Helena scrubbed at her belly with the rough washcloth that had been waiting in the safe house bathroom. The water steamed around her, hot enough to turn her skin pink. She couldn’t remember the details of removing the spell; the last thing she wanted was for Juniper to come home and sense something was wrong. She hoped heat and force would be enough.
She dropped the washcloth, her skin rubbed raw, and leaned up against the cool shower tile. Somehow she had held herself together on the cab ride home. Somehow she’d made it into the safe house and into the shower. Somehow she’d scrubbed herself clean.
Her skin burned. She breathed in the hot steam and tried not to think about the shower she had taken last night in the trailer. About Aleksi’s fingers tracing the scar over her heart.
She missed him.
The realization hit her sharp and sudden and confusing. How could she miss him, after what she’d seen him do?
Even though he stopped himself. Even though he let her go. Even though she wasn’t Lineage anymore. Even though she was somehow able to perform Infernal magic as a human being. He was still a demon. He had still tried to kill Juniper.
Helena switched off the water, dried herself, slunk to the bedroom. The house was restless but quiet. Juniper wasn’t back yet.
She stretched out on the bed. Thoughts of Aleksi came trickling in, and the tight grip of loss in her chest deepened. She stopped trying to argue with herself that she shouldn’t still want him, and instead melted into the memories: Aleksi up onstage, screaming into the microphone; Aleksi turning around in the van seat, sunlight casting his hair into a halo of gold; Aleksi nodding as she played a simple riff on the guitar, distorting the notes into something powerful and inhuman.
Aleksi, transformed into his true form, hurtling through the swamp. His bloody claws. Red eyes. Towering horns.
A king of Hell. And she had felt something for him she’d never felt for any human man.
Helena closed her eyes. She didn’t know what it meant, that her attraction to him—her affection for him—lingered after what he had done to her sister, despite her best efforts. But it didn’t change the fact that she needed to warn him about Gavin and the Lineage.
She just didn’t know how. She didn’t have his phone number anymore; the slip of paper he’d left in the envelope was long gone. Maybe she could grab ahold of Juniper’s laptop, send him a message through Facebook.
It felt so stupid, but what other choice did she have?
Somewhere in the house, a door slammed. Helena drew the blanket over her head as Juniper’s footsteps echoed down the hall. They stopped in front of the bedroom doorway. Helena made her breaths long and deep, as if she were sleeping. She hoped she had washed away all of the spell.
And then the footsteps started again, vanished back toward the kitchen.
Helena relaxed into the mattress. The last thing she wanted was to talk to her sister. Not right now. Not when everything was so confused. It would be easier, she told herself, in the morning.
Helena woke to voices drifting through the thin walls. Time felt hazy and disconnected, as if her entire adulthood had been a dream. She was seventeen, waking up late on a Saturday morning after her parents had been out working the night before.
Her parents.
Helena shot up, blood bumping through her ears. The voices in the walls belonged to her parents: her mother’s rapid rise-and-fall cadence, her father’s slow, steady hum. It was the first time she had heard them in years.
For a moment, that was all Helena could consider: that she was going to get to see her parents again. And then the circumstances came crashing down around her. Juniper had convinced them to come here and help Gavin.
Who was going to sacrifice them to summon the Black Emperor.
God, they had gotten here fast.
Helena slid out of the bed and dressed, moving slowly. She did not want to go out into the house. The last time she had seen her mother had been awkward and uncomfortable, and that was at an Easter Mass Juniper had talked her into attending. They’d stood outside the church, the cold wind curdling into sleet, while her mother asked polite questions about her job at Woods & Yarrow, the disappointment thick in her voice.
She had to try to warn them about Gavin, though. On the off chance that they would actually listen.
Helena pushed open the door. The house smelled of coffee and cinnamon, a familiar scent that threw Helena back decades: her mother’s daily morning ward spell, the one she’d cast with a Hail Mary first as the coffee brewed.
Helena slipped out into the hallway and followed the sound of her family’s voices. Her mother’s rose above the others: “It’ll never work.”
Then Juniper’s: “We have to at least try!”
Helena stopped in the kitchen entrance. Her family sat around the folding table in the kitchen, its surface spread with old spell books, Juniper’s laptop, loose papers.
Her parents looked older than she remembered. Dad’s hair was gray all over, not just at the temples, and Mom’s skin seemed papery and thin. Helena braced herself in the doorway as Juniper and their mother argued over a spell book.
“Look at this,” her mother was saying, jamming her finger into one of the open books. “It’s never been done before. We still don’t even know—”
“Do you really want to risk it?” Juniper snapped. “I’m telling you, this dude’s legit. I cast a—”
“Helena.”
It was Dad’s voice: soft, faintly disbelieving. Juniper and Mom fell silent and turned toward her. Helena resisted every urge to slink back into the hallway.
“Hey,” Helena said softly.
“You’re finally up.” Mom gave a tight smile. “It’s nearly eight.”
“She’s been through a lot, Mom,” Juniper muttered.
“I recognize that.” Her mother gazed at Helena. “I’m glad you’re safe,” she finally said.
Helena offered a half smile.
“We were furious when Juniper told us what happened,” Dad said. “Weren’t we, Nora?” He looked pointedly at her mother.
“Of course.” Mom slid out of her chair. She still wore her hair the same, that sharply angled blond pixie cut that didn’t get in her way when she was fighting or spellcasting. “Juniper never should have taken you into the field like that. A civilian!” She clucked her tongue. “Although I like to think we trained you better.”
“That was over a decade ago.” Helena walked over to the counter and poured a cup of coffee. Stared down at the oily black surface. She could feel her parents looking at her.
“And it wasn’t an ordinary demon, either,” Juniper said defensively. “I told you that, Mom.”
“You still shouldn’t have taken her to that concert,” Mom snapped. “You know how susceptible she is!”
Helena’s face burned. It wasn’t susceptibility, she thought. It was a skill with a different kind of magic.
“It wasn’t my fault!” Juniper shot back. “I laid the protection charm spells on so thick. If it had been a normal demon—”
“There’s no such thing as a normal demon.” Mom drew up her spine. “They’re all abominations.”
Helena thought of Aleksi’s coy smile while he told her over and over again that she wasn’t magically worthless.
Juniper rolled her eyes. “You knew what I meant. Not a Lesser Court demon. If I had known—”
“Language is important,” their mother said. “We mustn’t do anything to normalize the enemy.”
Helena would give anything to be standing in front of a church right now, pretending she gave a shit about her job, instead of listening to this constant reminder of how she was supposed to view Aleksi.
“Okay. I doubt this is what Helena wants to talk about this morning.” Dad clapped his hands together and stood up, stepping in a few beats too late, the way he always did. “Hellie, how about I send you out for breakfast?” He reached for his wallet. “There’s a killer bakery just up the street. You can get some of those rice fritter things Juniper is always talking about.”
“Calas?” Juniper grinned. “Hell yeah.”
“Language.” Mom walked over to Helena and put her hands on Helena’s shoulders. Up close, Helena could see faint worry lines etching across her mother’s brow, a startling imperfection. She peered into Helena’s eyes, squinting a little. When she reached to pull up her eyelid, Helena wriggled out of her grasp.
“I’m not possessed,” she said. It was always easier to want to be back in the Lineage, accepted by her family, when she wasn’t around them.
“Mom!” Juniper cried. “I told you she was fine.”
“I was just making sure.” Mom sighed as she sank back down in her seat.
“How about those calas?” asked Dad.
“Oh my God!” Helena set her coffee down and leaned against the counter. “I’m not hungry. Look, Mom, Dad, I need to talk to you. I know Juniper called you here about Gavin Vargo and the Children of Adrasteia.”
“You don’t need to worry about that, sweetie,” her father said. “We’ve got it under control.”
Helena looked across the kitchen at her family. Hot sunshine poured in through the window beside the card table, casting them in a bright yellow light.
“You don’t understand,” Helena said, her voice rising in pitch. “Gavin is using you. He needs Lineage blood for his ritual. You can’t—”
“Oh, dear,” Mom said sadly. “I see what you mean, Juniper.”
Helena fixed a glare on her sister. “What the hell did you tell them?”
“The truth,” Juniper said. “That the demon and his allies told you a different story about Gavin.” She stopped, hesitating, and Helena felt something shift in her parents’ expressions. They took on something like pity.
“What?” she said. “What did you tell them?”
Juniper looked down at the table. “I think that demon may have worked some kind of brainwashing spell on you.”
Helena froze, even as rage surged up inside her. “Excuse me?” she cried. “You think I was brainwashed?”
“Helena, we’re dealing with a Hell king here,” Dad started, but Helena shook her head furiously.
“I wasn’t brainwashed!” she shouted. Angry tears burned at her lash line. “Why are you listening to a blood mage over me?”
“Because you were under demonic influence,” her mother said gently. “And you’re sus—”
“Don’t say it!” Helena shouted. “I’m not susceptible! Just because I can’t do magic like you doesn’t—” She stopped herself, sucked in a deep breath of air. No. The last thing she needed to do right now was tell her parents she could do Infernal magic.
“Hellie, we’re just looking out for you,” Juniper said.
Helena shook her head, her eyes squeezed shut because if she opened them she’d start crying.
“Look, you never should have been put in the situation you were.” Dad wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into hug. Helena sagged against him. “I’m sorry this happened to you. I’ve already set you up to talk with Father Olejnik when you get back into Houston. You remember him, right? The priest at St. Mary’s?”
“I don’t want to talk to Father Olejnik,” Helena said. “I want you to listen to me. Gavin is going to kill you. Lineage blood is a powerful summoning agent, and he needs as much as he can get to pull the Black Emperor through the—”
“The Black Emperor?” Mom shoved away from the table, knocking the chair down with an angry clatter. “Where did you hear that term?”
Helena froze. It had slipped out. She was so used to talking to Aleksi and Corina and Dominic that it just slipped out.
“You have absolutely been brainwashed.” Mom stalked forward, pushed between Helena and Dad. “That you would use that blasphemy to refer to our Enemy—” Her eyes were glassy with tears. “We have to get you back to Houston. Frank, we have to get her back to Houston.” She looked pleadingly at Helena’s father.
“We will,” he said. “I have the plane ticket—”
“I’m not brainwashed!” Helena yelled.
“I don’t blame you.” Mom turned back to her. “It was a Hell king who trapped you.” She paused, and when she spoke again her voice trembled. “Byleth.”
His true name buzzed through Helena’s body. She looked at her mother and for half a second considered telling her everything: how she had slept with him even after she learned his real identity, how the sight of his true face drove her wild with desire, and not wild with madness. How he showed her that she could work magic as strange and dark and powerful as he was.
“Mom,” Helena whispered. “I’m trying to save your life.”
“And we’re trying to save your soul.” Dad stepped forward. “I bought you a plane ticket,” he said. “Back to Houston. As soon as you land, you need to call Father Olejnik.”
Helena threw up her in hands in defeat. “I don’t have my driver’s license,” Helena said. “How am I supposed to get on a plane?”
He grinned. “Glamoured one of our old alias IDs as yours. It’ll get you through security.” He reached into his pocket, extracted his wallet, flipped it open. Then he handed her a driver’s license that did look exactly like her old one. Underneath it was a thick wad of cash.
“Your father is being very generous,” Mom said. “What time does the flight leave? Noon?”
“Noon?” Helena squawked. “That’s four hours away!”
“We wanted you safe and sound in Houston as soon as possible,” Mom said gently.
Dad nodded. “Printed the ticket for you, too.” He handed Helena a folded-up piece of paper. She stared at all of it, feeling dizzy. “Father Olejnik’s cell is written on there. He’s expecting your call.”
“Hellie, I’m so sorry I pulled you into all this.” Juniper was still sitting at the table, refusing to look Helena in the eye. “I promise we’ve got this handled.”
“We’re not going into this trusting the blood mage,” Dad said. “You realize that, right? Hell, I’ve already spoken to a pair of Lineage agents here in New Orleans who are going with us as backup.”
“What!” Helena shook her head “No, you can’t give him more Lineage blood—”
“Helena, we know what we’re doing,” Mom snapped. “Mr. and Mrs. Landry are already preparing the protection spells.”
“Who?”
“The New Orleans agents. You aren’t even listening to us.” Mom sighed. “This isn’t your world anymore, Helena. Go home. I don’t want you here when we track down Gavin tonight.”
Helena looked at her. Looked over at her father.
“Please just consider what I’m telling you,” Helena pleaded. “Gavin is trying to conjure Satan.”
Her mother laughed. “Helena, that’s not possible.”
“It is if he has enough Lineage blood!” Helena snapped. “Which the three of you are giving him! The five of you, if these Landrys are there, too!”
“Hellie, I don’t know where you got this idea about Lineage blood,” Juniper said.
“From Gavin,” Helena snapped. She jerked her arm out, flipping her arm over to show the smooth pink scar from the blue flame. “He told me when he used mine!”
Juniper pursed her lips. “You really expect us to believe that’s a magical scar? It looks like you scalded yourself on the stove.”
Helena glared at her, dropping her arm to her side. Of course she couldn’t tell any of them the truth—that Byleth had healed her.
“Don’t worry. We can handle a blood mage,” Juniper said. “You need to go back home and rest and let things settle down. That demon asshole screwed with your head and you need to just—go be normal for a while.”
Helena bit back her tongue. He wasn’t an asshole. And she was so much more than normal.
“She’s right,” Dad said. “And for the love of the Virgin, call Father Olejnik.”
“Yes,” Mom said. “Please. He wants to help you.”
Helena looked across the kitchen at her family. Her parents had edged closer to the table, her mother leaning up against her father. They both seemed sad. Disappointed. It was not the first time she had seen that expression on their faces.
Juniper was still trying to avoid looking her in the eye.
“Fine.” She shoved the money and the ID and the plane ticket into her pocket. “You don’t have to listen to me.”
“Helena—” her father started, but she was already stalking out of the kitchen.
An hour later Helena was in a rental car careening down the freeway toward Corina’s trailer, trying to remember the way.
It was twelve thirty; her flight to Houston should be taking off by now. She just hoped her family would still be alive to disown her when it was all over.
The swamp flashed around her. The freeway looked different during the day, garish and strange, but Helena had gone back and forth enough times in the last week she was sure she could remember. Pretty sure.
If her family wasn’t going to listen, at least she could warn Aleksi and the others. She didn’t know if he would want anything to do with her—she still wasn’t sure what she wanted to do with him. But she had to warn him. For the sake of both of their worlds, if nothing else.
An intersection materialized up ahead, two red lights blinking out of tandem. Helena slowed. The way to Corina’s seemed to unroll in front of her. Turn left at the lights. Keep driving until the road vanished.
She turned, her heart pounding. The car’s wheels crunched over the gravel, sending flecks of mud across the windows. Stagnant water glittered in the ditches. Vines curled onto the road. The trees swayed in the wind. Helena kept driving, listening only to her blood rushing through her ears.
Twenty minutes later she came to the place where the road was swallowed up by the swamp. In daylight, she could see the bare spots that vehicle tires had made on the underbrush, and she followed them, cringing at the sound of greenery scraping the undercarriage. When the forest turned too thick to drive, she cut the engine. Dominic’s van wasn’t anywhere to be seen, but the swamp was dense and those tire tracks could have belonged to a C.O.A. vehicle.
The forest shimmered around her. Cicadas rattled high in the trees; grasshoppers shrieked in the grasses. There were no human sounds.
Helena walked back into the woods, through the path she had gotten so used to in the last week. She passed through the C.O.A. campsite, shredded vines still littering the ground. She caught a glimpse of Corina’s trailer through the dense trees and broke into a jog.
The scar on her chest ached. She still didn’t know if she wanted to see Aleksi again.
When Helena stepped into the Corina’s property, the wards settled like a damp mist across her skin. She breathed out softly.
The porch railing was split in two and the door sat awkwardly on its hinges. The aftermath of the fight between Aleksi and Juniper. She did not like looking at it.
“I’m here to save our worlds,” Helena whispered to herself. She crossed the bridge into the yard. Corina’s pickup was parked in its usual spot beneath the big oak tree. A good sign, even though the trailer looked dark and empty.
Helena picked her way up the splintered porch steps and banged on the front door. “Hello!” she shouted. “Corina! Are you there?” Aleksi? She took a step back, wavering a little in the heat.
No one answered.
She knocked again, then tried the door—it was locked. A knot tightened in her stomach. She’d been relieved, a little, when she didn’t see the van, but only because she’d assumed Corina would have stuck around.
It looked like that wasn’t the case.
She tried to peer through the little sliver of window built into the door. All she saw were shadows. She jumped off the porch, ran around to the back yard.
The conduit looked bigger and darker, as if the magic hadn’t just killed the grass but the earth itself. The sight of it made her pause, her body fluttering at the memory of the evening she’d spent there with Aleksi.
She forced herself to turn away from the conduit. She tugged on the back door and jumped, startled, when it swung open, releasing a cloud of heady scent—incense and blood. Immediately Helena felt the scrape of Infernal magic in the back of her throat.
“Hello?” she called out, stepping into the trailer. Magic hung heavy on the air. She followed the hallway into the living room and found the remains of a ritual scattered across the floor: a bowl caked with dried blood, a circle of Infernal sigils stained into the carpet. Blackened candles lay haphazardly beside the couch. She went into the kitchen, found half the cupboards hanging open, the arcane spices and supplies Corina kept in them gone.
They’d fled.
Helena sank down at the kitchen table, her body numb. In the warm, heady trailer, the scent of copper and moonflowers strong on the air, she ached with regret. She’d been so afraid to see him again, so afraid of what she’d feel.
This emptiness was worse.
“Fuck,” she whispered.
She searched the trailer, looking for any kind of clue as to where they might have gone and finding nothing. It should be a good thing—it meant the C.O.A. couldn’t find them, either.
Except Gavin didn’t need to physically track Aleksi down. Not as long as he had the blood of three Lineage members. She remembered how easy it had been for Gavin to summon Aleksi. Just a lick of blue flame on her skin.
Helena left the trailer, locking the door behind her, and trudged back to her car. She hadn’t considered what she’d do beyond warning Aleksi and Corina and Dom.
She climbed into the car and turned the engine on, then blasted the air-conditioning full into her face. She stared blankly out at the wall of greenery. She felt as empty and out-of-sorts as she had that night at the bus station. If only she still had that scrap of paper with his phone number. Not that he answered—
Helena sat up straight. The night at the bus stop. Of course.
She knew where she could go next.