“Blurred Lines”
I finish my shift a little later than planned and catch a cab to Daniel’s building. As promised, I’m still dressed in my scrubs, and as much as I tried to freshen up and make myself look mildly presentable for him, I know I’m not looking my best. Then again, he has seen me after a long shift before. He’s also seen me dressed up for our date last night, then in considerably less this morning. And his actions didn’t exactly give me the impression that he was disgusted by my crazy bed hair and morning breath, I think I’m okay. What’s truly unfair is that he still looked hot as hell, even after a night of little sleep and a lot of crazy monkey sex.
Guys have it so easy, because let’s be honest, I don’t know a single woman who has ever woken up feeling like sunshine and roses like all the tampon commercials lead you to believe.
And speaking of tampon commercials, I certainly don’t walk around with a beaming smile on my face happy with the world that I’m bleeding like a stuck pig for five to seven days and have to stick a two-inch piece of cotton fluff up my vagina. Maybe they should show realistic adverts; bloating, breakouts, sore boobs, a snarl on her face, a heating pad on her tummy, and lots of Motrin. Oh, and all the junk food.
But I digress.
Before I know it, the cab pulls up outside Daniel’s apartment building. As I walk through the lobby, I get a few suspicious glances from the well-to-do suits mulling around, but I hold my head up high, and make sure to add a little swing in my step just for their benefit. I push the call button and hop into the next available elevator. As soon as the doors close, I rummage around my bag and pull out my perfume, giving myself an extra spritz just to make sure. Daniel may be expecting me to be hot and sweaty, but it doesn’t mean I have to smell that way. It’s only been a couple of weeks. We’re still in the honeymoon period of great sex, more great sex, and occasionally mind blowing, feel it to the tip of your toes sex. And I’d like to have at least one of those three tonight. That’s if he’ll still want me after our little talk.
Shit.
Have I really thought this through? Do I need to tell him stuff that I have done the week, the month, the year before I met him? I kind of feel obligated to tell him about my ‘friends’—especially considering one of them is his old college buddy, Noah. I won’t tell him we call him The Walking Dildo, though. They may be friends, and Daniel is definitely not lacking in that department—like at all—but it’s a guy thing. You don’t look down at the urinal because you don’t want to know what your friend is packing.
Besides, I haven’t seen any of them since I’ve met Daniel. I didn’t take up Sean’s invitation for a drink earlier this week, and I’ve seen Noah at work; but there have been no booty calls because as soon as I found out he was friends with Daniel, that deal was dead in the water. His cocky behavior that day was an instant turn off anyway, so there’s definitely no turning back now.
The elevator doors open and I realize it’s now or never. Time to come clean to Daniel and at least set him straight after his whole monogamous/commitment sneak attack this morning.
Coming up to his door, I take a deep breath before knocking. He swings it open and greets me with a huge, sexy, ‘happy to see me’ smile—the contagious kind that you can’t help but give back to him.
“Hey, gorgeous.” Stepping forward, he gives me a soft kiss on the lips. “I grabbed some Thai from a restaurant nearby. I hope that’s okay.” He moves out of the way and ushers me inside. This is the first time I’ve been to Daniel’s apartment, so I take a moment to look around. It’s on the fourteenth floor and has a wall of windows on one side, displaying a spectacular view of the city. The kitchen is on the left-hand side as I walk in, with a nice white dining table and chairs breaking up the living area and the kitchen.
Daniel wraps his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulders, and I can’t help but lean my head against his. “What do you think? Not too bad for a bachelor pad.” He turns his head and plants a light kiss on my favorite spot below my ear.
“It’s great. I love the view.” I walk towards the window to get a closer look. “You can see everything from up here.”
“From where I’m standing, the view is mighty fine.” I turn around and can’t help but grin as he lifts his eyes up to mine from my ass. “Even in my sexy scrubs?”
“All my hot nurse fantasies are coming true,” he adds with a chuckle.
“Let’s get through dinner first,” I say, trying to shake off the nagging voice in my head that’s telling me to fess up now.
“Sure.” His smile falters a little at my shut down. Damn, am I really that obvious?
Leading me to the dining table, he pulls out a chair for me to sit in. Is there anything Mr. Holy Grail of Hotness won’t do? I’m seeing no flaws, and that never happens with men I meet. Noah is arrogant as hell, Sean works way too much and can be a bit short with people when he’s tired, and Zander can sometimes be a little too wild and carefree for my liking. Even if I did the whole relationship thing, I wouldn’t date any of them.
But I find myself here, in Daniel’s apartment, after three weeks of dating, and I’m thinking his only flaw—which isn’t really a flaw at all—is that he’s too patient, especially with me.
I need to tell him. It’s not fair to let him think we could be heading toward a serious, committed relationship when I’m unwilling to give that to any man—even perfect ones. I can’t forget the promise I made to myself. When I left Ohio, that was the only thing that held me together. It got me through the loss and the hurt, and helped me put aside the guilt I felt.
“Mac, are you okay? You look a million miles away?” Daniel grabs my attention, snapping me out of my thoughts. He places a bottle of white wine and two glasses on the table before sitting opposite me. “Wine okay?”
“Yeah, thanks. And sorry, I’m probably just tired after last night’s exertions and then a full shift today,” I reply with a sly smile.
“Not going to apologize for the exertions since I hope to repeat them again sometime soon, but I’m sorry you’re worn out. How about we have a bath after dinner? If you love the view, you’ll love the tub I had put in.” He reaches over to grab my spare hand, squeezing it gently.
Why does he have to be so damn sweet? I mean, seriously. I’m losing my determination to come clean.
“I have fuck buddies,” I blurt out. Fuck! I cover my mouth in shock at my outburst.
He drags his hand back as if in slow motion, looking at me with big wide eyes, choking on his mouthful of fried rice. “So what does that mean exactly?” he asks cautiously. Ah well. I’ve done it now.
“Well… a few years ago I got out of a terrible relationship, like really bad…” He nods as if telling me to continue. “That’s when I left Ohio and came back to Chicago.”
“I wondered what made you come back,” he says, his voice laced with understanding.
“It wasn’t good, and I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t get attached to anyone again, that I’d never let a man dictate my life. Then this morning you said that I’m the only woman who you’re sleeping with, and I wanted to be totally honest with you. It’s been eating away at me all day.”
“Well,” he says, pausing as if to carefully choose his words. “I’m glad you want to be honest with me, Mac, I appreciate that more than you know. But I’m gonna need you to explain the fuck buddy thing, because I’m kind of losing my mind right now with the possibilities.”
“I haven’t slept with anyone since we met, like at all, and I’ve liked our dates and I like you, and I definitely liked what happened last night and this morning, despite my little freak out.”
“I’m still confused. You have multiple men you sleep with?”
“Ah, kind of. They know the score, they know they’re not the only one, and they each give me something different that I need at the time. But we always use protection, just so you know.”
“That’s good. But you said give, so is this going to be an ongoing thing? Even after last night?” I can see his jaw is clenched, and he’s unsure how to handle this.
“Well, I’m not sure. It’s been about a month since I last saw one of them, but if we’re not using protection, I want to be totally honest with you. It’s one of the reasons I was freaking out this morning.” I look down at my plate and start playing with my food, suddenly losing my appetite. In fact, I kind of feel sick now that I’ve come clean.
Without another word, he gets up and walks into the kitchen. Bracing his hands on the counter, I watch as his head drops and his shoulders slump. Every part of me wants to get up and go to him, but I’m not sure he would welcome that right now because I can tell he’s trying to process this. “I need to know, Mac. Are you going to keep seeing them while you’re seeing me?” he says, still not turning around.
“I honestly don’t know, Daniel. I don’t do relationships.” He slowly spins to face me, leaning his hips against the counter. He is clenching and unclenching his fists, putting me on edge.
“Do you want to keep seeing me, dating me?” he asks, lifting his head and staring straight at me, his frown deepening as he looks at me.
“Are we seeing each other? Like exclusively?” I say carefully.
“We’re not not seeing each other, and I definitely don’t want to see anyone else. I don’t want to take another woman out to dinner.” He pushes off the counter and starts stalking towards me, slowly but with a definite purpose. “Or to the pier.” He takes a step. “Or the lake…” He moves closer, my heart rate spikes, my breathing now ragged. How hot is he right now. “And I definitely don’t want another woman in my apartment…” Another step. “… or in my bed, other than you.” He stops in front of me.
I’m basically panting now. He just stalked me in his own living room and made me wet and wanton without even touching me.
I crane my neck up at him. “But it has only been three weeks,” I whisper.
“Three fucking good weeks, gorgeous. Three weeks that make me want to see this through and see where it might go.”
Well, hells bells how can I argue with that?
“Okay,” I breathe. Because if I’m going to not not date someone, I want it to be him.
“So we’re not not dating then,” he says, leaning over the table to rest his hands on my chair, caging me in.
“We’re not not dating,” I confirm with a sly grin.
“I will tell you this, Mac. I’m going to try to be everything you need me to be both in and out of the bedroom because I like seeing you smile. I like seeing you laugh, and I definitely like you when you’re underneath me calling out my name.”
“Oh God,” I whimper.
“And for the record, since I’m on a roll, I already had the impression that you don’t date, but I’m glad you’re willing to try. For you. For me. Maybe for us?” he says, just a whisper’s breath away from my mouth. I tilt my head and get lost in him.
“Okay,” I agree.
“Okay,” he whispers, inching forward and gently brushing his lips against mine before pulling away and sitting down beside me this time.
“There’s one more thing.”
“Mac….” He warns, his tone telling me he’s close to his limit.
“One of the guys, you kind of know him…..well.”
“Oh, shit. No,” he spits out, his eyes alight.
“Ah, yeah,” I say, rubbing the back of my neck. “Surprise, I’m Noah’s nurse.”
“Damn,” he says with a shake of his head. “That explains why he was cockier than usual at the game. You should’ve told me, Mac. We could have just gone straight to our seats. That must’ve been weird for you.”
“Just a little, yeah, but you made it worth it,” I say, putting my hand on his leg.
“No more Noah.” His tone is firm, leaving no room for negotiation.
“God, no. To be honest, his cockiness was getting irritating at best.”
“So why did you keep doing it then?”
“Routine? Familiarity? Knowing that he’s The Walking Dildo?” I say with a quirk of my lips.
His eyes jerk wide. “Fuck. You call him The Walking Dildo?”
I feel my cheeks flame red. “Yeah. It’s kind of his nickname around the hospital.”
He throws his head back and laughs. “Please tell me he doesn’t know about it? That guy’s head is big enough already.”
“You could say that.” I smile over at him. “So you’re really okay with this?”
“Well, I can’t say it’s okay, because I hate knowing you’ve been with Noah Taylor. But if you’re willing to try and see where this goes with me, and only me, then I’m not going to say no, Mac. I have a feeling you’re worth it.” He runs the back of his hand against my cheek before leaning in for a soft, meaningful kiss.
“Does this mean we get to have a bath now? Because I honestly reek, and I kinda want to see you naked again. I’m all for conserving water and saving the planet, you know.” I shoot him a wink before I get up and I take my half-eaten plate to the kitchen to start cleaning up.
“Saving the planet...yes, let’s do that. One shower head induced orgasm at a time,” he says following behind me. He grabs my hand and leads me away from the counter and toward the bathroom. “Do you need a change of clothes because I like the idea of you wearing one of my t-shirts and nothing else.” He waggles his eyebrows at me.
Playful Daniel might just be the death of me.
“Well, I do have a change of clothes, but I like your idea better.”
Daniel tugs my arm, pulling my body hard against him. “I’ve been remembering the way you taste all day. So fucking sweet,” he says, burying his face in my neck as his tongue traces rousing circles up my neck.
I wrap my arms around his neck as my body goes limp against his. “Shouldn’t we start the bath?” I say, my voice giving away how much I really don’t want a bath right now unless it is bathing myself in all things Daniel. I seem to lose my head around this man and his addictive mouth.
He pulls away and gives me his sexy grin, which tells me he knows it too. “I have a better idea now.” I smile when he steps into his huge shower room with its giant rainfall shower head and turns it on. “I need to introduce you to my shower buddy I’m now calling Mac,” he says holding up a bottle of body wash. A giggle escapes my lips, my crazy mind wondering when shower head Daniel can meet up with body wash Mac.
I pull my scrubs off, leaving him with nothing to do but stare at my naked self. What can I say? I was a girl scout, and we were always taught to think one step ahead.
His eyes sear into me as they roam me top to toe. “I like your thinking, Mac.” He moves toward me as he strips off his t-shirt. “God, I’m not sure i’ll ever get enough of you,” he says before we collide, crashing together in a heated tangle of teeth, tongues, and lips. Without pulling apart, he tugs his workout shorts off then grips my ass in his hands and lifts me up so I straddle his waist. He smothers my squeak of surprise with his mouth, his tongue rubbing against mine. I have a feeling this is going to be a long hot shower, my favorite kind.
A few orgasms later and I’m totally spent, lying on my stomach on Daniel’s super soft sheets. I can’t stop staring at him. I know men aren’t meant to be beautiful, but in my post orgasmic haze - a result of his seemingly endless sexual talents - he looks gorgeous.
He looks across the pillow towards me, staring into my half-open, tired eyes.
“What did they give you? You said that each guy gave you something you needed,” he asks absentmindedly, not dropping his gaze from mine.
I’m suddenly hit with a nervous, awkward conversation avoiding, coughing fit.
“Shit. Are you okay?” He knifes up and leans over me, rubbing my back.
“I’m okay,” I gasp as I catch my breath. Shit, that was unexpected.
“Good, I didn’t want my difficult question to kill you for God’s sake.” He stops rubbing my back long enough to roll me over, wrapping his arm around my waist and moving in so that my back is against his rock-hard chest...
After a few minutes of silence, I hear him sigh against my neck as he gently nuzzles my hair. “It’s okay, Mac, you can tell me.”
“I met Sean at a fetish club one night about a year ago.” He makes a noise in his throat but doesn’t speak. “Kate and I went there because we’d heard they made awesome cocktails, and it was the place to be seen. After a few too many tequila shots, we got talking, and it started from there,” I explain, the words flowing out of me like verbal diarrhea.
“Mmm hmm,” he murmurs against my collarbone as he slowly drags his nose against my skin.
“It was never going to work out dating wise, but physically…” I decide to skip past that and move on. “So whenever I’m in the mood for something a bit …different, and he’s in town, we catch up.”
“Define different,” Daniel whispers, his mouth now right behind my ear. The huskiness in his voice sends shivers up my spine. I arch my back, pushing my ass against him. I stifle a moan when I feel his hard length making it’s presence known behind me.
“Ah….he’s a bit ….demanding, shall we say.”
He shifts back slightly on the mattress, his left hand sliding around my hip before caressing my ass cheek. “So, you like to be spanked? Is that it, Mac?” His strained voice gives away how turned on he is at the idea.
“Yes,” I moan just as his hand smacks against my skin. “Ahhh, yes!” I bite my lip, relishing in the delicious burning sensation radiating from my behind.
“More?” he asks, his hand returning to its gentle rubbing motion. I drop my head back against his shoulder, turning toward his inviting lips. “You like that, gorgeous?” he breathes out. I barely nod before he does it again.
It seems that Superman’s talents know no bounds.
It’s just a shame my heart does.