I’m staring up at the stars from the grass. She’s on her back beside me, and the spire of a ruined church silhouettes itself in the moonlight as I roll onto my side to stare at her. “Why are we out here, Harper?”
“I missed you.”
“Bullshit.”
“I…” She falters and tugs a lock of her long, dark hair. “I’m trying to figure out how to apologize. I’ve had nine years, and I haven’t come up with a good method yet.”
My guts clench, and I look away from her, to the abandoned church. I’ve been wanting this for so damn long.
“You broke my heart.”
“I know.”
“Why?”
“Fear.” Her delicate fingers brush my wrist, leaving a spark of warmth. “Money. You were going into a world I couldn’t ever fit into. Your Grandpa Hargrave made that clear. And you were going to West Point. You’d meet all those fancy debutantes, and I’d be stupid in comparison.” It always comes back to money. “It was just easier to take—”
“I loved you,” I interrupt. Harper freezes, blinks, shakes her head like she’s trying to clear it. Can it possibly be a surprise? She’d been everything to me.
“I loved you, too. But I wanted to remember loving you, not learning to hate you. I thought if—”
“Do you? Remember?”
“Of course. Don’t be stupid. Everyone remembers their first love.”
And their only. I keep my mouth shut on that reply. “So who was your second?”
“Cade Martin. I met him at college. He broke up with me while I was recovering. I wrote it off as karma once I finished crying. It made sense, considering…”
“He’s a fucking douche. You deserve better.” That makes her laugh, but I put a finger on her lips. “Seriously. I was his age, or younger, right? And I can tell you right now, I knew you were worth walking through fire for. If he didn’t, then he wasn’t worth your tears.”
“Are you hitting on me, Jax?”
“No. I wish I was.” My eyes linger on her lips, sweep lower to where her tank top shows her cleavage, and then I meet her gaze. “I thought about hitting on you all night. Maybe making a few propositions.”
“What stopped you?” An excellent question.
“You aren’t a fuck-toy, Harper.” I might wish otherwise, but she doesn’t fit in the same column as Serena or the other women I knew dated me for my cash. And what if she is just like them? My cynicism wonders as I watch her luminous eyes in the starlight. “I couldn’t pick you up and put you down two days from now.”
“I might be crazy now, you consider that? What if you wake up tomorrow, and I’m talking to doll heads in the closet?”
I grin. “If you were crazy, Margie wouldn’t have you working at the bar.”
“So the playboy prince is afraid he’d be emotionally invested and get burned. Again. Because it happened once ten years ago.”
That wipes the amusement out of my expression.
“Harper…” My voice catches. I put my hand over hers on the ground. “I didn’t get a second love, sweetheart.”
“You got married!” she harrumphs, and I chuckle.
“Look how that worked out.” I draw a breath. Exhale. “And that’s fucking insane.”
“Or romantic.”
“You’re not charmed. You’re freaking out that I brought you out here to go psycho at you.”
“The thought did occur.” Her fingers thread through mine, and she sits up. “But you’re a professional player these days. You’re pranking me to get back at the girl who bruised your ego, right?”
“Yeah. Right.” I force a smile. “You got me.” What the fuck am I supposed to do? An hour with her, my useless heart is ten years back in time, ready to latch onto her and never let go. I should be screwing with her head for revenge. She’s right. Isn’t she?
Maybe if I fuck her, I’ll get it out of my system?
Or work the infection deeper.
The smart course is getting up and running the hell out of here. Drop her at the bar, fly to LA in the morning, and fuck Serena senseless as an apology. Marry the broad, burn my old yearbooks, and swear off every memory still simmering in my head. Doesn’t have to be Serena. Any half-tolerable female would work. Empty sex and lots of it. That’s the prescription.
“You really that mad at me, Jax?” She touches my cheek, and my eyes meet hers in the moonlight. Harper’s high cheekbones, full lips, pale skin look fey and otherworldly, but her touch is hesitant, her voice whispery-soft. Vulnerable. The combination is my kryptonite.
“If I kiss you, I don’t think I can stop.”
“So don’t.” She leans in, and her lips find mine. I grab her shoulders, meaning to shove her away, but dragging her onto me instead. She tumbles forward, across my chest, and I roll while our tongues touch. I’m on top of her in an instant, my hand tangling in her hair, holding her still while I take control of the kiss. Her lips are fuller, her eyes darker when I finally pull away.
“Harper, tell me to stop.” My hand’s on her full breast, squeezing the soft flesh to judge her responses. Harper rewards my exploration with a desperate, pleased sound. I tweak her nipple, even as my leg slides between hers.
“You have a condom with you?”
“Yeah.”
“You clean, Jax?” Her fingers are at my belt, dragging it loose.
“Yeah.”
“You seeing anyone?”
“No.” I’m fucking glad I gave Serena that reminder today. “You?”
“Nope. I’ve been dreaming about this since you left, so it’s gonna have to be you that calls this off.”
I may have growled. Some rough, instinctual sound comes out of me, and I stop her talking with kisses. Her tank top comes up, enough I could shove her bra down and free her tits, lick and suck and nip while I work her shorts off, and then I keep on. “These got bigger,” I tell her. “Hotter. Those hips too…”
“You don’t prefer models?”
I flex my hand on her right hip then draw back and leave a sharp slap on her backside. Harper squeals and wriggles, and my cock throbs. I can’t wait ‘til she’s doing that with me inside her. “I like women who make those sounds when I spank them.”
“No marks,” she cautions.
“What about sore nipples and pussy?” I work one finger along her wet slit.
“That’s encouraged.”
“If I’m rough tonight, I’ll lick you ‘til you can’t walk tomorrow.” I end the offer by circling her clit. “Remember the time I came in my shorts while I was tonguing you? I’ll be that thorough.”
She whimpers and bucks her hips up for me. So I keep circling, pressing, rubbing harder then lighter, finding each pressure that makes her twitch and gasp.
“W-who says … you’ll get a tomorrow?”
“You will.” One finger slides into her tight pussy, and my thumb keeps teasing her. “You want more now?”
At her weak nod, I add a second, then a third. I busy my mouth with her nipples, then her throat when she starts tightening. Moaning. She comes in a rush, and I don’t stop. One orgasm becomes two. Then I add my tongue and use one hand to pin her hips in place, leaving her to writhe and sob my name to the empty sky.
I don’t free my aching cock and roll the condom on until she’s already panting and soaked to the thighs. Her pussy’s stretched enough to take me, and once I’m inside her with my first hard thrust, I can’t think of much but taking her. Hard. Making her feel every missed heartbeat in the last nine years. I pound her hips with mine, pull her legs up and find the limits of her pulsing heat while I keep one hand busy on her clit. She’s wailing pleas for more and screaming my name as another two climaxes drive her mad. I keep fucking her, using my full length, glad for the condom because I can’t stop. Don’t slow. She screams when I come, and I shout her name, shuddering with the force of it. Drained, elated, I fall to one side, only to find the problem when I reach down— the condom’s off.
“Shit.”
“What?” She groans, reaching for my hand. “That bad?”
“No, baby. That good. But I think you, uh, pulled the condom off… You clenched pretty goddamn hard that last time.”
“And you didn’t notice?” She sits up, adrenaline replacing serotonin. Her hair’s a mess, and I reach out to smooth down the back.
“Shh, chill out. I’ll grab you a Plan B in the morning.”
“I…” Harper fumbles with her shirt, stares at me. “I need you to promise that. I c-can’t… I can’t afford any surprises right now. Mom’s meds are so expensive, and I—”
“Baby, breathe.” Her shoulders shiver under my grip and I pull her into a hug. “I got you. Besides, you get knocked up with a billionaire’s kid, you get one hell of a—”
“Shut. Up.” She pushes away. “That’s not funny, Jax. You don’t get to equate me to some gold-digger for laughs.”
“That’s why I can make the joke, babe. You aren’t one of them. You never would be.”
“Wouldn’t I?”
Truth is, with chemistry like ours, I don’t know right this second if I’d care if she did use it to her advantage. I stroke her shoulder, and steal her bra from her hands. She grabs for it, I pull back, and we end up rolling around on the blanket. “Come back to the house, Harper. I’ll take you to the store when it opens.”
“And then?” Her voice quavers ever so slightly. “What happens tomorrow?”
“I find a reason you should hang out with me tomorrow night.” I grip her thigh, run my fingers over the sticky mess and cup her pussy. “Just thinking about coming inside you all weekend is getting me hard again, Harper. That felt so goddamn good, didn’t it? I haven’t felt that rush in so long…”
“You say that to every chick you hit bareback.”
“No.” I sit up this time, and reach for my shirt. Her tank top has a strap missing so I hand my button-down to her, even though it’s covered in grass stains. “Bareback feels good, but that… Does it feel like that for you, sweetheart? Was this all just the same as every other time, every other guy?”
She takes the shirt, staring at it. “It should. It’s not like I’ve had a ton of shit partners. But…”
“Get the shirt on. Leave the bra off, or I’ll have to replace that too in the morning.” Getting my pants fastened and my jacket on is easy enough, but I have to help her with the buttons, and that just ends up with me distracted and teasing her breasts, then fingering her. Harper squirms and whimpers, and creams her already ruined panties.
“You can’t really want to do it again tonight.”
“Gorgeous, sweet baby girl, if you can walk tomorrow, I’ll be amazed. That’s how bad I want you.”
Her eyes meet mine, and her smile is so slow and soft I have to kiss her.