Sophie
I left the restaurant and walked across the parking lot, feeling completely and utterly defeated. The whole night had been an utter disaster. Not only did I make a complete ass of myself, but I also injured my best friend. That cut looked pretty bad. I crawled into the driver’s seat of my car, threw my purse on the floor, and started the engine. I sat there for a few moments trying to center myself and finally pulled out of the spot.
I blew out a breath as I pulled up to a stoplight. The feeling of humiliation continued to sink in. There was no coming back from this now. Why hadn't I really thought through the entire conversation? I slammed my hand down on the steering wheel, annoyed with myself. I really didn't know what I was expecting. Had I expected him to be like he had always been: eager to help me with whatever dilemma I had been facing? Perhaps that was just it. Perhaps I had expected him to turn around and instantly agree. Instead, he had cut his hand, hadn't eaten dinner, and barely said two words to me the entire time we had been at the restaurant. He also had drank one too many Crown and Cokes, and I just left him there to fend for himself.
I should have turned around and went back to get him, make sure he got home safe, but instead I turned the radio on and proceeded through the green light, the guilt of the night sinking farther into me. What if I had just ruined our lifetime friendship? My stomach sank at the thought of no longer having Chase around. The thought of not having him in my life nearly made me sick.
A blaring horn pulled me from the thought, and I immediately noticed I was driving into the oncoming lane. I quickly righted my vehicle and drove a ways down the road to my apartment.
I locked the door behind me, turning on lights as I entered my condo. I kicked off my shoes, dropped my purse on the floor, and slipped out of my coat, hanging it in the small closet. My mind was still racing a mile a minute over how I could have done things so differently.
I grabbed the remote from the table and turned the TV on, drowning out the quiet of my apartment, and wandered down the hall to my bedroom. I looked at myself in the full-length mirror, my makeup slightly smudged now from the few tears that I hadn't even realized had fallen on my way home. I turned away from my reflection and unzipped my dress, letting it fall to a pile in the middle of the room. I slipped out of my bra and panties and put on my sweats that were lying on the bottom of my bed. I needed to relax. I quickly washed my face, put my hair up in a messy bun, and shut the light off.
Time had passed once I had found something on TV, and I now lay on the couch trying to get lost in an episode of Friends; however, the only thing on my mind was how I had foolishly proposed my bright idea to Chase. Over and over, the words I had so casually dropped ran through my mind like a bad nightmare. Perhaps I should have been more prepared than I was. Perhaps I should have written them all down to present to him in a more business-like way. He may have been more receptive if I’d had everything in a nice presentation folder, like one of his legal briefs he had shown me numerous times. Nevertheless, the damage was done, and it was out in the open now, and all I could do was wait. Wait for his answer, either yes or no, or perhaps he would say “Get away from me, Sophie, and don't bother coming around again.” Honestly, I wasn't even sure what it was I expected him to say. Was I really expecting him to drop everything and say yes? Or was the answer he gave me more the one I was expecting?
I reached for the phone and relaxed back against the pillow behind me and debated calling Chase and apologizing. I dropped my head back against the pillow and pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to gather up the courage to dial Chase's number. Instead, I let out a sigh and called Jenna. I needed to talk to her, but the phone just rang and rang. I was just about to give up when I heard her answer completely out of breath.
"It’s about time you called me!" Jenna blurted into the phone. "You said you would call by seven."
"Yeah, sorry, I lost track of time. What were you doing? You're all out of breath. Oh my God, I didn't...I didn't interrupt anything, did I?" I questioned, my face heating.
Jenna broke out in laughter. "Good Lord, girl, Matt isn't even home from the office yet. Besides, if you think I would answer the phone in the middle of that, you are crazier than I originally thought. If you must know, I was running on the treadmill. Get your head out of the gutter. I'm trying to be good this month. I fell off the wagon last month going to Aroma Mocha almost every weekend, and my waistline is showing it."
"Girl you are crazy. You're perfect!" I glanced at my watch. "Besides, it’s almost ten. You should be in your sweats relaxing."
"Ha, tell that to my jeans, and I'm in my sweats. Also, running is a form of relaxation I guess." She giggled. "So what took you so long to call me? You could have saved me from all this torture tonight, and we could have gone and gotten ice cream."
I let out a small laugh. "I had somewhere I needed to be after work."
"You had somewhere you needed to be? Where? You basically live at the office, and when you aren't there you are at home."
"Well, I had something to do after work. I just got home about a half an hour ago."
"You had something to do after work. Why are you being so vague? You tell me everything. So, do you care to share with your good ol’ friend? Stop making me have to try and guess."
I giggled. This was just like Jenna; she always had to know where I was. "I had dinner plans."
"Oooh, anyone I know?"
I let out a deep breath. "If you must know, I had dinner with Chase." We both grew quiet until I cleared my throat. "I did it." I couldn't hold back any longer.
"You did what?" she asked curiously.
After that afternoon at the coffee shop, and after my breakup with Roger, we had talked at great lengths about me asking one of our close friends to be the father of my child. I had been adamant at first, but she had been totally supportive and kept telling me to just go for it.
"I asked Chase to be the father of my child."
I heard a gurgle and a cough on the other end of the phone as Jenna choked on whatever it was she was drinking. "You did what?"
"You heard me."
"Well, what did he say?"
I let out a little laugh, remembering his face as I had asked him. "Well, it didn't go as smoothly as I thought it would. First, he sliced his hand open."
"What? No, I mean, what did he say to your question?"
"He said he would think about it."
"Oh my! And you told him everything, right?"
I let out a sigh. Perhaps if had I told him everything, his answer might have been different. "Well, if he hadn't been bleeding all over the place I might have, but no, I didn't. Do you think I should have told him everything?"
Jenna started to laugh. "Sophie, it may have helped your case if you had. Don't you think?"
"Perhaps. I don't know, maybe this really is a bad idea."
"Why do you say that?"
I laughed. "If you had seen his face, you'd be thinking the same thing. I can only imagine what the other guys would have said if I had asked one of them."
"Girl, you are crazy."
"No, I'm serious. I also keep thinking that if I had just gone in there with everything written down and in a true proposal style, he may have looked at the entire situation differently. Maybe more like a business deal."
"Perhaps if you had delivered all the goods, then he might have jumped at the chance. Listen, I've got to go. Matt just walked through the door. Call me later and we will talk, okay?"
"All right, night."
"Seriously, Soph, talk to him, give him all the goods."
"Good night, Jenna!"
I hung up the phone and turned the TV off. Shutting the lights off, I grabbed my cell phone and headed to the bedroom. I crawled into bed and lay facing the floor-to-ceiling window, looking at the lights of the city like I did every night. My mind was still running over everything that had happened tonight. Jenna was right. If I had given him all the details up front, perhaps his answer might have been yes. However, I was glad I had held back because he might have cut his hand off too. I giggled at the thought. I grabbed my cell phone from the side table and quickly opened a text message to Chase.
I typed feverishly at first, then decided to delete everything and began again. I couldn't just come out and say it like I was planning to. I had no clue where he was. He could have been behind the wheel of his car, God forbid. Besides, I didn't want him to get the information through a text either.
ME: Would you be able to meet me tomorrow for lunch. At the risk of sounding like those infomercials we used to watch as kids...but wait! There's more…but wait, there is more, and I want another chance to discuss this with you.
I blew out a breath and placed my cell phone on the table, closed my eyes, and tried to fall into a deep sleep.