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Neal eyed me when he found me at my station. I could see him thinking, but he only said, in an injured tone, “Why didn’t you warn me you had a black belt?”
I couldn’t help but smile, a touch relieved. “I don’t like bragging.”
“Bragging? How about a warning?”
“I did warn you.”
“You could have hinted that you knew martial arts.”
“But then Randall would have lost his bet,” I reasoned. “And he is my godfather. I so hate to disappoint him.”
Neal snorted. “I see how this is going to be. I’m just another guard; I don’t even stand a chance next to Randall.”
“Nope.”
“You were supposed to deny that,” Neal muttered.
I knew he was only pretending to be hurt, but I decided to be nice anyway. “I’m just kidding, Neal. You’re almost as important as Randall.”
He snorted again but grinned. “So, why are you up here already?”
I blew out a sigh. “I had to talk to the queen.”
Neal instantly looked sympathetic. “Punishment?”
“Yes,” I muttered. “I have to practice my ballroom dancing.”
Neal looked surprised, then he laughed. “That’s not punishment.”
“Yes, it is,” I informed him. “Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to learn something that everyone has already known for their entire lives?”
A smile flashed across his face, and then a look I didn’t recognize followed, and then his face went carefully blank. I was confused, until I spotted Martin headed towards us. He didn’t speak directly to me. “Guardsman Kuzsova, when you are relieved of your duties, you will join the other off-duty guards in the ballroom with Guardswoman Joan.”
“Yes, sir,” Neal said.
Martin let his gaze linger on me, but it was detached, with an undercurrent of something I couldn’t identify but wasn’t pleasant. I faced the front again, staring silently out over the grounds as he walked to the next set of guards.
“This will be interesting,” Neal muttered.
“The him and me thing? Or the dancing?”
“Both.” He offered a wry smile. “But I really meant the dancing.”
“Are you sure you’re not being punished as well?” I asked.
He was smiling as he shook his head. “It’s not so bad. I’m just a little rusty. No balls since before the war, and the war wasn’t short.”
Now I gave a wry smile. “I’ll bet that we have the best relationship with the enemy country that anyone could have after a war. I’m sure most countries would hate the other for a while.”
“Well, that would be because of the famous Joan Ilion, owner of the diamond arrow,” he teased.
I shoved him lightly. “Or it might be because Joe and Demetri are related and King Alan and Queen Florinda aren’t big on holding grudges and the rest of you are open-minded enough to give them a chance.”
“Well, I suppose if you don’t want to get all the glory, you can be modest.”
I smiled, and we talked a little more cheerfully until Pierson came to relieve me. Then I sighed and said morosely, “Wish me luck,” and went towards the stairs.
“What?” Pierson asked.
“She’s going to learn how to be a dignitary,” Neal explained, a smile on his face.
I made a face at him as I went down the stairs and made my way to the ballroom. When I got there, I found Tatum with notes laid out in front of him. “Ah, Guardswoman Ilion, there you are.”
“Are you going to teach me?” I asked resignedly.
“I am.”
I blew out a sigh and remained standing. “Where do we start?”
His mouth twitched slightly. “We’ll start with greetings.”
“I suppose I’ll be a female when I do these and not a member of the guard?” I inquired.
“Yes,” he said briskly. “You are a representative first and foremost, so you must curtsey and not bow as a guard would.”
I nodded.
“You must also learn how to recognize foreign dignitaries, as well as know how to greet them. As our representative, and because of how well known you are, you must always have a good image for the face of Valeria.”
“I understand.”
He gave me a stern look. “That means that the scandal of your relationship with the Captain of the Royal Guard must be farthest from their minds and you cannot do anything to remind them of that scandal.”
“Would that be the scandal of the relationship, or the scandal of the breakup?” I asked flatly.
“Both, to be honest, guardswoman. There is always a scandal when an overseer has a relationship, no matter what kind, with a person under him or her. There will be lots of people asking you questions, and you must be prepared to face them,” he said briskly, unperturbed. “All I can do is council you to keep your temper and watch what you say.”
“I can handle it,” I said evenly.
He dropped the subject. “Then, as proper to your rank, how would you greet a foreign dignitary of the same rank as you?”
“I don’t even know what my rank is. I’m not sure of my status within the guards, much less when I’m not a guard.”
“You are part of the Elite Guard.” Tatum looked slightly surprised I didn’t know this. “Which is why you have the honor of being the princess’s guard.”
I was taken aback. “You mean I was part of the Elite Guard before?” I put my hands on my hips. “Well, what about now?”
“You are a diplomat,” Tatum explained patiently. “It is your natural place as you are the only adult from the Flip Side to ever come here. You are officially in charge of our activities there.”
“Where does that put me in the ranking system?”
“Diplomats have quite a bit of power. You would be a little below the Captain of Valeria’s position.”
“Yeah?” I was inordinately pleased. “How do I rank compared to governesses?”
“She is below you as you are part of the Elite Guard. When it comes to dealing with Princess Mari, you are her equal.”
I was immediately ticked that someone hadn’t told me that. “Good to know.”
I performed my curtseys for a straight hour, with occasional corrections by Tatum. Every person deserved some sort of acknowledgment. From the sight curtseys to a servant to the full, sweeping subservience to a king or queen, I practiced them all, with all the different levels in between. He would correct my posture, the depth of my curtsey, the position of my head, the angle of my curtsey, and how long I held it, finally calling a halt so I could stand straight again and uncrick my neck. Then, he pulled out pictures and taught me to recognize all the foreign royalty and the different ranks of people. Giving the wrong greeting was a huge insult, especially if I gave someone a greeting that would go to someone of lower class. Giving someone a higher status greeting was just considered ignorant. I was busy studying these pictures when the guards started trickling in and I only looked up when Charlene came in, her voice instantly catching my attention. It was then I noticed that there was a small orchestra here as well as other women from the castle. The queen came into the ballroom, and everyone instantly curtseyed or bowed and paid attention.
“This is for those going with the peace conference,” she said. “Since I have been reminded that not everyone may remember how to act as a foreign dignitary and may possibly be a touch rusty on their waltzing skills, you are here to practice, so we can be assured that the Valerians will know how to act at these gatherings.” She motioned to Martin, who I now noticed. “Captain Gonhiad.”
Martin moved to the center of the room, and Charlene instantly strutted forward to stand by Martin.
“Men, when you greet a lady, you bow, and offer your hand. Ladies, when a man offers his hand, you curtsey, then take his hand.”
I felt a twinge of jealousy as Martin bowed, murmuring, “My lady,” to Charlene. She curtseyed and took his hand. The orchestra started playing. I admitted to myself then that I was full-out jealous, because Martin and Charlene were waltzing beautifully and Charlene was looking like a true lady while Martin looked completely comfortable holding her in his arms. I ignored the stares I could feel boring into my back, instead trying to focus on how they were dancing instead of the fact that it wasn’t me held in his arms.
When the song ended, he released her, and bowed again. “Thank you, my lady.”
She curtseyed, then faced the crowd, moving next to Martin, a little smirk on her face.
“If all of you were paying attention, you saw the correct way to finish a dance, for both the man and the woman.” She turned to the couple, it hurt immensely to think that they were a couple, and said, “Since both of you are busy, and you both know the correct way to act at a ball, you may return to your duties.”
Both of them bowed and curtseyed properly, then left, Charlene attached to Martin’s side while I tried not to glare.
“All of you will have to know how to do this, and participate in the dancing,” the queen said.
I sighed. “Is it too late to resign?”
“Is there a problem?” Florinda asked.
I flushed as every eye turned to me. “I don’t know how to dance like that.” And seeing Charlene gliding around the floor didn’t help my self-confidence. I hated how I couldn’t stop comparing myself to her, wondering what she had that I didn’t.
Liam stepped in front of me and bowed. “My lady?” He offered me his hand and I hesitantly took it. He led me to the middle of the floor. Following what I’d seen, I rested my hand on the outside of his shoulder, and his hand rested just below my shoulder blade. “Waltzes are simple,” he said calmly, as if I weren’t a total idiot for not knowing how to dance. “They have three beats, always, and the first beat is the strong beat. Just follow my lead.”
I swallowed and tensed.
“Relax,” he said. “Not so stiff. You have to be able to bend without breaking.” He stepped and I followed instantly. The hand at my shoulder blade was giving me direction to his movements, and I found with delight that I was following quite well. He smiled at me. “See? And you can waltz.”
“Very good, my dear,” Florinda called.
“Thank you,” I whispered to him as the others, and their partners, came out on the dance floor with us.
“It’s not so bad,” he said softly. “Take it easy on yourself, Joan. We’re not going to laugh at you or think you’re ignorant.”
“Well, you probably should because I am,” I whispered back.
He smiled a little. “Yes, but you’re always armed. And as you’ve recently proven, we’d lose against you.”
“Now, everyone,” the queen instructed. “Greet the lady and ladies respond.”
The orchestra started up, and everyone greeted their partners, and then we started to dance. Liam continued giving quiet instructions, telling me the steps before moving into a spin, or before I was supposed to take a step. I was flushed from the exertion when we stopped, a little surprised at how much I’d enjoyed that.
“Now, switch partners,” Florinda instructed.
Before I could worry about not knowing how to do that, Remy appeared next to Liam. “May I claim a dance?” he inquired, half to me and half to Liam, a teasing sparkle in his eyes.
Liam winked at me and moved to a pretty woman dressed in bright pink while Remy bowed correctly, offering his hand. “My lady.”
I curtseyed and took his hand. “I thought you were on duty.”
“All of the Elite Guard has to come,” he explained. “It wouldn’t look good if the best of the guards was rude and ignorant in such an important event as a ball.” He paused a moment, spinning me in a twirl, then pulling me easily back into the dance. “Hmm, it seems you’re naturally graceful.”
“And it would seem that you’ve done this before.” He moved with ease, somehow staying out of the way of my clumsy feet while I still tried to learn. “While anyone could tell that I haven’t.”
“You just have to feel the rhythm. Listen for the beat. Even when you break away for a moment, it’s only a subdivision, and you fall right back in.”
I focused on my feet for a minute, trying to land exactly with the music. Occasionally I would get off, and then I would have to focus on where the beat was while trying not to step on Remy’s feet. When that song ended, we switched partners again, and I found myself with Neal.
“How’s the punishment?” he asked.
“I think I remember why I watched the dances instead of participating.”
He laughed. “I don’t think you waltzed in the Flip Side.”
“No,” I admitted. “But I don’t like dancing. It’s too much work, and I hate people staring at me.”
“It’s only work now,” he chided. “Once you get the hang of it, it’ll be fun and as easy as...as throwing a knife.”
I laughed with him.
Florinda dismissed groups after each dance, which meant they passed inspection. When there were only ten remaining people, she said, “All of you have done very well. You may return to your duties.” She motioned me forward.
“That means I didn’t pass,” I said dryly as I approached.
“It’s understandable, since you are still learning about our way of life,” she said. “Find a partner, and both of you will practice waltzing twice a week with Tatum.”
I looked at him. “Jack of all trades, aren’t you?”
He gave a rare smile. “We will meet down here every day, Guardswoman, except Sunday.”
I muttered under my breath about already graduating from college while Florinda laughed silently. “Go on, Joan,” she said, her voice shaking slightly with her laughter.
I took off, relieved I was done embarrassing myself for the day, and came to an abrupt halt at the top of the stairs; Martin was waiting.
“Sir?” I asked, trying to keep my voice cool.
“Your sister has gotten in trouble. I thought you would wish to handle it.”
I gave a mental sigh. How had she gotten in trouble already?
He was waiting, eyes inscrutable.
“Yes, sir, I’ll handle it. Where is she?”
“I’ll take you.”
I was afraid that Charlene was a part of this and tried not to grimace as I followed Martin outside.
Charlene wasn’t there. Instead, it was Mark, an apology clear in his brown eyes. “Sorry, Joan.”
“I don’t think you’re the one that needs to be apologizing,” I said frostily, looking sternly at Cathy who was staring guiltily at the ground. “What happened?”
“She stole a horse...”
“It was my horse,” she muttered.
Mark continued. “And she was headed for the gate.”
“So what?” Cathy muttered just loud enough for me to hear.
“Catherine, go upstairs to your room,” I ordered. “And you had best be there when I get there.”
She sullenly jerked out of Mark’s grip and headed for the castle. Once she was out of earshot I asked, “What did she do wrong?”
Mark understood that I was unaware of this rule and explained. “Passage through the gate is expressly forbidden, since we have to remain a secret. We used to execute people who tried to pass through the gate without permission.”
I sighed. “I apologize for my sister. Is she going to be punished or do I handle that?”
“This time, it’s up to you,” Martin interjected. “Next time, the king and queen will have to deal with it.”
“Thank you, Mark,” I said to him. To Martin, I said, “Sir, I would like to go handle it now.”
He nodded and I curtseyed and left, knowing Mark was recognizing the differences in how we were behaving already. I hadn’t ever shown this much formality to Martin before, and he wouldn’t have stood for it. But formality was easy to fall back on. It kept things distant and impersonal.
Cathy was in our room, sitting sullenly on the bed. “I didn’t steal the horse,” she blurted out the instant the door opened. “It was my horse and nobody in the stables minded.”
I closed the door and remained standing. “Why were you going to the Flip Side?”
She looked grumpy. “Because I wanted to. I was bored. But Mark said I couldn’t.”
“He was right.”
This didn’t improve her temper. “Why not?” she demanded.
I had to be careful of how I handled this. Cathy was getting to the point in her life where she became the rebellious teenager, and while I was essentially her mother, I was actually her sister. If I didn’t use reason, she’d ignore me in the future. I didn’t have my father here to help. “Cathy, the people in Valeria hide from those in the Flip Side, remember?”
“Yes, I remember,” she said in a ‘duh’ tone of voice.
“Watch your tone,” I said sharply. “You did not ask permission to go to the Flip Side, not mine, and not the king and queen’s. The next time you try to go to the Flip Side without permission, their highnesses may very well throw you in the dungeon. They used to execute people for trying to cross the gate into the Flip Side. And no one was going to miss you suddenly appearing on a horse in the middle of town when we’re supposed to be hours away.”
“Oh,” Cathy said meekly.
“Yes, ‘oh’.” I said shortly. “There are rules, Catherine. Rules that you have to obey; my rules and Valerian rules. If you had asked, someone would have told you that it requires permission to go to the Flip Side. I have enough problems. I don’t need you creating more.”
She instantly became apologetic. “I’m sorry, Joan,” she mumbled.
I relented. “The next time you get bored, would you come to me first?” I asked gently.
She nodded.
“Come on, then. Mari’s waiting for us.”
She perked up and followed me out of the room. Mari was waiting for us in the library. “Cathy!” she cried. “There you are! Let’s play Frisbee! I haven’t played in forever!”
Cathy nodded happily and the girls ran for the door.
“Walk,” I said sternly.
They slowed enough so that I could keep up, but the moment they hit the door, they were running as fast as they could. I stood along the wall, watching. I was a little relaxed, at ease in the shadow, when I saw Charlene and Martin. I immediately stiffened.
Charlene was hanging on Martin’s arm, her face turned adoringly to Martin, so much so that I wanted to gag. Martin looked completely happy to have her with him. I felt a little twinge of pain and a great deal of anger.
I forced my gaze to Mari and Cathy, but couldn’t help watching the two of them from out of the corner of my eye. I saw Charlene spot me, then, in a petty move with a little smirk in my direction, she plastered herself to Martin and kissed him. To my horror, he started to kiss her back.
I couldn’t stand to watch anything more than that as my heart twisted a little more, and I closed my eyes. How could he say he loves me, and then kiss her? I thought as I forced myself to look elsewhere. How could he say he wants me back, and then walk around with her like that?
Martin and Charlene were gone when I looked up. I felt relief while my heart continued to ache with the memory. Pathetic, I thought to myself. I am so pathetic.