Chapter 18

Murphy spread out at the kitchen table with spreadsheets, order forms, and his laptop. Getting behind on billing was unacceptable, and he was very behind. The printer hummed from the floor next to him as it spit out invoices. Irritated at the monthly process, he began stuffing papers into envelopes and scribbling addresses on them. By the time the door opened and Beckett came in, her heels already off and in her hand and her hair falling out of its braid, Murphy was ready to yank his own hair out in frustration.

“I brought home Chinese food.” Beckett hung her coat by the door and brought the bag to the kitchen, placing it on the counter while she got out disposable plates. “I just spent nine hours with the FBI. They went through every day of my marriage, it seems. I don’t think I’ve ever been so drained in my life.”

Murphy leaned back in the dining room chair and studied her. “I get my go-through with them tomorrow. Did they tell you anything useful?”

Beckett frowned and poured a glass of wine. “They didn’t want to say a lot, but I’m pretty good at reading between the lines. I figure most of what Robbins said is true. They did tell me they’re looking for the rest of his identities, which means they think he has more than they know about. I got the feeling they’re watching Alana, which makes me think she’s known about him the entire time.” Taking a sip of wine, she continued, “They did say there’s been some movement with the Malatoa cartel and they think someone might be investigating me on their end to figure out whether I have the money Ryan stole or not. I’m instructed to be careful and to notify them if I see anything at all suspicious.”

Deciding paying his bills could wait, Murphy began opening cartons and filling their plates. “How long have they known Ryan was alive?”

“They say they didn’t, that they thought he was dead. Nothing even blipped on their radar until Robbins showed up here.” She bit into a chunk of pork with gusto, chewing and swallowing before speaking again. “If I ever see him, I’ll strangle him with my own bare hands.”

“Get in line.” Murphy dropped onto the couch and propped his feet up on the coffee table, ignoring her glare. “Have you talked to the kids?”

“Last night. Cassie called. They’re on their way and everything is going well. They’re having fun. I’m supposed to talk to them again tomorrow. I can only talk to them from the Sheriff office so they can be sure no one is listening in to the conversation.” Beckett sat in the chair and crossed her legs. “I wish there was more I could do other than sit and wait. Clint told me this morning that someone at the Quest Hotel called and said they thought they saw someone matching Ryan’s description. There’s no one registered under any of his known identities, but they’re keeping an eye on the place.”

“They’ll find him.” Murphy chewed thoughtfully. “Do we know how much he supposedly took from the cartel?”

“When I was leaving, I walked by the room where they held Robbins just as one of the agents opened the door and overheard him telling the FBI they skimmed nearly twenty bricks of cocaine and close to two million dollars off them. Between what we found in the storage locker and the three safety deposit boxes, we can account for six of the bricks and half a million. That means most of it is still out there. I think we can assume Ryan either wants it or has it.” She shoveled in rice and washed it down with wine. “I’m done talking about this for tonight. I want to eat, shower, and sleep. In that order.”

****

After eating and stowing the remaining food in the fridge, Beckett went directly upstairs to her bathroom. Stripping out of her suit, she deposited everything in the hamper and twisted the handle, turning on a spray of hot water. Twirling her hair into a loose bun, she secured it lightly with a pin and squirted make-up remover onto a cotton ball, leaning over the sink to buff off her make-up before getting in.

Looking up, she saw Murphy standing in the bathroom door and cocked an eyebrow. “Need something?”

Murphy stripped his shirt over his head, revealing tanned skin and hard muscles. “Thought we might conserve water.”

Would the sharp tug of desire in her stomach ever go away? Beckett studied him in the mirror and hoped to hell it never did. She finished removing her make-up and turned, the vanity counter biting into her butt. No longer was she self-conscious about being naked in front of him. It was impossible to be insecure about a less than perfect body when a man like Murphy was eyeing her like she was dessert.

She lifted her eyes to his, green onto brown, and held the gaze. Warmth started behind her navel and spread until her whole body tingled and yearned. Enjoying the feeling, she let her eyes wander over his body, enjoying the planes of his chest and abdomen.

“Might be a tight fit.”

Murphy grinned at the innuendo. “I’m counting on it.” Unbuttoning his jeans, he slid them down muscular legs and kicked them off.

Beckett’s gaze was drawn to his protruding erection and she bit down on her bottom lip, her tongue darting out to moisten it. “I think I can make room.”

He followed her into the shower, spinning her around and pressing her back to the wall. His mouth, hot and demanding, came down on hers. Beckett gripped his shoulders and feverishly pressed herself against him.

Drawing back, Murphy grabbed the shampoo and squeezed a dollop into his palm, reaching out to pluck the pin from her hair and releasing the cloud of crimson. Directing her under the spray, he rubbed the shampoo through her locks, tipping her head back to rinse the soap from the strands. Quickly scrubbing his own, he picked up the body wash and loofah.

Beckett’s eyes closed as he drew the slightly rough poof over her sensitized skin. It scraped her nipples lightly, then glided down her stomach, and brushed over the juncture to her thighs, making her jump and sigh. As the water rinsed the suds from her skin, Murphy dipped his head and laid his mouth at her neck, kissing her gently, and slipping his hand between her legs.

Beckett pressed her palms into his shoulders and lifted one leg to his hip, allowing him greater access to her body. He skimmed his fingertips over her clit, the water pounding down on them, slickening her skin and easing the friction. When one of his fingers slipped inside, she moaned and pressed her hips into his hand, encouraging him.

Murphy stroked his finger in and out, driving her up the cusp of release. Using his other hand to lift one of her breasts, he rubbed her nipple with one finger, circling it gently before rolling it between his thumb and forefinger, wringing a delicious gasp from Beckett.

“Beck.” She opened her eyes at the quiet insistence in his voice. “I don’t want to wait to have you.”

Feeling powerful, Beckett smiled lazily. “Then take me.”

Sucking in a breath when he lifted her off her feet and pressed her against the shower wall for balance, Beckett locked her legs around his waist, eagerly arching against him, her body welcoming him as he slid heavily inside.

They moved together quickly, each driving the other up the crest of orgasm. There was no time for whispered declarations or soft kisses. They moved desperately, seeking completion. Beckett undulated around his penis as he drove in and out, her body straining and grasping for climax.

Her breasts were crushed against his chest, his powerful body pumping as he thrust. Each stroke brought him closer and he bit down on his lip in an effort to slow himself down. Desire and need melded into what seemed a living beast, urging him to thrust faster, dive deeper. The steam from the shower made it harder to breathe, and their gasps blended together with the sound of their bodies slapping together. Beckett’s eyes closed and her head tipped back, her arms spread wide to grip the shelves in the shower, her back sliding up and down against the tile as he drove into her.

With a strangled groan, Beckett toppled off the edge of orgasm and broke apart, her body clamping down on him as waves of pleasure rolled through her. Stroking three more times, Murphy gave into his own release and emptied himself inside her, his penis twitching from the force of the orgasm.

****

“Beckett.”

Unused to her full name from Murphy, Beckett looked up from where she was drying her hair. Seeing concern in Murphy’s eyes, she straightened and turned off the blow-dryer.

“What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t use a condom.”

Shrugging, Beckett dragged on cotton sleep pants. “I went to my OB/GYN after the first time and got a script for the pill. There’s no reason to use both.”

Murphy took her hand and pulled her through the bathroom and into the bedroom. Pointing to her dresser, he spoke. “Those pills? The ones still in the bag?”

“Shit.” Beckett crossed her arms and looked at him. “I’m sorry. I thought I was taking them. With everything going on, I guess I forgot. I’ll go to the pharmacy for the morning-after pill tomorrow. It’s my fault.”

Murphy pulled on his sweatpants and sat on the end of the bed. “I’m not afraid to admit I know woefully little about reproductive goings-on other than how to use protection. Is the morning after pill effective?”

“Umm, pretty. Ninety percent or so, I think, as long as I take it within two days. I’ll go first thing in the morning to get it.”

His expression serious, Murphy patted the bed next to himself, waiting for her to sit before speaking. “I’m in love with you.” Without giving her an opportunity to respond, he barreled on. “Like all the way in love, want to get married and have babies in love with you. I don’t know if I always have been and just didn’t know, or if I just loved you so much it was a short trip to being in love, but there it is. I want you to marry me, I want you to let me adopt the kids, and I want us to be a family, complete with at least one more baby, maybe two. I grew up with three brothers, so I’m partial to four, even if one of them is an asshole.”

Placing two fingers on his mouth to stop the rambling, Beckett broke in gently. “I love you, too. In that all the way in love, want to get married and have babies sort of way.”

“I don’t want you to take the pill.” The exclamation burst forth before he could stop it. Continuing, he knew he was either going to dig a deeper hole or dig himself out, and wasn’t at all sure which it would be. “Obviously it’s your choice, and I won’t be mad if you do. I completely support a woman’s right to choose what to do with her own body, but I also think as the man who is quite desperately in love with you that I can tell you what I think.”

Looking torn between amusement and concern at his continued rambling, Beckett nodded reassuringly. “Sure you do.”

“I don’t want you to take the pill. Because standing there thinking about the possibility of having gotten you pregnant in my head, I realized I didn’t mind the notion. More than that, I liked it. I’m thirty-two years old. I’m ready for everything. I thought I’d be scared by the idea, and instead I’m scared by how much I want it. All I can think of is even if I didn’t just get you pregnant, I want to. I want to take you to the courthouse and make you mine in front of God and family tomorrow, if we can, and start making our life together. I don’t want to wait, and I don’t want to think about the consequences.”

Her eyes wet, Beckett wrapped her arms around Murphy and pressed her face into his shoulder. “Shut up for a minute so I can talk, would you?”

Miserable, he nodded. “Okay. Yeah, sure.”

“When I had Rhys, I knew I was made for family. I loved everything about the chaos of a baby, then two. I enjoy balancing them and holding them and reading bed-time stories. I like having a family. If things hadn’t changed, I’d probably have six kids by now. I won’t take the pill, Murphy, not because I think I’m going to end up pregnant from tonight, but because I don’t believe in letting outside forces dictate what I do. I’ll let things play out how they will and be okay either way because we’re making a choice about our future together.” Smiling, she drew back to kiss him lightly. “I’d prefer a real wedding in the spring.”

“Then that’s what you’ll have. That’s what we’ll do. I’ll buy you a ring. You deserve one. I don’t have one now because I hadn’t planned to do this, but I’ll get you one. I want to.” He held her tightly. “I love you, Beckett. So much.”

“I love you, too. Just as much.”