The dining room was set with two places with the plates under old-fashioned flattish silver domes. Cassie lifted one and her stomach grumbled in anticipation as she inhaled the light lemony scent of the delicious salmon salad lightly garnished with capers and black olives.
Shayne appeared at the doorway into the kitchen with a jug of iced water and a couple of frosted glasses. Such a good idea.
‘How was your rest?’
‘Too short.’ She waved away his concern, demonstrated by his quick frown. ‘I need to eat and I can have another rest after lunch. It’s the way I roll now.’
He poured the water and placed them beside the plates. ‘Please, sit down.’
She thought he might be about to come and hold her chair, but he visibly jerked to the stop as she pulled out her own seat and made herself comfortable. A gentleman to the core. Now she knew his family, it was easier to understand the old-fashioned courtesy that had both surprised and disarmed her at their first meeting.
Shayne must have noted her comment about needing to eat because he tucked into his own meal, encouraging her to do the same. ‘Parker seems to think you need the salmon for your pregnancy.’
With a laugh, Cassie poked at the fish. ‘He’s worked out a very specific lunch-time diet, so I have plenty of leafy greens, fatty fish and red meat for iron and a ration of dairy and so on.’
‘I didn’t realise. We seem to get the same things as usual at night.’ Shayne narrowed his eyes. ‘Does it bother you?’
‘Why would it? Parker takes great pride in his work and I’m benefitting. I will miss him, and his food, when I move out.’
‘Do you have to?’
Cassie laid down her cutlery. ‘Do you mean move out, or are you offering to let me steal Parker?’
Her heart pinched at his broad grin. She loved it when he smiled wholeheartedly.
‘You know Parker is a fixture.’
‘Sooo, you’re saying I could be a fixture too?’
‘More than a fixture.’ He placed his knife and fork neatly on his empty plate. ‘I’m thinking family.’
Her breath stalled and she forced herself to suck in air. ‘Family?’ It came out in a squeak.
‘We were talking about names before. I’d like …’
He appeared to be finding breathing difficult. Or getting the words out, anyway. She waited, her stomach roiling.
‘I’d like … I think I’d like to get married.’
‘But you don’t do marriage. I mean, you didn’t marry Kimberley’s mother.’
‘That was a different situation. I’m older now and ready for marriage. It’s not only about the twins. We got along well in Brisbane. Really well.’
‘You mean the sex?’
His frown drew his brows together. ‘No, I mean everything.’
‘You didn’t contact me afterwards. There was no suggestion of further meetings.’
Shayne scrubbed his fingers through his hair. ‘You have no idea how I regretted that. It wasn’t about you. Well, not entirely. I told you I’d dated someone when Kimberley was young. She was a born and bred Sydney person and I discovered almost too late that her ideas for our marriage involved putting in a manager here and living in Sydney or Melbourne. Even Brisbane wasn’t classy enough for her. I judged you by her, and I’m sorry. I should have given you the benefit of the doubt. City people can transition. You seem to have settled well.’
It was a long speech for Shayne. Her own reticence about her past had been as much to blame for his assumptions when they first met. ‘I’m not sure about getting married. It’s something I decided against a long time ago.’
‘Is there a particular reason?’
‘I almost married once. I told you I was engaged. It was a painful part of my life and I suppose I decided I didn’t want to go through that again.’ Not without love on both sides, at least. Shayne had said nothing about love. It was telling that he was willing to marry her. It suggested more feeling than he must have had for Courtney.
The green in his eyes was intense, as if he were trying to see inside her brain. ‘If it was painful I won’t force you to revisit it, though I would be grateful if you shared that part of your life. You know most of our history.’
‘I would like to talk about it sometime. Maybe not now.’ She glanced at the kitchen door, behind which she could hear the faint echoes of country music that told her Parker was working. ‘It’s funny, but for the first time, I feel I could revisit that part of my past.’
‘I appreciate that.’ His hand rested lightly on hers, sending warmth through her veins to her heart. ‘I’m happy to wait until you feel it’s an appropriate time. In the meantime, I hope you’ll think about my proposition. I’m serious. I love having you around and I think, I believe, we will work well as a family.’
Will work well. She liked his confidence, but wasn’t sure she shared it. ‘I will think about it. I can see that it would solve some problems.’ And create some. But that was something she would need to deal with herself. She’d spent too long grieving the past and it was hard to pull herself back into the real world. Shayne was very real and what he offered had the potential to continue the jumpstart he’d given her heart all those months ago.
It meant she would have to come clean about her past. His assumptions of her as an urbanite were based on an impression she’d deliberately given him during their time together. It had made it easier somehow, to pretend to be the city sophisticate when she’d been taking such a risk, spending time with a man she found overwhelmingly attractive. It hadn’t gone away. Cassie was ninety-nine per cent certain if she hadn’t been carrying the twins in an at-risk pregnancy they would have been burning up the sheets again.
It was there in the flare of his eyes as they rested on her. He was remembering how it had been between them. She felt the burn too, but there was nothing she could do about it. ‘What about these names?’
He looked like he might say something else about marriage, but he gave a half smile and pulled out a folded sheet of paper from his breast pocket. ‘I’ve listed family names on the left and other names I like on the right.’
Cassie pushed aside her plate and took the paper to scan it. His writing was spiky but easy to read. ‘I have a grandfather, William. If you like it, we could put it on the list.’ She recognised another name. ‘I like Francis but would probably be inclined to name a daughter Francesca. Not that we are looking at girls’ names.’
‘We could, in the future.’ There was a wicked sparkle in his eyes. It suggested he hadn’t entirely put aside the idea of them making a family. The idea of Shayne with another little girl to bring up was appealing. Kimberley adored her father, so he must have done the right thing by her even without her mother being physically present.
She decided it was better to ignore the provocation. ‘Do you want second names?’
The look he cast her was rueful, but she wasn’t taking the bait even if she had to bite her tongue.
After a moment, he looked down at the paper. ‘It’s usual, isn’t it? Do you have a second name?’
‘Lynette, after my mother. Also not useful for a boy.’
‘I’m Shayne Francis. Ben is Benjamin John. Nothing much there.’
‘I like Jonathan.’
Shayne pulled a stubby pencil out of his pocket. It looked like a carpenter’s pencil, sharpened with a pocketknife. ‘That’s two we agree on.’ He circled them both and she saw Algernon on the list.
‘We could have Algernon for a second name, if you wanted.’
He grimaced. ‘I don’t think so. I like old-fashioned names, but not if they sound like pond scum.’
It was said with so much feeling, she had to laugh. ‘Maybe we can think about it. It’s not like it’s that urgent.’
His gaze rested on her stomach, softening in a way that made her chest ache.
‘I still like to be prepared, Cassie. The doctor seemed to be doubtful about how long it might be.’
‘I promise to revisit names during the week.’
‘We could talk over a meal.’ He broke off and slammed his palm against his forehead. ‘Damn. I forgot about the rodeo next weekend.’
‘Is it a problem?’
‘I’ve promised to take Kim through her paces every evening and there are a few visiting competitors who contracted to use the arena for training during the day. I’m not going to have time to scratch myself until it’s over.’
The feeling in her chest slithered down to her belly. She’d been hoping to get her courage up to tell him about her past in the next few days. Even if there was time for them to talk, she didn’t know how he might react. Better to wait until after the rodeo.
‘There should be time after that. I don’t think Doctor Cavanaugh is expecting me to go into labour this week.’ The decision to postpone her revelations sat uneasily, but she didn’t think there was another choice. His focus had to be on Kimberley and his business dealings with the competitors.
He narrowed his eyes as if he sensed some of her indecision. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Fine for a pregnant woman at this stage of the proceedings. Ready for another rest.’ It wasn’t a total lie. She hadn’t been sleeping well for months.
The expression changed from suspicion to concern. ‘Better go put your feet up. You need to be fit enough to go to the rodeo next weekend. Kimberley is counting on you coming to watch.’
A warmth enveloped her at the acceptance of the girl, Shayne’s daughter. ‘I wouldn’t miss it for the world. She knows I might not be able to stay for the whole thing?’
‘It’s all about her. I don’t think she cares about you seeing the rest of the competitors.’ He grinned, and she matched it.
‘I’ll certainly do my best.’
His eyes were warm. ‘I’m grateful. For a lot of things. You fit. I never expected it, but I welcome it.’
There was nothing she could think of to say in response and he didn’t press her. He gathered the dishes together. ‘I’ll fix these up. You go rest.’
It had seemed logical to have Tess visit while Shayne was absorbed with his pre-rodeo business. Now she wasn’t so sure.
‘Why on earth wouldn’t you marry him? He sounds adorable. Unless it’s the daughter causing probs.’
Cassie shook her head. ‘Kimberley isn’t a problem. Not at the moment. I don’t know how she’d feel if I did marry her father.’
‘Which you have declared you have no intention of doing. I thought you fancied him something awful when you first met him last year. Has he blotted his copybook?’
‘What century are you living in, Tess? Copybook?’
‘My mother was always telling me I was blotting it. Something to do with fountain pens and books you used to practice writing at the dawn of time. I googled it.’
Of course, the distraction didn’t stick. ‘Give me one good reason you wouldn’t want all this?’
It was a hard question to answer, given they were sitting at the dining table with a fabulous chicken salad put together by Parker. ‘You know I’m not worried about that stuff.’
‘No. This is about Brian, isn’t it? You’re scared as hell and running for cover.’
‘I don’t want to take that risk. I’ve lost everyone I ever cared about. I will not put myself in that situation again.’
‘But you are in that situation already, aren’t you? You care about him and his daughter. You have the twins. There are people in your life already that you can’t run from.’
A fresh voice entered the conversation. ‘It doesn’t work. Marriage doesn’t make losing people worse.’
Parker stood inside the door that led into the kitchen with a jug of juice and a couple of glasses. His mouth twitched. ‘I’m sorry. I couldn’t help overhearing.’
Tess shifted her wheelchair slightly to face him. ‘You’re a man of experience. I’d be interested in hearing your opinion.’
He came forward, placing the drinks on the table. ‘I thought I could run when I met Jim. I put obstacles in the way and eventually they worked. He left, came back here and didn’t contact me. It was two years before I forced myself to contact him.’
‘What obstacles?’ Tess was really into this, leaning forward, her eyes fixed on the man.
‘I said I couldn’t leave my job. I wanted him to move to the coast. He could have got a job at the resort handling the horses for the trail rides on the beach and through the national park. He told me flat out that this was his place, his land. This was where he belonged. I didn’t understand at first, that connection to land.’
‘Jim’s people were from Maidens Hill?’
‘Long before the first Maiden settled here. They saved his life and there’s always been respect between the locals and the family.’
‘That doesn’t sound very fair.’
‘You should talk to Jim. His family history is linked to the Maidens and the Smiths.’
Cassie promised herself she’d do that. Her relationship with Jim was very casual because he was mostly working outside and when he came in, it was usually to spend time with Parker in their private apartments. He’d come a few times to listen to her play the piano and she knew he played the guitar. That was about the extent of it.
She wondered what had changed for Parker. ‘What changed your mind?’
‘I decided I’d rather risk being miserable with Jim in a strange place than be miserable without him.’
After he’d gone back to the kitchen, Tess tilted her head at Cassie. ‘That’s telling you. Do you think you’ll be miserable living back in the country? I know you said you’d never go back, but you were practically a kid when you made all these choices. Brian’s been gone for eight years. He wouldn’t want you to be alone. And don’t say you’ll have the children. It’s not the same and you know it. Besides, their father is going to be in your life, whatever you decide about marriage. Might as well make it official. Then he can do night duty and warm your bed in between. Win, win.’
The trouble was, Tess was selling it. If it wasn’t for that cold lump in her gut, she’d be dancing to Shayne’s tune and signing up for a wedding. Maybe not until after the twins were born. Vanity could only be suffocated to a certain extent. If there were any wedding snaps, Cassie didn’t want to look like a blimp, although Rasmus had promised her a wedding dress for whatever shape she was in. Not that she’d expected to take him up on the offer. Still wasn’t if her gut would put her heart in its place.
Even Parker had been encouraging, in his own way. Be with Shayne or be condemned to watch his life from the sidelines. He was ripe for marriage and settling down. Anyone could turn up and take advantage of him in this mellow, receptive mood he was generating.
‘I’ll think about it.’ She frowned at Tess’s broad grin. ‘I said think about it. I still think it’s not something I want to do.’ If she could be sure of what Shayne felt for her, apart from gratitude for giving him a couple of sons and a fond recollection of great sex, she might be more positive about it. As it was, caution was keeping her on the fence.
* * *
The sound of voices lured Shayne to the dining room. He arrived in time to hear Cassie telling her friend she’d think about it. He’d missed exactly what. He wished he’d arrived a little sooner because he had the feeling it was significant. Especially when they both looked up with what could only be described as matching guilty expressions. Which suggested they were most likely talking about him.
‘You must be Tess. Cassie told me you would come over.’ He shook her hand, taking in the rainbow hair matching the vibrant colours of the tie-dyed shift dress she wore and the bright yellow sandals with a large white daisy on the top. Even the wheelchair had colourful hubcaps covering the spokes. The epitome of the bohemian artist. ‘Do you mind if I join you? Parker said he would bring me some lunch.’
Tess shot a glance at Cassie. ‘By all means. I was hoping to meet you, but Cassie said you had a busy week happening.’
‘I still need to eat. Even better with company.’
The conversation was relaxed once Parker delivered a plate of sandwiches and a mug of coffee to the table. Tess asked what he was doing with the rodeo and he caught up with what her parents were doing. His mother would be interested as they’d been involved in the historical society before moving away.
Cassie remained quiet, not really contributing much, but at least she was eating. She looked way healthier than when she’d arrived all those weeks ago. He doubted she was sleeping well at this point in the pregnancy, but the shadows around her eyes were hardly noticeable.
He dragged his attention back to Tess who was looking at him expectantly.
‘How do you see this working? Cassie said she’s looking for a place in town.’
‘To be honest, I’d like her to stay here with the twins, whatever happens between us. I want to be a full-time father.’ He was conscious of Cassie’s alert posture, her fork held halfway to her mouth. She wouldn’t expect him to be so honest with a stranger, but Tess was her family. He needed to have her on side. Besides, he liked her.
‘I told you I wouldn’t be ridiculous about access.’
Tess shook her head. ‘He’s right, you know. It will be better for the kids to live with both parents. It will be tricky when they’re young because if you’re feeding them, they won’t be able to come and stay for more than an hour or two at a time.’
He saw Cassie’s fingers tighten around the fork. ‘I know all this. It’s more complicated than simply living here. Especially if I am only a visitor.’
‘It worked with Kimberley’s mother.’
Tess tilted her head to one side. ‘You’ve done this before?’
‘Cassie didn’t tell you?’
She sniffed. ‘Why would she? It’s not my business.’
‘Courtney had her own rooms.’
‘There you go. He won’t even ask you to sleep with him if you don’t want to.’
Colour swept up Cassie’s face, matching the heat in his own.
‘Oh,’ said Tess with a smirk. ‘I see.’
He was almost relieved to pick up his empty plate and mug and exit the room. Almost. He could see Tess being a brilliant advocate for his hopes. He could also see Cassie’s embarrassment at her bluntness in front of him. Better to leave them alone to talk about it.
He could hear his mother in the hall and he had a suspicion she was going to be interfering. In the nicest possible way.
She was standing at the foot of the stairs with a notebook and pen.
‘There you are. Parker said you were busy.’
‘I was finishing up my lunch.’
‘Good. You can come with me to the master suite. I have some ideas about converting the sitting room into a nursery.’
He felt a prickle up his spine as Cassie’s voice came from behind him.
‘What nursery?’
His mother beamed. ‘Excellent. I’d like your input too, Cassie. You’ll be spending time in the room, so it would be good to have some ideas. Shayne rarely worries much about decoration.’
‘Why would I be involved in a nursery upstairs here? I’ll be setting up my place in town.’
If Cassie thought she could put his mother offside, she was going to learn fast.
‘The babies will be spending time here, so they’ll need a room.’
Cassie fixed him with a fierce stare. ‘Wouldn’t they be downstairs in the annex?’
‘That wouldn’t be convenient in the long term. Especially if you aren’t planning on being around when I have custody.’
He didn’t really want to have this conversation with an audience, but his mother was already distracted.
‘Tess? Hello. What are you doing here?’
Tess brought her chair alongside his mother. ‘I’m visiting Cassie. You probably don’t know, but we’re cousins.’
‘My goodness. Is that so? I didn’t realise Cassie had family locally.’ She made it sound like the best news ever.
He nodded to his mother. ‘I’ll go ahead with Cassie and show her the room while you talk with Tess. You can follow us in a few minutes.’
There was a moment when Dawn might have argued. Her mouth parted with an objection, but she looked at Tess and seemed to relax. ‘Good idea. Tess can give me news about her parents. I haven’t seen them since they arrived back from England.’