Introduction: Mr. Goober’s Show

 

 

I WROTE THIS ON A BLAZING HOT January day when the temperature was in the high thirties.

I’m talking 1997. I’m talking Perth, Australia. And I’m talking centigrade, not that wussy Fahrenheit stuff.

It was 6:00 A.M. and already hot. I’m down there as Guest of honor at Swancon. I have to read a story at 4:00 P.M. And it’s Australia Day.

Never fear. I’d wanted to write this one a long time. I sat down and started writing it. I had to leave the room at 1:00 P.M. to be on a panel. (During the middle of that panel, the entire rest of the convention came into the room and sang “Waltzing Matilda” to me—the words to which I took out of my billfold where they’d been—every billfold I’d ever owned—since I’d cut them out of a 1959 Life magazine article about On the Beach.) Words failed me. They still do.

Then back to the room, scribble scribble scribble, hey, Mr. Waldrop? Then I read the story at 4:00 P.M. (prefaced by an explication of Joe Dante’s movie Matinee, which I think went straight to video in Australia—nothing to do with the story; I just thought they should all go out and buy a copy of the flick).

This is the story that killed Omni Online. Ellen bought it; it went up March 26, 1998. They pulled the plug on Omni Online March 30, 1998. Gordon Van Gelder, in his new role as editor of F&SF, asked if he could publish it there, and pay me more money. Sure.

The deeper you look into the history of early television, the more wonderful it is. I tell you some of the weird stuff here; the PBS Race for Television and the episode of Television that dealt with the early stuff tell you more.

I want to thank again (besides in the acknowledgements) Andrew P. Hooper for his help in getting to me a piece of research I’d read but could no longer find. He walked his ass over to the Fremont branch of the Seattle Public Library one 38° (Fahrenheit this time) pissing-rain day, looked it up, and mailed it to me while I was in the middle of rewriting this. It got to me next day out here in Oso; I stuck it in where I needed it, and sent it off to kill Omni Online. Thanks, Andy.

He also said he thought this would have made a great episode of the first season of the original Twilight Zone or One Step Beyond. I’d never thought about it that way but he’s probably right. Too bad I couldn’t have written this when I was thirteen years old: maybe me and Serling or John Newland could have made a deal . . . “Missed it by that much, chief.” (Only thirty-eight years, Andy. Sorry.)