The world fell apart for Simone sooner than she’d expected – in the middle of that same week to be precise. She was woken at two o’clock in the morning by the phone ringing and when she picked it up, it took her a few seconds to realise that it was her younger daughter who was sobbing at the other end of the line.
‘Ma?’
‘Deb? Is that you?’
‘Don’t hang up on me.’
‘I wouldn’t do that, especially not when you’re upset.’
‘I’d deserve it if you did refuse to take my call, and so would Clo. We’ve not treated you very nicely lately and I’m sorry for that.’
For longer than that, but who was counting? ‘Well, no 311one is perfect.’ Simone felt happiness surge through her. This meant she and her daughters were going to come together again, which was wonderful, just absolutely wonderful. ‘Tell me what the matter is, darling.’
‘Ma, it’s not good news.’
Deb’s voice was so tight and unhappy, Simone’s pleasure faded instantly. ‘What’s wrong? Just tell me straight out.’
‘Clo’s been rushed into hospital. The baby started coming early and there were complications. Things didn’t go well and in the end they had to do a Caesarean.’ She let out another tearful choke.
‘Did the baby – die?’ Oh, please no, please not that!
‘No, no. But the poor thing was only just over seven months old and quite small, and – and she’s in one of those incubator things. She wasn’t due for another few weeks.’
‘But Clo’s all right?’
‘They think she will be. She wants to see you, Ma.’
‘And I want to see her.’
‘Can you fly back straight away? She needs you so badly.’
‘To look after Tommy and Vicki?’ In the circumstances she couldn’t refuse to take care of her grandchildren, but if it was the main reason for this call, Simone was going to be feel bitterly let down.
‘No. Well, not exactly. Bob’s parents are doing that, and they’re happy to share the job with you when – I mean if you return. Clo needs to see you to set things right. She’s fretting about it. You will come back and – and reassure her that you haven’t given up on her, won’t you? Or on me.’
Simone didn’t hesitate. ‘Of course I will. I’ll get online and see if I can find a flight on that cancaellations website. I’ll contact you when I have one booked.’312
‘Thanks, Ma. She’ll be so relieved. We all will. You’re the pivot of the family, and not just because of the help you’ve given us, either. You’re just – that sort of person.’
After she’d put the phone down, Simone had to blow her nose and wipe her eyes before she could get out of bed. What Deb had said at the end was the nicest compliment she’d ever had. Ever! She got dressed in the first clothes that came to hand, then hurried downstairs. After switching on her computer she made herself a mug of coffee, working out in her head the best order in which to do things.
First she got online and found the site that gave last-minute cancellations.
It took her a few minutes to navigate her way round it and then, to her utter relief, she found a direct flight to Perth being offered. It wasn’t a business class seat this time, but she’d manage. She checked the other details quickly, glanced at her watch, then clicked on the icon to reserve the place on that flight, getting out her credit card and paying for it without hesitation.
She now had just under six hours to get to Heathrow Airport. She could do it.
She phoned the local taxi firm, woke up a grumpy chap on ‘emergency calls only’ and booked a taxi to get her to Heathrow.
‘It’ll cost £50 extra at this time of night.’
‘I don’t care. I have a family emergency in Australia.’
‘All right, lady. I’ll get there as quickly as I can. See you in about twenty minutes.’
After that she rushed round the house pulling all her things out of drawers. Flying what people jokingly called 313‘cattle class’ meant she’d have to pay extra for excess luggage, as well as not being able to lie down on the plane, but that didn’t matter.
To hell with packing carefully, she threw everything into her two bags any old how.
She had the suitcases standing outside her front door in fifteen minutes flat, after which she did the hardest thing of all. She phoned Russ in London, waking him up as well.
‘Simone? Is something wrong?’
She explained quickly.
‘I’m sorry about that. So you’re going back to Australia to see her?’
‘Yes, of course I am. She needs me. The plane leaves in just under six hours. Look, when you come back to Wiltshire will you clear out the fresh food and any other bits and pieces I’ve left behind? All the bottles of wine in the rack are mine, so take them and – and think of me when you drink them. I’ll shove the Dittons’ front door key through your letterbox.’
‘Yes, I’ll do that. And we’ll keep in touch by phone and email until you can come back.’
She took a deep breath. ‘I shan’t be coming back, Russ.’
There was silence for a moment or two, then, ‘What exactly do you mean by that?’
‘It’ll probably be weeks before I can leave Clo and the baby. Your life is here and mine is there, so it’ll be better to make this a clean break. We always knew it was coming.’
‘But I thought we—’
Her voice broke as she interrupted. ‘Russ, please don’t make it harder for me than it is. I love you but we can’t make a life together. We knew that from the start.’314
‘You decided that. I never agreed about it. I still don’t.’
She couldn’t help it, began to sob. ‘Please Russ, let’s just – remember how wonderful it’s been. This emergency only emphasises for me that I have to live near my family. I can’t bear to make a life permanently away from them – I just can’t.’ She was sobbing so harshly now she didn’t realise for a few seconds that the doorbell had rung and car headlights were shining through the kitchen windows.
‘The taxi’s here. Take care, Russ.’
She didn’t wait for him to answer but cut the connection and went to open the door, still mopping her eyes. ‘S-sorry. I’m a bit upset.’
He gave her a reassuring old man’s pat on the shoulder. ‘I’ll get you to the airport in time, love. This all your luggage?’
‘Yes.’
Her phone rang and it was Russ. She didn’t answer, just locked up the house and put the key through his letterbox. Then she sat in the back of the taxi and shed a few silent tears. She wanted to howl loudly in anguish and only just managed to hold her grief in.
She couldn’t go through another goodbye with Russ after this one. It’d kill her.
The journey seemed interminable and Simone hadn’t thought to get a book to read as she walked through the airport. She didn’t have any reading material on her phone, didn’t like reading electronically anyway.
She tried to watch a film but although she didn’t much fancy any of the ones being offered, she settled in the end for a thriller that had good reviews.315
After watching it for half an hour she couldn’t remember who had done what, because her mind had kept wandering, so she changed to an old musical instead. Since she knew it well, it didn’t matter if she missed parts of it. Which she did.
She wasn’t the only passenger to heave a loud sigh of relief when they got to Perth.
After she’d gone through customs, she found Deb waiting for her outside, pacing up and down behind the rows of seats.
When she realised that her usually elegant daughter was wearing scruffy old jeans and a top that seemed to have been pulled out of a charity package, Simone’s heart gave a lurch of sheer terror.
Her daughter flung her arms round her and they clung to one another for a few seconds, rocking slightly.
‘How’s Clo?’
‘They say she’s recovering nicely. If that’s “nicely”, I hope I never look so awful. They had to do a full hysterectomy, you see, and she was still a bit dopey when I saw her yesterday evening.’
‘And the baby?’
‘Holding her own. They seem cautiously pleased with her progress. But she’s tiny.’
‘Thank goodness. Oh, thank goodness!’
Deb stopped to stare at her. ‘You look terrible, Ma.’
‘So do you.’ She looked down at herself in mild surprise. ‘Didn’t seem to matter what I wore.’
‘It was the same for me. I flung on the first thing that came to hand. What about your new guy? I half expected to see him with you.’316
Simone hesitated, hating to put it into words, then said it. ‘I finished with him.’
‘When? You never said.’
Simone drew a deep breath. ‘I phoned him to tell him before I set off for the airport. It wouldn’t have worked, you see. His whole career is based over there and I couldn’t live away from you all. Not permanently anyway.’
Another stare. ‘You look sad.’
‘Yes, well, I can’t help feeling sad. Russ is a wonderful guy but sometimes circumstances don’t—’ She had to pause to pull herself together enough to continue. ‘Our lives are too different. It can’t work.’
‘Couldn’t he photograph the animals here? Or doesn’t he want to live in Australia?’
‘He’s made a speciality of the creatures that live alongside humans in the UK. He brings the whole interaction to life, makes people care about them, see what’s been right under their noses. He’s making a real contribution to helping save wildlife. He’s brilliant. I couldn’t stop him doing that. It wouldn’t be right.’
‘Oh.’
‘Besides, even if he came to do some filming in Australia, it’d only be temporary and he’d go away again. I love you all too much to live in England permanently.’ She blew her nose hard, trying to hide the tears.
Deb plonked a sudden kiss on her mother’s cheek. ‘You’re still a family first sort of person, aren’t you?’
‘I suppose so. Let’s – talk about something else.’ She gave her nose a final blow, then asked brightly, ‘How are the kids? I bet they’ve grown.’
‘Parker and Marcie are fine. They’re staying with 317Logan’s parents for a day or two. I – wasn’t sure about the – the situation with Clo. I wanted to be easily available if things got, you know, really bad. It was a real screaming siren emergency.’ She shuddered.
Simone gave her another quick hug. ‘Can we go straight to the hospital? I know it’s early morning here, but it’s night inside my head, thanks to the time differences between the two countries. I didn’t manage any sleep on the plane, and I’m tired, but I won’t be able to rest before I’ve seen Clo. Oh, and where am I going to sleep? Did anyone think of that?’
‘Of course we did. I rang the Dittons and explained. They’re going to move out of your house tomorrow and move in with their daughter until they can change their flight back. Tonight you’ll be sleeping at my place, if that’s OK?’
‘Once I’ve seen Clo, made sure she’s all right, I’ll not care if I have to sleep in the garden shed.’
‘We can do better than that for you.’
At the hospital, Deb explained to a stern-faced woman at reception that Clo’s mother had come all the way from England to see her, so they were allowed in even though it was too early for visiting.
‘Just for ten minutes, mind!’
Clo was lying in bed staring blindly into space but when she saw her mother, she tried to sit higher up, winced and held her arms out instead, tears running down her face. ‘You’ve come! Oh, you’ve come, Ma!’
‘Of course I have, you darling dope. Did you think I’d stay away when you needed me?’318
‘I’d deserve it.’
‘How’s the baby?’
‘She’s gorgeous – well, she’s going to be gorgeous. She’s a bit shrivelled-looking at the moment. They’ll let you look at her, but you won’t be able to cuddle her and you’ll have to wear a mask.’
‘She’s holding her own, though?’
‘Yes. Much better this morning, breathing properly. They brought her in to see me a couple of hours ago and I managed to feed her a bit.’
‘She’s as stubborn as her mother, then.’
Clo shook her head. ‘I’ve been too stubborn, wanted to be perfect at everything, job, motherhood, running a home.’ She blinked her eyes. ‘I tried not to let on but I used to get so tired, Ma.’
‘Of course you did. No one can be perfect at everything.’
‘You always seemed to be. Our home was always immaculate.’
‘Is that how you remember it?’
‘Yes, of course.’
Simone couldn’t help smiling. ‘I was the world’s best expert at making a place look good once you two had left home – and I had your father to help me. He secretly enjoyed housework, used to take a real pride in how well the furniture polished up.’
Clo blinked furiously. ‘I remember Dad giving me a lecture once on how to do that properly.’
Simone waited a moment or two then dared to say, ‘You’ll have to let Bob share the jobs from now on, darling. No one can do everything.’
‘I know. He’s said that too. He always intends to do more 319but he can’t always spare the time, so things go downhill.’
‘Then you’ll have to remind him as well as lowering your standards.’
‘Mmm. I suppose so.’
She changed the subject to something more cheerful. ‘What are you calling the baby, Clo? You never said.’
‘It took us ages to agree about that. Georgie.’
‘Short for Georgina?’
‘No, just Georgie.’
The nurse came to interrupt them. ‘Clo needs to rest now.’
Simone gave her daughter a farewell hug, then said pleadingly to the nurse, ‘Can I just have a peep at my new granddaughter before I leave?’
‘You can look but not touch. She’s breathing really well now. She’s a little Aussie battler, that one.’
The baby was tiny and she did look shrivelled, not plump and beautiful as the other two had been. But she opened her eyes suddenly and it looked as if she was watching the brand-new world around her carefully already.
As she and Deb walked out of the hospital, Simone said, ‘Now I can sleep. Am I going to be in your way, though, if I come to your house? I can always go to a motel.’
‘Of course you won’t be in the way. You’re definitely coming home with me. The kids have been getting their junk out of the box room and we can just fit a single bed in it. They’ll be all over you once they get home from school. They’ll have gone for the day by the time we get back.’
Deb gave her a sudden convulsive hug and clung on for longer than usual before getting into the car.
‘What’s that in aid of? You’re not usually a hugger.’320
‘In aid of welcome back. You’re the only Ma I’ve got and I’ve missed you.’
‘I’ve missed you all, too. Did you think I hadn’t?’
‘I wasn’t thinking clearly at first. I am now, I hope.’
Before she went to bed in the tiny box room that evening, Simone checked her phone. Russ had called her ten times, leaving a few loving messages at first, then repeating the same short one: he wasn’t giving up on them staying together.
‘Get used to that, Simone. We’re going to work something out and I’m definitely going to marry you.’
She cried again, shedding tears for her lost dreams. It wasn’t going to happen but it was wonderful to be wanted so much. She smiled through the tears: he hadn’t asked her, he’d told her he was marrying her. Oh, if only!
The following morning she stuffed her clothes into her bags anyhow, then checked her emails. There was one from Henrietta and Elizabeth.
Oh dear, she was going to miss them as well. And Fern. But they’d all stay in touch, she was sure. The modern world was full of ways to communicate. And she’d visit England again, definitely.
Another email came from Russ. She hesitated. Should she block him? No, she couldn’t bear to do that.
Should she reply?
No, she couldn’t bear to do that either. It would bring him too close to chat to him.
Was she doing the right thing?
What else could she do? Young Parker knocked on 321her bedroom door to say goodbye before going off to school and she went to the window to watch him get into someone’s car.
She’d missed her grandchildren. They seemed to have grown a lot during her absence.
She gave a wry smile. She hadn’t missed the school concerts, though, or changed her resolution about never going to one again.
Deb called up that the kettle had just boiled and she went to join her. She was looking forward to moving back into her own home.
She was missing Russ like hell already.
She was so torn between her two worlds.
In Wiltshire, Russ was increasingly thoughtful. He’d never expected Simone to be easy to woo, but the more he’d got to know her, the more he’d fallen in love with her. She’d been so sure that their lives were going to be too different for them to have a successful marriage.
He should have – could have – tried harder to persuade her that it was possible, but he’d been lost in his new programmes. Hell, that must have given her all the more reason to doubt that they could stay together long term. Stupid, that’s what he’d been. He had taken her presence in England for granted, and his ability to persuade her before she went back that they could work things out.
Well, he might have made a mistake there but he wasn’t stupid enough to give her up. He was going to marry Simone, whatever it took.
Why did he love her so much? He smiled fondly as he thought of her. She was a strange mixture of naïve and 322intense, old-fashioned and modern. And she had a beautiful smile. It lit up her whole face.
The trouble was, he couldn’t go after her yet because he really needed to be around for the next week or two, mainly in London.
His guess was that Simone would be more concerned with her daughter and the new baby at the moment. Premature babies didn’t grow bigger overnight.
Simone would make a wonderful wife and life companion, he just knew it. She’d proved that once already with Harvey.
Her first husband must have been a hell of a nice guy, judging by the way she spoke about him. Russ envied her that. His own experience with matrimony had not been nearly as good and had ended in quarrels.
He was going to do better this time, he vowed.
When the Dittons came back from Australia, Russ went next door and explained the situation frankly because he wanted their help. ‘Have you seen her? How is she?’
‘She’s well. We were going to get together with her and her family at our daughter’s before we left but it never happened. Did you get on well with her?’
‘I fell in love with her almost immediately. We were getting together nicely when she had to rush back.’
‘Ah. Her daughters never said.’
‘Simone doesn’t think it can work between us. I have to persuade her it can.’
‘That must be why she looked so sad and quiet when we handed over the house,’ Linda said. ‘Mystery solved.’
‘You think she might be missing me? That would be wonderful.’323
‘You’re still here and she’s still there, though.’
‘I’m going to change that soon. How are her daughter and the baby getting on? Is your daughter still in touch with them?’
‘Yes. She mentions them regularly in her emails. They’ve become very good friends. Clo and the baby were only just starting to get better when we left, but the baby’s making an excellent recovery from being premature.’
‘Well, that’s one worry out of the way.’
Linda studied him for a moment or two in silence, then smiled and patted his hand. ‘You have got it bad, haven’t you?’
‘Yes. Very bad. Permanently bad, I hope.’
‘So, why aren’t you going after her?’
‘I am. But not yet. I have to clear the decks here before I can leave. No use going there for a few days and then having to rush back to finish this project. If I did that, it might give her another reason to think that we can’t make a life together. She’s panicking a little anyway at falling so deeply in love again. I don’t think she’d expected to.’
‘I wish you well, Russ. If there’s anything I can do to help …’
‘I think this is something I’ll have to do myself mainly, but if you hear from her or from anyone there about how she is, I’d be grateful if you’d pass on any news to me. She won’t answer her phone to me. But don’t say I’m planning to go after her. If she or her daughters ask about me, say I’ve been very busy and you’ve hardly seen me.’
She nodded. ‘Can do. Good luck.’
As he walked back to his own house, he was feeling 324highly emotional and kept taking deep breaths in a vain attempt to calm himself.
If he could miss Simone this much after only a few short weeks together, no wonder it had taken her four years to pull herself together after over twenty happy years with Harvey.
He had to sort it out somehow. Just had to. There must be a way for them to get together.