Chapter 1
You used to be sweet to me.
–Ledisi, “Turn Me Loose”
Every girl dreams of that Sex and the City moment where Mr. Big rushes to Paris to declare his undying love for Carrie, finds her, rescues her from the evil Russian, and kisses her tears away. Shortly thereafter they walk hand in hand into a life filled with Manolos, candlelit dinners, and bliss. Eight months ago Farrah James’s Mr. Big, Corey Mills, aka Mills, made all of her dreams come true when he got down on one knee and put a ring on her finger. Now she was on top of the world.
Her company, Glam Squad, which she co-owned with her bestie London, was skyrocketing. Together they’d styled and done makeup for Lana Del Rey, Solange Knowles, and Rihanna. They’d even styled Lady Gaga for Vanity Fair’s September issue and dressed Emma Stone for the Oscars. On top of her career successes, she and Mills were planning their star-studded multimillion-dollar wedding, house hunting, and she was considering getting pregnant again.
After a bitter breakup, Farrah aborted their first baby, but now she was more than ready to bear Mills’s child. On the outside looking in, Farrah and Mills’s relationship was destined to fail. For three years she’d dated Mills’s best friend, Khalil, but after years of dealing with his alcoholic and mindless behavior, Farrah broke things off. Distraught over their breakup, she found solace in Mills’s friendship. Over time it turned romantic, despite the fact that Mills was in a six-year relationship with his then girlfriend, Jade.
After tiring of trying to make his failing relationship work, Mills left Jade and instantly made Farrah his new woman, disregarding his doubts that they could really make it work. Soon Mills’s fears came into fruition when, drunkenly one night, he slept with Jade. Mills was so torn up over his infidelity that when he assumed Farrah was cheating on him with Khalil, he kicked her out of his crib. He then went on to not speak to her for weeks, although she’d told him she was pregnant.
With nowhere to turn, Farrah did what she felt was best at the time and aborted their child. However, weeks later, after Mills learned that Jade had been cheating on him for the last year of their relationship, he begged for Farrah’s forgiveness and won her back. Now eight months later, she was sitting on cloud nine. Little did Farrah know, at any moment the floor was sure to fall from beneath her feet.
It was half past one and she’d been stalling celebrity wedding planner, Adore Phillips, for over thirty minutes. They had a ton of things to discuss, but none more important than the all- time-consuming seating chart. With the wedding only a month and a half away, she and Mills had to finalize who would sit where. Farrah tapped her black five-inch Louboutin Pigalle heels against the floor and eyed her watch again nervously.
She was supposed to be concentrating on the words coming out of Adore’s mouth, but they fell on deaf ears. All she could think about was Mills. He knew how important this particular meeting with their wedding planner was. I’m gonna kill him, she thought to herself as Adore showed her pictures of the finalized menu cards.
“Excuse me, Adore. Do you mind if I give Mills a call? He should’ve been here by now.”
“Sure thing, hon.” Adore eased back out of her chair. “Just tell him to get his butt over here quick. I have a two o’clock appointment with Brad and Angelina.”
“Okay,” Farrah said, nodding.
“I’ma grab me a cappuccino. Would you like one?” Adore asked.
“No. Thank you. They give me headaches,” Farrah politely declined.
“Okay.” Adore closed the door behind her.
As soon as the coast was clear, Farrah picked up her phone and called Mills. To her surprise he answered on the first ring.
“What up?”
“Where are you?” she hissed.
“Stuck in traffic,” Mills groaned.
“Which highway did you take?”
“I’m on Forty.”
“Oh, my god.” Farrah massaged her forehead. “Are you kidding me? How far away are you? Adore has another appointment at two o’clock.”
“I’m going as fast as I can, Farrah,” Mills sighed. “Just give me a minute.”
“Okay, but hurry up.” Farrah ended the call.
“Did you reach him?” Adore reentered the room with her cappuccino in hand.
“Yeah, he’s on his way. He’s just stuck in traffic. He’ll be here any minute,” Farrah assured.
Unbeknown to Farrah, Mills was not stuck in traffic. He was actually at Forest Park. Forest Park is one of St. Louis’s largest and oldest parks. It was massive, so he didn’t have to worry about anybody spotting him. Sitting anxiously on a park bench, he awaited his ex Jade’s arrival. For the past eight months he’d been telling lie after lie. With the way things were going it didn’t look like the lies were going to stop anytime soon. He couldn’t fathom how not telling Farrah about his infidelity would lead to him living a double life. Since the night Jade called and dropped the bomb that she was pregnant, Mills had been secretly keeping in contact with her.
Since there was a huge possibility that Jade’s baby was his, and he didn’t want Farrah to find out that he’d cheated, Mills made sure that Jade’s housing and medical bills were paid. He’d even gone to visit her after she’d given birth to a baby girl she’d proudly named Jaysin Cori Mills. Mills couldn’t see any resemblance between him and Jaysin, but he’d continued to support Jade financially until his paternity test was done. His schedule was all booked up until after the wedding, so he’d already decided to take the paternity test after his and Farrah’s honeymoon.
Mills had mixed feeling about taking the paternity test. A part of him just wanted to get the results so he could move on with his life and figure out what he needed to do next. But another part of him was afraid to find out the truth. If Jaysin was his, he had no idea if or how to tell Farrah. There was no way Farrah would stay with him and Mills couldn’t have that. He’d worked too hard to win her trust back. For Mills, ending up alone seemed inevitable if he was the father. Mills was, overall, anxious about getting the paternity test done, so he could find the much-needed air to breathe or a shovel to dig his own grave.
As a slight October breeze swept over his skin, he spotted Jade in the distance. She walked with all of her weight shifted to the right because of the pumpkin seat in her right hand. Although Mills no longer looked at Jade in a loving or sexual way, he couldn’t deny her beauty. Even after having a baby, sex appeal still dripped from her pores. Jade was made for the camera. She was aesthetically perfect. She stood five feet nine and her measurements were a dick- hardening 34-24-38.
Her butter-colored skin, blond buzz cut, full mouth, curvaceous hips, and ample behind made men and women turn their heads. But Mills wasn’t fooled by her good looks. He knew what lay behind the surface was a self-centered, coldhearted bitch.
“Hey,” she said, sitting the pumpkin seat down on the bench next to him.
“What’s up?” Mills replied, drily.
“It’s a little chilly out today, isn’t it?” Jade rubbed her hands against her arms to create body heat.
“Yeah.” Mills reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a check. “Here.” He held it out.
Jade eyed him and shook her head. Since Jaysin had been born, it was the same routine every month. They’d meet in the park, he’d hand her a check, then bounce. Mills didn’t try to hold the baby or ask how she was doing or anything of the sort. It was like neither of them existed. It was bad enough that she had to go through her entire pregnancy alone. Jade figured that once the baby was born, Mills would come around, but she was sadly mistaken.
Mills didn’t have anything for her but a check to keep her quiet and an attitude. Yes, she’d done him dirty and broken his heart and for the rest of her life Jade would regret her actions, but their daughter didn’t have to pay for her transgressions. Jaysin deserved better. She was Jade’s greatest accomplishment. From the moment she was born, Jade made a vow to be a better person.
Her needs no longer mattered. Everything she did was for Jaysin. She just wished that Mills felt the same. Jade slipped the check from Mills’s fingertips and read it. Her heart instantly dropped to the pit of her stomach. The check was only for a grand.
“Listen.” She took a deep breath. “I’m not tryin’ to be a bitch or get all off into your pockets, but this is not enough. I need more money.”
“Excuse me?” Mills screwed up his face.
“Don’t even start all of that.” Jade tried to reason. “All I’m sayin’ is this is not enough to cover the bills, Jaysin’s doctor bills, formula, Pampers, and putting food in the house. It takes a lot to take care of her, Mills. I just need a little bit more money every month.”
“You got a lot of nerve,” Mills chuckled. “You need to be happy that I’m even giving you that. ’Cause I don’t see that other nigga giving you a dime.”
Mills referred to NBA star Tyrin Rhodes, aka Rock, whom Jade had cheated on him with.
“Why would he?” Jade countered, becoming pissed. “She’s not his daughter.”
“That’s to be determined,” Mills scoffed.
“Are you kidding me? She looks just like you.” Jade snatched back the blanket that was covering Jaysin’s face.
Mill looked at the three-month-old baby out of the corner of his eye and saw bits of himself staring back at him. She was a gorgeous baby girl who held most of her mother’s exotic looks, but her smoldering brown eyes and deep dimples reminded her of him.
“Like I said—” Mills sat up straight. “I don’t know if that’s my baby and neither do you.”
“Oh, my god, you are unbelievable,” Jade said in disbelief. “You know that she’s your daughter. You just don’t wanna step up and take responsibility ’cause you haven’t told your so- called fiancée yet.”
“What you mean, so—called fiancée?” Mills ice grilled her. “She is my fiancée and we’re getting married in a month and a half, as a matter of fact.”
“And that’s fine Mills,” Jade stressed. “I’m happy for you, but you need to acknowledge your daughter. I need your help and the money that you’re giving me is not enough.”
“Well, I don’t know what to tell you, ’cause I’m not giving you no more money. You can forget that.”
“What am I supposed to do?” Jade shrilled.
“How about get a job?” Mills shot.
“I can’t. I don’t have anybody to watch her.” Jade felt her face become hot.
Tears were beginning to form in her eyes. There was a time when Mills would have never talked to her like this. He used to be sweet to her, but those days were long gone and Jade had no one to blame but herself.
“That’s your problem. And just to let you know, when I get back from my honeymoon we gon’ get all of this straight once and for all.”
“Get what straight?” Jade furrowed her brows, confused.
“I’ma get a paternity test done.”
“Wow,” Jade said, stunned.
“I don’t know what you sayin’ wow for. Let’s not pretend that you weren’t fuckin’ another nigga behind my back, let alone in my bed,” Mills barked.
“Whateva, Mills,” Jade said, waving him off. “Do what you gotta do, ’cause I’ma do what I gotta do.”
“You do that, then.” Mills stood up and placed on his shades.
As Mills walked down the trail leading to his car, Jade sat staring out into the open space. When she’d awakened that morning she hadn’t suspected that things would end up this way. Mills was angry and bitter and he had every right to be. But Jade had to do what was best for her daughter, even if that meant taking things into her own hands and calling Mills’s bluff.