Arriving home, I realized I’d been mistaken in thinking all was temporarily OK with the world. I found my mom pacing the kitchen floor with a distraught Leira in her arms. According to my mom, Leira had been fussy all evening and hadn’t eaten since breakfast. Stanley had already been on the phone twice with the doctor. They were in wait-and-see mode for now, but I noticed an overstuffed diaper bag at the back door.

I offered to give my mom a break while she ran out to the pharmacy for soy formula, which the doctor had suggested they try. Once I had Leira settled into her reclining rocker and she had calmed enough for her sobs to transition into a kind of blubbery hiccup, Stanley snuck off to his office to Google WebMD. Again.

Alone with Leira, I placed a hand on her birdlike chest. Her heartbeat was more fluttering than pounding, and her tissue-thin skin felt as dry as onion skin.

“Hang in there, sister,” I said. “We’ll get this figured out; we’ll get it all figured out.”

Leira looked up at me with her more-purple-than-blue eyes. Tears clung to her lashes and her thin bottom lip trembled. In moments like these, I perceived a wisdom beyond her years. Given everything I knew about the provenance of souls, it made sense. Did she remember her time as an essence? Was it preferable to the rough start she’d had in bodily form? And did she know anything of my role in it all?

“You know I’d do anything for you, right?” I continued.

She stretched, bringing her fist to her mouth in a self-pacifying gesture. She continued to fuss and fidget and spill fresh tears. I wondered at my mom’s patience and strength through all that Leira had already endured. But how much more could she take? It was a question I didn’t want the answer to — one that I made a fresh resolve to never find out the answer to. I was relieved when I heard the jangle of my mom’s keys as she came in the back door.

Though I was exhausted after the turmoil of the day, I couldn’t sleep. I continued to hear Leira crying, which meant — if nothing else — that she hadn’t taken a turn for the worse, necessitating a trip to the emergency room. I dedicated the next few hours to prayer and positive thought.