Chapter 26

 

ELI’S hand shook as he tried to fit his key into the lock. The horrid end to his night with Alec, followed by hours at the hospital at Brad’s side, had left him exhausted and rattled. He stopped, took a deep breath to steady himself, and then the key slid in perfectly. He unlocked the front door and slipped quietly into the house. A pale, white light emanated from the kitchen at the end of the long entry hall, but there was no sound of movement, and he hoped Ilsa had gone to bed.

He leaned back against the door and closed his eyes, just wanting to crawl into bed. He headed toward his bedroom door, but before he reached it, he heard Ilsa on the next landing above him.

“I knew you’d be spending the night at Alec’s, but I had no idea you’d be so late in coming home today.”

He could hear the smile in her voice, and he so wanted to match her tone so she wouldn’t worry, but he couldn’t bring himself to, so he simply said, “Ilsa… I need to talk to you.” He continued into his bedroom. Seconds later she was standing in his doorway.

“Sugar, what’s wrong?” He sat on his bed, toeing off his shoes. “You look awful.” She came over and sat next to him. “Didn’t the date go well?”

“It was spectacular,” Eli sighed. “But I left Alec’s this morning.”

“Where have you been?”

He told Ilsa about Casey’s call for help and how he’d sat with Brad until his concerned grandparents had shown up, cooing over the boy and looking in on their daughter and son-in-law.

“You’re a prince, sugar,” she said, smiling. “Sorry Casey’s call ruined your date, though.”

He looked into her eyes and grinned weakly. “It wasn’t Casey who ruined the date.”

“Huh?”

“Dray came by this morning and—”

“Son of a bitch!” Ilsa rocketed off the bed, but Eli raised his hand to calm her. She fell silent, pacing back and forth a few times, watching him, and then she gradually settled back down on the bed. “Sorry, what happened?”

“Me… I happened.” Ilsa just stared at him. “I exploded and tore into Dray. You know I promised Alec I’d keep that in check.” He looked at her, and she nodded. “But last night… it was so amazing, and then there Dray was this morning with coffee and schemes—and I just lost it.”

“Understandable.”

Eli hesitated. He wasn’t sure how he’d continue, but he knew he had to. “Alec told me he loved me.”

“Eli, that’s wonderful.”

He closed his eyes, remembering. “It was, Ilsa. It was,” he whispered.

“Then Casey called?”

His eyes popped open, and he swallowed nervously. “N-no….”

“Eli?”

“Dray told Alec that… years ago… I slept with him.”

“You’re joking?” She was off the bed again before Eli could stop her. “Dray accused you of cheating on Bennett—with him?” She paced around the room looking as though she wanted to break something, and if Dray’s neck had been handy at that moment, he might not have gotten out alive. “How dare he!”

He watched her pacing angrily back and forth in front of him, so filled with righteous indignation. Eli didn’t know where he found the strength to continue.

“Ilsa—”

She stopped in the middle of the room and glared at him. “What you and Bennett had was—”

“It’s true,” he whispered.

They stared at each other in silence for a good thirty seconds.

“What do you mean ‘it’s true’?”

“I cheated on Bennett.” Ilsa’s mouth worked without producing anything more than a strangled squeak. Eli nodded. “Dray shagged me—shagged me rotten… in the gents’ at Rocko’s.”

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

She didn’t move any closer to him, just stood there, hugging herself and letting her gaze wander around the room. Eli waited, but when nothing more seemed forthcoming from her, he continued getting undressed, tugging his jumper off over his head.

“Alec and I are done, and I’m going to bed.”

The note of finality in his voice jarred Ilsa into speaking. “Are you certain? That doesn’t sound like Alec.”

He pulled the covers back before shedding his jeans. “It’s been a very long day.” He fell in the bed and tugged the covers up to his neck.

“Eli, did Alec actually end it?”

“Good night.” He rolled over to face the wall. “Turn the light out when you leave, please.”

“Oh no!” She yanked the covers off him. “You don’t drop something like that on me and think you’re going to just roll over and go to sleep!”

“What do you want me to say?!” Eli shouted, bringing Ilsa up short. He struggled off the bed and glared at her. “It’s quite simple. I cheated on Bennett! I dragged Dray Jenkins into the loo! I let him press my face against that cold tile and fuck me!” Eli gasped, his eyes clamping shut.

“That… that doesn’t sound like you.”

“I was drunk. I was angry. I was selfish. I… I… Bennett….” He choked up, tears coming to his eyes so quickly that Ilsa instinctively stepped forward to embrace him as she’d done so many times before, but she stopped herself. “I… hurt him. I h-hurt him so badly and… and then he was gone.”

Then she did try to wrap him up in her arms, but he didn’t want comfort and shoved her away. “You can’t make this better,” he said, holding up a hand to keep her back, his eyes flashing angrily. “Not with a hug or freshly baked bread or chocolate.” She looked affronted, and the strength went out of him. He dropped back onto his bed, staring at the floor. “I did this.”

He felt her eyes on him for more than a minute, then she took a tentative step forward. “Bennett…,” she began in a whisper. “He loved you, Eli.” She came a bit closer. “He knew, and he forgave you—” He looked at her sharply. “No, Eli. I saw the two of you together before we lost him, and he must have forgiven you.” She sat next to him, reached out, and lifted his face to hers. The depth of his guilt and grief was etched on his face. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

He pulled away. “I was ashamed. We—Bennett and I—we’d had a fight. He was working all the time, and I was just angry.” A few tears had spilled onto his cheeks, and he roughly wiped them away. “I just wanted him to spend more time with me.” A bark of bitter laughter escaped him. “More time,” he mumbled, shaking his head.

Suddenly he gripped Ilsa’s hand tightly. “I didn’t storm out planning for that to happen. I just wanted to go out dancing, just a couple of hours… the two of us dancing like we used to. But he had an important project to complete and refused. The next morning… I knew I had to tell him.” He looked at Ilsa with haunted eyes. “I couldn’t not tell him.”

“And he forgave you, right?” Eli nodded and shrugged. “Sugar, I remember those months before we lost him. You two couldn’t keep your hands off each other. You were closer than ever.” His gaze returned to the floor, and she reached out, taking his chin and lifting it again. “He forgave you. He loved you.” His tears came heavier now, and he couldn’t stop them. This time he let her hold him—briefly. “You need to talk to Alec.”

“I can’t face him.” Eli shook his head.

“Do you love him?” He nodded. “Then face him. Fight for him.”

“I don’t suppose he’s called?”

Ilsa shook her head, and then she quickly added, “But maybe he just needs time to digest things.”

Eli rolled himself back into bed, once again facing the wall. “Yeah, he needs time to digest that I lied to him. He needs time to decide if he wants to waste his time on some bloke who cheated on his lover, some git who’s too fucked up to—”

“To what?” Ilsa whispered.

Eli rolled over to look at her. “To love him the way he should be, the way he deserves to be.” He turned away from her again, and she left his room, turning out the light and closing the door.