SKYE

Thursday 12 June 1997

Finn hadn’t woken her when he came in and she didn’t even know if he was at home, but when Skye peeked around his bedroom door she saw he was flat out on his stomach on the bed, dead to the world. She had taken Dylan to the Westcott Hospital and stayed briefly, but Ebony was sleepy and thought she wasn’t in labour after all, and so she had headed home.

That had been well after midnight, so God knew when Finn had got in.

Skye let Lightning out for a bit of a frolic, fed her, and then made coffee. When she returned Finn was still asleep.

‘Finn?’

Nothing.

She put the mug on the bedside table and sat down on the mattress beside him. His head was turned towards her, comfortable in his folded arms, with his face buried in the pillow. The room was shadowy, with drawn curtains, but it looked bare, just like the rest of the house. Maybe Finn liked it that way, paring his life down to the absolute minimum, but she thought Laurie’s leaving might have had something to do with it. Even though she’d been gone a while, he hadn’t had the time or cared enough to fill his home with all that was missing.

What was it about the nape of his neck? Skye asked herself. So vulnerable and so tempting. She gently brushed aside some strands of dark hair and bent down to press her lips to his warm skin. He made a noise. So she did it again. This time he turned his face and she could see he was smiling, although his eyes still weren’t open.

For an awful moment it occurred to her that he might think she was someone else, that he might call her by another name. Fraser had done that once and the ache in her stomach had stayed there for days.

‘Nice,’ he mumbled. ‘Do I smell coffee?’

‘Yep. What time did you get to bed?’

‘Late, very late. I didn’t want to disturb you.’

So, she thought, he probably knew who she was. But just in case … She ran the tip of her tongue along the corner of his mouth and this time he turned over properly and pulled her down into his arms.

‘Hey, beautiful,’ he murmured, after a long, satisfying moment.

His eyes opened and, no, he didn’t display any surprise at seeing her. All good, then, Skye told herself, and leaned back as he pushed himself up and reached for the coffee.

He watched her over the lip of the cup as he sipped, his dark eyes sleepy, the bruise a rather attractive pale mauve mixed with lemon overtones.

She reached out to touch it with her fingertips. ‘Still sore?’

‘Hardly notice it.’ His smile was back. ‘There are other places that need your attention though. If you’re feeling in a charitable mood.’

‘I’ll bet. I hate to spoil the ambiance, but how did it go last night?’

He pulled a face. ‘The team from Melbourne turned up eventually, and then Doug arrived, so I left him to it. Dylan and Ebony have gone into protective custody and Lois Petersen is under arrest.’

‘They’re gone?’ Skye picked out the one thing that seemed the most important. ‘Already? Did you get to say goodbye, Finn?’

‘I did. I went to tell them the news.’

‘Oh.’

‘Looks like I’ll have to wait a bit to see my nephew, but at least they’re safe.’

He seemed calm about it, and Skye questioned what she felt. Was she sorry not to have spent more time with Dylan and his wife? She was only just beginning to heal some of the old wounds and now …

And then there was the thing that Dylan had said to her, when he had walked her out to the hospital car park, just before she’d left.

Ask Finn about the laundry, Skye. It’s time he told you. And don’t let him put you off, it’s important. And when you ask him, tell him he doesn’t owe me anything. Not anymore.

She watched Finn as he took another swallow of coffee and set the mug down. Was this the moment? And yet the words seemed stuck in her throat, probably because she knew that once she asked the question, she could never go back. This was a secret that, like a tidal surge, was going to have after-effects.

Lightning whining outside the door was an excuse not to take the plunge, and Skye got up to let her in. The greyhound gave Finn several wet kisses that, he said, were almost as good as Skye’s.

He swung his legs out of the bed and onto the floor. He was wearing a pair of pyjama bottoms and nothing else. They hung low on his hips, and she liked the way the line of dark hair ran down his flat belly and under the waistband.

‘What happens now? To you, I mean.’

‘There’ll be an investigation. Gary and Lois and their murky secrets should come to the surface, and maybe a lot of smaller fish will get caught in the net. I’m not sure about the bigger ones, they have a habit of slipping away.’

‘Oh.’

‘Don’t worry,’ he said, watching her face.

‘I’m not. Well I am, but …’

He held out his hand and Skye slotted her fingers into his. ‘I’ve told them I’m having the day off,’ he explained.

‘Oh?’ She pretended to be shocked. ‘What did they say?’

‘Alison said she was pleased to hear it.’

He tugged her down onto his lap and she made herself comfortable in the circle of his arms, while her head rested on his shoulder. She thought about telling him how frightened she’d been when he’d vanished over the edge of the ravine last night, and how relieved when he was safe, but she didn’t want him to think she’d be that sort of woman. Always worrying about what might or might not happen to him during the course of his job.

So she took a breath, thinking it was time to ask about Dylan’s cryptic words. The puzzle she wanted to finally put to rest. ‘Finn, Dylan said something to me last night. Something about …’

He frowned. ‘Dylan says lots of things, Skye.’

‘Well he does, but I just thought …’ She looked at him again and decided that after all now was not the time. ‘Never mind,’ she whispered, and kissed him instead.

‘I was worried you might have decided you’d had enough and headed back to the Big Smoke,’ he told her, when they came up for air.

‘Were you?’ She felt surprise and a guilty twinge of pleasure. ‘Why?’

He shrugged a shoulder. ‘I suppose I was having a bit of a bleak moment.’ He shifted restlessly, trying to explain. ‘Dylan and Gary and the car going over the side. My job. Nothing in particular.’

‘Well I’m still here, so next time you have a bleak moment, remember this,’ she said, and nuzzled into his neck, and then kissed him along the line of his jaw, until he made that purry sound again.

‘Don’t you get lonely?’ she asked, pausing. She gently twisted a strand of his hair around her finger and tucked it behind his ear. ‘You’re a long way from civilisation.’

‘Beyond the black stump.’

‘And after five years, maybe it’s too late for you to assimilate back into society?’

He shook his head and laughed, then flicked a glance at the digital clock. ‘We don’t need to get up yet, do we?’ he asked her innocently.

‘Well, no. I’ve fed the dog and put some more wood in the fire box. Unless you have something important you need to be doing on a mountainside somewhere?’

From the urgency with which he took her in his arms, it seemed that he didn’t.

* * *

After they’d dressed and showered, they set out for a walk down to the creek. By then Skye told herself she had forgotten Dylan’s words and her abortive effort to ask Finn about them, but she hadn’t, not really. Rather, she’d pushed them aside until a better moment presented itself.

The weather had improved. It was one of those clear days with a blue sky, although the air was still frigid and she was glad of her woollen gloves.

To her surprise it was Finn who brought up the subject she was avoiding.

‘What did he say last night?’ he asked her, slowing his stride to match hers. ‘Dylan, I mean. You were going to ask me something and then I diverted you.’ He shot her a sideways look.

‘Was I?’ Skye let her gaze slide over his profile, his straight nose and strong chin. The wear and tear of the years. She was almost tempted to say it didn’t matter and let’s not allow the past to interfere with the present anymore, and yet …

‘You said Dylan wanted you to ask me something.’ He spoke patiently.

She turned to look at him properly and this time she thought she understood. He wanted her to ask him. He wanted to tell her.

‘Okay,’ she said, and took a breath. ‘Dylan wanted me to ask you about the laundry. He said it was time you told me. And he said you didn’t owe him anything, not anymore.’

She noticed his hands were clenched. That wasn’t a good sign. Once again she was having doubts.

‘Look, Finn, you don’t have to talk about it,’ she went on quickly.

He nodded his head to show he’d heard her. They’d reached the creek and he stood staring into the water while she waited. And waited. She was ready to suggest they go back to the house, and even Lightning was giving him odd looks, when he finally heaved a sigh and began to speak.

‘I’ve never told anyone this,’ he admitted, and there was something stirring in his dark eyes that made her panicky. ‘I’ve never wanted to. Especially you. I couldn’t tell you back then. It would’ve been impossible. I knew you thought it was weird, the way me and Dylan were together, and how I was always making excuses for him, but I couldn’t explain. And I was worried, too, that if I did somehow find the courage to tell you that you’d walk away from me. You were the only thing I really cared about, the only good thing in my life, and I couldn’t risk it.’

‘Oh, Finn. Whatever it is—’

‘It was unfair on you, I know that now. Putting that pressure on you. All my focus. Like sunlight through a magnifying glass on a poor bloody butterfly.’

‘Come on,’ she reached out her hand and squeezed his fingers when he responded. ‘Just tell me, okay? I promise I won’t run screaming back to the city.’

Her heart was beating faster, and there was that squirmy feeling in her stomach, as there used to be all those years ago when Dylan did something that seemed likely to blow up into one of their dangerous arguments. She knew that whatever Finn was about to reveal was going to be big. For both of them.

And then he just launched into it.

‘Mum and Dad split up when Dylan and me were little. When we met you it was the second time we’d gone to live with her. We used to bounce around between the two of them a fair bit. The first time …’ He cleared his throat and she knew this was hard for him.

‘You were how old?’ she asked, thinking questions might help.

‘Six. We were six. Dad was always away working and he decided we’d be better off with her. He didn’t know what was going on in her life, or maybe he didn’t want to look very hard because then he’d have to have us back, and give up work and … Well, anyway.’

He looked at her then and something in his eyes warned her that at some point along this journey she might want to ask him to stop.

‘Finn, what happened?’

‘Mum had a guy hanging around the year we went to live with her. That first time. When we were six. A real bastard.’ His mouth had turned grim and the frown was pretty serious. ‘He was a kiddie fiddler.’ And he waited, as if asking her again whether he should go on.

Oh, God. Skye wondered if her face had drained of colour. It certainly felt like it. ‘Didn’t she … didn’t she know?’ she managed, her voice sounding rough.

‘I don’t think so.’ He paused and gave it some thought, and she realised he hadn’t before. ‘She wouldn’t have put us in harm’s way intentionally, no. Well, not that sort of harm. But she was drinking heavily and so out of it most of the time she didn’t even notice what was going on. He was another Darryl, well, kind of. They’d get drunk most nights and the weekends were a write-off. Because of that he was more important to her than we were.’

‘God, Finn, that’s … this is …’ She swallowed, knowing she wasn’t helping.

‘You still want to hear this?’ His expression was bleak.

Skye almost said no, but she knew she couldn’t do that. He had brought himself to the point of telling her something from his past he would probably rather forget, and she must be brave and do him the courtesy of hearing him out.

‘Yes,’ she said with sincerity, ‘I do. Really.’

He nodded again, and she saw his throat move as he swallowed.

‘I haven’t thought about it for a long time, you know. But being with Dylan again, and then him saying I owed him. It all flooded back. Suddenly, it was as if I was looking through a tunnel into the past, seeing myself as a kid, and it was so fresh. Maybe because you were there, when he said it. The three of us together. And I remembered how it used to be between us. There’s been a lot of damage done, Skye, and I want to start mending it. If I can. If you’ll let me.’

‘You were always making excuses for Dylan,’ she replied quietly. ‘I could never understand it. And then, on that night we went down to the bay, when he was behaving like a complete nutcase. You were both so angry. I used to think you hated each other, but I also knew that whatever Dylan did you were always going to forgive him.’

‘Yeah. I thought—I hoped you might visit me, afterwards, but I understood why you didn’t want to.’

‘Finn …’

‘No, it’s all right. Probably better you didn’t. Skye, let me finish this now or I mightn’t be able to.’

His eyes were pleading and all she could do was nod.

‘Right, so, this … guy had tried it on with me a few times, but I always got away. Jinx, that was what he called himself. I don’t think that was his real name. I looked him up on the police database once—broke all the rules to do it—and I couldn’t find him. I sort of hoped he was dead.’

‘Shark attack,’ Skye murmured, and drew a brief smile from him.

But there was no stopping him now.

‘I don’t know why he liked me best,’ he went on. ‘It made Dylan and me laugh. Like it was funny. I suppose we had to find a laugh from somewhere. It didn’t seem real.’

‘Couldn’t you tell Melissa?’

He gave her a look that made her heart ache for him.

‘I get the feeling this story doesn’t end well, Finn,’ she said, in a voice that strove to stay unwavering. She thought she might start to cry, but she was determined not to. This was his story, and love him though she did, she didn’t have the right to swamp him with her pity. He wanted her to listen and that was what she was going to do.

‘The laundry was a little room at the back, a bit of an addition to the place, with a door into the kitchen and another one to the backyard. One night he got me trapped in there, both doors were shut, and Mum was wiped out in the bedroom and couldn’t hear a thing.’

She wanted to close her eyes but she didn’t think that was fair, so she kept them open, her gaze on his face. Perhaps her imagination was just too good because she could visualise the scene despite his sparse description of it, and it was all the more horrific.

‘Dylan was banging on the kitchen door, I could hear him, but I was so bloody scared I couldn’t move. He had my shorts down … and then the door flew open. Maybe Jinx didn’t close it properly or the lock was faulty, but the next moment Dylan was in there and he was climbing on the guy’s back and punching him in the head, and it was bloody chaos.’

‘Dylan came to your rescue,’ Skye murmured, understanding at last.

Finn nodded. ‘There’s more,’ he said. ‘Jinx went berserk and grabbed hold of Dylan and threw him against the wall. He hit the washing machine with his head and just … I thought he was dead. So did Jinx, because he took off out of there and we never saw him again.’

‘But he was all right? Dylan, I mean?’

He ignored her question, keeping on with his story. Perhaps he had to tell it like this, perhaps it was just too awful to stop now that he’d started and he wanted to get it out there between them at last.

‘I woke Mum up, it took a while, and then I got on the phone and rang for the ambulance. They didn’t know what to make of me at first, howling into the mouthpiece. But they came and rushed Dylan to the hospital. He was unconscious for a long time, and then they were worried about a brain injury. Later on they said he was okay, but I don’t think he was ever the kid he was before that. He took more risks, you know? And he got angrier than he used to. So whatever happened when he hit his head, it changed him, and I always knew it was because he’d put himself on the line for me. So do you understand now why I have to do the same, Skye?’

She looked into his eyes. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I do understand.’ She reached out to touch his arm, rubbing the thick jacket he was wearing as if it was alive. He looked shattered. This big, tough man was completely wrung out.

He reached up to cover her hand with his and it was shaking. ‘I could never tell you before. How could I tell the girl I loved that a thing like that had happened to me? When you’re young you’re so uncertain, so vulnerable.’

‘I don’t think it’s only when you’re young,’ she said wryly.

‘Maybe.’ He took a deep breath and sighed it out. ‘I’m glad it’s been said.’ He looked at her, and this time there was a hint of a proper smile. ‘I told you you were a bit of a witch.’

Skye stretched her arms around his chest to give him a hug, cuddling into him.

And for a time they said nothing, just content to hold each other.

‘She never told Dad,’ he said, when finally they began the slow walk back to the house. ‘Mum, I mean. I think she was ashamed. She said she was sorry so many times it became a sort of a joke, and maybe she thought because I was laughing I was over it, or I’d forgotten. I wanted to forget, and I think eventually I did. For the past fifteen years I’ve hardly thought of it at all. Until last night, when Dylan said I owed him, when it all came roaring back into my head.’

Skye shivered. She hadn’t noticed the cold during the telling of his story, but now she leaned into him, enjoying his warmth. ‘What happened afterwards? I mean with your mum?’

‘She sent us back to Dad. She said Dylan was too much for her, which by then he was. By the time we came back down to live with her the second time we were older, and you were there.’

They reached the door into the kitchen and when Finn opened it, Lightning pushed through first.

‘It all makes sense now.’ She sighed. ‘Everything. Thank you for trusting me, Finn.’

He nodded, but she could tell he wanted to put it aside now, let it go, and that was fine with her.

‘I wondered if you wanted to go and see Archie and Nancy Manning,’ Finn said, as they stepped into the warm house. ‘She’s home and she’s willing to meet you, according to Taylor.’

‘Really?’

‘I don’t know how helpful it’ll be but it’s worth a try. You still want to find Neville, don’t you?’

Neville had taken a back seat recently, but he had brought her here to Elysian, and because of him she had found Finn.

She nodded. ‘I’d like to know what happened to him. Draw a line under the story.’

‘And there’s your exhibition.’

There was a question in his face and she no longer had any doubts about giving him the answer he wanted. ‘You’ll have to give me some ideas for a suitable venue.’

‘Here?’

‘Yes. You were right, there’s nowhere else I’d rather it be. Well maybe Mackenzie Crossing, but Elysian will do.’

And it would do very well.