Chapter Fifteen

Cole was far too distracted to register much of Wade’s conversation as they walked to Jack’s.

A ball of dread churned in his gut; anxiety charged through his veins. He hadn’t been sure how Jane would react to seeing him again. He’d hoped she’d throw herself into his arms and tell him she loved him, too, but given her level of withdrawal in Denver, he’d thought she might be a bit standoffish.

He hadn’t expected an outright rejection.

He hadn’t expected her to be so adamantly against him. Refusing even the possibility that he might know his own feelings and what he wanted. Sure, he understood falling in love in two weeks wasn’t the norm. He got that she and others might even think he was a little bit crazy.

But surely she could see it was possible.

She’d looked so certain, though; so sure. So distant. And he was worried sick he wouldn’t be able to reach her. As a rugby player, he knew all about obstacles. He knew how to dodge them and how to go around them and even how to bust right through them if required. He’d done it on the field, and he’d done it in his recovery with his injury.

But that wasn’t going to work here.

Reaching Jane, convincing her to let him be part of her and Finn’s life, was obviously going to require delicacy and negotiation and patience. Not something rugby players were known for. But he knew about persistence, about the long game, and if that’s how he had to play it, he would. If he had to leave here empty-handed and keep checking in on her, keep dropping by as a friend to visit her and Finn, show her he wasn’t going anywhere, show her he could be a constant in her life, be someone who was there for her and Finn, then he’d do that, too.

Now, thanks to Doug Swan, he could play the long game.

“Wade!”

Cole realized, as Tucker’s voice rang across the bar, they were inside Jack’s. Fuck…he really was distracted.

“I heard you got in this morning,” Tucker said as he came out from behind the bar. “Was wondering when you were going to get your ass here. Or are you too good for us now, with your fancy magazine shoots?”

“Ha!” Wade and Tucker did a manly shoulder-check hug thing. Followed by Arlo in his uniform and Drew who was also at the bar. It felt very déjà vu for Cole. Did these guys live at Jack’s?

“This is Cole,” Wade introduced.

“Yeah, we know who he is,” Drew said. “We thought he was a lost tourist the day he came in here, until he told us he was staying at your place.”

“A tourist?” Wade frowned. “He must’ve been very lost.”

Tucker grinned. “Then Arlo talked him into running a rugby clinic for the kids a couple of weeks ago.”

Wade cocked an eyebrow at Cole. “Was it the gun?”

“Screw you, buddy,” Arlo said, feigning insult. “It was my dazzling personality.”

“Okay, sure.” Wade grinned.

Cole smiled at the banter, but it felt tight on his face. He just wanted to leave already and get back to Wade’s. “I didn’t mind. Gave me something to do.”

They all sat at the bar, both Drew and Arlo moving one stool over to accommodate Wade and Cole in the middle. Cole propped his cane against the bar as Tucker resumed his place behind it and asked, “Beer?”

Both Cole and Wade nodded, and Cole watched absently, his brain ticking away, as Tucker grabbed four bottles of Bud from the under-bar fridge opposite. Cracking the lids, he put one down in front of each man, then grabbed one for himself and cracked it, too. The bar wasn’t very busy, only a couple of booths occupied.

“How do they toast in Australia, Cole?”

Cole raised his bottle. “Up your bum.”

There was a moment of stunned silence before Drew laughed, raised his bottle, and said, “Up your bum,” and everyone joined in.

A conversation about different toasts, which somehow vaguely morphed to football, ensued, but Cole was barely listening. All he could hear in his head was Jane saying people don’t fall in love in two weeks. It bounced around and around, getting bigger and bigger, a seemingly impossible task to refute. He understood it was a surprise for her to hear him say it, but it was the truth.

Question was, what if she never believed him?

“Don’t you think, Cole?”

It took a beat or two for Cole to realize three sets of eyeballs were waiting for him to say something. Fuck, what were they talking about? “Um…sorry, I checked out there for a bit.”

Tucker gave a half laugh. “That’s cool. We all check out when Wade rambles on about his glory days.”

“Bite me,” Wade said as he flipped the bird. He didn’t look too insulted, and Cole got the impression these guys enjoyed talking smack with one another.

“So…” Wade eyed him for long moments. As did the other three. “I get the feeling something was going down back at the house. With you and Jane?”

Cole didn’t say anything, but Tucker looked at him speculatively. “You and Jane are a thing, huh?”

Fuck. Now what did he say? He couldn’t say yes, because they weren’t a thing, as she’d been at pains to point out. No matter how much he wished they were. But he couldn’t deny how he felt, either. Surely it was written all over his fucking face?

Tucker laughed then. “Wow. You got it bad, huh?”

Okay yeah…all over his face. “No, I… It’s not like that.”

“Really?” Tucker took a swig of his drink. “Looks like love to me.”

“And you ought to know,” Wade butted in derisively. “With your PhD in bar psychology.”

“Oh puh-lease.” Drew rolled his eyes. “Tucker doesn’t need that. He’s been such a sap since getting with Arlo’s sister, he sees love everywhere.”

Arlo put his beer down. “Do we really need to remind me this bozo is getting with my sister?” he grouched good-naturedly.

“Yeah,” Tucker said. “Do we?”

“We do when you both react so well,” Wade said with a grin, tapping his beer with Drew’s.

Cole didn’t know that Della was Arlo’s sister until just now. He gathered from the subtext there was a story there, but clearly it was in the past.

“So?” Wade prompted, refocusing Cole on the issue at hand. “What are you going to do about it? You love her, don’t you?”

Drew sighed and shook his head. “Another dude who drank the Kool-Aid and wants to see everyone loved up.”

Arlo raised his beer to Drew. “It’s going around.”

Wade ignored them both. He appeared to be very happily drunk on the Kool-Aid. “So, what’s the problem?”

Cole contemplated keeping his own counsel for a beat or two, but that hadn’t worked out so well for him up to this point, and maybe a bunch of dudes might understand his dilemma. Or at least speak the same language. A couple of them were even in relationships, so they could have a useful perspective. Maybe even some advice.

“Is it because you live in Australia?” Wade asked. “Because long-distance relationships can work. They’re harder, sure, but if you’re both dedicated enough.”

“No. I actually have a job here now.”

“Yeah?” Wade’s face lit up. “Really?”

“Yeah. I’m talent scouting for Rugby Australia. There’ll be a bit of travel, but they don’t care where I work out of, as long as it’s in the U.S.”

“That’s great, man.” Wade grinned and shook Cole’s hand vigorously. “Looks like we’ll be seeing more of each other.”

Cole smiled. “Yeah, I hope so.” Even if he and Jane never came to anything, he wanted this job. Talking to Ronan Dempsey in Denver had given him such a buzz—much more than the prospect of sportscasting. The idea that he could help shape the Australian rugby landscape in the future by securing the best players from here and around the world was so fucking exciting.

He felt useful—valued—and he was raring to go. But it would be nothing without Jane.

Congratulations over, Wade quickly got back to their conversation. “And what’d Jane say to you sticking around?”

“I didn’t tell her. We got sidetracked by small things, like whether it was possible to fall in love after two weeks.” His lips twisted derisively. “And then you came along.”

“Oh shit, man, I’m sorry.”

Drew clapped Wade on the back. “Good one, dude.”

“Well, what are we doing sticking around here?” Wade stood and quickly drained his beer bottle. “We should get back so you can finish.”

Cole shook his head and stared morosely at his beer bottle. “I don’t think she wants to hear it, anyway.”

“She doesn’t love you?”

“I don’t know.” Prior to this, Cole would’ve said that she did, or she was certainly on her way. They’d been close, even if it had only been for a short time. And it hadn’t been one-sided; he’d lay money on that. “I thought maybe she did, but… She doesn’t believe I could have fallen for her so quickly, so I’ve gotta assume she doesn’t reciprocate—otherwise she’d understand where I was coming from. I mean, I get it…she’s a single mum. She has a kid to think about. Of course she can’t just dive into something headfirst after a couple of weeks. I know that. But I’m okay with taking it slow.”

“Does she know that?”

“I didn’t get around to telling her that, either.”

“Man.” Drew shook his head at Wade. “For one of the NFL’s greatest-ever quarterbacks, your timing sucks. Don’t ever take up couples counseling.”

Wade snorted. “Says the Dr. Phil of funeral directors.”

“It’s okay,” Cole dismissed. “We probably needed to regroup anyway.” It had given him a little time and space to think. He hadn’t expected this much resistance, and it had thrown him for a bit of a loop.

“Well, consider yourself regrouped.” Wade slapped him on the back. “Now, drink up. You got to get back there. You got to explain about the job, about how you’re sticking around and how you’re willing to take it slow.”

“Yep.” Tucker nodded. “You gotta give her all the facts. So she can make an informed choice.”

“And a little begging never killed anyone,” Wade added. “I’d have crawled on my knees all the way to California for CC.”

“Dude.” Tucker shook his head with a laugh. “You practically did.”

Wade grinned. “Right. And now we’re married with a baby on the way.”

Married. Once upon a time, that word had put chills up Cole’s spine. He would have seen it as an impediment to his career. Right now, he wanted to grab it with both hands.

“That’s what I want,” Cole said, although not even marriage seemed like a big enough commitment right now. “Marriage, kids…if she wants more. The whole shebang. If she wants me, I’m in for the long haul. I did tell her that.”

“You know…” Drew tapped his chin. “If Winona was here, she’d say we need a grand gesture.”

“Right.” Tucker nodded. “Talk’s cheap. Actions speak louder than words.”

“A grand gesture,” Cole repeated, chewing that over. Something to prove he was in it for the long haul. That he was committed to her and Finn and to making a life together.

Asking her to marry him would sure accomplish that. It might not change her mind, but at least she’d know he wanted all in. A sudden streak of inspiration hit him. He glanced at Tucker. “I don’t suppose you’ve got a pair of needle-nose pliers somewhere I could borrow?”

Arlo’s face screwed into a comic mask of what the fuck. “Um…I don’t think you know how grand gestures work.”

“No, it’s fine.” Drew shook his head dismissively at Arlo’s clear puzzlement. “They don’t always have to be a flash mob, Arlo. They just have to be personal. Something that has meaning to the other person.”

“Well thank you, Dr. Phil,” Arlo said derisively, “but when a guy says needle-nose pliers in relation to a woman, my handcuffs tend to get twitchy.”

Cole did laugh at that. For the first time since Jane had opened the door to him, he felt like all was not lost. Even if she did send him packing, he’d go knowing he’d left it all out on the field like the damn fine rugby player he was.

And let the cards fall where they may.

…

Jane was curled up in a stately wingback chair in the red sitting room with a hot cup of tea when she heard the front door open. She heard a male voice that must’ve been Wade’s, because it wasn’t Cole, but she didn’t have to see or hear him to know Cole was also in the house. She could sense him in her bones. It had been close to two hours since they’d left, and she’d pretty much cried for that entire time, with CC offering her both tea and sympathy in equal measure.

The last thing she’d expected to find in Credence, Colorado, was love. She sure as shit hadn’t been in the market for it.

But it had found her anyway.

And she’d thought about that a lot since Cole and Wade had left. She’d turned this whole shitty situation over and over in her head ad nauseam, starting with all the reasons she couldn’t be with Cole. He was from another country. She couldn’t just pick up her life—take her son out of America and away from his father and his grandparents. Tad would probably fight her in court over it, and she wouldn’t blame him. And then there was her business. She could run it remotely or install a manager, but she didn’t want to.

It was hers. She had built it up from nothing, and she loved it.

Then she’d moved on to how she could make it work with Cole. The compromises she could make, because goddamn it, she did love him, and did it make her such a terrible mom to want to be loved by someone? To have adult love in her life?

She could tell Cole she couldn’t go to Australia but she was willing to make a long-distance relationship work. They could travel back and forth. She could go there for a couple of weeks every three months. Maybe longer, if Tad stepped up like he’d indicated he was going to. And Cole could reciprocate.

That would be six times a year.

She could take Finn for a vacation to Australia—she didn’t think Tad would object to that—and they could stay for three or four weeks. Cole could have his vacation time in the states, too. So that took it to eight times a year, which could work out to be four or five months.

That was doable, right?

It would require a lot of juggling and meticulous planning, and even thinking about all those long-haul flights made her tired, but if they were committed? And everything went okay with the business and with Finn and Cole’s new job…

And if it didn’t?

She was back at square one with everything falling apart. With arguments and resentments flaring like spot fires as exhaustion exacerbated everything. And hurting Finn. She would be hurt as well, but Finn…? She couldn’t even bear the thought of what it might do to her little boy.

She glanced over to the doorway as she heard footsteps approaching. Cole’s footsteps. She slid out of the chair, sniffling as she dabbed at her nose with a tissue. God alone knew what she must look like. Her eyes felt gritty, the skin around them tight. They were probably all red, too, leaving little doubt to anyone but the legally blind that she’d been bawling.

He appeared suddenly, looking just as delicious as he had a couple of hours ago. His gaze travelled across the room, seeking hers, and she braced for his concern, but it didn’t quite reach her before it was distracted by the surroundings. Cole’s eyes flicked over to the drapes at the windows, then to the fireplace as his feet carried him into the room. As he got into the center, he looked up at the chandelier before he finally transferred his attention to the floor.

“Hell…Jane…” He glanced at her quickly before looking back at the parquetry, sweeping the sole of a shoe back and forth over the wooden surface. He crouched, leaning into his cane as he eased down, his hands caressing the gloss like a true connoisseur. He looked up at her. “It’s…” He shook his head. “Magnificent. You’re brilliant.” He looked around him again, using his cane for purchase as he pushed to his feet. “It’s amazing.”

Jane gave a half smile, pride swelling despite her misery. She ground her feet into the floor to stop herself from walking right into his arms.

“You must be really happy with the way it turned out.”

“Yeah.” She cleared her throat because her voice sounded a little croaky after all the crying. “It’s far better than I even imagined.”

He tipped his head back to inspect the chandelier again. “The magazine people are going to love this.” Rainbows of light played across his shirt and danced down his throat, and god help her, she wanted to press her mouth there so badly. Lay her head against his shirt and listen to the steady thump of his heart beneath her ear.

“It should photograph well.”

Jane couldn’t take her eyes off him; she was powerless to look away as he stood under the magnificent specimen of Czech crystal craftsmanship. Given his own magnificent-specimen status, it seemed fitting. She watched until he was no longer staring up, his face slowly lowering until his eyes were firmly fixed on hers, and she was just as powerless to look away as his gaze roamed thoroughly over her face.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

No. She wasn’t. She should be. She should be on top of the world on the eve of the magazine shoot that had the potential to catapult her business into the stratosphere. She was broken.

“What if I did love you?”

The question was clunky and sounded awkward as fuck in this grand old room where people would have once spoken in subtleties, but the time for avoidance and pretending this was something else was behind her. The minute she’d admitted it out loud—to CC Carter, of all people—it was behind her. She loved him. Now she had to work out how to move forward.

He took a step in her direction. “Do you?”

“What then?” she asked, ignoring his question and the husky note in his voice, because her loving him was neither here nor there. And no, it wasn’t lost on her that the one thing that had seemed liked the biggest hurdle not that long ago—falling in love with Cole—was the least problematic right now.

“How does that even work?”

He shoved his hands in his pockets, obviously trying to quell any urge to reach for her as he just as obviously chose his words carefully. “However you want it to work.”

Jane gave a small grunt. Good freaking answer. But she needed specifics. If this was going to work, it was going to need a concrete plan. “Okay. I’ve been thinking, and this isn’t a green light or anything, because I honestly don’t think it can work. It’s just spitballing for the moment.”

“Okay.”

His response was measured, but she could hear the echo of hope in the huskiness of his voice. “I could visit you in Australia once every few weeks. For, say, a couple of weeks at a time. I think between Tad and his parents and mine, I could manage that with Finn’s care, but—”

“Wait.” He shook his head vigorously, cutting her off. “No.”

Propelling himself forward, he crossed the space between them pretty damn fast for a man hampered by a cane and a limp. Before she knew it, he was standing within touching distance, and every cell in her body was humming with electricity.

“Cole…” She held up her hand in case he decided to come any closer. She couldn’t think when he was so close.

“No, Jane…please let me explain.” He reached for her hands, and instead of refusing, she let him take them, because he was close and she was weak—damn it. “I turned the sportscasting job down.”

Jane blinked. What now? “You did?”

“I did. I appreciate”—he smiled then, and so did she—“more than you know that you are even thinking about flying back and forth around the globe for me, but you don’t need to, and I would never ask you to do that. To spend such long periods away from Finn. I got offered a job here, in the U.S., with the main rugby body in Australia, doing a bunch of different stuff, but mainly talent scouting. American rugby players for Aussie teams.” He squeezed her hands. “I’m not leaving. I’m staying right where I am.”

Jane couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Really?” Her brain crowded with possibilities and questions all tumbling over each other. “Where are you going to be based?”

“I can base myself wherever I want. I was hoping California…” He smiled at her, and Jane’s heart fluttered madly. “There’ll be travel involved, but it’ll be mostly overnighters with some occasional longer trips to Europe.”

“That’s what the meetings were about?”

He nodded. “Yep.”

“But…” Jane shook her head, not daring to believe it could be that simple. In fact, knowing it still wasn’t. Cole being in America—in California—was a big hurdle to knock over, but there were still others. “I thought you wanted the sportscasting job?”

“No. Not really. It was there, and I thought it was my only option to keep me in the rugby realm, but the reality is, I want you more. And talking to Ronan in Denver was way more exciting than the prospect of being on someone’s idiot box every Saturday night. I’m here to stay, and I want to be with you.”

Jane’s pulse accelerated. That sounded damn fine to her, and it’d be so easy to just throw caution to the wind and go for it. But this was the time she had to get it right. If this thing was to happen—and she did want it to happen—then she had to start as she meant to go on.

“Okay…so you’re here. But there are other things to consider, Cole.”

“I know.” He nodded and moved forward again, their bodies still separate but only by the distance of their conjoined hands. “We’re going to have to tread carefully for Finn’s sake, take things slowly. I’m fine with being just Cole, just your friend, for as long as you think he needs. I know I won’t be able to stay over and we have to do this at his pace. I know that, and I’m perfectly fine with it. You get to call the shots here, Jane. You and Finn.”

She shook her head as the sound of another hurdle falling over ricocheted around her head. “It’s not just Finn you’re getting. It’s Tad, too. Who can be frustrating and unreliable and incredibly self-centered, but the thing is, he’s always going to be in my life and Finn’s life and your life, too, if this thing happens. And it can’t be acrimonious, Cole. It can’t be tense. I will not allow it. I will not turn Finn’s childhood into a battlefield.”

“Jane.” He lifted a hand and stroked it down the side of her face, and she wanted nothing more than to shut her eyes and rub her cheek into the caress. “If you think I would ever make a child’s life the hell that was mine, then you really don’t know me at all.”

And bang went another hurdle.

“It’s not just Tad you’ll be inheriting through me, you know. It’s his parents and whoever might one day be in Tad’s future. A…stepmom.”

Jane cringed at the thought, even though she knew it was possible. In fact, highly probable. Anxiety crawled up her throat, her breath catching there at the mere thought. As if he knew the consternation it caused her, Cole drew her gently into his arms, and she went, pressing her ear to his chest, hearing that reassuring thump of his heart as he rested his chin on her head.

“I’m here for that,” he murmured. “Whatever you need from me.”

Another hurdle tumbled as his voice rumbled into her ear so seductively that Jane actually sighed. She shut her eyes and burrowed in a little closer, forgetting for a moment that this was impossible. “His parents are really nice. They’ll like you.”

“I hope so. I want to be part of your lives, Jane, and if that means being part of Tad’s and his extended family’s, too, then bring it on. I didn’t expect to fall in love when I came to America, but I did, and that’s never happened to me before. Not like this. When I commit to someone, I commit. That’s why I want to marry you.”

Jane’s eyes sprang open. “What?” Her breath hitched. She took a step back, his arms falling away.

“I want to marry you.”

Leaning into his cane again, he got down on his left knee, his expensively tailored trousers looking bizarrely perfect there on her beautifully polished floor. Jane gasped. Out loud. “Cole…” Her voice shook. “What are you doing?”

“I’m proposing.”

Proposing? Jane’s pulse raced. What the hell? “Cole. Get up.”

He shook his head. “No. It’s okay. I know you think that at some stage I’m going to get tired of an instant family and the challenges of loving you and Finn and just bug out on you. But I’m not going to. I told you I was here for the long haul, and I meant it. I want marriage and more kids, if that’s what you want, or just Finn if not, and I want to make that official. You don’t have to say yes now; this is just my unofficial notice of intention. My way of showing you I’m serious about forever.”

He shoved a hand into his pocket, and Jane’s heart almost stopped. This was crazy, he was crazy, and her heart almost exploded with love.

“I’m sorry that I don’t have an engagement or a promise ring,” he said, “but I have this.” Jane blinked as Cole pulled out a pair of needle-nose pliers. “When I look back now, I think you threatening me with a pair of pliers was the moment I fell in love with you.”

What the hell? That had been within the first minute of their acquaintance.

“I know,” he said with a wry smile, as if he could read her mind. “I know that sounds crazy. I didn’t know you from Adam, and I was jet-lagged to hell and in pain, but your fierceness grabbed me by the gut. You were such a mama lion, and something deep inside me understood you were a force to be reckoned with, and it was right.”

Jane nodded, recognizing the sincerity in his words, hearing the truth of them and suddenly knowing her own truth. After denying that anyone could fall in love so quickly, she knew the exact moment for her, too. “For me, it was you making the tire swing for Finn.”

Cole shrugged. “Every kid needs a tire swing.”

No. Every kid needed a man who was going to make tire swings for them. Be there for them. Who was going to show up. And this man, who she loved despite all and any sensible, rational thinking, wanted to be there for Finn—for her—even more.

He thrust the pliers at her, and she noticed for the first time there was a small note card attached to one of the handles with some kind of red ribbon. In big, bold ink, it said I do.

“Take these as a symbol of our relationship and as a token of my unswerving commitment to you. Give them back to me when you and Finn are ready to take the ultimate step, and I’ll swap it for a ring so damn big they can see it on the moon.”

Jane’s heart melted to a puddle of goo in her chest. She didn’t need a ring, huge or otherwise, and it’d probably only be a liability in her line of work, but the fact Cole was willing to wait, that he understood it wasn’t just her decision?

She did need that. She needed to know he could be patient with the fact she’d never just truly be Jane alone. But…

“What if it takes years?” she whispered, her voice suddenly stupidly husky.

“I’ll wait.”

Tears pricked the backs of Jane’s eyes as she took the pliers from Cole’s hands, her fingertips caressing the note card. “Much appreciated,” she murmured with a smile.

He growled low in his throat. “You know I’m going to have to kiss you now.”

“I hope so.”

Using his cane, Cole pushed to his feet, and Jane stepped right into his embrace, her arms circling his waist, her hands a little trembly. “I love you,” she said, gazing up into his eyes, not quite believing that this man wanted her—loved her. Had given her a pair of needle-nose pliers as a symbol of his commitment to her.

She’d never been so damn swept off her feet in her life.

“I love you, too,” he whispered, lowering his mouth to hers, drowning her in his heat and his hardness and the headiness of his aftershave, and she knew if they couldn’t make it, then nobody could.

“Why don’t we move this upstairs?” Jane said, pulling out of the kiss before she debauched him on her pristine, magazine-shoot-ready parquetry.

“I like your thinking,” he murmured, grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the room.

They hurried across the entrance hall together, stumbling a little in their haste, Jane’s pulse and libido tripping almost as much as her feet. They got to the bottom of the sweeping staircase and stopped as Cole switched his cane to the other hand and grabbed for the railing.

“I really wish I could carry you up these stairs,” he confessed. “It’d be a very dashing way to round off my proposal.”

Jane smiled. “As long as I don’t have to carry you, I’m good.” She slipped an arm around his waist, relieving him of his cane. “How about we go up side by side, together?”

“Mmm.” He dropped a kiss on her mouth. “I like the sound of that.”

Yeah. So did she. Jane liked it very much indeed.