CHAPTER 12

The next day, Donna caught Chloe in the yard, and chewed her out for abandoning her cousin at the party. Allyson stopped talking to her mother for a few days. Donna felt like shit. She’d just been trying to help, and she’d made things worse.

Right before August ended, Chloe left for school. They had a family burger night to commemorate her leaving. During dinner, Allyson sat at the other end of the table from her cousin, and they didn’t talk at all. Donna wondered if she was the only one who noticed the silence between the two girls. The night revolved around Chloe. She told them all about her new apartment with Jamie and the classes she was going to take. She was excited to visit the West Edmonton Mall more often. Gord, Donna, Craig and Linda toasted Chloe and wished her well. The next day, Craig and Linda packed up their truck with Chloe’s things. Chloe fired up her Celica, and Donna watched the convoy trundle out of the yard. Everything seemed so quiet after the two vehicles left.

In early fall, representatives from Alberta Agriculture came to town to hold a session on animal nutrition and applying for government assistance. People had talked about aid packages for a while, but nothing had come down the pipe. There were rumours people in government were working round the clock trying to pull something together. The Ministers of Agriculture, both provincial and federal, were lobbying hard, trying to get the border open. Phil Hill said Alberta Beef Producers was trying hard to find a solution and get the ranchers some money. Everyone was working.

“You know this is serious,” Phil Hill said, when he told Donna about it. “Those government boys don’t work on ­weekends.”

Donna normally wouldn’t attend an Alberta beef seminar, but she was still working with Carmen’s Catering.

This gig meant Donna had only one full day off and worked double shifts sometimes, but she didn’t care. Keeping busy was better than being home, worrying about money, about her family, or about the farm.

Since they found out that the farm was in Abby’s name, the two couples still hadn’t had a conversation about it. They pretended her outburst last fall had never happened.

Donna walked into the multiplex, carrying a tray of lemon squares, haystacks and butter tarts as Carmen followed behind her with her arms loaded up with trays of sandwiches. They walked past the pool and daycare to the room full of farmers at the back. Baking for Carmen was one of Donna’s greatest joys right now. Back in the kitchen at Carmen’s shop, she turned up the country music, danced a little, and concentrated on baking, something she could control and was good at. She loved the smells and the satisfaction she got from making everything perfectly, and the praise Carmen gave her when she saw the results of Donna’s work.

The meeting was packed. Gord had told her sometimes government sessions weren’t well attended, but people had driven in from other counties to make it to this one. Everyone was hurting and needed government money.

Donna and Carmen walked past the rows of men sitting at long tables. As Donna passed by, she heard one man in a black Stetson say to his neighbour, “How long is this going to take? I can’t handle this anymore. We’re bleeding out.”

A man in a burgundy sweater and dress pants stood in front of the room.

“We’re trying to get the money out as fast as we can,” said a young woman standing next to him. She had long brown hair and freckles and couldn’t have been much older than Clay. Was the government so in need of workers that they had started to hire children?

“You just need to fill out these forms and we’ll get the show on the road,” the woman said. “You’ll get the money as soon as possible. No one wants anyone to go under.”

Donna helped Carmen refill the coffee pot and replaced the creamers sitting in a bowl of ice. The government officials kept on trying to respond to questions from the men. The men wanted answers, wanted to know what was happening, why the money wasn’t going to come sooner. One angry man in a green John Deere cap asked if the money would be enough. When was the border going to open?

“Let’s just take a coffee break now,” the young woman said. “I can see that the snacks are here, and the coffee’s been refilled.”

“One thing before we break,” the man in the burgundy sweater said. “We’ve got a grief counsellor travelling with us. She’s got cards and pamphlets and she’s out there if you want to talk.”

He looked down at his shoes. “We’ll start up again in twenty minutes.”

The men stood up and began talking to each other. There was a lot less laughter than Donna had heard when she’d wandered into farm meetings in the past. The men looked tired and resigned. The yellow paint on the walls and the fluorescent lights didn’t make anything better. Some of the men got up and clomped down the hall in their cowboy boots. Some of the men stayed sitting, leaning towards each other as they talked. There were a few women in the room, but not many. A woman wearing a green sweatshirt sat in the back, her fingers flying as she knit.

A group of men came to the back of the room where the food was set up and lined up to go past the plates of sandwiches and snacks. Donna watched Gord as he walked toward her.

“Always nice to see my woman in the middle of the day,” he said, touching her on the elbow. She gave him a light kiss on the cheek. Donna patted her husband on the arm, then went to check the coffee pot and chat with the other men as they came to fill their Styrofoam cups with coffee and pile sandwiches and baking onto paper plates.

“I should get the wife to get your recipe,” Phil Hill said to Donna, as he bit into one of her lemon tarts. “I wish she could bake like you.”

“Might not be a good idea,” said Doug Miller, as he walked up to take a cookie. “If my wife could bake like you, I’d be even fatter,” he said to Donna, giving her a wink.

She winked back. The butter tarts were running low. She opened the Tupperware container on the counter and loaded up another plate.

“Has anyone heard from Ray?” Doug Miller said, looking at Phil and Gord. “I haven’t seen him for a while. Normally we catch up at Joe’s. He lets me know if he’s going into town or not.”

“I haven’t heard from him in a while either,” Gord said. “Maybe I’ll drive out there on my way home.”

The man in the burgundy sweater had returned to the front of the room and was looking at the crowd. The young woman standing next to him rang a bell.

“Guess we’re starting up again,” Gord said. He rested his arm on Donna’s shoulder. “See you at home.”

He walked back to his seat and Donna studied his ass. Damn, even at forty six and with a couple of extra pounds, her man still looked fine in his jeans.

Carmen came up beside her, standing so close that Donna could feel the warmth of her body. Carmen’s fleshy body took up space, but in a cozy way that made you want to hug her. Her cheeks had a flush to them, and she wore pink sweatshirts with cats on them, and hung Anne Geddes prints (which Donna hated), in the back room of her café. Donna would have hated the sweatshirts on anyone else, but on Carmen, they seemed to work.

“Hot in here,” Carmen said, fanning her hand in front of her face.

“Mind if I sneak to the washroom and get a bit of air?” Donna said.

Carmen nodded. “I can handle it.”

After using the washroom, Donna pushed open the heavy main doors of the multiplex and walked outside into the warm air. Sitting on the bench outside the main doors, she saw a farmer she recognized. He was having a smoke and chatting with a woman. The farmer turned and saw her, and then moved in closer to the woman. They leaned close together, their heads almost touching. Then the man stood up, took a pamphlet from the woman’s hands, and walked back into the hall, avoiding Donna’s gaze.

The woman turned toward Donna.

“It’s nice out, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Donna said. She was never much for small talk with people she didn’t know.

The woman stood up and shook her hand. “I’m Melody, the counsellor. I’m here if you need to talk. I know a lot of people are having a tough time.”

There was something about this woman that made Donna want to tell her everything, but she kept her mouth shut.

“This whole border closure is hard on people’s stress levels,” Melody said. “I’ve been travelling around with the government as they do their presentations, just letting people know about their options. There are people available if you need to talk.” She shook her head. “You know, I’ve heard that people are calling the government lines, just asking for help and what they can do. They’re not even calling the aid people. They’re calling anyone they can get hold of. You got cattle?”

Donna nodded.

“You doing okay?” the counsellor asked.

She wasn’t sure what to tell the woman.

“I gotta go,” she said. “I need to get back in there.

Melody pushed a pamphlet into her hand. Donna looked down at the paper, saw bright coloured letters advertising therapy, family and marital counselling.

“We have an office in Lloyd,” she said. “We find rural people are more comfortable talking to people outside the town. You know, secrets and town gossip. I grew up in a small town, so I know how it goes.”

The heavy door of the multiplex closed behind them. Donna turned her head, feeling as though she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t. Craig walked by her. “Just getting something from the truck,” he said. “Nice job on the lunch.”

Donna didn’t acknowledge him. “I need to go and check on the coffee,” she said.

Melody caught Donna’s eye and her big brown eyes reminded Donna of Maggie.

“Will you be around for my presentation?”

“I’ll probably be back at the café, cleaning up,” Donna said.

“It was nice to meet you,” Melody said, sticking out her hand. Her peach nail polish made Donna feel self-conscious about her own bitten nails and dry hands.

“You can call any time,” she said. “My door is open. And costs are low. The government has some programs for farmers right now.”

“Thank you,” Donna said. She turned and walked towards the door of the multiplex.

“There’s help if you need it,” Melody called.

Donna shoved the pamphlet into her coat pocket, pretended she hadn’t heard, and let the door of the multiplex close behind her.