It’s too funny. No, it really is. Paula is going to attempt a Bikram class! I mean, I know she’s lost a shedload of weight, but she’s still a big lady. Still what – if she were me – I would consider too big. I suppose you have to admire her, though, she’s done well.
I thought my suggestion of a fake Samantha and Jez romance was inspired, but she’s right, of course, if any of this were real, Robert would confront Samantha and she would go straight to Jez. I have to keep reminding myself that, even though Robert and Samantha aren’t having a thing (they’d better not be!), Paula absolutely has to believe they are so anything I come up with has to be watertight. No plot holes. Really, I should get one of the writers to come up with something for me. Although, on second thoughts, they never seem to worry if their storylines hold up under scrutiny.
There does need to be something, though, that will help convince Paula that Robert has dumped Samantha for good (or the other way round, of course, but I think this way is more believable, given how I’ve portrayed their relationship for her). The time is coming when she’ll feel she has to kick him out before he dumps her to set up home with – she thinks – Samantha. Georgia must be leaving home in the next few weeks. When do universities start? End of September? So, six weeks maybe. Six weeks for me to convince her it’s well and truly over with them, never to be revived. Six weeks for me to make sure he walks straight out of their flat and into the one I will have lined up for us.
Oh, that reminds me. I’ve booked a day to go and look at a few places. I know it’s a bit premature. Robbie and I have only just made the first tentative steps back towards each other (well, not steps so much, we were lying down most of the time, haha!). So I’m not telling him about it because he’ll feel like I’m railroading him. But I need to make sure I have the perfect bolt-hole ready. And six weeks is tight. By the time I’ve seen somewhere perfect and jumped through all the hoops you need to jump through to secure it (that’s assuming it’s already empty. In fact, I need to tell the estate agent that’s non-negotiable. I don’t have time to wait for previous tenants to get their act together and move out), found a decorator, had any work that needs doing done, bought all the little bits and pieces that make a house a home … well, let’s just agree it’s tight.
So I’m going to view four flats. All in Marylebone. Why, I don’t know, except that I like it around there and it feels sufficiently far away from both Josh in Richmond and Paula in Chalk Farm. You don’t get much for your money so my budget has gone through the roof but I figure, once Robert has moved in, we’ll share the rent and it’ll only be a matter of time until we find a perfect dream home to buy. I’m leaving Josh with the house. Much as it breaks my heart, because I’ve sweated blood making it exactly how I want it. That is, I hired someone else to sweat blood, but it still cost a fortune, and it’s not even finished. But my earning power is greater than his. And given that he’ll be out of work soon, it feels only fair. Not to mention that this whole thing is going to be devastating for him. He has absolutely no idea. So it’s the least I can do. Likewise, Robbie has always said he wouldn’t insist on Paula selling the flat or anything like that.
Three two-beds, one three-bed, although that one is really out of my price range. All with an underground parking space because I know Robbie would stress about trying to find a spot on the road every time he went out. They’re like gold dust in an area like that. I’ll just have to put up with it myself until we work out where we’re going to settle long-term. All with some kind of balcony or roof terrace. All, I have to say, a lot nicer than the place he’s in now.
And as soon as it’s ready to move into I’ll break the bad news to Josh. I don’t even want to think about that yet. I know I’m a horrible person, I know what I’m doing is cold and calculated but I really have never wanted to hurt him. None of this is about him. It’s about me. And Robbie.
And the future we’re going to have together.