Chapter 17

 

ELI went about his day a bit on edge. He didn’t want Alec to move out, and he kept telling himself it was entirely possible Alec wouldn’t find anything he liked. That’s when another voice in his head would shout, Bollocks! and he’d want to hit something. What Alec had proposed made perfect sense—a place of their own, no stairs, and properly sharing a bedroom—but Eli didn’t feel ready, nor was he ready to examine the reasons why. Work saved him. He was able to put all his concentration on his client, and wonder of wonders, the man got the job. He was so thrilled he took Eli out for a pint.

Afterward he walked around London, window-shopping at first, and then he went into a bookstore and grabbed the latest copy of British Deaf News. He passed a small display of Alec’s book, the one that had made him a good amount of money, the one that had prompted Ilsa to seek Alec out when she’d read about it online. Eli picked up a copy and stared at Alec’s photo on the jacket, tracing the outline of his face.

“I guess, in a way, this brought us together,” he said out loud. Suddenly remembering where he was, he quickly replaced the book, fearing people had heard.

As he waited in line to pay for his magazine, he grinned, recalling how he had successfully and secretly read the book. It was difficult to accomplish without Alec finding out because they spent so much time together, but it had been a good read, not dry and clinical as he’d feared when he’d first sneaked it into the house. The book didn’t pull any punches or offer miracles. It urged people to walk through their heartache. It honored those feelings and urged the reader to face them. It assured them they were stronger than they thought.

The book postulated that the loss of a loved one did not have the power to destroy you, as many people thought. Yes, it turned your life upside down. Yes, it hurt like hell. But these conditions were temporary, unless you clung to the pain—which was about as useful as a life vest filled with lead. Eli had squirmed a bit upon reaching that passage. I wallowed. I’m a wallower. Alec’s book didn’t suggest you suffer your loss and then just shake it off—only that you remind yourself that it will get easier, that the empty, dull ache at your core will end. It will change. You will keep breathing, getting up in the morning, working, even laughing at some point—usually unexpectedly.

When he was done, Eli could see why it was so popular. Grief was universal, and the book offered hope. Who didn’t need that? His smile faded somewhat, however, as he realized that though he’d read and enjoyed it, he hadn’t really allowed the book to sink in or to touch him. How could it? There was more to his loss than anyone else knew.

Still, he was happy with Alec and moving on, wasn’t he? Aren’t I?

After paying for his purchase, he stepped back out onto the street and, not eager to return home just yet, he decided to sit in a nearby park and read for a while. He stopped to buy a sandwich and water and spent the next two hours eating, reading, and watching the goings-on around him. A breeze stirred the pages of the magazine, his hair, and the trees. He could smell the promise of rain on the wind, even though it was a fairly sunny day. There were children running around in no particular order or with any discernible purpose. Eli smiled to himself. That must be where ‘willy-nilly’ comes from. There was a pick-up football game on a distant field and a healthy collection of joggers running by.

Eventually he glanced up to see parents trying to corral their children; runners were becoming fewer and far between; and there were more footballers lying in the grass panting and holding their sides than taking the ball in for a goal. He sighed and gathered the remnants of his lunch, tossing it in a trash bin. He’d have to go home at some point. It might as well be now. He decided he’d have to get used to going back to the house and Alec not being there.

 

 

AS HE slid his key in the door, Eli was startled by an explosion of raucous laughter coming from inside.

“Hello?” he shouted as he entered the house.

A chorus of “Eli!” greeted him. He slowly walked into the living room and, looking into the dining room, saw a crowd of people around the table. There were the familiar—Alec, Casey, Lyle, and Tony—and the not so well-known—Shana and Lori, two of Ilsa’s ex-lovers, and two men, one of whom looked familiar. They were all smiling at him.

“Uh, heya,” he managed as he advanced slowly into the room. Alec hopped up and greeted him with a kiss. It ended too quickly, but Eli smiled at him. “What’s going on?”

“We’re planning Ilsa’s birthday party,” Casey said. “She’s at work and won’t be home for a while.”

“I didn’t hear about this.”

“It was a bit impromptu,” a handsome black man said. He had a kind face and was a bit older, maybe in his late thirties. He was tall and slender with a bit of a swimmer’s build, his skin a beautiful caramel brown. His eyes were coal-black, but not cold or lifeless. In fact, they seemed to twinkle like the night sky, and Eli found himself smiling unconsciously. The man stood and extended his hand. “I don’t know if you remember me. I’m Keith—”

“Albee?” Eli asked in almost a whisper. “DS Albee?”

“Yes, but it’s Detective Inspector now.” He beamed at Eli, apparently pleased he’d been remembered.

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” Keith’s eyes narrowed. “How are you, Eli?”

Eli felt his face flush, and he looked quickly from Alec to Ilsa. “I’m fine,” he mumbled. “Ilsa told me you were very helpful when… you know.”

“Uh, yes.” Keith cleared his throat and, glancing at the man seated near him said, “This is my partner, Bishop.”

A slightly younger man with light brown hair and large hazel eyes stood, his eyes flicking to Eli’s cane before he reached out and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

Eli smiled and nodded. “Are you in law enforcement as well?”

Bishop shook his head. “I’m a solicitor. Haven’t had much experience with dangerous criminals, but it’s not beyond the realm of possibility, I guess.”

“At least he’s not defending the blighters, getting them off,” Keith added with a laugh.

Several of the others joined in.

“Good to see you, little man,” Shana said, all five-eleven of her leaning in the kitchen doorway, nursing a drink. Her long blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and she watched Eli through amused, yet predatory eyes.

“Shana,” Eli said coolly before squeezing Alec’s hand and moving a bit closer to him.

Her partner, Lori, reached out and took Shana’s hand to remind her that she was sitting nearby and could see Shana openly fantasizing about Eli.

“Keep it in your pants, sweetie,” she said with a toss of her short, silky black hair. Despite her diminutive stature, Eli got the sense that she was practiced at keeping Shana in check. “Good to see you again, Eli,” Lori said. “It’s been a long time.”

He nodded and smiled at Lori, but then his eyes went warily to Shana, who was still watching him. To this day, the woman unnerved him. At a party years ago, when she was still with Ilsa, Shana had gotten drunk and cornered him in the kitchen. She seemed to regard Eli as some adorable toy or pet, and she’d grabbed him and kissed him, giving his package a possessive squeeze. Eli shuddered just thinking about it. Bennett had walked in and shut her down, rather forcefully, if he remembered correctly. She and Ilsa had split shortly thereafter, probably more to do with her drinking than with her kink for him.

“Well, now that you’re here, Eli, I think I’ll take my leave,” Tony said as he slid out of his chair and over to the bar, where he mixed himself a drink. “Call if you need me.” And with that he headed through the kitchen and out onto the deck.

Eli took a seat, and Alec sat next to him, resting his hand on Eli’s thigh. “So what have you all decided?” he asked, giving Alec a smile and covering his hand with his own.

Casey, Keith, Lori, and Lyle launched into a detailed description of the music, food, gifts, and decorations they had planned for the party. Eli smiled at their enthusiasm and chuckled at the bemused expressions on Alec and Bishop’s faces as they tried and failed to keep up while the four others ran down the list of preparations. Shana had apparently lost interest and wandered out onto the deck to join Tony. Eli was feeling better about his day, almost hopeful.

When the ideas petered out and the discussion wound down, Casey hurriedly showed Keith, Shana, and their respective partners out. Ilsa would be home soon. Eli took Alec by the hand, and they went into the kitchen. He backed Alec up against the island and kissed him.

“It seems you’ve had a busy day.”

“Yep,” Alec said, grinning. “The party should be spectacular.” He glanced back into the dining room. “And it was nice meeting others who knew you before I did.”

Eli followed his gaze. “You mean Keith?”

Alec nodded. “And Shana and Lori.” Eli frowned. “They each used to date Ilsa?”

“At one time or another,” Eli said with a chuckle.

Smiling slightly, Alec shook his head in disbelief, and then his expression became guarded.

“Keith… he was there that night… right?”

Eli frowned and nodded. “I only have a vague memory of him before I was loaded into the ambulance.” Alec’s arms encircled him and tightened, and Eli felt revived. “The next time I saw him was in the hospital, six weeks later.” He rested his head against Alec’s shoulder, reveling in the feel of him, the scent of him, and closed his eyes. They stood like that for several minutes.

Eli opened his eyes. “I’m sorry about this morning,” he said softly.

“It’s okay.”

It was his turn to tighten his grip on Alec. This comfort felt too good for either of them to end it, but Mirabell had no such qualms.

“Are we ready?” she said, bursting into the kitchen from the deck, with Tony on her heels, laughing.

“This she-devil is wicked!” he said. “Wherever did you find her, and why haven’t we met before now?” He slid up to Lyle, who was entering from the dining room, and kissed him automatically. Lyle’s hands were filled with folders, papers, and notes of party data, but he shifted them quickly enough to accommodate Tony.

Eli gripped Alec’s bottom and whispered, “How about you come to my room for a proper apology?”

“I’d love to… b-but we’re all headed back to my new place to take some measurements and make decorating decisions.”

He pulled back from Alec abruptly. “You already have it?”

“Yeah,” Alec said, smiling nervously. “It’s several floors below Tony and Lyle, but it has a similar layout. And it’s early enough in the construction for me to customize it to my liking. It’s beautiful.”

“Not yet, it’s not,” Mirabell said. “It needs a makeover.” She sighed. “I love makeovers.” She looked pointedly at Alec and then at Eli. “Let’s go, shall we?” She walked by them and out of the kitchen.

“I don’t think she likes me,” Eli said.

“What’s not to like?” Alec squeezed Eli’s hand. “Come with us.”

“Um, I’m… I’m afraid I’m in for the night.” He gave Alec a quick kiss.

“There’ll be pizza.”

Eli smiled and patted Alec’s chest. “I’ll see it another time. I promise.”

Alec watched him closely, and Eli tried to keep his expression pleasant.

“I’ll be back soon,” Alec said, pulling him in for a deeper kiss. “I promise.”