Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright Page

Dedication

News Bytes

One  |  First Class Felony

Corpus Interruptus

Two  |  Robbin’ Hoodie Strikes

Three  |  I Can Quit Anytime I Want

Three Months Ago

Four  |  Medical Malpractice

Five  |  Answer My Questions Three

Texas Twang

News Bytes

Six  |  A Series of Seriously Fucked Up Events

Seven  |  The Government is my Shepherd and I Shall Not Want

News Bytes

Eight  |  Jailhouse Rock

Nine  |  You Say Terrorist, I Say Tomato

Ten  |  Where I Get on Agent Ramirez’s Christmas Card List

Eleven  |  Death and Taxes

Twelve  |  Necessity is the Mother of Groveling

Foundered Fathers

Thirteen  |  Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna Do?

Cops and Robbers

Fourteen  |  In Which Things go to Shit Again.

Fifteen  |  When the Lights Go Out in the City

Sixteen  |  Secret Agent Joe

Seventeen  |  Roses are Thorny Bitches

Coituum More Capra

Eighteen  |  Thoroughly Mordant Millie

Nineteen  |  If Zombies Attack, I Just Have to Run Faster Than You

Magnus Imperium Sugit

Twenty  |  Shoot Low Sheriff, They Might be Wounded

Twenty-One  |  Frenzied Ferret Fu

Twenty-Two  |  The Bare Truth

Twenty-Three  |  The Path Not Taken

Tempus Fuckus Fugit

Twenty-Four  |  It Ain’t No Picnic

Twenty-Five  |  The Secret Rebel Base

Twenty-Six  |  Why Me?

Twenty-Seven  |  The Truth... Will Get You Shot At.

Twenty-Eight  |  Retreat? Hell, Yeah!

Twenty-Nine  |  Hello Again... Naturally

Thirty  |  Fight the Government, They Said. It’ll be Fun, They Said

Thirty-One  |  Stand for Something, or Fall for Anything

Thirty-Two  |  I’ll See Your SNAFU and Raise You a Clusterfuck

Thirty-Three  |  Hangman’s Coming Down From the Gallows

Thirty-Four  |  Tanks for the Memories

Thirty-Five  |  I’ve Been Working on the Underground Railroad

Epilogue

About the Author

Also By Scott Bell