Now it’s your turn.”
“My mom called me. She was drunk and crying. My dad’s birthday is tomorrow. She wanted to make sure I remembered to tell him happy birthday, even though we haven’t seen him for over six years,” Tom explained.
I curled deeper into him. “Life.”
“Life,” he repeated, looking down at me. “I bet you want me to kiss you right now.”
I snorted. “I bet you want to kiss me right now.”
“Only if you want to. Do you?” he asked, hope in his voice. Not that I blamed him for wanting to kiss me. My lips were awesome.
“I came over here for you to complete your boyfriend duties,” I stated.
“Was I successful?” he asked.
“You get an A,” I assessed.
He smiled. “What do I have to do to get an A plus?”
I leaned closer to his face. “You have to close your eyes.”
He closed his eyes and I leaned the rest of the way and licked the tip of his nose. I jumped away before his eyes popped open, but his arms stretched out, easily capturing me.
“Ew, and I’m the gross one?” Tom grinned, pulling me on top of him as he rested back down.
“Duh.” I grinned, holding on to his shoulders and resting my weight on the lower half of my legs. “Why am I on top of you like this?”
“Because I’m cuddly,” Tom said, grabbing my waist and pulling me down so I was sitting on top of him, on his stomach to be exact. Not on another place….
“What?” I gulped, loving how we were interacting with one another. “No, well you are kind of nice to hold.”
“Cuddly Tom is in the house.” Tom grinned, letting go of my waist and folding his arms behind his head.
“Were you really sad earlier?” I asked, leaning down to be closer to his face.
“I was fucked-up. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. This has happened so many times,” Tom confessed, looking tired and as if the weight of the world were on his shoulders. I guess taking care of his mother’s feelings was more taxing than I thought.
“There was nobody to help you feel better, like, let’s say a hot girl?” I suggested.
“If I shut my brain off,” Tom paused for a second and then continued, “and if I were fourteen, crazy, and horny again….”
“Honestly?” I asked, feeling a nasty fire grow in my throat. The jealousy I was feeling shouldn’t have surprised me, I was an intense person to say the least.
“Yeah, but definitely not now,” Tom declared. “Those girls are for looking only.”
“Just looking?” I asked, feeling the jealous fire weaken.
“Before, but not now. I’ve got what I’ve wanted for a while now.” Tom caressed the side of my face, smiling sweetly.
“What’s a while?” I asked.
“Since the beginning of the eleventh grade,” Tom confessed.
“What!” I shrieked. “Why didn’t you say anything before?”
“Would you trust me if I said it was a weird time before and I couldn’t?” Tom asked.
“A weird time?” I asked.
Tom nodded. “Yeah.”
“Something fucked-up?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Tom answered.
“Well now I’m curious. Were you scared for your life?” I asked.
“Yeah, silly. I was scared for my life,” Tom said.
“Because if you’re still scared… I can protect you. I don’t know if you’ve heard but I run a hell of a popular security program. I’ve been on patrol since the first day of school.” I grinned, pointing at myself.
“You want to protect me, silly?” Tom grinned, raising his eyebrows.
“Yeah, someone’s got to and besides, you belong to me. I’m possessive like that, by the way.” I felt like my heart was pounding like crazy telling him this. I was laying down the claim, officially. He was mine, only mine.
“Speaking of being possessive, I’ve been holding back,” Tom confessed.
“Holding back from doing what?” I asked, leaning closer to his face.
“Hugging you in the middle of the hallway, lifting you, kissing you, showing every jerk off at school they shouldn’t even look at you.” Tom’s eyes turned hard and possessive, a penetrating stare that screamed you’re mine and no one else’s.
“Or else what?” My breathing turned rough.
“They’ll have to face Big Tom,” Tom said quietly, slowly. He meant it.
“So you’re going to fight for your woman?” I smiled.
“Fight, get angry, go mental. I know it’s fast, but I feel, feel with you, silly,” Tom stated, practically growling his conviction.
The heart pounding accelerated inside me. I caressed the side of his jaw, circling around his lips like they belonged to me. “Well, I feel, feel with you too, Big Tom. And I have those emotions down pat. Don’t know if you’ve seen, but it’s pretty much a daily ritual for me. I’m Jenna ‘Crazy’ Sabini. Happy to meet you.”
“The pleasure is all mine,” Tom said, tone serious. He grabbed my hand away from the vicinity of his lips and curled his fingers over mine, palm to palm, squeezing, massaging my finger joints to a point where my mind, my heart, and my body felt like they were about to burst.
“That’s so cheesy,” I said, trying to keep control, trying to keep who I was in check because I needed to stay in control no matter how much I wanted to let loose and give in to everything I felt sitting on top of him, fully clothed.
“Damn it, thought that line would have worked.” Tom grinned, squeezing my hand again.
“Work for what?” I jerked my chin back.
“For this.” Tom dived in for another kiss. Sweet kisses transitioned to hard, breathless kisses. I had choices, lots of them. But, I wasn’t ready despite my body screaming, pleading to let things happen as they may. But it wasn’t the right time. So I pulled away and hugged him tightly, resting my face against his chest.
“I like it like this,” I whispered.
He sighed, sounding content instead of annoyed. “Me too, silly. Me too.”
Forty minutes later, I arrived home.
“Turn the radio up, this is my song,” Dad yelled from across the kitchen. As I entered, the volume to “Monster Mash” by Bobby “Boris” Pickett was increased. Dad began doing this shaking thing with his hips.
“Come on,” he urged Mom, grabbing her hips. “Remember, just like old times. This is our song. Do the mashed potato with me, come on.”
“I am not that old!” Mom screeched, trying to pull away. “We’re eating dinner now, stop it.”
“Shake it, baby!” Dad hollered, doing I guess what was the mashed potato. “Look at me, I still got it!”
Mom pulled away, shaking her head as she opened the cupboard and pulled out plates. “Don’t listen to him, Jenna. We’re not that old. I was a baby when that song came out.”
“Sure, Mom.” I laughed, stopping at the counter.
“And where were you, young lady?” Dad grinned, dancing to a halt in front of the kitchen table, not moving his hips anymore.
“Out to see my boyfriend; I needed a hug,” I informed them. My parents looked at one another and burst out laughing.
I wasn’t surprised. I would have laughed too if I weren’t me.
“That was a good one,” Dad said at the end of his deep belly laugh. There was a pizza box in front of him. “Come and eat, the pizza’s from Uncle Frank’s first ex-wife’s brother, Ralphy. He opened up a new pizza place a few weeks ago. He still has a good relationship with Frank and brought over ten pizzas. Oh yeah, scored a pizza tonight!”
“I need to tell you guys something,” I said as Dad popped open the pizza box lid.
“Uh-oh, why don’t we like the sound of that?” Mom said, taking a seat at the kitchen table.
“Because it’s not going to be good,” I said, taking a seat beside her.
“Define not good?” Dad asked, humorless.
I gave them both a timid smile. “Not good, as in, not getting a scholarship to Florida State.”
*~*~*
*TOM*
The pool deck stretched out miles deep, lost behind the blinding glare of the horizon. Crystal clear water lay calm beyond the narrow deck. I shut my eyes, wiping them and then opening them expecting to be the only one here, but standing meters away in the pool looking the same as the last time I saw him was my father.
“Dive in, son.” My ex-hero waved me over, but I stood still on the pool deck, shivering at ice-cold water turning my feet blue. “Dive in, my boy. Join me. Join your father and we’ll swim across together.”
“But I can’t,” I cried, the coldness creeping up my leg. “Not like you can. Time ran out.”
“Come here,” my dad yelled, splashing water at me. “I promised I’d teach you and now I will.”
Thunder struck ferociously, breaking the entire fog of my nightmare. I gasped awake, holding my chest where my heart raced, sounding like a brick moving up and down on a drum. Cold sweat dripped down my head and over my pillow. I got up and turned my pillow over and grabbed my phone. I wanted to call Jenna, but that was a bad idea. Our relationship had a rocky start, what if my neediness overwhelmed her? Or worse…. annoyed her?
I thought about it some more and made a decision. I felt like our relationship went beyond the typical high school one where it was all about looks and who we hung out with. She was important to me, and if she had a problem and wanted to call or text me in the middle of the night, or hell…want to see me I’d be there for her no matter what, just like I had earlier when she came over. But she had serious problems that involved her future, and my problem was just a nightmare.
I shook my head. Knowing who she was and why I fell for her in the first place, Jenna wasn’t the type to get mad at a friend, and now a boyfriend, when in need, no matter what. Including the trials of post nightmare stress.
Tom: You awake?
Jenna: Big Tom, you do realize it’s like two in the morning?
Tom: I had a bad dream
Jenna: Eek! That sucks majorly.
Tom: Yeah. It fucked me up.
Jenna: Shit. Take a deep breath and relax. Then think about something that makes you laugh. That should erase all bad nightmare vibes. I’ve got a list of things that will most definitely set you down the path of cheerfulness.
Tom: I’m open to suggestion.
Jenna: Clowns, our history teacher breakdancing, Donna Tallins juggling peanuts and counting backwards from ten, Latisha with toilet paper stuck to her shoe, Roy, Peter and James dancing ballet in pink tights and a leotard. LOL!
Tom: That last one might actually scare me more than my nightmare. LOL!
Jenna: You laughed didn’t you?
Tom: I did.
Jenna: Then mission completed? What’s the vibe prognosis now, major Tom?
Tom: We’re at fifty percent, captain!
Jenna: Damn it, I need a hundred percent before I can even fathom going back to sleep. Okay, wait a sec. I have another idea!
I waited a minute before my phone buzzed with an incoming text, but it wasn’t a text, it was a photo. My heart slowed, one long beat at a time. The pit of my stomach felt queasy, like there were butterflies. The photo cleared and an entire colony of butterflies took refuge in my belly, because damn, how’d I get so lucky. I caressed the screen of my phone and the picture magnified automatically. Jenna had sent me a selfie of her, half asleep, half smiling, wild sexy bed hair, lying on her bed with a sea of pillows behind her head. God, she was beautiful….
Jenna: Well… how about now?
Tom: 100%, baby. Thank you.
Jenna: Then I bid you goodnight. Sweet dreams for eternity.