Shortly after my father had been killed, Elijah said to me, “Being angry with God is like punching a concrete wall. You only get more broken. God won’t move; he never does.”
Sometimes knowing the truth of things does not make a difference, however, especially when it seems that God has wandered off to do other things and left you alone and vulnerable to the forces of evil and darkness, and that’s when you really question His nature, when doubt seeps in like an insidious poison. There may be no atheists in foxholes, dug in before a night of battle, yet after the carnage has been wrought, in the cold light of day amidst the smoking craters and the twisted bodies of your friends, doubt and anger come easily. Where was He? we ask.
“He never left,” Elijah would answer. “God didn’t do this, evil men did.”
With anger and faith warring in me and fervent prayers on my lips for my wife and children, I ran back into the Rusty Parrot Lodge, focused entirely on my family, only dimly aware of people shouting and running toward me.
The room looked the same. Crystal and Ryder had not moved. I stumbled to the bedside and found a pulse on each of them. Crystal’s right eye was swelling and turning blue and when I rolled Ryder over onto his back I saw an angry goose egg on his temple. Perhaps I screamed for someone to find a doctor. I don’t recall much more about that night beyond a sense of utter failure and helplessness and the envelope Gideon's men left behind. Somehow we got to the small hospital, the same place Ryder had been born, and at some point someone gave me a sedative and nightmares stalked my dreams.
*
When I woke it was with the sudden heart clenching start that happens when reality does not come slowly, but assaults with fierce vigor, a blitz attack of bitterness and awareness. I knew where I was and what had happened before I drew my first waking breath. Crystal and Ryder were sharing a hospital bed next to me, sleeping. I bolted upright, still fully dressed in my uniform, in a cot next to them. I remembered the envelope. I remembered the threat. I stood over them for a time and kissed them each lightly.
I sat in an uncomfortable plastic chair facing them and opened the envelope I had put in my front pocket the night before and I reread the note, written on a formal piece of stationary emblazoned with the gold seal of the Church of Gideon. The slanted handwriting was ornate and clear and the words on the card chilled me:
“An eye for an eye. A life for a Life. Bring us the cure and we will spare the children.”
A doctor entered the room dressed in a white lab coat, oozing with sympathy.
“They are going to be just fine,” he said soothingly. “They both woke during the night and were able to speak. There is no brain damage as far as I can see. We will need to keep an eye on all three of you for several days at least. You all have concussions.” He bent down and shone a light in each of my eyes. “You’ve been through a lot.”
“I need something stronger to knock out this cold,” I said. “I’ve got to be on my feet.”
“We gave you some heavy antibiotics last night. You should start feeling better soon. But you don’t need to be on your feet, you need to rest.”
“Yeah, well, that’s not gonna happen.”
I felt torn. Ryder and Crystal were being cared for and there was nothing I could do for them beyond holding their hands and praying. Grace was in grave danger, and I knew I had to act. I had to do something, even if it was wrong. I got to my feet, kissed Crystal and Ryder, and left the hospital looking for Hawk.
*
Hawk found me. I strode through the glass doors into brilliant sunshine. It was the kind of crisp, clear winter morning that would have found me smiling and contemplating the hills at home, drawing my lungs full of pine scented air. Here in Jackson, the blue sky seemed to mock me with its beauty and the mountains seemed to chuckle at my impudence for thinking I mattered. Two soldiers stepped from a battered and rusted quad cab pick-up truck parked down the street and waved urgently. The man who emerged from the passenger seat was Chilli, I realized belatedly, beardless and short haired. I met them at the truck and got into the back seat. The driver said his name was Max.
“Good to see you,” I said.
Chilli offered me a wan smile. “Hawk sent a chopper for me last night; figured you might need some company.”
“Did he fill you in?”
“Yeah. William, I’m sorry.”
“Thanks. Did you bring my gear?”
“Yes. I packed for contingencies.”
“Good. Where is Hawk?”
“He’s waiting at the airfield now, getting the birds prepped.”
Max drove fast, winding out of the town and dealing with the ice and snow with experienced ease, cords standing out in his neck as he navigated. He was about forty years old and all business, dressed in winter warfare fatigues with short black hair.
“How are Ryder and Crystal?” Chilli asked.
“The doctors say they are going to be fine.”
“Crystal is going to wonder why you're gone.”
“No she won’t. She’ll expect me to go after our daughter.”
We came to a gate and two soldiers emerged from a guard shack. Max waved at them and the men opened the gate. We drove onto the airfield, where helicopters and small airplanes sat in neat rows. Most of them were covered with snow and ice, but there was a flurry of activity around a heavily modified Blackhawk and a smaller attack chopper. Soldiers were loading weapons and supplies, inspecting the aircraft, and moving with urgency. Hawk stepped from the Black Hawk, his usual smile replaced by a look of grim determination as he strode to meet us.
“Let’s go into the hangar and get you outfitted,” Hawk said. “Wheels up in thirty.” I followed him into a long corrugated aluminum hangar stacked with wooden crates and boxes. Along the walls were racks of various weapons, from heavy machine guns to mortars, rocket launchers, and light assault rifles.
“This is impressive,” I said.
“We’ve raided every base and armory in the region. We’ve been stockpiling for years. Of course, so has Gideon,” Hawk replied. “You still like the SCAR?”
“Yes. With a suppressor and a scope, preferably.”
Hawk pointed to a table. “Got your kit ready. Put on that smock and get out of that silly uniform. Size twelve boots, right?”
“Yep.”
“You should be good to go then. Do you want a Desert Eagle or a nine-millimeter for your sidearm?”
I grinned. “I’ll take the Desert Eagle.” I dressed quickly, placing the powerful nickel plated handgun into a thigh holster. My clothing was layered, with lightweight thermal underwear covered by white Gore-Tex and an outer lined smock, white with mottled olive markings.
“Do you want any body armor?”
“No. We need to be quick.”
“All right,” Hawk said. “Brief us and then let’s come up with a plan.” I told them about the note Gideon had left.
“What do we have to work with?” I asked after I had filled them in.
“Whatever we need. This is not a sanctioned mission, you know that. The Governor was livid when you bolted from the hospital. I’m supposed to take you back. Of course, I don’t give a damn.”
“How many men?”
“I’ve got eight ready now, more if you want. I’m thinking we should be surgical about this though.”
“All right,” I said. “You tell me what to do. I’m out of practice.”
“We’re going in blind, which is less than ideal,” Hawk said. “We don’t have any intel on where Grace is being held. But we have a good idea where Gideon will be.”
“Snatch and grab?” Chilli said.
“That would be the simplest,” Hawk agreed. “Get to Gideon and force an exchange.”
“That’s really risky,” I said doubtfully. “He’ll probably be expecting something like that.”
“Especially if the Governor gives us away, which he might,” Hawk said.
“So we use that in our favor,” Chilli said. “We tell the Governor we’re heading out for a meeting tomorrow, let him leak it.”
“It’s still a huge risk,” I said. “What if I just offer myself in exchange?”
Hawk groaned. “That’s even worse. This guy is a true believer. From what you’ve said, he really thinks you’re just holding out on him. So he’ll torture you to get what he thinks you know. No way.”
“How quiet are the choppers?” I asked.
“The Black Hawk is stealthy, one of the Special Forces models,” Hawk said. “The Cobra isn’t quiet, but it brings tremendous firepower. Hellfire missiles to kill armor, a 20mm Gatling gun, and Sidewinder air-to-air missiles.”
“I have an idea,” I said.
We pored over rough maps and developed a plan.
*
We left at full dark. Hawk piloted the Cobra, small and nimble by comparison to the Black Hawk. Behind and below us, the airfield was filled with soldiers fueling aircraft and preparing for battle. Before we took off, I spoke to the Governor over a primitive phone.
“Governor, I’m going to Salt Lake City tomorrow to get my daughter back.”
“The hell you are!”
“We leave at dawn.”
“You’re going to start a war.”
“No, I’m going to rescue my child from a lunatic.”
“There are thousands of lives at stake. Think about it. You’d be putting the entire Alliance at risk! We can’t have open war.”
“You can’t expect me to sacrifice my child.”
“I expect you to wait. I am truly sorry for what happened to your family. I really am. We can negotiate, make Gideon see reason. I know the man.”
“Then negotiate now. We leave in the morning. Don’t try to stop me.”
“This is treason.”
“Call it what you want.”
“Your wife and son are in the hospit—”
“They are being taken home,” I said hotly. “And let me tell you something, you evil bastard. When I’m done with Gideon, I’ll be coming for you.” I hung up the handset.
We flew close to the treetops and the snow covered hills and mountains beneath us seemed to have a dim bluish light of their own as we swept through the moonless darkness. Hawk and our pilot used night vision built into heads up displays on their helmets to navigate. Flying at almost two hundred miles per hour, we reached the urban sprawl on the foothills of the Wasatch Mountains and climbed to an altitude of several thousand feet. Hawk broke off and the Cobra disappeared. Beneath us, silent and empty houses once grand and proud languished under a blanket of snow and ice. All of the lights came from the city itself, and the Salt Lake Temple dominated the view, illuminated by powerful spotlights from the ground and on its many spires. The Black Hawk began to descend, and I readied myself.
“Comm check,” Chilli said. I nodded and hit the squawk on my headset; the other soldiers did the same. The interior of the helicopter was lit with a dim red light to keep our night vision intact and in the ghoulish shadows, I regarded my fellow men. Most of them were older than I, seasoned soldiers before The Fall, but two of them were in their late twenties. I was full of gratitude and dread as I thumbed the safety on my weapon, knowing that some of us would not live to see the sun again. The helicopter bucked and jerked hard, and I could hear the pilot, a woman named Andrea, swearing about wind shear and turbulence. The roof of the temple came toward us fast. Chilli and four of the other soldiers fast roped onto the rooftop. The helicopter lurched past the spires all around us and I clenched my jaw with anticipation.