They were silent on the way back. She knew Jack wasn’t pleased with her decision. Quite frankly, she wasn’t happy either. But she had a lab at home, dammit, and if she didn’t defend her funding, she’d end up losing it.
It amazed her how much she wanted to say yes to staying. She wanted to so badly. The fact was, Margaret had never done anything impulsive in her life. She didn’t like impulsive decisions. Besides, only idiots threw caution to the wind, sacrificing everything for love.
Jack got out of the vehicle without saying another word and started for the mechanical hut door. Then he stopped and turned on one heel. “I know you have obligations back on Earth. But you’ve got an hour to change your mind and I hope you will.” He took her arms, feeling far away since they were both in their space suits. “But either way, you’re not done with me. I won’t be up here forever.”
Seeing him standing before her, a strong, intelligent man declaring his intensions made her heart hurt and she trembled. “Well, you know where to find me when you come home.” But she knew distance wasn’t kind to a shiny new relationship like theirs. They might be able to exchange the occasional message, but otherwise their relationship would be silent.
He nodded. “I do and I will.” Without saying more, he left, leaving her standing there more torn than she’d ever been, part of her wanting him to try to talk her into staying.
Did she expect him to beg her to stay? Jack Boyle didn’t beg. He commanded and promised. This was a man worth making sacrifices for, worth giving up things to be with.
She trudged into the station, her mind spinning on the possibility of simply staying on Mars. What if she let her ride home leave without her? She’d finish her rover here. If she lost her lab, she take the job that NASA kept offering her. It didn’t have to be the end of everything, but perhaps a new beginning—one that might include Jack if things between them worked out.
But if she did this, she’d be risking everything she’d built for love.
She couldn’t, wouldn’t do it.
When she was out of her suit, she wandered into the living room to pack her things. Another rose ceremony was in full swing. Chad handed out roses, one by one, to the contestants, Misty standing proudly in the front row, already holding one.
Hank stepped forward. “This will be the last rose,” he said in his deep announcer voice and stepped back.
Chad paused and slowly glanced at the two women remaining, back and forth until Hank tapped him on the arm to signal that he could speak again. “Amanda?”
Claire, the only one without a rose, began to cry, crumpling as she sobbed.
Instead of a squeal of delight, Amanda stayed where she was for a moment, then walked down to stand in front of the bachelor, wobbling a little on her extra high heels she’d had to wear since she was shorter than the rest of the cast.
“Amanda, will you accept this rose?”
Her jaw set. “Chad, I think you’re an amazing man, but I’m really not feeling the connection I think we should have at this point in the show,” she said, touching his hand but not taking the rose. “I cannot take your rose.”
Chad blinked a few times, clearly struggling with her decision. He’d been coached for this, but it took a few moments for him to force out, “I understand. May I escort you out?” Chad presented his arm.
“I’d like that,” Amanda said, as sweet as ever, her face crunched down in a worried frown that told Margaret she wasn’t enjoying this.
Who would? Not Margaret, who had essentially told Jack she wasn’t taking his rose either.
They left from the room arm and arm, Russ backing down the hall in front of them with a camera.
Hank whipped around to Lynette. “Did you know about this?”
Lynette jutted out a hip and rested a hand on it. “Were you not just complaining to me that this season was boring, despite the fact we are on Mars?”
“In the lab,” Hank growled, stalking out
Margaret grabbed the few pieces of clothes she’d left behind when she’d gone to Station 3 and then walked to the lab to get the rest of her things.
“Chad is not supposed to be turned down,” Hank was saying as she walked in. “The fantasy is he picks them.”
“Well, there was a bump in the fantasy.” Lynette’s tone clearly said she didn’t give two hoots that Hank was angry with this latest turn of events.
“It’s your job to make sure there aren’t bumps.”
“Don’t blame this one on me, Carson. It’s not my fault Amanda doesn’t like him because he slept with Misty. That’s on your bachelor for being a man whore.”
Hank held his head in his hands. “He was never supposed to be alone with any of them. That’s a rule.”
Lynette marched all the way into Hank’s space. “You left me to deal with this insanity alone. I told you it was a bad idea for you to stay behind. That there were too many people for one woman to control and Russ is next to useless.”
“Hey,” Russ said from the camera bank.
“No offense,” Lynette said, sparing him a quick glance.
“None taken,” Russ answered, already focused on something else.
“Did I not tell you it was a bad idea, Hank?” Lynette asked.
Margaret slid around on the edges of the room trying to reach the pack she’d taken to Station 3.
“Yes, you did,” Hank conceded. “But—”
Lynette talked over him. “Once I lost the rocket, I had no ability to keep them totally separate. That’s not on me.”
Margaret stuffed the clothing in her arms rapidly into her bag, hoping to escape before they saw her. Right now, they were totally focused on their fight, but that anger could fall on her if she didn’t get out quick. Because her brother had met his match. Wow.
Hank rubbed his eyes. “How many more want to leave?”
“Most of them. I’m keeping them here by the skin of my teeth, reminding them they can’t get on Paradise without my approval.”
“Jesus Christ,” Hank said and paced in a tight circle.
Margaret realized she had nowhere to go. She couldn’t join the women in the living room and right now, those voted off had taken up residency in the kitchen. She belonged to neither group. Despondent, she slid down against the wall, figuring they were so caught up in their conversation she wouldn’t be noticed.
“I did the best I could under the circumstances,” Lynette said, losing a smidge of her righteous anger.
“I know you did.”
“This whole thing has been fucked from the word go. I don’t think even you can save it.”
Hank stopped massaging his head, straightening. “You’re wrong. Nothing is ever unsalvageable. Remember episode 32? We thought it was unredeemable, but we pulled it out.”
Lynette tipped her head back and forth. “Maybe. But that was because everyone got food poisoning. Eventually, they all left the hospital and we could resume filming. This time is worse.”
Well at least Margaret wasn’t the only one who wasn’t going to get what she wanted. It occurred to her that since she was going home, she didn’t need to save her chocolate bars for an emergency. She rummaged around her bag until she found one.
“It’s not time to give up yet.” Hank said, his voice turning to steel. “What’s the underlying problem?”
“There are several, but the number one problem we have is that they don’t like him. And you know the audience can tell if they’re faking, no matter how much we edit.”
Margaret took a bite. Pure joy melted into her mouth. God, she loved chocolate. She was really blue about leaving. Why couldn’t she put all her responsibilities aside and take a chance? For the first time in her life, she wished she was that person. She took another mouthful, feeling weepy.
Hank ran his fingers through his hair. “We’re selling love here and to do that, we need them to be in love with him.”
“We can’t get that back. He’s chosen Misty and they know it. Once you let her return, they decided the game was over.”
Jack had chosen her, Margaret realized. To have someone who was the poster child for being a recluse ask her to stay with him was monumental. He wasn’t making a spontaneous decision, either. She’d bet he’d thought it all out backwards and forwards and was one hundred percent sure he wanted her with him.
She looked down. The chocolate bar was gone. The foil lay forlorn in her lap. She still felt weepy. Well, she could diet later, alone on Earth, in her lab. She dug through her bag for another.
“How can we get this back? There has to be a way.” Hank resumed his pacing.
“There isn’t,” Lynette said, and Margaret could tell she felt sorry for her brother.
“I need ideas, not naysaying, Lynette!” he said, desperation in every word.
Taking another bite, Margaret let the chocolate high spread through her, which was why she decided to add her thoughts to their conversation, despite her gut instinct to stay silent. “You could have a shortened show and have him pick Misty early over everyone else. Just end it now. Blow the viewing audience off their asses,” she suggested, throwing out the most outrageous idea she could think of.
Hank whipped around. “What?”
“Just have another rose ceremony and have Chad throw away all the roses except one and give it to Misty.” She chomped down on the chocolate bar, now completely out of control, tossing calories to the wind. “People would cry their eyes out. The only bachelor in history to be so in love, he threw away the game.”
Margaret wished she loved someone that much. The thing was, she could fall that hard for Jack. They were perfect for each other, both scientists, both focused on learning, they would understand when the other needed to work late in the lab, could listen to long, drawn out, boring stories about grant funding woes. And, besides being sexy hot and one of the smartest guys she knew, Jack had Mars, the thing she’d always wanted.
Lynette and Hank were arguing back and forth, but Margaret wasn’t listening, instead concentrating on finishing her current chocolate bar, like a woman on a mission. Eating it had gone from fun to feeling sick, but fuck it, she was getting drunk on sugar even if it killed her.
“It could work,” Lynette said slowly.
“It could,” Hank agreed. “And we could bring everyone home on this shuttle and save a shit ton of money by not needing another shuttle run.”
“People would know something was up if we only schedule five shows.”
“Six with the wrap-up episode.” Hank paced back and forth. “Seven if we show them going to meet their families.”
“Eight if you actually do an episode to memorialize the contestants who died coming here,” Margaret said with more than a hint of disgust in her voice for the whole enterprise her brother had made his life’s work.
“Ohhh, great idea!” Hank said, completely oblivious to her disdain, deep in hit TV producer mode. “The women who died for a chance at love…” His concentrated acting continued.
“What if they get home and hate each other?” Margaret asked, because really, if she stayed, tomorrow she might wake up and realize she’d made a mistake and then she’d be stuck on Mars with Jack Boyle.
“Even better!” Hank said, a smile spreading across his face.
“That’s kind of cruel, Hank,” Margaret said, wishing she hadn’t eaten the whole second bar.
“Misty won’t let that happen. She’s a woman on a mission. She wants Chad and she’ll keep him,” Lynette predicted.
Margaret wondered if it could be that easy. Maybe if the guy was equally as committed. Was Jack committed to her? He wouldn’t have offered her this opportunity if he wasn’t. She should stay. Live on Mars with Jack.
Maybe she was drunk on sugar and would regret it, but she realized she was going to throw caution to the wind. She was going to do it. She was going to risk everything for love.
“Let’s set this up,” Hank said, because he was Hank and therefore he would make her insane idea work. “Margo, we can’t bring home your rover if we have to fly home the crew members,” he said, already turning away, as if that was an afterthought.
“Wait, what?” Margaret said, waking up from her sugar coma.
“We won’t have the weight. Maybe Boyle can send it home on his next quarterly shuttle.”
They would leave her rover here, which meant she would be screwed at work anyway. How could she work on the finishing pieces of the rover if she had no rover?
Don’t grab onto that so quickly, Margaret. You have plenty of things to work on in the lab. If you want Jack, be honest about it.
The man she’d been agonizing over walked in.
“Hank, are you sure about this plan?” Lynette asked, her tone doubtful.
“I’m sure,” Hank said. “Let’s do this.” And out he walked to change the whole game.
Jack stood above her. “Hungry?” he asked, taking in the wrappers and, she realized from his intense study of her face, a chocolate smear on her cheek.
She rubbed at it. “I’m thinking.”
“By eating chocolate?”
“That’s the best way to do it.”
“I just need to tell you one more time…you might be leaving, but we’re not done,” Jack said again.
That was good. He wasn’t giving up and he shouldn’t. They were worth a chance. And for once, she was doing exactly what the hell she wanted. She brushed off the wrappers.
Jack offered his hand.
“Thank you,” she said as he pulled her to her feet. “You’re right, Jack. We aren’t done, because I’m staying.”
He blinked. “You are?”
“My rover and I don’t make the weight requirements for the return shuttle.”
“What?”
“Well, I could go without it, but I don’t want to. I’m staying to try to see if this thing between us is as wonderful as I think it is.”
Jack stood still, as if he struggled with her hundred-eighty degree turn. “You’re staying?”
“Yes,” she said, never feeling so sure in her life. “And I came up with an idea to get rid of the cast.”
Jack grabbed her shoulders. “You did?”
“Yep.”
“My God, you’re amazing,” he said and kissed her.
She leaned into the kiss, twining her arms around his neck. He was worth a risk, the biggest risk of her life. And that scared her, but she wouldn’t get everything she ever wanted if she didn’t risk it all.
“What’s going on here, Boyle?” Hank asked behind them.
She reluctantly pulled her lips from Jack’s and discovered her brother watching. He didn’t look pleased.
“I’m kissing your sister, Hank,” Jack said, grinning at her.
She smiled back. Wow, she was falling for this famous geologist and she was running off to Mars to be with him. She tingled with anticipation and fear. “I’m staying here, Hank,” she announced.
“Excuse us for a second, Boyle,” Hank said, grabbing her arm and dragging her across the room.
“Hank calm down,” she said, trying to pry his fingers off her arm where they were digging into her flesh.
“You’re acting very un-Margaret-like here, and I want you to snap out of it.”
Jack started to move toward them, but stopped when she shook her head. It was her brother, and she’d deal with him. She pinched Hank’s wrist.
“Ouch,” he said, jerking his hand back.
She rubbed her arm. “I’m taking a risk, I know, but I would have thought you of all people would celebrate that.”
“I take risks, it’s true, but you do not, and you need to understand what you’re getting into here. Boyle is a major asshole.”
“He’s not an asshole, Hank. He’s too alpha for you to charm or bully, so you don’t like him.” She loved her brother, but she also understood his failings. “But I like him. We have an amazing amount in common.”
Hank stared at Jack as if he spied a mountain lion in the grass. “Like what?”
“We’re both scientists, we’re both introverts, both driven and focused, both at the top of our fields and focused on the same topic, even if we have different areas of expertise on Mars, and we’re sexually compatible.”
Her brother’s gaze jerked back to hers. “What?”
“You heard me. I may be your sister, but I’m still a woman.” She patted her brother’s arm, knowing she was freaking him out, but wanting him to understand. “I’m going to stay on Mars and finish my research here—where better to do it? You should know by now that this is the place I’ve always wanted to be.”
“Well, yes, Mars has always been a fixation for you, but Margaret,” his gaze turned deeply worried, “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Margaret smiled at him, knowing her brother loved her. “I might. I’m taking a big chance that this relationship will work out. But so what if it doesn’t? I won’t be any worse off than before. I can always go back to Earth and spend my nights alone in a lab somewhere.” Of course, she’d have to find a new lab, but she wasn’t going to tell Hank that. He’d just use it to argue with her. But the time for arguments was over.
“I don’t like this. And neither will Mom and Dad,” Hank said, pulling out the big guns.
Margaret blinked at Hank invoking their parents. While she loved them, Margaret hadn’t had anything but vague support from them for any goal she’d set. “I know you don’t like it. But I let you do all kinds of nutty things without interfering, so I know you’ll have the respect for me to do the same.” She had a firm policy of only judging her brother quietly inside her own mind.
Hank sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “You’re right. I need to let you do this. Hell, it might not even be a mistake.”
Margaret snorted. “Gee, thanks.” She left the “let you do this” comment alone for now. She could save her feminist lecture for when he was back on Earth.
“Okay, you and your rover are staying. That means I can fit everyone in the return shuttle if we leave all our supplies and equipment here.” Hank gave another disgruntled look at Jack. “Boyle said we had to take all our equipment and garbage back off with us. The man is obsessed with trash removal.”
“I’m sure he’ll understand if you have to leave it all here,” she said, making the executive decision that Jack would rather have the people gone and the items here than vice versa.
“I doubt it,” Hank said. “But I’ll tell him you said so when he throws a fit.”
“Go ahead and tell him that.” Because Margaret knew to get rid of them, Jack would do almost anything.