Lucy drove Jack to the airport on Wednesday morning. She was going to miss her brother, and wished he lived closer. She said as much to him.
“I’ll miss you too, kid.” He hugged her. “You can always visit Sacramento.”
“I know. And I will.”
“I love Texas. I miss my spread in Hidalgo, to be honest, but Kane and Siobhan are happy there, and I’m glad. And Megan likes to visit, but I don’t think she wants to live here. She doesn’t mind that I come out, though. She understands family—Megan and her brother are very close, and she respects our relationship.”
“I’m glad. She’s a good woman.”
“No argument from me.”
She hugged Jack again and watched him walk through the airport doors before she drove off.
When Lucy got home, the house was quiet. She looked at the security pad. Kane and Siobhan had locked themselves in the pool house. That was good—Kane hadn’t gotten any rest since the attack because he was taking care of the cleanup and hiring contractors. Lucy couldn’t wait to get the boards down and the windows in. Tomorrow. Tomorrow they would be back to normal.
Sean was in his office, but he wasn’t working. “Can I get you anything?” she said. “I can make lunch.”
He half smiled at her. “Are you mad at me?”
She sat in his lap. “That was mean.”
“I’m fine. Jesse’s sleeping again. Is he sleeping too much?”
“No. He’s sleeping because he needs to sleep. He’s going to be okay, Sean. He has us.”
“I talked to Madison’s father this morning. He’s flying out on Friday. He wants to take Jesse back with him.”
“You are Jesse’s father.”
“He knows. He doesn’t care.”
“What does Jesse want?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t told him.”
“Are you willing to fight for him?”
“Of course, but—”
“No buts, Sean. Just yes, you’re willing to fight for him. Jesse needs to know that. He lost his mother. Everything is going to come out, Sean. Eventually, everything is going to come out. We might want to shelter him, lie to him, tell him this was all Carson, but eventually Jesse is going to learn that Madison was just as involved in lying to the AUSA as Carson was. That she knowingly falsified records. That she knowingly hid assets from the government and in the plea agreement. Money that was illegally obtained.”
“I can’t tell him that.”
“You don’t have to, Sean, but if you lie to him he’ll know. You found that information. That means Dean can find it, too.”
“I don’t know how to fix this, Luce.”
“First, you have to stop blaming yourself.”
“I think you, Kane, and Jack all conspired to gang up on me. At least you’re nice about it. Kane told me to get the fuck over it, and Jack told me to grow a pair.”
She kissed him, then held his face in her hands. “We all love you. This will pass, but I know it’s hard. Kane and Jack both have their own guilt to deal with, they just do it in a different way. And none of you have anything to feel guilty about. One day at a time, okay?”
“One day.” He rested his forehead on hers. “I love you, Lucy.”
“I love you. Always.”
* * *
To make Lucy happy, Sean went to the kitchen and made grilled ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch. He wasn’t hungry, but he ate half a sandwich with her. “I’m going to bring a plate up to Jess, see if he wants to eat.”
“Good idea. Talk to him, Sean. Just—be yourself, okay?”
Jesse had been sleeping a lot, which was no surprise, and he hadn’t wanted to talk. Sean walked upstairs with the sandwich and stared at his son, who was lying in bed with his back to him. The poor kid had lost so much. His mother. His innocence. But hadn’t all that started last year when Carson took him down to Guadalajara in the first place? Exposed him to the business of the drug cartel and human trafficking? All Sean wanted to do was protect his family.
Bandit was on the bed and looked at Sean as if to say, Don’t make me get down. Jesse needs me.
Sean sat on the edge of the bed, put the plate on the nightstand, and scratched Bandit behind the ears. When Nate told him that Bandit had tracked one of the vans, Sean was brought to tears. It had been an emotional week.
Jesse rolled over and looked at Sean. “I’m not sleeping.”
“I know.”
“What’s going to happen to me?”
“I want you to stay here. But I’ll understand if you want to live with your grandfather.”
Tears ran down Jesse’s face. “W-why?”
“You know him. He’s your grandfather.”
“Why don’t you want me?”
“Didn’t you hear me? I want you! I want you here, with me. God, Jess, I love you so much. But I nearly lost you. I couldn’t protect you or your mom. I’ll never forgive myself for … for telling you you were safe. You weren’t. I failed in the worst way, and I can’t fix it.”
“You don’t believe that.”
“Jess—”
“You can’t believe that. Carson sent those men here.”
“He didn’t.”
“Yes! He may not have wanted me and Mom to be kidnapped, but he wanted to kill you. Not just a figure of speech, but really, honest and truly wanted Mr. Robertson to kill you. And then Mr. Robertson wanted more money because Carson lied about how much money he had hidden away, so he took me and Mom.”
“But you should have been safe here.”
“Am I going to be safe anywhere? Are any of us really safe, anyway? What about the boys at Saint Catherine’s? When their dads get out of prison, are they going to be safe? Are you going to send them away, too?”
“That’s not the same.”
“It is. Is it because of my grandfather? Because he’ll fight you? I’ll make sure he doesn’t.”
“I would fight to the ends of the earth for you, Jesse.”
“Then I’m staying. You’re my dad. My real dad. There’s no other place I want to be. I love you. I love Lucy. I want a family I can trust. I can’t trust anyone else.”
Tears fell from Jesse’s eyes, and Sean couldn’t stop his own tears from falling. He squeezed his eyes closed.
“Then you’ll stay,” he said.
“Thank you.”
“Don’t—there’s no thanks. You’re my son, you’re my family. But your grandfather will be here on Friday. He wants to bury your mom in Orange County. You need to go to her funeral.”
“I know. But…” He bit his lip.
“What?”
“Will you come, too? Please? I don’t want to go alone.”
“You want me to come?”
Jesse nodded. “I need you, Dad. And we can fight my grandfather together. Maybe he won’t object.”
“Do you believe that?”
Jesse shook his head, but then he smiled. It was a small smile, but it was there. “But we’re Rogans and we’re stubborn. He can’t beat us, if we’re fighting on the same side.”
Sean hugged his son tightly. “I love you so much, kid.”
Bandit maneuvered his head in between Sean and Jesse and licked them both.