Chapter Nine

“Where to?”

“Straight through town,” I said. “Only about a mile. I’ll let you know when to stop.”

Avery backed out of the driveway, and while his eyes should’ve been focused on the unfamiliar street in front of him, I felt his glance fall to me more than once or twice in a matter of a minute.

“Watch the road,” I said, pretending it was my safety I was concerned for, but it was really his stare that made me nervous.

Was he looking at me because I’d curled my hair? Or was it the makeup? I’d never worn make up around him. Had I overdone my eyeliner or lip gloss? Was mascara clumped in my lashes? I was suddenly self-conscious, regretting the sixty minutes of prep time I’d spent in the bathroom before he’d picked me up.

“I look like a clown. Go ahead, say it.”

“No,” he said, a little too emphatically. “It’s . . . different, that’s all.”

“Bad different?”

“No.”

“Different how?”

“I’m not going to say it.”

“You’ve already said too much, so you might as well—”

“You look beautiful,” he said, muttering something under his breath. “I just . . . liked the way you looked before, that’s all.”

A pinkish tone invaded his cheeks, and Avery didn’t dare look in my direction after admitting that.

“You can pull in here,” I said, pointing to a familiar driveway and pretending like I hadn’t just badgered Avery into admitting he thought I was beautiful. That hadn’t been my angle, but I didn’t regret it, regardless. “My friend Ally lives here.” I pointed to the neighboring house. “And Carter lives there.”

“Best friends?”

“And Mel,” I said. “The four of us are inseparable.”

“So I’m meeting the friends tonight?” he asked, and his hands trembled on the steering wheel.

“No. Nobody’s home.”

Which was the norm for Ally these days. Ever since things blew up so colossally with her dad last month, they were both trying a little harder to reconnect and rebuild their relationship.

Tuesday nights were date nights. Ally’s dad would take her out for a father-daughter meal, maybe a movie. And that was pretty huge, considering weeks ago we were worried about the state of her health and safety.

Her mother’s death, her runaway sister . . . it’d taken such a toll on her dad. And sometimes I’d hated him for how much he’d let his pain distract him from the one good thing he had left in his life. Ally had an incredibly forgiving soul, and she’d never given up on him. I was glad he’d finally realized that. I was happy to see things turning around for her.

Knowing we had a while before we’d have to vacate the driveway, I didn’t bother finding a pen to leave a note. Besides, we’d be gone long before they got back to wonder who’d taken up a spot at their house.

“You up for a walk?”

He glanced around, probably realizing there weren’t many places we could walk to. I pointed back to The Red Barn looming at the edge of the property, the place that’d once housed some of the most festive parties in Sutton Woods. But it wasn’t the barn I wanted to show him; it was what was behind it.

“We’re going in the woods?”

“You scared?” I asked.

“A little bit,” he admitted. “The last time we were alone in the woods you yelled at me.”

“I won’t yell this time. And I’ll even keep my clothes on.”

He smirked, and I let myself out of the SUV. I met Avery at the front of the car, and we walked together toward the back of the Montgomery property.

Through the field, we passed the barn, the storage shed, and then came upon the woods.

“It’s not too far back, but there’s quite a bit of hiking.”

“I can handle it.”

We entered the woods, and the day suddenly fell darker. The trees shaded the familiar path, blocking out the sunlight that’d warmed my skin on the drive over. Thankfully, we’d both bundled up enough that the cool breeze didn’t overwhelm what little sunlight peeked through the leaves.

“Did Wes put you to work today?”

“Ha!” He grinned. “He tried paying me to stop working. I was more bothersome than I was useful.”

“Yeah?”

“I wasn’t cut out for mechanical work.”

“But you wore the grease well,” I teased.

“That’s really all that matters.” He looked over to me as we walked, and I felt that same familiar burning on the side of my cheek that I’d felt in the car. He was watching me again.

“What?” I asked.

“What’s your mom going to say when she finds out we’re out here?”

“Meaning?”

“Where does she think you are?”

“I haven’t talked to her. I told Dad I was leaving with a friend.”

“Right. And they’ll know that’s me?”

“I’m sure on some level they will. Why’s it matter?”

He blew a deep breath through his lips. “You’re out here in the woods, alone, with a boy your mother hates.”

“She doesn’t hate you.”

“She hates me.”

I studied his expression harder, searching for something beyond his words. What had she said to him? “She’s the reason you left early last night. She asked you to leave?”

“No.”

“Are you lying?”

“It’s hard to say.” He grinned. “Change of subject.”

“Are you going to rehab?”

“So back to your mom,” he said, wide-eyed, obviously surprised by my question. And although he’d joked to avoid the subject, his shoulders sank at the realization that I expected nothing less than the truth. “Yes.”

That confirmed it. No more rumors. No speculation. Just truth. No one goes to rehab if they don’t have a problem, and Avery’s admission left a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. Of all the men in the world, I yearned for someone with a drug addiction. I’d suspected that all along, but somehow I thought I could ignore the glaring facts. Part of me wanted to know as much as he wanted to share, but a much bigger part prayed he would spare the details.

“I’m going to rehab,” he said again, almost as if he still hadn’t come to terms with it. “I don’t want to, but I have to.”

“Hey, that’s my line,” I said, but my tone fell flat—far from the intended lighthearted tease. The moment was too serious for jokes.

Avery still managed a smirk. “The meeting I was telling you about . . .”

“On the first,” I said. “With your network.”

“I have to agree to check into a rehab facility.”

“And if you don’t?”

“They fire me.”

“But you know they can’t do that,” I said, relying on my prior knowledge of Avery’s career. “You’re only three seasons into a five-year contract.”

“A contract that means nothing when it’s backed by a morality clause—one I signed. One I agreed to.”

“What is that?”

“Negative behavior, bad press, scandal . . . anything—personally or professionally—that reflects poorly on me, the show, or the network is cause for early termination of my contract.” He ran his hand across the back of his hair. “They’d already given me a warning because of the publicity stunt with Evie.”

“Yeah, what’s the deal with that, anyway?”

“I’d kept a low profile for a while, pulling back on my attendance at premiers and parties,” he explained. “I wanted to manage my time wisely so that I could focus more energy on projects I felt passionate about. But the press gets bored when there’s no story to chase.”

“So you created a story?”

“At Evie’s insistence, yes. I took too much time away from the social demands, and I fell into the shadows. With award nominations coming up, I was encouraged to take a risk with my personal life to focus the spotlight back on my career. No such thing as bad publicity, right?”

“Okay, even I know that’s a load of crap,” I said, shaking my head. “Why did you agree to do that?”

“Because I didn’t consider the repercussions. I acted impulsively—stupidly I’d forgotten about the morality clause. When Evie suggested a rumored affair, I went for it. I trusted her advice. I trusted her, and the network retaliated.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I had to let her go.”

“Obviously.” He’d literally handed her his image, and she’d taken the first swing at destroying it. That’s not the kind of person you want standing in your corner.

“When I met with the team earlier this month, I was already walking thin ice. They handed down my suspension because of the arrest, along with the terms. I have until noon on the first day of December to enroll in a rehab program, otherwise my role is terminated.”

“And you want to do the show?”

“Of course I do. It’s my life. It’s everything to me.”

“So that’s why you wanted to strike up the deal with me?” I asked, understanding a little better than I had before. “You were trying to avoid rehab?”

“It was worth a shot, you know? To go in there for that meeting and beg for a second chance, hoping they’d take rehab off the table. I thought if I could prove some responsibility and stability all on my own that they’d show some leniency.”

“But wouldn’t rehab be a good thing? Maybe it’s not such a bad idea to—”

“I don’t have a drug problem, Roz,” he said, tipping his head back to look at the trees, and his cool front crumbled with his admission. His nerves had taken over his steady voice, and I had to wonder if Avery was admitting something he’d never said out loud before. “The drugs weren’t mine.”

I sensed honesty in that confession, but I was hesitant to accept it so easily. If I had a dollar for every time someone had said those words, I’d have more than enough money to pay off Sara Oliver’s demands. That was the lamest of attempts at excusing criminal behavior, but I saw it all the time. I watched TV—people pulled stunts like that everyday. It’s not mine. I was framed!

I wanted to believe Avery, but how could he possibly argue the evidence against him?

As if he’d read my mind, he said, “I wasn’t even at that Halloween party for the party. I was there to pick up a friend who wasn’t supposed to be there, and I . . .” He bit his lip, as if he had no idea how to finish his sentence. “Wrong place, wrong time, I guess. I searched the building high and low until I found her in a small crowd of people in the back, discreetly accepting her latest purchase from a known dealer. She locked eyes with me, and she knew she’d been caught. And when she shoved the drugs in her bag, I stole the bag.”

“So you’re a thief, too?” I cracked a joke, but Avery didn’t smile this time.

“She caused a huge scene, screaming that I’d stolen her purse. She demanded that I return her things, and so I did. But not before I pocketed the thing she wanted most; I wouldn’t hand her a free pass to act so recklessly. By the time things had escalated to the point of screaming and confrontation, the police were on the scene . . . and the guy shoving drugs into his pocket got arrested.”

“Oh,” I said, rounding my lips. None of that was ever publicized. I’d only read something about a police response to a dispute at an LA party and Avery’s arrest following the call. The details were never released. “But you pled guilty.”

“I was,” he said. “I pled guilty to possession because I was in possession.”

“But you didn’t try to explain to the police that—”

“No,” he said. “I couldn’t do that to her.”

“So you took a criminal charge for a friend? What the hell’s wrong with you?”

“You’re telling me you wouldn’t do the same thing? What’re their names again? Ally, Carter, and—”

“Mel.”

“You’re telling you wouldn’t take the rap for one of them? If someone you loved was in trouble . . . what would you do?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think I’d ever take the fall for—”

“Who’s Sara Oliver?” he asked, as if he already knew that he and I weren’t really all that different. He was onto me. I just wished now that I’d never admitted half of what I’d said in a moment of desperation.

“She’s nobody.”

“Except the person your brother’s indebted to. Drug money, I assume?” I looked down, and Avery’s smooth voice suddenly got a little cocky. “And look at that, you’re covering for him.”

“That’s different, though. No one’s been arrested. And he’s my brother. I’m trying to protect my family.”

“Which was exactly what I was doing,” he said. “We don’t share DNA, but every single person who walks into that studio is my family.”

I perked up. “You were protecting someone from the show?”

“We all signed the same contract. And if one of us is going to lose a job . . . well, they need her more than they need me.”

That’s all he had to say, because I knew the ins and outs of Where You Belong like I knew my best friends.

Sterling and Anna were the couple that kept that show breathing and alive, and despite his eternal love for his mortal soul mate, Anna’s character was always exploring new love interests. The writers were always throwing in hot new mythical creatures to compete with Sterling for Anna’s affection, and the fans ate it up. From week to week, we never knew where her heart would take her. Ultimately, it was her curious heart and uncontrollable lust that hooked so many fans. Sterling was just the sweet cherry on top—the hero we always rooted for. But Anna made the show.

Avery was trying to save a whole lot more than Gwen Friedman, the actress responsible for bringing Anna to life. He was trying to save Anna, because without her, there was no show. Where You Belong hinged on the life of the main character, and without her, they had nothing. Avery had made a choice; he’d rather see the show survive without him than to die altogether because of Gwen’s bad decisions.

I stopped walking and Avery slowed.

He turned back. “You okay?”

“I feel like an even bigger ass now.” I said the words before I could stop them. Avery’s confession hadn’t made me feel any less guilty for the way I’d treated him. There was truth in Avery’s eyes, something that begged me to consider his sincerity, and I did. I believed him. And I was angry at myself for ever believing any of the lies or half-truths I’d gotten from the media. They’d publicize anything for a big reaction, and I, like the rest of the idiot fans out there, believed every word when I didn’t know a fraction of the truth.

“Avery, I shouldn’t have lashed out at you. I was—”

“You don’t have to—”

“Yes, I do. I knew two nights ago that I needed to apologize, and I couldn’t find the courage to do it, because it meant admitting I was wrong,” I said. “And I wanted to talk last night, to tell you that I was sorry, but I never found the moment. And now . . . God, now I have to. No more excuses. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t understand what you’re apologizing for,” he said, and the tension in my shoulders melted. He didn’t understand, because he’d let himself believe he deserved the consequences. He was too nice to realize that it was never acceptable for someone to treat him the way I had, regardless of the circumstances. The press had victimized him for so long—he was so used to being kicked around—that he’d accepted this as normal behavior.

And it wasn’t okay. It was never okay.

“I yelled at you, but I was never angry with you. It was just the stupid situation,” I said. “It was easier to use you as a punching bag than to accept what was really bothering me. And I’m sorry. I should’ve never—”

“Roz, hey.” He reached forward to steady my arms at my sides. I hadn’t realized I was flailing. I just wanted to shout I’m sorry a thousand times, begging him to forgive me. “What do you mean? What’s really bothering you?”

“Everything changed on Halloween,” I said. “It was supposed to be an amazing night; Ally had planned this huge birthday party for Carter, and we’d gone out to The Red Barn to celebrate. But somehow my brother’s ex-girlfriend found out about the party, and she showed up. She cornered me outside—angry and on a mission—as I was leaving. She kept using the word steroids, throwing it in my face like she couldn’t believe I was oblivious to how much and how often Daniel was using. But I was. I’d credited years of training to how big, and strong, and fast he’d gotten. Sara painted a much different picture.”

“Why would she corner you?”

“She’s the worst kind of scorned ex. Daniel broke up with her at the end of the summer, and it was a messy break up. She’d stood by his side, cheered on the sidelines, and promised to play the role of doting girlfriend to the all-star quarterback. She had this picture-perfect image of how their lives would play out together. Sara wanted a happily ever after, but Daniel wanted to focus on his football career. And when he called it quits, she spent weeks stewing; at some point, she decided she had the ultimate way to get back at him, so she took her first strike.

“She’d been stealing the money from her grandparents to pay for his pills and injections,” I said. “For a whole year, she backed his habit with stolen money. And after he dumped her, she demanded every penny of it back, or else she was going to expose all of the details of what he’d been doing for the last year.”

Avery shook his head. “How did she steal five thousand dollars without anyone noticing?”

“She didn’t. I asked for the receipts. The withdrawals were always in little increments, here and there, sometimes months apart—never a lot at one time. There was nothing suspicious enough to raise any red flags. But the little sums added up, and in twelve months, they’d spent twenty-five-hundred dollars on illegal drugs.”

“He owes her twenty-five-hundred dollars,” Avery said, trying to make sense of everything. “So why is she demanding twice that much?”

“For her trouble, apparently. Because she’s the one who will take the fall if her super-rich family ever realizes they’re missing money. Not to mention she kept his secret. I’m essentially paying for her silence. Or, I would be, but . . . we have three months. I don’t know how she determined that timeline, or how she picked the due date, but that’s what she’s decided. Three months, five thousand dollars, or Daniel’s reputation is ruined forever.”

A nod confirmed that Avery understood the dilemma, but there was still confusion etched in the lines around his eyes.

“I understand not wanting to get your brother in trouble,” he said. “But I think you’re in way over your head here.”

“You’re telling me. I don’t have that kind of money.”

“I’m talking about all of it, Roz—theft, drugs, blackmail, hush money. This isn’t something you should be caught up in. You need to talk to your parents.”

“And tell them what? The truth?”

“That seems like a good place to start.”

“Right, like you’ve told your network the truth about your arrest.”

“I’m not tangled up in an elaborate blackmail scheme.”

“No, you’re just risking your livelihood to protect a friend—one who obviously doesn’t appreciate what you’ve done for her.”

“Okay, so we’re both culpable idiots. And I’m sorry to call you an idiot, but—”

“It’s okay.” I sighed. “I am.”

“Roz, you haven’t done anything wrong, you know that? You’re letting all of this fall on your shoulders, and for what? What about Daniel? What’s he doing to accept responsibility?”

“Nothing. That’s why Sara came to me. She said he refused to pony up the money, because he never thought she’d have the nerve to come clean. If she exposed him, that meant exposing her theft, and he didn’t think she’d ever admit her part in it. So when she couldn’t get what she wanted from him, she came to me. He has no idea I know.”

“And you think she’ll retaliate?”

“Oh, she’ll tell the world. I’ve never met a bigger gossip. Daniel’s whole future will crumble if this gets out. He just won the state championship, and he’s in line for athletic scholarships that’ll change his life. He could go pro! He’ll lose all of that; Sutton Woods will lose their title because of him. The rest of the team earned that win, but they could have it all stripped away because of Daniel. Can you imagine that kind of humiliation? People commit suicide because of stuff like this.”

The thought of losing Daniel knocked the wind out of me. It was a feeling I’d become all too familiar with. I’d lost so much sleep worrying about him, wondering how he would react if his usage blew up in his face. Would he buckle beneath the criticism and humiliation? Would he survive Dad’s heartache and Mom’s disappointment? Would he be able to live with what he’d done?

Daniel’s choices held the potential to cause a ripple effect, and I prayed that one stupid mistake wouldn’t lead to another. If I thought steroids were enough to hurt our family, I couldn’t begin to imagine what suicide would do. Not only would I lose my kid brother, but my parents would lose one of the most precious treasures of their lives.

I’d told myself that I hated him, but the truth wasn’t that simple. I didn’t hate him at all. It was my disappointment that’d left me so angry. But as disappointed as I was, I couldn’t fathom living a single day on this Earth without Daniel.

While we’d grown apart over the years, nothing would ever change the facts. We were born ten months apart, and he was the closest thing I’d ever have to a twin. He was my best friend in all those years leading up to kindergarten, and he’d always stood at my side—protecting me when I couldn’t protect myself. Whether it was a skinned elbow, a bee sting, or a playground bully, Daniel was my ride or die. No matter what came our way, we’d stick it out together, and if we couldn’t beat the odds, we’d go down fighting for each other with each other.

That would never change.

He was my childhood. He was my baby brother—the one I’d always go to bat for. I’d fight for him with every ounce of strength and willpower I had, because he was my family, and I knew he’d do the same for me. He was my first friend—the person who’d given me some of the best years of my life. I loved that stupid jerk.

“I can’t lose him, Avery.”

“You’re afraid you will? Is he suicidal?”

“I don’t know, but if you take his whole world away, then what does he have to live for?” I asked, starting to cry. “It scares me. My dad . . . and my mom . . . they believe in him. They’re proud of him. I don’t think our family would survive the truth.”

“Are we wrong?” he asked, wiping my tears. “Helping people who won’t help themselves, all in the name of protecting what we love? Does that make us the bad guys?”

“I don’t know. If they’re never held accountable, they’ll never know the consequences. And when they get away with it once, who’s to say they won’t keep trying? We have the ability to stop it, but we don’t, because—”

“We’re idiots,” he said again, and that time I smiled.

“Idiots who love too much.”

“Well, at least we can be idiots together,” he said, nudging me. “Come on. Let’s keep walking.”