At the crux of my work as a death doula is the element of trust. Clients invite me into their homes and their lives, and with me, they meander through their heartbreaks, proudest moments, greatest joys, sock drawers, and skeletons in the closets. To facilitate this trust, I am morally bound to client confidentiality, and I maintain it to this day. The stories in this book are derived from the most impactful encounters I have had in my work, and the lessons they’ve taught me live within me still. I did not gain written permission to share experiences of my clients, many of whom are now gone. However, my work with them, and my memories of revelatory connections with them, have endured to the point of bursting.
I use aliases throughout Briefly Perfectly Human. To further protect identities, I have changed details and created composites. I combine the experiences of many people with whom I worked closely—including clients who were dying, and those who sought end of life planning consultations and death meditation sessions—with people who simply chose to share their death stories with me in coffee shops, on airplanes, and at parties. It is my intention to create a story in which anyone can find themselves. The experiences we have while dying are universal, yet we feel most alone while journeying through it. I hope these stories show you that we are witnessed, even at the end of our lives. You are seen. You are heard. Your life matters. Your death will too.