Memories have a way of shadowing us. They surround us with impressions so strong that they literally hold us captive. Becoming conscious of a memory’s powerful impact helps us detangle ourselves from the restrictions of the past. Without restrictions, we can be freer to create the life we would like to experience. But memories are not easy to let go of—or perhaps they do not let go of us easily. Drawing is one way to tussle with the power that memories hold over us. It lets us celebrate through creativity what we learned from our life experiences. Through stream drawing, we get into that place where both sides of the brain relax and work in concert. We express ourselves playfully and sensually, inviting feelings and impressions we’ve gathered over the years. Memories come out and show us what they’ve got. And then we get to decide what they hold for us—we exercise empowerment rather than being a victim of memories that grip us emotionally and intellectually. We come face to face with the past, and learn to use it as a guide to aid us as we grow.
Here’s an example. Recently, someone told me, “If such terrible things hadn’t happened to me in childhood, I believe I might have been a really great artist.” My first thought was to feel very sad that she had awful early life experiences. But my second thought was that her memories (still very much alive in her) of her past might be exactly what could make her an absolutely vibrant, amazing artist! If she were to express everything she thought and felt about what happened to her, maybe she’d transform her entire life. She could use her memories to help her create forward, rather than allowing them to limit her.
Memories are loaded with emotion, which is often a great motivator for humans. All kinds of emotions from past experiences fuel our choices and put us into action. In life, we “make our marks” when we create memories; we live and learn from our experiences. Stream drawing gives us a chance to touch and create with the powerful tides of memory-based feeling within us. Consciousness arrives for us as we create. At first we may only feel relief while drawing, with nothing on our minds but enjoyment. We are who we are, and we know it. But who we perceive ourselves to be can change. Intentionally exploring how memories form our identities, our sense of self, is one way of starting anew. We have at our fingertips everything we need to activate our new way; yet, a memory may have us by the ankles, holding us in a pattern. Connecting with our deep feelings and consciously recognizing the memories they originate from may shift our sense of direction and purpose.
Memory and emotion work together. We collect memories as we live, and our impressions change as we grow. Our memories should serve us, kiss us on our way to well-being. We can even benefit from the difficult and painful ones. Severely painful memories can shape us in healthy ways or less-than-positive ways, but with work, we can be the ones to decide which it is. Once we learn what we need to from them, they don’t hold much power over us. We can use them to help others who have suffered similar events. Revisiting those difficult memories as well as the easier, more pleasant ones now and then lets us see how far we’ve come.
Memory drawing will help you tap into a deep, intuitive source as you provide solace for yourself through emotional mark making. We do that as we stream draw—we learn to feel the flow, a good and natural sense of well-being. While drawing, we may feel our emotions in a way that is not just acceptable, but enjoyable. We stream draw and feel good, and feeling good opens up more imaginative, creative channels. Ideas and thoughts flow in and out as we express ourselves.
Your unconscious memories are potent and can offer you so much as you seek fulfillment. Stream drawing allows your unconscious and conscious mind to blend together by simply getting into the creative flow through drawing. Drawing freely, without self-criticism, gives you the ability to go inward to where many feelings and thoughts reside that you may not be aware of, and to express outward as those feelings begin to arrive in your consciousness and shifts you to new levels of inner knowing. This is an intuitive practice that enhances creativity and well-being in every way.
If we are brave enough to get creative with our memories, we learn that our unconscious mind is a storehouse for certain memories. We hold onto them without having a clue why. We also have memories we cannot forget, or get stuck on and can’t let go of. This exercise will help you with both—memories you don’t want to be conscious of and memories that bind you.
The process of discovery involves stream drawing while holding a specific memory in your heart and mind. You can see if new insights or perspectives become available to you. You may realize something new or be surprised when another memory emerges in connection (it may not have seemed related before). The main idea here is to make four stream drawings, each one based on a memory. You are conditioning yourself to consciously hold emotion while drawing to increase your ability to use empathic, intuitive sensing.
We are so trained to be literal and logical and to avoid failure (or embarrassment in class or with colleagues, and so forth) that we may automatically try to draw a representation of a particular object while we stream draw, even though our eyes are closed. It’s as though the rational mind refuses to let us get into that stream where we do not have to be “correct.” For example, in attempting to stream draw based on a happy memory, one person might think of childhood days playing baseball, close his eyes, and try to draw a baseball or other literal symbol related to his baseball memory. His drawing represents the memory in a literal or logically symbolic way, rather than drawing a meandering line that expresses the feelings he has when remembering this happy time. There is nothing wrong with that, especially when the objects we associate with our memories do have visual characteristics—maybe it feels great to make a round shape during stream drawing, which may look like a baseball. However, while doing this exercise, I suggest that you draw your feelings about the memory and not objects or symbols you associate with it. If you are thinking of baseballs and you draw circles over and over, that is perfectly fine. But do not be limited by the logical mind while you gain access to your emotions. This is a chance for you to engage in your feelings without restraint, and without having to prove the logic of your feelings.
You have become familiar with two of the four steps used in intuitive stream drawing readings (Gaze and Trust Your Words). Now, we will practice using all four steps together: Draw with Emotion, Gaze, Trust Your Words, and Discover and Connect. First, you’ll try Drawing with Emotion and Discover and Connect while stream drawing a happy memory.
Memories, as we’ve discussed, are full of emotional content. From powerful first impressions to beliefs wrought from routine conditioning, we carry them all. They arise often throughout the day. Many (if not all) of the emotions that we experience are a result of how we remember an event or situation. We may not even notice memories as they come and go, or take the time to assess their impact on us. Some memories protect us from danger: “I remember lightning once hit a tree I was standing near, so when I hear thunder, I take shelter in a building!” Some keep us from unfolding our wings: “I was terrible at piano lessons as a kid, and the teacher said I wasn’t cut out for it; I always had a dream of playing piano, but that’s impossible.” We even carry the memories of the previous generations, handed down (via attitudes and expectations) to us both nonverbally and as stories. We hold tight to many of them. And they’re not even ours! Some serve us well, while others are not always best for us.
It is easy to experience memories while drawing, which is enjoyable for the most part. Nobody likes to think of upsetting memories, but they’re usually there, waiting for us to pull them out—if they’re not lurking around to grab us out of the blue! I find that drawing about them completely relieves the stress they can bring. On the other hand, beautiful and inspirational memories send us postcards from the past, adding to our positive feelings and reminding us of our good fortune. Through stream drawing, you will see that memories are often the first thing that flow through. Since you’ve gazed at images, you know that they can evoke specific thoughts, feelings, associations, and meanings. You’ve begun a process of deepening your trust in your intuition. Drawing with emotion and using memory to generate feeling will deepen your trust and authenticate your impressions. Discovering and connecting while gazing at a drawing you’ve just created can be a spontaneous experience at times; and at others, it is a carefully cultivated process for the artist. Often, the full impact and meaning of a memory (or its connection to other memories) hits us immediately or by surprise, either while drawing or when gazing at a drawing. We take it further, exploring as many ways as possible to conceive the meaning. This is not a difficult task but a natural flow of cause and effect. If the event that created the memory is the “cause,” then how we interpret the memory is the “effect.”
Locating the feelings behind a memory is usually the easiest way to grab an emotion and hang onto it. Drawing while holding onto a memory is satisfying and gives you a chance to “go there” again, this time on your own terms. You never know quite where it will take you! The Discover and Connect phase will get you going after drawing with emotion. You will practice using your memories to connect with who you are at the present time. A particular memory may seem absolutely foreign to your current perception of your life, or connected in a remote way. Investigating that remote connection may show you a reason for how your life and identity developed in a certain way, and why.
This is a gratifying practice. You may find that you have grown a lot over time—or perhaps you will decide you’ve been influenced by a specific mind-set for too long and don’t need it anymore. Some memories are funny—once we see how far we’ve come, we enjoy the way we used to be, or are proud of how we grew beyond. In other instances, we cherish what made us who we are and we seek a new way to show gratitude for our experiences and to use our new knowledge.
Drawing with emotion means to empathically feel while mark making. As you stream draw, you will intentionally hold an emotion, feeling it expand in your heart. Holding an emotion in your conscious mind and heart awakens intuitive sensing; drawing activates your creativity and personal will to make changes. Embrace the chance to experiment with specific emotions as you stream draw.
You are about to have fun with this one! If you are using scrap paper, a bigger sheet can be better in these first stream drawing experiences because then you will have plenty of space to move around on the page. Take your pencil and put it into the opposite hand of the one you normally use for writing. As you relax, you will draw all around and across the page without lifting the pencil and without opening your eyes. As you did in the frozen pond exercise, draw one continuous line that meanders wherever you feel compelled to take it on the paper: up, down, or all around. Your line may form circles, zigzags, rectangles, and circles. As you draw, your hand will feel the fluctuations in pressure and gradation, pressing hard or lightly, speeding up or moving slowly across the page. You may feel compelled to use heavy pressure to make a dark line, or you may feel emotions that guide you to draw with a very light hand. Be aware while you draw of how your emotions from memory may influence you to draw slowly, quickly, lightly, or with pressure, using small or large movements.
This is the stage where we use all parts of stream drawing to gather information from our work. I call this step Discover and Connect because investigating a drawing’s potential meaning helps us open the door to our hidden stream of consciousness. Exploring gives us a purpose and a way of making sense of it all. We can witness our experiences in a new way, acknowledge our thoughts and feelings as they flow forward, and then discover the potential in them. This is the stage of stream drawing that shows us our purpose and potential.
Once you get comfortable trusting your words as they arrive into your conscious mind, you will find that you develop a quiet sense of empathic, intuitive knowing. While absorbing an image with a sense of gratitude and ease, you will experience a feeling of enchantment so pleasant that you may feel yourself light up from head to toe. This wonderment is the sign that you are activating your “higher self,” your spirit within. This aspect of self is your total sense of well-being that resides within you perpetually. Life’s complications may block our awareness of it, but it is always there. This is the aspect of you that is already complete, enriched, and open to your heart’s consciousness. Stream drawing and gazing allow you to unblock and feel the deep beauty that is a natural state at the core of your being. The discover and connect step takes you to a meditative state where you can get a real understanding of your experiences and impressions. Discover and connect with expectant openness and see what begins to make sense.
Sit comfortably and take a long look at the blank paper before you. Breathe in the expansive, untouched possibilities that it represents. Take your pencil in your non-dominant hand. Holding your hand in a relaxed way over the paper, softly touch your pencil on the paper and close your eyes. Think of a childhood memory that makes you happy. For many people, the first thing that comes to mind when searching for a happy memory is all the hard or sad ones! They jump into our minds and hearts more easily for some reason, shouting for our attention. Let them arrive in your mind and heart and then let them leave you like a butterfly for now. If you are short on happy childhood memories, think of a recent memory that gives you joy, or a wish or an ideal instead.
Settle in and sense a time when you were young—when any event, person, place, or thing made you feel good, whether it was small or large. As you draw, eyes closed, think of this happy memory. Allow your pencil to go wherever your hand takes it. Allow your pencil to glide in one continuous line. Without lifting the pencil off the paper, go all over the page, varying pressure as you draw. With happiness, let your hand make marks freely. You may make swirls and spirals or lines and random shapes—whatever you feel like drawing. Sense the emotions that guide your hand.
You may wish to draw for a few minutes or for only several seconds. As the pencil moves along the surface of the paper, it is an instrument of your thoughts and emotions. Draw as you feel the memory of that happiness move across your heart and mind. Stop drawing when you are finished.
Figure 17 shows a happy memory stream drawing made by a twelve-year-old girl named Brianna. This sample is not shown to give the impression that your drawing should be like hers. Yours may look very different, and it should! No two memory drawings will ever look exactly alike. There is no right way or wrong way. I am sharing it here (as well as other samples in the book) so you can see how stream drawing can evolve. I hope that seeing some drawings may inspire you as you create your own.
Brianna Drew with Emotion: Brianna sat down with a blank piece of paper and a pencil and called up a happy memory. She closed her eyes and held the memory in her mind as she drew. She let the pencil roam all over the page. When she was finished, she opened her eyes and told me her happy memory was of a time when she was quite a bit younger and found a twenty dollar bill on the playground.
Brianna Gazed: To Brianna’s surprise, when she opened her eyes and gazed at the drawing, she saw in the middle a twenty dollar bill. In the center of the drawing, you might see a large rectangular shape reminiscent of a dollar bill, with a number two in the center.
Brianna’s happy memory drawing.
Brianna created the shape of the twenty dollar bill while closing her eyes and doing her happy memory drawing. Again, it is a natural impulse to try to depict a literal representation of a memory, rather than simply holding the feelings of the memory while drawing with eyes closed. But in this case, it did not inhibit Brianna from getting into the flow for her stream drawing. Many drawings surprise us. Although she did not think she was trying to be literal, Brianna was surprised to see what to her resembled a twenty dollar bill in the center of her happy memory drawing. She drew her happy memory truly feeling the emotion of happiness.
Brianna’s reaction was to intuitively, spontaneously turn the drawing around to see it in four different ways. She marveled at the shapes, lines, and multiple views of each. We will talk about this part of the process later; for now, know that while gazing, it’s okay to turn the drawing around to see what a new perspective says to you.
Brianna Trusted Her Words: After Brianna completed the drawing, opened her eyes, and saw the twenty dollar bill in the center, she said that what came to mind as she drew was the “feeling of the ocean.”
Brianna Discovered and Connected: Brianna’s “feeling of the ocean” was not logically connected to her memory of finding the twenty dollar bill. The association took her by surprise. She said the ocean came into her mind because that was another happy memory from her childhood: swimming and playing with her brother. Drawing while feeling that happiness unexpectedly brought her the memory of other happy times, splashing in the ocean! Brianna’s emotional intelligence delivered more happiness when she gazed at her drawing—all in a matter of moments.
Try It! Happy Memory Drawing 
Bring up a memory of something that made you happy from any point in your life. Focus on capturing the feeling of happiness as best you can. You need to be comfortable so your thoughts and feelings can flow. As you deepen your breathing, ask your higher self to bring you a happy memory.
Draw with Emotion (as described here): When you feel relaxed and calm, close your eyes. Let a happy memory rise to the surface. Maybe you see it like a movie in your mind, or you remember specific details. Try to capture the feelings you had during that happy event in your life, and when you feel that happiness, keep it with you for as long as you can. It may slip away for a moment (or get interrupted), but allow any passing thoughts to drift out of your mind like a soft wind blowing. Focus on the happy memory. With that feeling stirring your heart, open your eyes to place your pencil on the paper. Then, close your eyes again and draw using your nondominant hand. Continue to see the memory in your mind and hold your happiness as you draw.
Gaze: Gaze at your stream drawing in a gentle, appreciative way. Take in the marks you made and let them just “be” on the paper. Gradually, let your eyes wander around. Gaze at different areas of the drawing with an open heart. Your happy memory may still cling to you, or it may slip away as you explore the stream drawing. Either way, it does not matter. Other, unexpected memories may surface, and if they do, enjoy them. Gaze and accept whatever comes to you.
You may notice your eyes are drawn to specific shapes, lines, or negative space. You may want to turn the drawing upside down or sideways.
Gazing has two parts: using your physical eyes and seeing with your intuitive intelligence. You are beginning to use your third eye, another kind of vision—the seeing you do without your actual eyes, such as when you picture something in your mind, experience a memory, or dream. When you gaze without an agenda, your intuition arises. Your unconscious mind may show you what it perceives in the drawing, such as a sign, symbol, or shape that is reminiscent of a familiar object.
Do not judge your drawing, just enjoy it. You took nothing—a piece of blank paper—and turned it into something. Your creative willpower is coming into play!
Trust Your Words: Now, while gazing at your happy memory drawing, notice if any words come to mind. Is there a word to express how you felt while you were drawing? If a word surfaces, write it down. It may not be logical or even seem to relate to the memory but trust it anyway.
As you observe your happy memory stream drawing, notice the shape and character of the lines, the gradation, and the way the whole drawing looks. Write as the words come to you. Don’t worry about making a logical connection. If no words appear, simply enjoy the visual attitude of the drawing (the expression in the line) and simply describe what you see. You may write “angular,” “circular,” or “wiry.” Just describe the basics. As you write, take note of any thoughts or emotions that arrive. Remember not to place a value judgment on the drawing. You are describing the qualities of the drawing, not its worthiness. Your drawings represent an intuitive process, and are not meant to be subject to critique.
Discover and Connect: Embrace all you have done so far. You drew while holding the feelings of a happy memory, and gazed at it. You trusted your words as they came while gazing at this drawing. Now you get to dig around for the treasure in your drawing by finding ways in which the memory, images, and words all connect. At first, they may not seem to, but you may make playful discoveries while seeking the connections. How does your happy memory relate to the imagery you saw while gazing? What words came to mind when you trusted that the ones you needed would arrive? If nothing connects for you, put the drawing aside and come back to it a little later. You can revisit a stream drawing anytime to see if there is gold in it for you. Being easygoing and playful helps, I find, more than being too serious. When I’m playful, I am more likely to recognize connections than if I’m locked into a certain idea about something.
Try It! Angry Memory Drawing 
Draw with Emotion: Turn the paper over, and this time think of something that makes you angry. I’m not trying to ruin your day! In fact, thinking of an angry feeling while drawing might help you. Humans process anger (especially repressed anger) without being aware of it. Drawing the feeling allows you to acknowledge your anger as it takes form on paper. This is very powerful, especially if you express it in a creative, purposeful way that is not harmful or destructive. Drawing is an excellent way to bring up our unconscious feelings. You may not want to dredge up your anger; those feelings can be overwhelming and make you feel out of control. Yet, too often we shove our emotions inward or ignore them, and this can lead to distress, illness, and dis-ease. Just because we deny our feelings does not mean they are not there.
Anger lets you know what you do not want in life. It helps you identify what situations or circumstances are not good for you. Anger can motivate you to make change—a positive effect. Take a deep breath and honor that emotion within you. Engaging with your anger and working with it creatively is an excellent way to process your emotional response.
In thinking of an angry emotion, you might remember something from childhood again, or something you are dealing with now. You might remember a person who did something you think wasn’t right or fair, or it might be a situation that you have not overcome. The angry memory might be anger at yourself or at things that are wrong in the world. Whatever it is, you must fully capture your emotion so that you can feel its undeniable power. Allow the feelings of anger to surface as you ready your pencil and paper. Once again put your pencil on the paper using your nondominant hand, close your eyes, and draw while you feel this anger. Work until you are finished—you’ll know when you want to stop.
Gaze: As you open your eyes to gaze at this angry memory drawing, notice how it feels to look at the image you created. Compare your happy memory drawing with this angry memory drawing, side by side. How did drawing while feeling an angry emotion differ from drawing while feeling a happy one? How are the lines and shapes different? Did your hand press harder during the joyful drawing or the angry drawing? Did you draw slower or faster?
Trust Your Words: Look at the drawing from the angry memory. If any words come to mind about how the image looks or makes you feel, write them down. Remember, they may have nothing at all to do with your memory, or even seem logical. Trust whatever words come to your mind. I don’t care if the words are “scrub brush” or “apple pie”—just go with it!
Spend a few moments looking at both drawings. When you are finished comparing them, get more paper. Let’s do a few more memory drawings. If it feels uncomfortable to do more drawings, take a walk or do something else. We’ll come back when it feels good to call up new memories.
Discover and Connect: Anger is one of those emotions that finds its way into many areas of our lives, often without our awareness. Making connections and discovering those memories in a new light can be real change agents for us, deepening our intuitive process. An angry memory may be about something very specific, and we would like to think it stays in a place in our minds where we have it under complete control. Yet, once we begin to gaze and draw with emotion, we connect to anger in a new way. In the Discover and Connect phase of this intuitive process, we make images that give us a deeper sense of our anger. Your angry stream drawing may connect with a situation unrelated to the one you concentrated on during the drawing. How are the two events similar to each other? Does all anger feel the same?
You may feel during discover and connect that some anger is easy to let go of. Images in your stream drawing will potentially trigger times when you felt anger and coped well, releasing it. Use the stream drawing to help you feel anger and appreciate the emotion for all the power in it, no matter how unpleasant. Then, get new insights into how you can transform the anger into constructive action. Write down any images you see in the drawing, even if they don’t make sense right away. Contemplate them. Relate to those images and find the meaning in them. Take your time!
Draw with Emotion: Sit calmly and breathe softly, pencil and paper ready. You might want to close your eyes to see what sad memory will surface. Often, sad memories or events in which we got hurt are the first memories to arise in the conscious mind. Sadness is one of the emotions all humans experience. We also can find it hard to let go of sadness. I can think of something that made me sad ages ago, and in a snap, I feel the same deep, concave feeling in my chest, as though no time has passed.
As you ask for a sad memory to visit your consciousness, you may find that a personal one does not surface. Instead, you may get a macrocosm or “big picture” memory, such as the state of the economy, damaging natural disasters, or wars raging around the world. Don’t stress about retrieving a particular memory, just allow what comes to float into your heart and mind.
Once you have a sad memory, allow yourself to sit with it for a bit. You may even feel sensations in your body, your stomach or throat. Emotional energy stirs up your physical being, so noticing the way your body takes in memories is important. (You will see how much it connects to conscious awareness and intuitive knowing when you begin doing intuitive stream drawing readings.) It may not be comfortable to feel the sad feelings again—who needs that, right?—or to be aware of the places in your body where emotions churn, but being in touch with sadness will help you draw it out for a constructive purpose. You can shift some of your emotions once you start creating. Identifying where sadness or other emotions are most active in your body will also help you consciously draw them out into awareness, therefore releasing them gradually onto paper.
Close your eyes to draw when you are ready. As you’ve done before, draw while feeling and remembering what makes you sad, or what made you sad long ago. Draw however it feels good to draw. Does it feel good to go fast or slow? Would you like to press hard, lightly, or vary your stroke? Using your nondominant hand, create one continuous line that may turn and twist into shapes, peaks, and valleys. The feeling may surface as though it just occurred, even though you may have experienced this sad event decades ago. Draw with your eyes closed until you are ready to stop moving the pencil and open your eyes.
Gaze: Now, gaze at the drawing you made. Allow your feelings to adjust. Your eyes may wander on the page or focus on the picture as a whole. Relax as you gaze at this image. What thoughts or feelings come to mind? Do you still feel sad, or even a little angry at having to hold a sad memory in your conscious mind? Do you have any sad memories that you carry around in your mind (or have regular inward conversations about)? Allow your sadness to build or subside as you gaze. Gazing with an open, expectant, accepting attitude will help you as your emotions fluctuate. Notice what shapes jump out at you and how they may speak to you. Do you recognize any images that might appear at random, much the way we see bunnies or cotton candy shapes in clouds? Do any of the images surprise you? Connect images that don’t logically relate (or never occurred to you before now) to your sad memory. (For example, in a radio interview I did, a caller said she had diabetes. I quickly did a stream drawing where a rabbit was clearly visible—though of course I did the drawing with my eyes closed, focusing on her diabetes. I could connect her diabetes to fear, since for me, personally “rabbit” has come to represent getting over fears). Gaze at and enjoy the drawing for what it is. Look and let the feeling of the drawing work on your mind and heart.
Trust Your Words: As you gazed at the stream drawing you created, did any words come to mind? Any names or particular feelings? Often, our feelings bring up words that describe them. I suggest writing notes away from the drawing area so you can concentrate on the visual imagery and keep the drawing area uncomplicated by handwriting for now. Write the words (and trust them).
Discover and Connect: Sad memory stream drawings may feel similar to angry memory drawings. The feelings still grip us, even years later. Discovering and connecting requires that we really be open to whatever image we see in the stream drawing, even if it seems impossible.
Don’t think too hard. Just take in the imagery, make a note of each thing you see, and any thoughts or associations that the images bring up for you. If a general feeling of sadness hangs with you during the Discover and Connect phase, don’t try to push it away. Just record what comes to you without judgment. Discovering how sadness has played a part in your life, through your disposition or in your life experiences, can empower you, because once you get a view of sadness’s effect on your life, you can create with it, and not just be subject to it. One sad event may not seem to relate to another, yet you may realize there are connections in the form of repeated patterns, themes, and circumstances you no longer need. Knowing this can help you move forward anew. Discover and connect with your strength and resolve. Let your stream drawing show you the way!
Try It! Nervous Memory DrawingDraw with Emotion: Have you ever felt nervous? Maybe you felt that way on the first day of school, before giving a speech, seeing someone you had a crush on, or in the presence of your boss. This time we will go inward and connect to the anxieties that talk to us all day long. So often we are so on-task in our lives, performing duties or fulfilling responsibilities, that we do not pay attention to our nerves.
Breathe in deeply as you sit with your pencil and paper ready (again using your nondominant hand). Allow a memory of nervousness to surface. There may be more than one, so settle in and see which nervous memory demands your attention at this moment. When you are ready, close your eyes and draw while sensing how it felt to be nervous. Let your pencil roam as your hand channels the feelings of nervousness, through your arm and onto the paper. When you are ready, put the pencil down and open your eyes.
Gaze: Breathe in deeply as you gaze at the drawing you made. Take it all in: the periphery, the center, and the areas that most grab your attention. Enjoy the marks you made. Feel gratitude for being able to express your emotion through pencil and paper. Notice how you felt while you were drawing, and how you feel now that you’re done. Do you still feel nervous? Has the memory faded, or does the drawing keep the feeling of anxiety alive in you? How does this nervous memory drawing compare to your happy or angry memory drawings? Does it have anything in common with your sad memory drawing?
Trust Your Words: Notice any words that materialized as you gazed at your drawing. Trust what comes to mind, and write it down on the paper away from your drawing. You might find that you felt a certain way while drawing, which brought up a certain word; gazing may evoke completely different feelings and words. Make note of that, if you like.
Discover and Connect: Nervous memories sometimes have an abstract quality to them. We can remember the specific events that made us nervous, and also recall long periods of time when we felt a generalized nervousness that is hard to describe. Nervous stream drawings give you the opportunity to adjust to and work with nervousness. All kinds of random images may appear in your drawing, or you may feel waves of emotion; you may not have a logical explanation for any of it. You may get a feeling of dread or of elation while gazing at the drawing and not be able to explain why right away. During discovering and connecting, the images and emotions do not have to immediately make sense, but trust what comes so that you can find new ways to look at nervousness. Take special note of anything you feel while gazing at your nervous memory drawing. It may hold signals for you. You may appreciate old emotions or let go of ones you decide you no longer need to nurture. Either way, work with patience to connect with a sense of respect for the experiences you’ve encountered that have given you this emotion.
Once you have made happy, angry, sad, and nervous memory drawings, spread them all out and look at them together. Do not judge or criticize them. Quietly observe the marks you made. If any words or thoughts come to mind as you compare one drawing with another, you may want to write them down. Your impressions are important. Observe your drawings with appreciation and ask yourself these questions:
• Does the happy memory drawing look similar to the nervous memory drawing?
• Does the angry memory drawing stand out from the others? If so, why?
• Does one drawing have heavier or lighter lines than the others?
• Which drawing gripped me emotionally the most in each phase: stream drawing, gazing, trusting my words, and discovering and connecting?
Try to locate imagery in each memory drawing that may connect you directly with the emotion you held while drawing. Do other memories pop into your awareness? If so, notice them. What made them arrive? Was it the way a line created a shape? Or is it something that you cannot explain logically? Use these memory drawings, assemble them, and see their differences and similarities to help you gain visual-intuitive information.
Put your drawings aside when you are finished. You can take them out later or another day to see if new insights or images pop up. If you see a shape that reminds you of an animal, for example, take note. It might become a meaningful symbol to you in relation to that particular memory or the emotions associated with it. As I mentioned earlier, I see a rabbit in some of my intuitive stream drawing readings. Rabbits have come to represent abundance on one hand and fears on the other—fears I need to get over. This evolved when a rabbit shape appeared in my sad memory drawing, prompting me to ask, “What does ‘rabbit’ mean to me?” Keep asking yourself questions while discovering and connecting each memory drawing. Savor the characteristics in each one as reflections of your higher self and capacity for emotional, intuitive expansion.
You have experimented with the way memory and perception work together to give you a full range of emotions, and you’ve seen how stream drawing can help call up the emotions connected to memory. Through the exercises in this book, you’ve discovered that drawing, an act of expression, is a harmonious, natural way to process emotions. You’ve taken that one step further by seeing what the stream drawing offers after it is created; you’ve developed your visual-intuitive language through line, shape, texture, and form. Gazing at all four memory stream drawings adds another dimension.
Trusting your words and making discoveries give you a new perspective on what you once experienced. Memory drawings show you how to get creative, using the memories as a source of strength and healing potential. Making connections gives you another way to glean gold from even the hard memories: they are yours. You have the creative willpower to use them for growth and to gain clarity, using them to your benefit as you move into the future.
Next, we’ll explore emotions in new ways as we continue to develop that language.
