Cassie followed Shayne up the stairs, half annoyed, half admiring his technique at slowing his mother down so they could talk by themselves.
He led the way to a large double door with ornate carving and gleaming knobs, the patina from decades of use rather than fancy polishing,
‘This is the master suite.’
He’d pointed it out on the tour when she first arrived but hadn’t taken her in, giving her a quick look from the door.
The room itself was enormous, easily accommodating the enormous fourposter bed and an upholstered daybed by the window and a couple of matching armchairs. It smelled a little musty from disuse, but that was easily fixed. A door was open to the left, giving a glimpse into a bathroom and another door beside would be a walk-in robe. The opposite wall had a double door opening into another room.
Shayne didn’t linger, leading her to the double door. ‘Mum is thinking of converting the sitting room with the kitchenette into the nursery.’
‘That sounds like a nice thing to do, but why here?’
‘She’s assuming that I will move into the main bedroom so the twins would be next door.’
‘Does she expect me to move in too?’
‘This would happen whatever we choose to do between ourselves. I want to clarify that this isn’t about putting pressure on you. Stay or go, it’s up to you. I’ve been clear about what I want. Either way, it’s a good idea. There isn’t really a suitable room next to mine. Mine has an ensuite, but nothing suitable on either side.’
The room was a lovely sunny room with large windows opening onto a narrow, covered balcony that stretched the length of the house, facing towards the forested hill with its large granite rocks at the back of the property and overlooking the pool area. She’d noticed it from the annex, filling the space between the wings at each end of the main building. The working part of the farm was out of sight, cut off by the jutting out structure, giving more privacy to the central section.
It was furnished like a lounge and dining room with a small kitchenette. It would make a lovely nursery. The whole setup was a temptation. She sucked in a long breath to ease the tension in her chest. Shayne wanted her to share this with him and while the rooms were lovely, it was Shayne who posed the biggest threat to her equilibrium.
‘What do you think Dawn is planning to do with it?’
‘You should talk to her. We usually try to keep the antique look to fit with the historical nature of the building, but if you want something modern, you can give her feedback.’
‘So long as it’s safe, I don’t mind. I love the period look but antique cots aren’t always to code.’
He ran a finger over the polished table, leaving a mark in the dust. ‘We could find something reproduction that fitted.’
She moved away to the window, pressing her palm to her chest. Her heart was galloping. Shayne would notice if she was anything but her normal sedate self. Not that it was easy to keep up that facade. Shayne and his family were breaking down the shields that had kept her safe for so long.
He joined her at the window. ‘I know this is tough for you, Cassie. I don’t know what I can say to reassure you that things will be okay if you take a risk on us. We both know there are no certainties in life, but that’s no reason to give up on life and love.’
The love word. He’d said it and a quick glance at his face revealed tenderness. It was such a risk, caring for people. At least if something happened to her, the children would have a family. Tess would be there for them, but Shayne and his family were a wonderful safety net. She liked them. Sometimes she wondered a little about them, but they were good people, a little scarred by the past, but it was hardly something she could quibble about, considering her own hangups.
‘I want to try, Shayne.’ She turned to face him. ‘I think you’re right. We could make something good out of the situation. Make a family of our own. Your family seems to be accepting of the situation.’
‘My parents have been wanting me to settle down for years. You’re a dream come true for Mum. With bonus grandchildren.’
‘It makes it easier. There are no real barriers from outside. I want to make it work, but it’s not only about family and the babies. It’s about us. I don’t want to depend on anyone.’ Especially not for her happiness, knowing how easily it could be taken away. It would be far too easy to let her feelings for Shayne bloom into something full-blooded. Feelings that were already too invested.
‘You’ll always have your independence. I don’t want to impinge on that. I respect a woman who doesn’t cling. Although that depends on the circumstances. I can think of certain times when clinging is desirable.’
The wicked glint in his eyes was reassuring.
‘It’s not all about the sex, Shayne Smith.’
‘I’m looking forward to an opportunity to prove that it’s a substantial part of what we have. Compatibility is important. We have it in spades, both in and out of bed.’
Heat washed up her throat. ‘I should get back to Tess. She needs to leave and I can’t imagine she’s still talking to your mother after all this time.’
Shayne didn’t argue. Which was fine. She didn’t need to rehash their relationship, whatever it was, all over again. This craving for spending time with him was something she could handle.
He took her arm to steady her down the stairs, for which she was grateful. Going up wasn’t a problem, but going down, her off centre balance felt a little iffy. His warm grip was firm and secure, the heat tingling over her skin and sparking inside. Inconvenient, but reassuring.
Dawn and Tess were nowhere to be seen, but Shayne led the way to the formal dining room where the two women were discussing a painting on the wall over the sideboard. Tess was quite absorbed, leaving Dawn to notice their arrival.
‘What do you think, Cassie? Will it work as a nursery?’
‘It’s a beautiful room. I’m sure it will work well.’
‘It has plumbing already, so it will be simple to add a bathing corner to the room so everything will be handy.’
Tess watched with narrowed eyes that had a knowing gleam in them. She was seeing the whole family unity thing as a foregone conclusion. Maybe she was right. Everything fitted so well, including Shayne. Though he didn’t know the whole. Soon she would tell him when they had time for themselves. She couldn’t make a final decision until she was sure. Until she’d dealt with the past.
A thump under her ribs from one of the babies was like a nudge. It was their future in the balance. Letting her fears impact on them was becoming less justifiable by the day. In those early months, she’d postponed thoughts of the future, because there was some doubt if there would be one. Now the doctors were giving off positive vibes, suggesting the birth was going to be a breeze. Short of a disaster, she would be a parent soon. And so would Shayne. A family of a sort, if she could gather her courage.
She shook her head, realising that Tess was saying goodbye. ‘Next time I see you, I expect you’ll have given birth. I’ll be a second cousin or whatever the term is.’
Cassie followed her out via the annex, avoiding the steps, and waved her away in her little car.
Back in the house, she was conscious of Dawn leading Shayne back up the stairs. The woman was a genius with her decorating and there was no doubt she’d do a wonderful job with the nursery. A sudden tightness in Cassie’s throat stifled her breathing. She wanted to be a part of this. Wanted to spend time with Dawn planning out the space for her children. Wanted to be a part of this family. Wanted to be with Shayne. A partner, a wife. She wanted more than a friendly co-parenting arrangement.
She wanted everything, and that was where the danger lay. A whole family to care for. Children, a man in her life. Joining Dawn and Shayne upstairs wasn’t a commitment. She could do that without laying her heart on the line. Their voices carried over the balcony. It would only take a minute to join them. Talk about her children’s future or about their living space. It was a start.
Cassie headed for the stairs, taking them steadily. Shayne appeared at the top, as if he’d heard her coming.
‘Twice in one day. You’ll have done your full exercise regime for the week.’
He took her hand as she arrived at the top. ‘I thought I should come. Save Dawn having to do everything twice.’
‘Excellent idea.’
He dropped a light kiss on her cheek. ‘Thank you.’
* * *
Shayne tossed his Akubra onto the hook inside the back door and cursed when it missed and landed on the floor among the discarded boots and wellies. Scooping it up, he hung it carefully. It was a good hat.
He’d been right about how busy he’d be in the run up to the rodeo. Kimberley was all nerves, even though she’d competed before. It was good to catch up with some guys he’d met in previous years. One of them, a former local, had declared his intention of retiring later in the year and Shayne had wrested a tentative commitment from him to come to work at Maidens Hill in one of the new management positions being created.
Things were falling into place for when he had the added responsibility of parenting infants. He mounted the stairs and headed for his bedroom for a quick shower. Kimberley and Samson had gone with him to the rodeo arena attached to the Showgrounds earlier in the day. He’d watched a few events and then headed home for Cassie, who’d promised to spend the afternoon resting. Ben was there if Kim needed a hand with the horse, but she’d been surrounded by her rodeo mad friends when he’d left. His promise to come straight back after picking up Cassie to check on things had been waved away by Kim.
When he came down the stairs again, Cassie was perched on the old, padded bench just inside the door. Her smile lit up the room and he held himself back from taking her in his arms and kissing her senseless. Not appropriate. And highly risky considering his desire to take her to bed and forget everything else.
She was wearing a pair of leggings with a denim print that showed off her long, elegant legs and a full, thigh length button-up shirt in an orange and pink check, the long sleeves folded back to her elbow. Low-heeled boots finished the ensemble, along with a broad-brimmed straw cowboy style hat with a bright pink hatband that matched the shirt.
‘Do you have a handbag?’
She patted her hip. ‘I have a phone and some cash in a wallet, which should cover anything I need.’
With no delay, they climbed into his four-wheel-drive. It was a tantalising pleasure to help her into the high seat, his hand deliberately not lingering on her butt as he gave her a last little boost. ‘Sorry about this. I’ll need it to tow the horse-float home.’
‘Not a problem.’
In fact, she seemed to enjoy the higher vantage point, taking in the extended views unsullied by fences and gates as they drove into town. He was beginning to believe she really did love his part of the country.
By the time they parked in the back paddocks, there was already a haze over everything. The committee had been hoping for some light rain to settle the dust during the week, but the clouds hovered on the western horizon.
The camp drafting events always stirred up the soft dirt of the arena. The horses and cattle with their skirmishing chopped up the ground even more. Those events would be almost finished and then the late afternoon and evening would be all about the barrel racing and the bull riders and broncs. The crowd-pleasers. The volunteers would smooth out the surface, ready for the later events. Larger places often held separate events, but this worked for such a small town.
She waited for him to help her down and smiled a little tremulously as he let her body slide against his on the way to her feet touching the ground. Damn, he missed the physicality of their time together in Brisbane, but even more disturbing, he missed the other times when they’d been eating together or taking long walks along the river. He should have called. He would have had so many more weeks to persuade her to his point of view.
There was a strange expression on her face as she looked around the crowded concourse leading from the parking area to the arena. It seemed out of character, but her body language was screaming run. She even took a step back, halting when it brought her up against his body.
He turned her around with his hands on her shoulders. ‘Is everything all right? The babies?’
‘I left my hat.’ It was on the back seat and he grabbed it for her. Her demeanour was still unsettling.
The commentator was rabbiting on over the speakers, the old system crackling now and then. He’d donated to the fundraiser to replace them, so this might be the last time that distinctive sound would stab the air over the rodeo grounds.
The dusty narrow road up to the ring stretched over a hundred metres and he wondered if he should have dropped her off before finding a park. Cassie didn’t seem daunted by that, exactly. It was something else giving her that taut jaw and crease between her brows. Then she pulled the hat down over her forehead, casting her face into shadow.
‘I’m ready.’
She didn’t sound ready, but he tucked her arm into his after a querying eyebrow raise and they started up the track. It was slow going, even without taking it easy for the sake of Cassie’s stamina. Competitors he knew, coming and going from the arena area down to where their trailers and caravans were setup, would stop to exchange a few words, curious eyes taking in Cassie’s belly, demanding an introduction.
Shayne kept it non-committal, introducing Cassie but not expanding. Hell, he didn’t even know what their relationship was and he sure wasn’t going to tell everyone he’d got another woman pregnant accidentally. Even seventeen years apart, he’d get stirred for making a habit of it. The long-time camp drafting and rodeo crew had all known Courtney, so he’d had no hope of keeping Kimberley’s history a secret.
Cassie seemed to relax after a few of these encounters and they were almost at the arena when he saw Nate approaching. His cousin’s startled glance rested on Cassie and Shayne resigned himself to having to explain her presence in more detail.
Nate’s smile broadened, but it was Cassie he focused it on. ‘Cassie! Acacia Longifolia.’
Beside him, Cassie stiffened. ‘Nathan Taylor? What are you doing here?’
They knew each other?
Nate winked at Shayne. ‘How did you manage to snag my best girl?’
‘You and Cassie are …’ he hesitated, reluctant to put his suspicions into words.
‘Friends. Nathan and I are old friends.’ Cassie’s words came out breathless. It reminded Shayne of those anxious moments at the car when she’d seemed to almost pull back from attending the rodeo.
Nate wrapped his long arms around her, stooping a little. Shayne had never envied his cousin’s film star looks, but an acidic resentment at the familiarity rose in his stomach, forcing him to swallow it down. He’d tried damn hard to be open with her and she was keeping secrets. He forced the pain down, past the tightness in his throat.
‘You never mentioned it.’ Shayne almost bit back the accusing words. Had she seen his reaction? He hoped not. He’d rather not reveal how much she mattered to him when it was clear she was still keeping herself aloof.
Cassie looked at him, her brows raised over wide eyes. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t know there was a connection.’
She couldn’t have guessed. The Taylors were connections through his mother’s side of the family. Nathan’s mother was Dawn’s baby sister who’d married a grazier from out west. Nate had bought his own place about ten years ago, neighbouring his parents’ property.
‘So, what is the connection between you two?’ He stared at Cassie, whose face had flushed at Nate’s enthusiastic greeting, but now had a grey undertone. ‘Should we go sit somewhere?’
Even as he spoke, he drew her to some seating made from a long timber beam resting on a couple of round stumps beside the unused old bar structure.
She didn’t protest, sinking onto the bench with a faint sigh. It was fortunate that the area was unused, the new bar and eating facility over by the animal pavilions, where the Showground met the rodeo arena, drawing all the crowds after food and drink.
Nate sat down on the other side, his face concerned. ‘Should you be here, Cass? You look like you might pop at any moment.’
‘I’m just here for the junior barrel racing. I promised Kimberley.’
Nate nodded. ‘Fair enough. I must go collect someone, but we should catch up. Seems like there’s been plenty happening.’
Shayne looked at them, so totally at ease. ‘How do you know each other?’
‘Cassie and I were neighbours growing up. Longbourne was her family property.’
Longbourne. The extensive property Nate had bought with an inheritance from his grandmother Taite as the down payment. Shayne fixed his gaze on Cassie. ‘You grew up out west? Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘It didn’t seem important. I’ve been living in Brisbane except for school holidays from the time I went to boarding school at twelve.’
Nate chimed in. ‘We used to travel together as far as Toowoomba. Cassie went to boarding school in Brisbane.’
That made sense. Only he didn’t understand why she hadn’t mentioned she’d grown up on a grazing property. Although there was her aversion to sheep. There was more to the story, but now wasn’t the time.
‘Didn’t you say you had to go, Nate?’
Nate jumped. ‘Yes. Another time, Cass. Seriously.’ He slapped another kiss on Cassie’s cheek as he stood, and with a raised eyebrow, waved at them as he loped off with a glance at his watch.
There was a silence between the two of them after he left. The noise from the ring faded into the background as the questions churned around in his head. ‘Acacia Longifolia?’
She grimaced, a tightening of her mouth before it relaxed into a half smile. ‘School boy stuff. Once he and his brother figured out my name was Acacia Long, it was bound to happen.’
‘I remember now. You told my mother your name is Acacia.’
‘Most people assume Cassie is short for Cassandra. After the teasing I got from Nate and his friends, I prefer to keep it that way.’
‘I like Acacia. It’s pretty.’
‘The tree is pretty. I’m …’ She hesitated.
‘You are beautiful.’
She shot him a raised brow stare. ‘I am a blimp.’
‘Still beautiful.’
Her nose wrinkled. ‘A beautiful blimp. It doesn’t exactly seem likely.’
He pointed to a Dagwood Dog van with a giant lollypop on the sign. ‘More like one of those, you think?’
Cassie tossed her head. ‘It’s no use arguing with you.’
‘Not at this point. We need to move if we’re going to see Kimberley.’
She looked stricken. ‘I forgot. I’m so sorry.’
He helped her to her feet. ‘We have a few minutes. From what I can hear over the loudspeakers, they are running a little behind time.’
Her hand rested on his arm. ‘There’s something else I should tell you. I meant to tell you all this during the week, but there never seemed to be an opportunity. Then I hoped I wouldn’t need to. It was so long ago. But Nate turning up proves I’m kidding myself.’
It was a long speech and left her slightly breathless. ‘You don’t have to tell me now. We can talk at home.’
‘This matters now. My fiancé was a bull rider. It was years ago, but there could be people who remember him. People who might recognise me.’
Shayne’s chest tightened and he forced a breath. ‘Will that be a problem for you?’
‘No. Not really. But I should have told you before we came, so you weren’t surprised like you were with Nathan.’
‘I didn’t expect it. He’s family. That’s a close connection. It’s a wonder we never met. I’ve visited Nate and his family quite a few times over the years. He’s younger, but his brother Tam is my age.’
‘It’s not like we were over the fence. It’s a fair drive between the properties, though I suppose Nathan could have put in a more direct road between the homesteads. Besides, we didn’t do a lot of socialising as children. The boys were older than we were and had different interests.’
The ‘we’ was a tempting clue to follow, but they were at the entrance to the ring and he showed his pass for them to enter, finding a way through the crowd to where Ben was waiting, holding a couple of seats. Further revelations would have to wait, because the announcer was whipping up the crowd for the barrel racing.
Cassie watched intently and he watched her watching, keeping half his attention on the scores. With the added knowledge of this afternoon’s revelations, it put into context her statement, ‘I don’t ride,’ because she would have learned to ride as a child if she’d grown up out west. He’d thought it odd. He’d expected her to say she couldn’t ride. Most city people didn’t get an opportunity to learn. It was an expensive hobby, even for those on the land. He dragged his attention away when Kim’s number was announced, and he focused on the arena.
She did well. Maybe not the best time, but damn close.
Cassie turned to him with sparkling eyes. ‘Do you think she placed?’
‘It will depend on the last two competitors. They could dislodge her from the board.’
He could sense Cassie holding her breath as they announced the final times. Second. Kimberley had come second. His daughter might be disappointed. He wasn’t sure from her expression, but he wasn’t. The field was exceptional, with a couple of national champions. Not all the top range competitors came to such a minor event, but it was enough to keep the locals on their metal.
‘Did you see? Did you see?’
Kimberley bounced as she joined them in the stands after giving her horse a rubdown and settling him near the horse float with food and water. ‘I beat Hayley Pierce. She’s amazing. I am soooo stoked.’
She tucked herself into the bench seat between him and Cassie to watch the senior riders.
‘What did you think, Cassie?’
‘Your run was flawless. You should be pleased. It was fantastic.’
Kim pursed her lips. ‘I checked a bit going round the second barrel. That probably lost me a fraction of a second.’
‘But you might have clipped the barrel and lost points if you hadn’t.’ Cassie said it with all the seriousness of an expert, and he wondered if perhaps she knew more than they assumed. If she’d been attending events with her fiancé years ago, she wasn’t a stranger to the rodeo arena.
Kimberley didn’t seem to notice. She was still on a high.
In the end, he swapped keys with Ben so his brother could bring Kimberley and Samson home. Kim was determined to stay, and it was clear Cassie had no desire to watch the bronc and bull riding events. After seeming happy to watch the entire barrel riding program, she’d become restless, shifting on her seat. She stared down at the program clutched in her hands, her knuckles gleaming pale against the crumpled paper. She was oblivious to his arrangements with Ben and Kimberley. How much was because of the heat and how much due to some internal memories he wouldn’t hazard a guess. Going home would solve at least one of those possibilities.
Normally, he might have stayed. It was a big social event for the town. But Cassie was his priority. Kimberley would be fine, hanging with her friends with Ben as backup.
They waited for a gap in the program while the volunteers reset the arena for the evening’s entertainment.
‘Ready to go?’
She nodded, the tautness about her jaw seeming to ease as she let him pull her to her feet. ‘You’re sure you don’t mind missing some events while you’re gone?’
Her assumption that he would drop her home and then come back in would receive a jolt. He intended to spend the evening with her if she didn’t object. Hopefully she wouldn’t be too tired to talk because he wanted the opportunity for more clarity on her past.
It would be nice to have the place to themselves for a change, with no interruptions. Almost everyone was at the rodeo apart from a couple of his team, who preferred a bonus for staying home and keeping an eye on the place. They wouldn’t come near the house unless there was a problem with the stock they couldn’t handle, which was unlikely. Even Jim and Parker were at the event. Jim was keen to watch the bronc riding, even though he hadn’t competed in decades.