CHASE AND NICHOLE’S pretense had been exposed, along with her heart.
Nichole turned her cell phone to silent and dropped it on her kitchen counter. Calls from reporters requesting a statement now outpaced calls from her friends and family. Several calls had come in from Vick and Glenn, no doubt requesting a meeting to cancel their agreement. After all, what company wanted to invest in a known liar?
Last night, she’d mentioned Chase’s shoulder injury to Mallory, wanting only to ask Mallory about other methods to ease his constant pain. Something else for Chase to try beyond physical therapy to help his shoulder heal. Nichole grimaced and replayed the conversation:
Mallory had scowled into her wineglass. “Chase will heal only after surgery, as you probably already know.”
She hadn’t known. He hadn’t trusted her enough with that particular piece of information. “I don’t know when the surgery is.”
“Neither do we.” Mallory had directed her scowl at Chase across the pool, who’d been laughing and joking around with his teammates. “He keeps putting it off.”
Nichole had stammered, “W...why?”
“Why else?” Mallory had flung her hand out. “For football. It’s always about football.”
“But he can’t play injured.”
Mallory’s gaze had dimmed, a grim shadow had crossed her face.
“What aren’t you telling me?”
“He might not be able to play even after surgery.”
Nichole had pressed on. “But what if he plays anyway?”
“Then he risks permanent damage. Damage that can’t be repaired by a surgeon’s scalpel.”
Nichole had blanched. Her arrangement with Chase concluded upon their finalizing their individual contracts. Once Chase signed his extension with the Pioneers, Nichole would no longer be useful. No longer be with him. That had been the terms of their agreement—an amicable split to pursue their own goals.
She’d panicked, not wanting Chase to risk a more devastating injury on the football field. She’d only wanted to protect Chase. Only wanted to find someone to reason with him.
She’d located Travis and Elliot. Thanked the sports agent for his hospitality and Elliot for his friendship. Travis had expressed his hope to have good news for them both the following week regarding Chase’s contract extension, giving the happy couple another reason to celebrate. Nichole had requested the celebration wait until after Chase’s surgery and stunned both men into silence. From there, an undercurrent of tension had washed across the outdoor patio.
Nichole had accepted Chase’s anger, but not his dismissal. Or his firm declaration that everything between them had only ever been a lie.
She’d always protected those she loved. She wouldn’t apologize.
Movement in her backyard caught her attention. A familiar figure closed the side gate and walked across the small lawn. Chase Jacobs—her newly minted pretend ex. Except there was nothing pretend about the tears that had dampened her pillow last night. The catch in her chest now. Or the dull thud of her heart in her ears.
Nichole stepped onto the back porch and stood in the doorway. Surely there was nothing more to be said. He’d confessed his truths last night for the world to know. She crossed her arms over her chest, blocking him from taking another aim at her heart. “What are you doing?”
“There are reporters out front.” He pointed at the back gate and tugged the rim of his baseball cap over his forehead. “I didn’t want to be seen so I came in the back way.”
And he could turn around and leave the same way. Now. Before she noticed his unkempt appearance and the misery in his tone. Or searched for regret in the shadows under his eyes. Nicole flattened her lips together and remained silent.
“I’m sorry about last night.” He ground his foot into an anthill as if defending himself from her silent attack. “Football is my career. My entire life.”
“There’s more to you than football.” Surely, he understood that. Recognized he was more than a football player. So much more.
“Nothing special.” He scratched his fingers through his beard and grimaced as if surprised to realize he hadn’t shaved that morning. “I wanted to give you something.”
“I don’t want it.” Unless it was his...
He reached into his pocket. For a brief moment, Nichole’s breath hitched. The silly hope that refused to shrivel up swelled inside her. Had he recognized his error? Acknowledged his heart.
His hand reappeared, holding an envelope. And that hope finally withered. As it should. Love had no place between them.
“I wanted to give you this.” He held out the envelope. “It’s for damage control.”
Nichole glared at the envelope. She’d been given a similar one more than a decade ago. Still remembered the stunned ache inside her chest. She’d revealed her surprise pregnancy and had received a payoff to go away quickly and quietly.
Last night, she’d confessed her love and now stood ready to collect another payout. Once again, her love wasn’t enough. She braced herself in the doorway. Her heart crumbled around her feet, tiny unrecognizable pieces, and still she refused to collapse. “I can handle the fallout. I’ve survived much worse than this.”
“Take it.” He clenched the envelope, thrust it toward her. Desperation punched through his words. “You can finish your app. Fund the launch yourself and secure your own future.”
Funny, she’d started to imagine a future that included Chase. Beside her. With her. She’d started to imagine more than she’d ever dared before. The cries of her shattered heart became silent. Soundless. She should ache. A full body splintering ache that dropped her to her knees. But she was too hollow. Too empty. “I don’t want a free ride.” Or his handouts. Or his pity.
“I want you to have this.” He adjusted his baseball cap, revealed his tired eyes. Still, he held her gaze. “It doesn’t make up for what I’ve done. But it can protect your future.”
Ironic. That was all she’d ever really wanted. To feel protected and secure. “What about our future?”
“This is the best I can offer.” His voice was flat and muted.
“You’re more than a quarterback. More than a touchdown pass or an autograph.” He rescued kittens. Took care of his family. Believed in her. Nichole pointed at the envelope in his tense grip. “You’re more than the size of your bank account.”
“Are we?” He stuffed the envelope back inside his pocket and set his hands on his hips. “You’ve been so busy chasing the sale of your app, you ignored the warning signs. And for what? To increase the size of your bank account and have a couple of strangers believe in you?”
“That’s not fair.” Nichole charged off the porch onto the staircase. The door slammed behind her, blasting force into her words. “Is that what this has become? A comparison of bank balances to determine who can claim to have a more fulfilling life?”
“Look around, Nichole.” He gestured toward her home, the movement a rigid snap. “You already have that life. With or without your app sale, you win.”
She clutched the wooden railing and searched his face. Where was the Chase she knew? “Why can’t we both win?”
His smile was dark. Bitter, as if coated in contempt and dipped in cynicism. “That’s not how real life works.”
But what about love? “So, you claim defeat, pay me off and walk away.”
“I messed up your world.” That contempt scored his face. “The money can help fix that.”
“You can stick around and fix it yourself.” She launched her challenge. He’d always accepted before.
He shook his head. “I don’t belong here.”
“Why not?” She disliked the callous man standing before her. Despised the defeat in his gaze. Her heart was already broken. Still, she fought. “Because we don’t ask for your autograph enough. Don’t quote your football stats and recite your best plays.”
“People want the football star. Not a has-been. Not a former.” He stabbed his arms out to either side, punching the air.
Not me. She only ever wanted him. Just Chase. “I’m not everyone. But then again, I’m not enough, am I?”
“You’re everything.” He yanked off his baseball hat and scrubbed his hand through his hair. That bitterness fell from his words like fat raindrops. “You can’t love me.”
“Why not?” The air chilled. Or perhaps that was only the void inside her. “Why is my love so hard to accept?”
“I’ve always been damaged goods.” His arms crossed over his chest, bodyguard intense. “Except on the football field. Even my dad returned for the football player.”
But his dad had never returned for the boy. Never just Chase—his son who battled dyslexia and only ever wanted his dad’s approval. Chase had accepted her no-bonding terms in Tahoe because he’d been the boy she’d feared Wesley would become. The child waiting for the phone call from his dad or the surprise visit or the quick show of affection. He’d been that child waiting for a father who never returned and yet he’d hoped. Always hoped.
She discovered more tears—these ones for the lonely, hurt child still inside Chase. She wanted to seize his pain and hurtle the burden back onto his careless father. She pushed her words through her anger and the tears she swallowed. “Your father was the broken one, Chase. Not you.”
“Do you believe the same about your parents?” He eyed her, his voice guarded and restrained. “That it was their shortcomings, their inability to give you the stability you needed as a child. That’s why they sent you to live on the farm.”
Nichole blinked. She’d never considered that. Her grandmother always claimed her parents loved her in their own spirited fashion. But they were free spirits, wanderers, travelers. Always content to let the wind carry them away like dandelion fluff on the breeze. Whereas Nichole was like an oak, according to her grandmother. And the best thing for a tree was to plant it and let the roots grow. “I suppose it’s time I do. I suppose it’s past time we both do.”
“I can’t be the man you want me to be.” His shoulders fell, his voice deflated.
“I only want you to be Chase Baron Jacobs.” The man she loved.
“I don’t know who he is.” He tugged his cap lower on his forehead as if hiding from himself already. “Or if I even like him.”
Then how would he ever love? An all-consuming numbness seized her. She reached behind her, rapped her knuckles on the railing and left the pieces of her heart scattered on the grass. She worked her way up the stairs backward, away from Chase and everything she’d ever wanted. Her love would never be enough until he learned to love himself. She pressed against the porch door. “Then I guess we’re done here.”
He stepped forward, then caught himself. “What about launching In A Pinch?”
“It was always a long shot.” Just like his love.
ONE HOUR LATER, too restless to remain inside her empty house, Nichole slipped out her backyard gate, walked several blocks and jumped on the city bus. Brooke had invited her over for dinner. Dan and Ben had gone to Nichole’s grandparents’ farm. Wesley had asked Ben to come and learn to ride with him and the great-grandparents had promised Dan hot cherry pie after dinner.
Nichole had skipped lunch and her appetite had dwindled after Chase’s unannounced visit. Food held little appeal but being alone held even less.
Brooke opened her front door, wrapped Nichole in a long hug and ushered her inside the house she shared with Dan and Ben. No questions asked. No reprimands for being very early. No demands for an apology. Nichole leaned on her friend and walked into the kitchen.
“Nichole.” Josie rose from the kitchen table and enfolded Nichole in another warm hug. “You don’t have to talk, but we’ll listen.”
“And offer our advice.” Mia stood and walked around to expand the hug into a group one. “We always have opinions. It’s not fair to tell you that we’ll only listen.”
“I’m so sorry. So very sorry.” Nichole clung to her friends, grateful for their support. She needed them more than she’d realized. “I never should’ve lied to you guys.”
Her friends simply held on to her. Offered more support and their forgiveness, unconditional and absolute.
Nichole wiped at her damp eyes and glanced at the table. Brooke gathered photographs into a pile. Nichole asked, “What are you guys doing?”
Her friends glanced at each other, their gazes skipping from one to the other as if waiting for the other to field Nichole’s question. Nichole stepped toward the table, caught a glimpse of a crystal and beaded wedding gown and familiar lily bouquet. The same bouquet Nichole had held for the photo shoot. Those were the photographs of Nichole, pretending to be a bride. Believing in the fantasy. But fantasies were only illusions. And illusions were always shattered. Certainly, the truth had been captured in those photographs, and the lies. “Are they...”
“Stunning.” Josie squeezed Nichole’s hand. “Yes, they are.”
“And magical.” Brooke paused on a photograph and sighed. “There’s magic in every shot.”
Chase had called her stunning that day. And standing inside his embrace, she’d started to believe again in magic. It was all a lie. One big publicity stunt.
“You missed your calling, Nichole.” Mia returned to the table and picked up another 8x10 photograph. “You should’ve been a professional model.”
Models received paychecks for playing a part on camera. Chase had tried to pay Nichole, too, for the part she’d played in his publicity stunt. But the cameras hadn’t been there in Tahoe. Hadn’t recorded their conversations in front of the fire or the kitten rescue. He’d listened and shared. Held her hand with affection, kissed her with emotion. Nichole stepped to the table, clutched the back of a chair and held on to something real. “Thanks for trying to make me feel better. Now you can all stop exaggerating.”
“It’s the truth,” Brooke argued.
Josie shrugged. “And we haven’t even started trying to make you feel better. That happens later with lasagna from Mia’s mother-in-law and homemade red velvet cheesecake.”
“There’s always cheesecake and extra whipped cream for times like this.” Mia rubbed Nichole’s shoulder.
“Give me a picture.” And I’ll prove you are all wrong. Nichole held out her hand. “The stunning one. Or the magical one. Doesn’t matter.” She’d point out the truth inside each photograph and highlight the deception.
A dozen pictures later, Nichole slumped into a kitchen chair and studied a picture of Chase and her outside the cathedral. She struggled to find the deceit on his face. Or to recall the dishonesty in his embrace. She examined another one. Chase had picked her up and twirled her around. Again, only joy radiated from his face, delight widened his smile. Bliss highlighted his open gaze that was fixed completely on her.
Looking at the pictures, she forgot. Forgot he’d only been acting. Forgot he couldn’t love her. “How can we look so real? So authentic?”
“Because your feelings are real.” Mia eased the photograph out from under Nichole’s fingers. “And in this moment, so were Chase’s.”
Nichole cradled her face in her hands. “You heard him yesterday. He’d claimed it was all one big hoax.”
Then that morning he’d tried to pay her off like her ex. Claimed it was all he could offer. Ordered her not to love him. As if he could dictate her heart. Even she struggled to command her heart to withdraw. To let him go. She shoved the pictures and the memories away from her.
“I was at the pet store this morning helping Sophie with more rescues.” Brooke slid a sealed large folder-sized envelope across the table toward her. “Sophie asked me to give this to you.”
“What is it?” Nichole turned the envelope over and noted the unfamiliar law firm name in the corner.
“It’s from Drew Harrington.” Brooke hesitated as if she was working to regain her voice. “Chase asked him to look into Fund Infusion. Drew wanted you to know what he’d found.”
“Solid financials and fair business practices, I’m sure.” Nichole fingered the envelope and willed her sudden disquiet to retreat. Surely Vick and Glenn hadn’t deceived her too. Played for a fool twice in one day would be something of a new low.
“Want us to open it?” Brooke chewed on her bottom lip.
Nichole shook her head and slipped her finger under the sealed flap. The folder inside contained detailed financials. Nothing fraudulent or illegal was on the profit and loss statements. Fund Infusion was legitimate like she’d told Chase. Nichole skimmed through several pages before stopping abruptly. Everything about Fund Infusion was genuine. Everything except the company’s intentions for In A Pinch.
“What’s wrong?” Josie scooted closer to Nichole.
Brooke reached across the table and touched Nichole’s arm. “If it’s bad, we can fix it together.”
“We can’t fix this.” The same as Chase’s money couldn’t fix her broken heart. Nichole swallowed. Nothing removed the distaste. The bitter sting. “The investors want to buy my app to kill it.”
Mia gasped. “That’s not fair.”
“That’s their right if I sell my app to them.” Nichole pushed the folder away. “Their largest client is my only competitor.” And just like that, her future as an authentic and talented app designer with a program successful on a national level was ruined.
Had Chase known last night? She’d seen him talking to Drew Harrington.
“Why didn’t Chase tell you?” Josie read through the paperwork in the folder.
“I wouldn’t have listened,” Nichole admitted. She’d needed to believe in Glenn and Vick. Needed to believe she could secure her own family’s future. “But Chase offered me money today to launch In A Pinch myself.”
But he hadn’t offered her his heart. Or his love. I don’t even know who I am. Nichole squeezed her eyes closed. She knew who he was. He was the man she loved. The man she wanted to share her life with. And the man who couldn’t or wouldn’t accept her love.
“Did you take it?” Mia asked.
“Please tell me you have the money,” Brooke said.
“I refused.” Nichole stood and paced away from the table and her friends.
She’d accepted the money from her ex, used it to start her new life with Wesley. She hadn’t really wanted her ex’s heart. She saw that now. But she wanted Chase’s trust and his love more than his money. She could provide for her family and take care of Wesley like she had been for years. And now she finally understood her grandmother was right. Love was enough and all she’d ever really needed. Except she didn’t have Chase’s love.
“What if Chase actually wanted to help?” Josie rose and walked over to Nichole. “Maybe he thought he was giving you exactly what you needed for your future.”
“I need him in my future, not his money.” Nichole clutched Josie’s hands as if pleading with her friend would make Chase understand. “But he doesn’t believe me.”
Josie held on to Nichole and looked into her eyes. “Maybe you have to show him.”
“Show him what?” Nichole glanced at Brooke and Mia.
“That his love matters to you more than his money.” Brooke stepped around the table. “More than football.”
Nichole winced. “I possibly ruined his football career. Football was his life.”
“Was his life,” Mia repeated, and joined their group huddle in the middle of the kitchen. She held up the picture of Nichole and Chase. “But he could have a new life with you and Wesley.”
“I don’t know.” Nichole skipped her gaze away from her friends. Another risk. Another jump. Could she take it?
“Do you love him?” Brooke’s quiet voice pulled at Nichole.
She never hesitated. “More than I thought possible.”
“Then you need to fight for that. You need to fight for a life together.” Josie pointed at the picture. “Fight for the love in this photograph.”
“I don’t know what to do,” Nichole confessed.
Her friends wrapped their arms around her and laughed. “It’s a good thing then that we do.”