As we rolled down I-90 toward Spokane, we passed Army five-ton trucks, Stryker armored fighting vehicles, and even M1A3 Abrams tanks. We saw tents set up in the mall parking lots and armored Humvees parked on side streets alongside cars. Soldiers were everywhere. We got stuck in a lot of traffic, since so many roads were closed to store military vehicles.

“All of this can’t be for the blockade,” Becca said.

I checked my mirrors and took care not to speed. “It’s not. This city is a staging ground for an invasion force.”

“If that’s true,” said Cal, “Idaho is in deep shit.”

“Just like we’ll be if we don’t get Mom and get out of here.” I handed JoBell the piece of paper where I’d written the address of the apartment where Mom was staying. “JoBell, can you have Eleanor give us some directions? Otherwise we’ll be stuck driving around Spokane all night until someone catches us.”

JoBell keyed in the address. “Got it,” she said a moment later. “Exit the freeway in one point two miles.”

A little over fifteen minutes later, we were knocking on the door of the apartment. I hoped Mom had listened to me and waited. And even though I knew there was basically no chance that anyone knew I was here, I kept looking up and down the hall nervously, expecting the FBI or Fed soldiers to come running after me any second. I knocked on the door again. “Come on, Mom. Be here,” I whispered.

Finally, I heard the jingle of the chain being unlocked on the other side of the door, the dull click of the deadbolt being released. After almost a month, I’d finally get to see my mother. The door opened.

And there stood a hot blond woman in little white shorts and a blue button-up shirt, who couldn’t have been more than four or five years older than us.

“Oh wow,” Sweeney whispered very quietly right behind me.

“Can I help you?” the woman said.

“I’m looking for my mother,” I said instead of introducing myself. I didn’t want her neighbors hearing my name and getting ideas about calling me in to the police or the Fed.

“Oh my gosh! Hi! I’m Sarah. We talked before. Come in. Kelly’s sleeping, I think, but she’ll be so glad to see you!” She led us into the living room of a small, simple apartment with white walls and a wood floor. Then she spoke more quietly. “I’m glad you came when you did. This morning she was talking about making the trip herself again. Anyway, I’ll go get her.”

Sweeney leaned around me to watch her butt as she walked down the hall. “Dude, check her. I think I’m in love. Saraaaaaah. She’s so hot.”

“Don’t you have a girlfriend?” Becca whispered. “Remember Cassie?”

“Well, we’ve gone out a couple times, but —”

“You mean made out a couple times,” said Cal.

“Same thing. But who cares about that? This girl … this woman … Sarah is so beautiful, and I think she kind of likes me. Did you see the way she looked at me? She knows Asians make the best lovers.”

“Eric,” JoBell said.

“Maybe we should spend the night here instead of going straight home. You know, get some rest and —”

“Eric, shut up!” JoBell growled.

“Danny?” A soft voice came from down the hallway.

I couldn’t hold back my smile. “I’m here, Mom. I promised I’d help you. We’re here to take you home.”

Mom ran from the hallway and hugged me. “Oh, Danny, you made it. Are you okay? It can’t be safe for you here. Are they looking for you?”

“Easy.” I gently backed her up a step. “They got no idea where I am, and it’s going to stay that way.”

Sarah followed Mom into the room. “Why don’t we go into the kitchen?” Sweeney said, pressing his hand to Sarah’s back. “If you don’t mind, could I trouble you for a drink? We’ve had the most amazing journey. Let me tell you about it.”

Sarah actually seemed charmed, and JoBell rolled her eyes, but Becca led her and Cal into the kitchen after the other two.

Mom held my face in her hands with her warm palms pressed to my cheeks. She looked older, like instead of being here for about four weeks, it had been more like four years. Tears traced the wrinkles around her eyes. “You really came to get me.”

“I promised I’d take care of you, Mom. I always will.”

“Was it tough getting here?”

I took her hands off my face, but held them in mine. Her question would have been funny if the whole situation weren’t so tragic.

“No problem getting out of Idaho,” I said. “Getting back might be tricky, but you’re going to have to trust me, okay? I mean, it could be a little scary, but I promise we’ll make it.”

“I trust you, Danny. You’re such a good son.” She hugged me again, and I squeezed her back.

“You better go pack your things. We should get out of here as soon as possible.”

“We’ve been thinking, Danny,” JoBell said a few minutes later when everyone had come back from the kitchen. “We should do some shopping, you know, pick up supplies that we can’t really get inside the sanction zone. We all wouldn’t have to go.”

“That’s a great idea!” Sweeney said. “Why don’t you all go get us some real food, and while you’re at it, Cal, since you’re eighteen, why don’t you buy me about three hundred dollars’ worth of cigars and cigarettes? We can sell it to guys like Schmidty for three times as much in Idaho.” He handed a debit card to Cal and wrote the PIN on the back of an old receipt in his wallet.

“Sure you don’t want to come along?” Cal said to Sweeney.

“Ah …” Sweeney looked down and lightly kicked his foot back and forth. “I better stay here with Danny and his mom. You know, in case they need any help.”

Cal laughed a little. JoBell looked from Sweeney to Sarah and shook her head. “Okay. We’ll buy all we can and hurry back. Then we’ll go home.” She held up her hands. “Keys, babe?”

“Be careful with her,” I said as I tossed her the keys to the Beast.

“I should crash that truck.” She smiled. “I swear you love it more than me.”

“That’s impossible,” I said.

After they were gone, we settled into that useless polite talk that just fills silence. Sweeney asked Sarah all about her work. He’d never been so fascinated with nursing before, and I knew he never would be again. Finally, he said, “I noticed you have a lightbulb out in the kitchen. Can I change it for you?”

“Sure,” she giggled. “If you want. You don’t have to.”

Once again, Sweeney gently placed his hand on her back and led her through the door to the kitchen. He winked at me before the door swung closed.

“I better get my things ready,” Mom said.

“Good idea. Hey, I spotted a gas station down the block. I’m going to go buy a Mountain Dew. There’s basically none left in Idaho, and I’ve missed it.”

Mom squeezed my hand. “Be careful, Danny. Hurry back.”

Out on the street, I shielded my eyes from the late-afternoon sun. It was still weird to see so many cars on the road. Because of the rationing and the cost of gas, traffic in Idaho had dropped to a minimum. Plus, I’d been living in the woods with the Guard for so long that I’d kind of forgotten what normal roads were like. It didn’t seem fair that everybody here, twenty minutes from the Idaho border, was able to live their lives like they always had, while innocent people in Idaho had to suffer.

I stepped into the Gas & Sip and almost started drooling. Candy bars and beef jerky and pop … Even milk and bread looked great. Instead of empty or nearly empty shelves, instead of ration signs and increased prices posted everywhere, this Washington convenience store had everything, and signs for discounts. I took my sweet time wandering the aisles.

On the way back to Sarah’s apartment, I dumped some delicious M&M’S in my mouth, chomping them like a hog and barely getting them down before chugging some Mountain Dew. Pure sugar! I’d missed junk food like this. It was so good.

My comm vibrated in my pocket. I had Digi-Hank shut off so I wouldn’t draw attention to myself if someone called me. I pulled my comm out to see a call from Cal. “What’s up?”

“Danny, they got JoBell and Becca.”

I dropped my pop so I could hold the comm closer to my ear. “Who?”

“The Feds, man. Soldiers.”

“Weren’t you with them?”

“They sent me away when I kept picking out Frosted Flakes and Oreos. There’s a cigar place next to the grocery store. I was in there when I heard a scream.” Cal was whispering, but almost panicked in his breathing. “When I went out, these Army dudes had ’em.”

“Where are they now?”

“Right around the side of the store. What should I do? I got a knife. Should I go get them?”

“No!” Damn it, what was I supposed to do? I didn’t even know where they’d gone. “Do you have the keys to the Beast?”

“JoBell does.”

I took off at a sprint toward Sarah’s apartment. “Me and Sweeney are coming. Send me your location. Whatever happens, don’t let them leave, or else stay with them.”

“Yeah, the soldiers don’t have a Humvee or nothing. I think they radioed for backup.”

“Cal, just keep eyes on them. We’re on the way.” I tapped out right as I entered the apartment building, rushing up the stairs. “Come on, Sarah, have a car, have a car, have a car,” I whispered.

Cal’s comm location popped up on my screen. I tapped for directions between us. He was ten blocks away. We’d never get there in time on foot.

The apartment’s living room was empty. I rushed to the kitchen. As soon as I burst in, Sweeney jumped away from Sarah, who started buttoning up her shirt. Unbelievable.

Sweeney pushed his hand back through his hair. “Dude, you could have knocked.”

“They got JoBell and Becca,” I said, adding to Sarah, “You have a car?” She nodded. “Mom,” I shouted. “The girls … um … bought too much stuff. Sarah’s going to take us to meet them in her car. We’ll be right back. Stay here.”

“Danny?” Mom called from her bedroom, but I didn’t wait around. No time.

Sarah knew right where the grocery store was, and she drove as fast as she could. I checked my comm. “Cal hasn’t moved. He’d follow them if they left. Or he’d call.”

“What are you going to do when you get there?” Sarah asked.

I took my nine mil out from under my belt. “I’m going to get Becca and JoBell back. I don’t much care how.”

Sarah pulled into the parking lot of a strip mall with a big grocery store and other businesses. The parking lot was packed with cars, some wasting gas, stopped with their motors running.

We drove on and sure enough, in the parking lot around the corner, two soldiers stood with M4 rifles next to JoBell and Becca. The girls’ hands were bound with plastic zip ties. The only thing we had going for us was that the side lot was mostly empty. Only one car and truck were parked over there.

Sarah drove through the lot until she pulled up in front of the store, out of sight of the Army guys. As soon as she stopped, Sweeney and I scrambled out of the car.

“Listen, Sarah —” Sweeney started.

I pushed him aside and leaned down to the window. “Go back to your place. Tell my mother that we’re leaving the second I get back there. Be cool. Don’t tell her what’s going on. Try to keep her calm.” She chewed her nails. “It’s okay,” I said. “Thanks for all your help. We’ll see you soon.”

She drove away. Cal ran up to us. He pulled out his pocketknife. “What do we do? You got your gun?”

“We can’t shoot them,” Sweeney said. “I mean, it’s broad daylight. It’ll make too much noise. Draw too much attention. Plus, you know, we can’t just kill them.”

I drew them into a huddle. “If the three of us hurry, we might be able to get the jump on them, take their weapons, and maybe tie them up.” I elbowed Sweeney to get him to look at me. “But here’s the thing. We need to be hard-core on this. Yesterday I gave these guys a chance, saved the life of this asshole Fed soldier. As soon as I helped get him stabilized, the Fed medic tried to arrest me. We can’t trust them.”

Cal’s eyes were hungry. He looked like he was getting ready for a big football game. I knew he was in, but Sweeney looked away. “Hey,” I said, grabbing Sweeney’s arm. “We have to be willing to do whatever it takes. You with me?”

He nodded. “With you all the way.”

“Hell yeah,” Cal said. “What’s the plan?”

“We rush those guys. Tackle them. Like football,” I said.

Sweeney wiped his brow. “I’m the quarterback. I don’t really tackle people.”

“It’s three against two,” I said. “Me and Cal will go for the tackle. You help where you’re needed. Make sure we get their guns. We only get one chance at this.”

I motioned for them to follow. We walked past the storefront until I could peek around the corner. Becca was crying. JoBell was talking to her like she was trying to calm her down. The soldiers were maybe fifteen feet away. That would be a lot of ground to cover when they were armed. We might have only a few seconds from the time they spotted us.

“Here’s the play,” I whispered. “Tackle some asshole Fed soldiers. On three, on three.” The guys signaled that they understood. I made sure my nine mil was secure in my pants with the safety on so it didn’t go flying or accidentally shoot me in the leg. I closed my eyes and said a quick silent prayer. Then it was time to do it. “Set, hut, hut, hut!”

I ran faster than I ever had before, right for the bigger of the two soldiers.

“Hey!” the other one called out.

My target spun to face me and started to bring up his rifle. He was too late. I drove my shoulder into his gut, wrapped my arms around the back of his thighs, lifted him while I pushed him back, and dumped him hard on the pavement. Then I scrambled up and punched him in the nose before yanking his M4 out of his hands and standing up.

Cal and his soldier rolled on the ground, each of them trying to pull the M4 from the other’s grip. Sweeney ran up and clocked the soldier in the nose, but he somehow kept fighting for the rifle. Sweeney punched him again.

“Come on, man! Hit him harder!” Cal grunted as he kept trying to get the rifle away.

Making sure the guy I’d taken down could see that I had his weapon, I pressed my new M4’s muzzle to the other soldier’s head and yanked the charging handle back to chamber a round. The loud click of the bolt’s action froze Cal’s man right there.

“Give him your weapon,” I said calmly. When me and Cal were both standing with rifles aimed at the soldiers, I motioned with mine toward the alley behind the grocery store. “Get up. Walk over there. Keep your hands low, but where I can see them. You try to go for a weapon or a radio and I swear I will shoot you.”

The Feds stood up, and we all moved together into the alley.

“Danny, thank God,” Becca said when she’d followed us to the alley. “It’s my fault. I’m so sorry. We were running groceries out to the truck and I was talking about you with JoBell. These soldiers recognized your name and the vehicle description, and they just grabbed us.”

“It’s okay. Don’t worry.” To Cal, I added, “Give Sweeney your weapon. Cut the girls loose.”

Me and Sweeney pushed the two soldiers — a sergeant and a specialist — up against the wall near a big green metal garbage dumpster.

“What are you going to do, shoot us?” said the sergeant.

“I’m PFC Wright. You have a problem with me, you come for me, got it? You leave my friends out of it.” I handed JoBell my M4. “Cover me while I search them.”

I patted the guys down, finding more zip ties in the sergeant’s pocket. I faced them away from us and bound their wrists behind their backs. The rest of the search turned up the usual things soldiers carried: sunflower seeds, chewing tobacco, cigarettes, and a couple knives. But each of them also carried one smoke and one CS gas grenade. “I’ll take these,” I said, stuffing the grenades into my pockets. “Never know when they’ll come in handy. Now, you boys are going to stay here. Don’t try to follow us.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” a voice said from behind me. “Don’t move!”

I drew my nine mil as I spun to face this new soldier, just as he pointed his M4 at me. Two more Feds rushed in from the side.

I kept my nine mil aimed at the one who had spoken. He had me in his sights. JoBell was locked up gun to gun with a soldier to my left, Sweeney in the same situation to my right. Cal ran behind us, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw him knock the first two zip-tied soldiers on their asses before they could try kicking us or something.

“I’m Staff Sergeant Kirklin,” said the soldier aiming at me. “You folks need to put your weapons down.”

“Sergeant,” said the specialist on the ground. “It’s him. It’s that guy from the Idaho thing.”

“I know who he is.” The staff sergeant spoke like everything was normal — except he kept his rifle pointed at me. “Now, Private, I am prepared to order my two men to put down their weapons if your two friends will do the same. What do you say?”

Only me and him would be armed then. It gave my friends a better chance. I bit my lip. My hand was starting to shake from holding up the gun. I slowly brought my left hand up to brace my right.

“Okay, guys,” I said to Sweeney and JoBell. “If those two put down their guns, you do the same.”

“Dude, are you sure?” Sweeney asked.

“Trust me on this.” My mouth was dry.

I kept watching the staff sergeant as the other two soldiers started lowering their weapons. A stinging drop of sweat ran into my eye and I blinked to keep focused. The rifles rattled quietly as the soldiers and then JoBell and Sweeney put them down on the pavement.

“Okay … Good,” Sergeant Kirklin said. “Now, Private, you put your weapon down as well.”

“I don’t think so, Sergeant,” I said as I slowly started walking backward. My friends moved with me, but I didn’t dare take my eyes off the soldiers. “JoBell,” I said. “You still have the keys? Let’s head for the Beast.”

“Stop right there,” Kirklin said. “All of you.”

We kept moving. “We’re leaving now,” I said. “Don’t try to follow us.” The tense rise and fall of Kirklin’s chest mirrored my own. I wondered what would happen if I did stop. Just gave up and surrendered. Maybe I’d get a fair trial, maybe not. But then my friends would go to jail for helping me. And my mother — there’s no way she could handle me being arrested.

“I said stop!” Kirklin shouted.

And if I trusted him, if I let my guard down at all, he could just betray me like that asshole medic yesterday. My nine mil was still locked on him. What if I wounded him, shot him in the leg or something? No good. He’d still be able to fire, and Army doctrine was one shot, one kill. If he shot me, he’d probably get a medal and a promotion. I could see the fire in his eyes, the finger tight on his trigger. I kept backing away.

Kirklin moved a step closer. “Private, you and your friends are under arrest.”

I had only one option. Could I do it? If I did, there was no going back.

Kirklin tightened his rifle against his shoulder. If he made his move, I’d never know.

I took control of my breathing. Oh, God, please forgive me. In and out and in —

“Private,” Kirklin shouted, “if you take one more step I will shoot —”

— and hold —

I pulled the trigger. His chest burst blood and pieces of flesh. I fired again. His hand was ripped away from his rifle as he fell to the ground. The other two Feds dove for their weapons, but my guys tackled them. People were yelling. I couldn’t tell who.

“Nobody move!” I shouted. “Shut up!” I pressed the business end of my nine mil to one Fed’s temple. They both stopped struggling. “Guys, get all the guns,” I said. Cal and Sweeney picked up the rifles. Becca and JoBell zip-tied the last two Feds so all four of them were bound tight and helpless on the ground.

I stepped up to Staff Sergeant Kirklin’s body. The Army mental health pamphlets warned soldiers against staring at bodies, particularly those of people they’d killed. But I felt like I owed this man enough to look at him, to not try to ignore what I’d done. His body lay crumpled in a big, expanding pool of bright red blood, dust floating on the edges. His arm was thrown back so that he almost looked like he was waving, except above his wrist there were only shreds of meat. Steam rose from his still, open chest and bone fragments jutted out of the deep red cavity. His dull eyes stared up at nothing. It was too much like that girl at Boise, except this time, I had chosen to make this person dead.

When I looked up, I saw JoBell standing in the middle of the alley, her M4 dangling from her hand with the muzzle pointed at the ground. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she stared at me. I met her eyes. What was she thinking? Did she think I was a murderer? Did she understand that I’d had no choice? Did she know I’d done this at least in part for her?

I swallowed and licked my lips. “We gotta go.”

Cal motioned toward the soldiers with his M4. “We can’t leave these guys and the … We can’t leave them out in the open. Someone will find them. Find out we were here.”

“Someone probably heard those shots already.” I started toward the Beast. “We’re leaving now.”

Back by the Beast, the image of the man I’d killed flashed through my mind again. I felt the acid burn at the back of my mouth. My stomach lurched, and I puked and then dry-heaved before I was finally ready to get into my truck.

When we were all mounted up, we had a truck full of the groceries the girls had been able to load, four M4 rifles, an AR15, my nine mil, four silent people probably wondering what had just happened, and me, PFC Daniel Wright, who, no matter his reasons, would from now on be a killer.