Chapter 20

 

ALEC welcomed the lusty hunger in Eli’s eyes as he advanced, gently pushing Alec backward until he dropped onto the bench. With no cane in the shower, he held Eli’s hand to steady him as he came closer. All the kissing, hot water, rubbing, soaping, and rinsing had them both achingly hard. Eli carefully straddled his lap on the deep bench, their cocks brushing against each other briefly as Eli positioned himself. This, more than relaxing during a steam, was more what Alec had in mind when he’d ordered the custom job.

His tongue slid past Eli’s lips as his hands slid over Eli’s skin, reveling in the firm muscle beneath. Eli was slight but much more powerful than he appeared, and Alec squeezed and massaged the lean muscle in Eli’s thighs and licked the center of his chest where the water had darkened the hair there, creating an apparent arrow pointing straight to Eli’s cock. Alec smiled as it bumped and brushed against his abdomen. Suddenly Eli’s fingers tangled painfully in his hair, jerking his head back so Eli could smile wickedly down at him—his blue eyes flashing—as Alec gripped Eli’s ass and guided him onto his cock.

“Sir?”

“Mr. Sumner?”

“Huh?” Alec blinked several times at the students standing in his doorway watching him curiously. “Uh… yes, what can I do for you?” he asked.

“We have a couple of questions about this paper you’ve assigned.”

“Oh, yes, yes. Please come in.” Alec shook his head to clear it, remembered he had papers in his hands, if not what they were for, and donned his glasses as the three students filed in hurriedly. His reading glasses helped him better examine what the students were presenting, but more importantly, they allowed him to hide behind his professor face, a face he had not been wearing seconds earlier. He shuddered to think what expression he’d had as he imagined fucking Eli in his new shower.

Their disagreement—yes, that’s what it was—on the way back from the match had cooled any hopes of intimacy for the evening, and Alec had simply returned to his place, alone and confused. He hadn’t seen Eli for days, and it was wearing on him. During the following week, their time on the phone before bed wasn’t nearly enough, and he was already tired of pretending. Alec wanted to feel Eli, smell him, hear him, taste him, fuck him, but more than anything, hold him. He felt a distance growing between them and didn’t know how to close it. I don’t regret moving out. I don’t. He laughed to himself. I’m afraid of the distance, but I’m afraid of needing him, of missing him so much. Mental note: seek therapy.

He suspected this first week apart had been an anomaly. Surely it wouldn’t normally be this difficult to arrange some time together. With Eli’s sign language certification and Alec’s course work and perfectionist snit over the new apartment, they had not enjoyed each other’s company for nearly seven days. Nevertheless, he was pleased he had worked out his dinner plans, and the apartment would be ready in time for their date tomorrow.

He couldn’t deny that in the back of his mind he was hoping Eli would be so impressed with the place and the evening Alec had planned, he’d want to move right in. But Alec also kept telling himself that probably wouldn’t happen. His head was beginning to hurt swinging between his dreams and his reality.

“Sir?”

“S-sorry, Dody,” Alec said, refocusing on his notes. “Which point are you concerned about?” The sooner he could get his hands on Eli, the better. That contact settled him, settled his mind and his fears.

Once the questions were answered and the students had filed back out, Alec was alone for exactly three minutes before another knock sounded at his office door.

“Come in.”

“Cheers!”

“Lincoln?” Alec stood up and shook the young man’s hand. “What are you doing here?”

“Sorry I missed your move.”

“No problem. We had plenty of help. How are you?”

“I’m good, thanks.” He took the seat Alec offered. “I tracked you down from that card you left me. Wanted to let you know Mickey might be comin’ back to London.”

“That’s wonderful.”

“Yeah, he’s clawin’ the paint off the walls back home.” Lincoln chuckled nervously, but then he grew quiet—quiet and fidgety. He wouldn’t meet Alec’s eye.

“Aren’t you happy about his return?”

“He… he still doesn’t talk about what happened.”

“That takes time, I’m afraid, but I think returning to London is a good start. He needs to be somewhere he can be himself.”

Lincoln nodded thoughtfully. “I know.” He sighed. “I just hate that he was just beginnin’ here, beginnin’ to be himself, and then that happened.”

“He was raped, Lincoln. You can say it.”

Lincoln finally faced Alec directly. “What if I can’t help him or… say the wrong thing?”

“Just be his friend. Be ready to listen when he’s ready to talk.”

Lincoln stood awkwardly, hovering in the doorway as if he might bolt at any second. His unease and fear were apparent. “I don’t know if I’m what he needs.” Lincoln hugged himself. “I don’t know if I’m good enough. I don’t want to mess him up more.”

“Lincoln, I’m here for you both. You know that, right?”

Lincoln nodded. “He remembers you, ya know. He’s grateful.”

“I’m glad I could help.

“And… and Mum says hi.” Alec grinned broadly. “She wants to know if you’re still seeing someone.”

“Uh… yeah. Yes I am, actually. Same guy.”

“Good on you, but she’ll be disappointed. She’d like to see me with a doctor.”

“Forgive me, but I got the impression you had feelings for Mickey.”

Lincoln turned several shades of pink in quick succession, and Alec grinned.

“Oh, well… he and I… we just grew up together. That’s all.”

Alec leaned forward. “I have two very good friends who have known each other since they were kids, and they’re a couple now.” Lincoln grinned weakly, never turning fully toward Alec. “I’ll send you an invitation to a surprise party we’re having for a friend, and you can meet them. Okay?”

“That would be great.”

“Hopefully Mickey will be your ‘plus one’.”

“Fingers crossed,” Lincoln said, absently tracing Alec’s name on the glass in his office door.

Alec got up and went to him. “Caring for someone who’s been traumatized obviously isn’t simple,” he said, gently placing his hand on Lincoln’s shoulder. “You second-guess yourself. You’re terrified of making a mistake, maybe making things worse.” Lincoln looked up into Alec’s face. “But it’s important to remember that it takes time. There will be setbacks, but trust in your love for the man, and he’ll come to trust in it too.”

Lincoln finally smiled and seemed to relax. He thanked Alec, and they shook hands before he left the office. Alec went back to his desk, reflecting on what he’d just told the young man, and his gaze settled on a recently framed picture of him and Eli.

Back in January all the housemates and Casey had attended a small benefit for Gay’s the Word. The gay and lesbian bookshop had survived some heavy threats since opening in 1979, not the least of which was the ever-present financial struggle that all independent bookstores had to deal with. Lyle had been passionate about helping out because the store had been a safe, welcoming place for him when he first arrived in London. Tony had donated a painting for auction, and Ilsa had provided the refreshments.

The artist, as always, had been snapping pictures, and this one had caught Alec’s eye. In it he was embracing a laughing Eli from behind as they stood by a shelf of books. Alec remembered clearly that he’d been watching Eli during the event as he meandered throughout the store, strolling up and down the narrow aisles, stopping to chat with someone, or pausing to look at a book.

Alec had slowly made his way over to him, coming up behind him as he stood, engrossed in the back cover of a novel. He had embraced Eli suddenly, startling him and sending him into a fit of laughter. Just then, Tony had appeared and shouted at them to look his way, then snapped the picture. So here they were, forever frozen together in a moment of joy and intimacy.

Alec sighed, tracing Eli’s image with his finger. “And he’ll come to trust in it too.”