“Daughters”
I rent a car and start the two-hour drive to my parents’ house. It’s been a while since I’ve been out to see them, but we’re always in constant contact.
I’m a bundle of nerves. Noah knows I’m pregnant, I definitely know I’m pregnant, and soon Kate will know too. I left her a note at home to ask if she’d come visit me this weekend. I’m expecting her to blow up my phone as soon as she gets home.
The last time I ran away to my parents like this was when I left Beau. Kate picked me up from the airport and drove me straight out there. I stayed with my parents for two weeks while I tried to piece myself back together. Kate staged an intervention and kidnapped me after that, moving me into her townhouse and telling me to start living my life again or else it would leave me behind. So I went back to school, finished my training and got a job at Northwestern. The rest, they say, is history.
Before hitting the road, I called my boss and explained the situation. She wrote me off for the week, telling me to take care and always make sure I had saltine crackers and ginger ale nearby to combat the morning sickness.
Here’s the thing I’ve found with being pregnant. Everyone wants to give you advice. When I went to the pharmacy to get my prenatal vitamins, the middle-aged shop assistant took great pleasure in patting my non-existent baby bump and asking me all the important details.
How far along are you?
When are you due?
Is your husband over the moon?
I got my own back, though. The look on her face when I explained how lucky I was not to be an elephant with a two-year gestation period was priceless. My parting comment about not knowing who the father is “because I went through a particularly slutty phase around the time of conception,” definitely didn’t slip by unnoticed either. I had a huge smile on my face when I walked out of the store with a bag of pills and a brochure she’d slipped in the bag about STDs. I guess she’s a full-service kind of person.
Pulling into my parent’s driveway, I feel a wash of calm come over me. This is home. This is where I feel centered and anchored. It doesn’t matter what is going on, or the confusing situation I’m now in with the baby, and Daniel, and not knowing how to go about getting him back, I know Mom and Dad will help me figure it all out. Or at least give me the space to get there on my own. That’s what I need right now. Parental wisdom by the bucket load.
“Kenny!” I hear my dad yell out as I step out of my rental. Dumping my bag at the bottom of the porch steps, I take them two at a time and rush into his open arms, bursting into tears the moment his arms wrap tightly around me.
“Baby girl,” he murmurs as I hiccup and snort in his ear. The emotion of the past month overwhelms me.
“Hi, Daddy,” I say, pulling back and wiping my face and nose on my sleeve in a most unladylike way.
“Why the tears?”
“Happy to see you?” I say, smiling through the tears.
“I call bullshit.”
“I do too,” I say sadly.
“A boy?” he asks all knowing.
“The boy.”
His eyes widen then soften. “Well, it’s a good thing you’ve come home then, isn’t it? We’ll get you sorted out lickety split. Your mom’s even made pot roast for supper.”
“I’ve missed you guys so much,” I say, tearing up again. Damn pregnancy hormones. What the hell?
“Hey now. My Kenny has never been much of a crier. A yeller, a screamer, and yes, a bit of a scrapper, but never a crier.”
“Well, I think that’s about to change. Let’s get inside so I can tell you and Mom together.”
With furrowed brows and a long stare, he nods towards the door before grabbing my bag from the bottom of the steps and following me inside.
“Makenna? Is that you?” Mom calls out from the kitchen. I follow the sound of her voice until I see her standing by the kitchen counter, her face beaming the moment she sees me.
“Oh my lord, baby girl. I swear you get more beautiful every day.”
“Mom….” I wrap my arms around her and squeeze her tight as I bury my face into her shoulder.
“What’s going on? Are you in trouble or something? Please don’t tell me that waste of space Beau Gregory has been bothering you.”
“Hell, no! He wouldn’t dare, Mom.”
“It’s a man though, isn’t it? You’ve met someone. I can tell by the look in your eye.”
“Yes. And I think I’ve screwed it all up.”
“Never say that, dear. I’ll make you a coffee, and we’ll talk this all out,” she says, turning toward the coffee maker.
“Ah, I’ll just have a water, please.”
She turns around and quirks a brow. “Water?”
“Ah, yeah, I’m trying to cut back on the caffeine,” I explain.
“Right. Okay.” She sets out to get the drinks. “And how’s Kate? I miss that pretty girl’s face almost as much as yours.”
“Yes, that little fire cracker used to always keep us on our toes,” Dad adds as he joins us in the kitchen.
“She’s great. She’s working today so couldn’t come. And I’ve got a few days off work now anyway.”
“A few days off in the middle of the week, Mac?” Mom murmurs, not missing a beat.
“Ah, I’ve been unwell, so my boss gave me the rest of the week off.”
“Really? What’s wrong? Have you seen a doctor?” Dad cuts in, putting the back of his hand on my forehead. Forever the worry wart.
“Yes, I have, and I’m okay. Well, I will be. It’s kind of what I came here to talk to you about.” I take a deep breath, bracing myself.
I go to take a seat, but stumble as a wave of nausea crashes over me. “Shit” I spit out, running to the kitchen sink and puking down the drain.
“Mac!” my mother cries as I wave her off.
Way to go, bubba. That’s one way to make your presence known, isn’t it?
“Come take a seat, sweetheart. I’ll get you something to calm your stomach. Is it the stomach flu? You came home for some Mom and Dad TLC?” She looks at me with concern as she wipes my mouth with a wet cloth.
“Not exactly…” I say, pausing as I try to work out how to tell them. “Apparently you’re going to be grandparents in about eight months’ time.”
You could hear a pin drop. The kitchen falls deathly quiet.
“Oh, Mac, that’s fantastic news!” she shrieks. She wraps her arms around me and gives me a big bear hug. “John, I’m going to be a nana!”
Dad chuckles in my ear as he hugs me from behind, turning me into the meat in a Lewis family sandwich. I feel calm and centered and home. This is what I needed. This why I came here.
“Well, I don’t know about you, but I definitely need to sit down. I’m guessing you came home because you’re freaked out?” Mom smooths my hair and cups my cheek, the same way she’s always done since I was young.
“You know me well,” I reply with a small smile.
“Right, well let’s just jump straight into Mac freak out level five and pull out the big guns, shall we? John, we need a pillow, a blanket, and some tissues. I’ll bring the hot chocolate and cookies. We’ve got this, baby girl. We’re going to hash this out, the three of us,” Mom says, making me smile.
“And you best be telling me about the boy that’s got you in such a tangle too,” dad murmurs as he leaves the room.
“Okay, Dad,” I say as I walk through to the living room and set up camp on the couch. This has always been the way that we’ve dealt with any problems in my life. From my suspension in elementary school for pushing over the school bully picking on Kate, to my detention for cutting class with Beau, right up until I came home from Ohio with a black eye four years ago. We sit on the couch with pillows and blankets and all three of us—sometimes four when Kate is here—talk it out.
Once we’re all set up, Mom gives me a knowing look and waits for me to start. “So, how did this happen?”
“Mom, when a guy and a girl like each other, they—” I begin with a smirk.
“Mac, quit it. I know how babies are made. I want to know how my future grandchild came about because when I talked to you a month ago, you didn’t mention you were seeing anyone. I thought you were just having fun with those casual friends of yours. What do they call them these days, John?”
“Friends with benefits,” he replies deadpan, shifting around and failing to hide his awkwardness in discussing my sex life. Typical dad like behavior.
“Yes, that.” She turns back to me. “I thought you just had them. You told me you didn’t want a boyfriend.”
“It’s not like I was looking for one, but Daniel kind of snuck up on me.”
“Daniel. That’s a nice, powerful name. What’s his surname? Where’s he from?” Dad asks, starting the expected interrogation.
I roll my eyes and laugh. “Dad, I’m not in high school anymore. It’s not about who they hang with and who their family are. I can tell you he’s a great guy and he treated me well, I just screwed up.” Tears well in my eyes. What the hell is with all the tears? Am I going to be a great big leaky blimp for the next nine months?
“Now, now, I’m sure it’s nothing that can’t be fixed. You love him right?” Mom asks, grabbing my hand and squeezing it gently to reassure me. “You wouldn’t be this twisted up if you didn’t have strong feelings.”
“Yeah I do, but just when I thought I could actually be with him, I ran away. I broke his heart the same time I was breaking mine.”
“Kenny, if you love him, and you’re having a baby together, surely you can work it out?” Dad asks, forever the optimist.
“I only found out today, and you’re the only people that know other than my friend Noah from work.”
“Not even Kate?” Mom gasps. “You and Kate tell each other everything.”
“I know, and I will, but this whole thing has thrown me for a loop. What if I miscarry again? I want this baby. I want Daniel’s baby. I don’t know if I could go through that kind of loss again.”
“We can’t know what will happen, Kenny. You just need to take it easy and listen to the doctors, and keep positive. You do need to tell this Daniel fellow he’s going to be a father. He deserves to know whether you’re together or not, because he’ll always be a part of the baby’s life.” Dad finishes off his speech with a kiss on my temple. “But if you love him, you’ll find a way. You always do.”
I turn to Mom, who is now crying too. “Oh, Mom, I’m sorry. Don’t get upset.”
She shakes her head and pulls me into her side. “I’m not, baby. I just forgot how sweet your father is. He’s right. If you love Daniel, and you want to be with him, you need to pull your big girl panties on and go get your man. Broken hearts can be mended, mistakes can be forgiven. Admitting them is the first step. Besides, I want to meet this man who made my baby girl fall in love. Because I know you, Mac, he’d have to be one hell of a man for you to break your vow.”
“He is. I even think he’s part superhero,” I whisper to her with a grin.
“As long as he hides his spandex suit from me, we’ll get along just fine,” Dad pipes up, making us both laugh.
Feeling a lot better than when I arrived, I manage to eat some dinner before crawling into bed, just as my phone starts blowing up with messages from Kate.
Kate: What the hell, Mac? Are you okay?
Mac: I’m okay. Need to tell you something, though.
Kate: Tell me now.
Mac: I’ll be home on the weekend. You don’t have to come.
Kate: Don’t be a doofus. Of course I’m coming up. You need me, I’m there. Anytime, anywhere.
Mac: Doofus?
Kate: You sure you’re okay, babe?
Mac: I will be. See you tomorrow night. You okay there by yourself?
Kate: Always. Love you, babe.
Mac: Love you too.
Unable to sleep, I lay on my back, snuggling down in my childhood bed, and dream of what my life with a child might be like. Front and center in my dream is the man I want to share it with.
In a moment of weakness, I grab my phone and type out a text, sending it before I can reconsider. Three weeks of no contact and it takes a surprise pregnancy to spur me on. Go figure.
Mac: Lying in bed staring at the ceiling, and all I can think about is a certain superhero who always makes me feel like I’m the only woman in the room.
Daniel: That’s easy because Superman only ever has eyes for Lois Lane
Mac: I want to be that girl. I want to try and be that girl for you.
Daniel: You don’t need to try. You’re all I ever see, gorgeous
Mac: I’m sorry for not believing in us
That message gets no reply. I guess that means the ball’s in my court. Now all I need to do is swallow my pride and get him back once and for all.