HOLDING THE BAG from Brentano’s, Benjamin opened the front door of his house. In the chair across the room, legs stretched out in front of her, his mother-in-law sat with her head tilted back, her face covered with a damp washcloth.
Benjamin stepped inside and closed the door.
Nefertiti was lying on the sofa, her head resting in her mother’s lap. Goya’s shirt had been pulled up and she slowly caressed her daughter’s hair as she sucked on a breast, glancing up at Benjamin, but then looking back down at her nursing daughter.
‘Is Elaine around?’ Benjamin said.
Looking back up quickly, Goya put her finger to her lips.
‘Oh sorry.’ Benjamin nodded. ‘Sorry.’
Goya continued stroking the girl’s hair.
‘Elaine around?’ Benjamin whispered.
Goya glanced at the stairway.
As he walked past Nan’s chair, Benjamin’s shoe knocked over a drinking glass on the floor, spilling some brown fluid and a tiny leaf-covered twig that had been in the glass. He bent down to pick up the twig, studying it for a moment, then holding it out to Goya. ‘What’s this?’ he whispered.
She shook her head without looking up.
Elaine was standing in the center of the bedroom. ‘What’s that all about?’ Benjamin said as he came into the room. He closed the door behind him. ‘Downstairs. What in hell’s that all about?’
‘Did you?’ she said.
‘Did I what?’
‘Tell him to leave.’
‘Garth? Of course.’
‘And are they?’
‘Of course.’
‘When?’
‘Later today, I believe.’
‘You believe.’
‘Later today.’
‘Mother’s not,’ Elaine said.
‘She’s not?’
She stared silently at him.
‘Nan’s not leaving?’
‘No.’
‘Well did you talk to her?’
‘Yes.’
‘And did you use the whorehouse line?’
‘Whorehouse,’ she said. ‘Brothel.’
‘Brothel.’
‘Benjamin.’
‘Did you say whorehouse or brothel?’
‘It wouldn’t have mattered.’
‘We discussed this,’ he said, setting the book down on the bed. ‘We agreed brothel wasn’t strong enough.’
‘Benjamin.’
‘It sounds like you pulled your big punch.’
‘It would not the fuck have mattered if I had said whorehouse or brothel,’ she said loudly.
‘Okay. Okay.’ He held up his hands.
‘So what are you going to do now?’ she said.
‘Me?’
‘Yes, you.’
He lowered his hands. ‘Okay. Well. I’m going to go down and tell her to leave.’
‘Then do it.’
‘All right,’ he said. ‘I’m going to.’
‘Now.’
‘Elaine, if I had some small inkling of what in hell has been going on here in my absence I could more effectively impart that instruction.’
‘Now!’
Except for Nefertiti having been moved to the other breast, nothing had changed in the living room. None of the three females looked up as Benjamin reached the foot of the stairs. Beside him Nan remained stretched out in the chair, her face still covered with the pink cloth. Benjamin seated himself on the bottom stair.
‘Benjamin!’ Goya whispered from across the room.
He looked up to see her motioning for him to come.
‘I need to have a word with my mother-in-law.’
She continued to motion to him. ‘We need to talk.’
‘In a minute.’
‘Something happened while you were gone,’ she said.
He looked back at her a few moments, then got up and went across the room.
Goya moved herself and her daughter a little farther over on the sofa. ‘Sit down.’
‘I’d just as soon stand.’
‘Something happened while you were gone that you need to know about.’ She began patting on the cushion beside her.
He looked down at it. ‘Just for a second then,’ he said, wedging himself in tightly between Goya and the end of the sofa.
‘What happened?’
The top of the child’s head rubbed against his elbow as she suckled.
‘Did Garth tell you we were leaving?’
‘He did.’
‘Because we can’t now.’
Nefertiti burped.
‘Why not?’
Suddenly Goya’s breast came out of Nefertiti’s mouth, spraying a small stream of milk around until the girl could put her lips back around it.
‘Why can’t you?’
‘Nan needs me here.’ She held out a piece of cloth to Benjamin.
‘To help her back out of the Circle.’
Benjamin shook his head. ‘No. Look, Goya . . .’
As she reached across her daughter to rub at a wet spot on the fly of Benjamin’s pants, he glanced up to see Elaine, halfway down the stairs, turning around and starting back up.
‘Excuse me.’
She was standing at the far end of the hallway. ‘Here’s the plan,’ she said as he approached her.
‘Elaine, if you’d just told me what kind of crazy shit has been going on here while—’
She put her forefinger on his lips. ‘You can’t hear the plan if you’re talking.’
‘The plan is that you tell me what happened and I go back down and clear them out.’
She reached up to a short rope coming down from the ceiling. ‘What happened,’ she said, pulling down on the rope and lowering a narrow wooden stairway, ‘was that Mother and I had a brawl, and Goya came in on her side.’
Benjamin looked up into the dark opening at the top of the stairway.
‘Now you know what happened. Go clear them out.’ She started up the stairs.
‘Well don’t go up there.’
‘When everyone but immediate family members are out of this house,’ she said, continuing to climb, ‘I shall descend. Not before.’ She reached the top and stepped onto a wooden platform, then bent down to begin pulling the stairway up after her.
‘Wait a minute, Elaine.’ He took hold of the stairs to stop them from rising farther. ‘Wait a minute.’
‘I’m sorry I interrupted you and Goya down there. You were having such fun. But why don’t you go in and get Matt’s GI Joe Super Shot squirt gun this time so she won’t have the advantage.’
‘They’re not leaving after all,’ Benjamin said.
‘They’re not.’
‘No. Which means one thing – there’s never been a time like this for the four of us to stick together.’
‘Let go of the stairs.’
‘We need an emergency family meeting, Elaine, to start reclaiming our turf. As a unit. Acting together. That’s what’s been missing up till now. Where are the boys?’
‘At the town pool.’
‘The town pool’s closed now.’
‘Yes, but if you’re standing in an empty swimming pool when aliens land they’ll appoint you as rulers over your fellow humans.’
‘Come on. We’ll go find them.’
‘Matt wants to be King of Tarrytown.’
Benjamin pulled the stairway the rest of the way down again.
‘Unless you want that job.’
He started up the steps.
‘Please don’t come up here.’
‘We’ll use this as our base of operations,’ he said as he reached the top.
‘It’s my base of operations.’
‘Our command post.’ He stepped onto the platform in the dark attic, then waved his hand through the air till it hit a string hanging from above.
‘Go back down, Benjamin. Try again to make them leave. As you promised.’
‘That was the old plan.’ He pulled the string and dim light filled the attic. ‘The new one is that we generate a strategy between the four of us and treat this as a project. In survival. Social survival. How does a social unit – our family in this case – in the face of an external threat, come together and formulate a method of self-protection?’
Suddenly Elaine’s mouth opened and she jumped back, raising one of her arms to point past Benjamin.
‘What?’ he said, turning around.
There were wooden beams running out from the platform to the far end of the attic, with thick pads of insulation between them. On one of the pads, turned upside down, was a large wooden trap, coming out from under it the hindquarters of a rat and its long hairless tail.
‘Take it easy,’ Benjamin said.
‘Get it out.’
He nodded. ‘I will. But the four of us have finally been pushed all the way, Elaine. Our backs are to the wall and we have no choice but to . . .’
‘Get it out!’
Keeping his feet on the tops of two beams he slowly walked to the overturned trap and carefully picked it up. Pinned by its neck to the wood by the strong spring, the body of the rat hung down from the trap as he slowly lifted it up from the insulation pad.
‘Is it dead?’
‘Very dead, Elaine.’
‘Get it out.’
‘I think you said that.’
She stepped back to the far edge of the platform and watched as he slowly came back across the beams, the heavy body of the rat swaying slightly as he held it out to his side.
‘Are you sure it’s dead?’
‘Do you understand what I’m saying about the four of us having been inexorably, inch by inch, forced into this wholly untenable—’
‘Answer me!’
‘It’s either dead, Elaine, or a very sound sleeper.’ He stepped back onto the platform. ‘But may we please keep our priorities straight here?’
‘The priority is to get it the fuck out!’
‘No,’ he said, ‘it’s to—’
‘Goddamn you, Benjamin.’
‘Right.’
He carried it down the stairs and, as soon as he had reached the hallway, turned to see the steps rising back up and into the ceiling. Then there was a sharp metallic click.
He stood looking up at the large rectangular panel in the ceiling above his head. Then he reached up and took hold of the short length of rope dangling from it. He pulled.
‘Elaine?’
He pulled on it again, harder.
‘We don’t lock doors, Elaine.’
There was no sound from above.
Finally he let go of it and turned toward the other end of the hall. He could hear the voices of Goya and her daughter coming from the living room.
‘Eight times six,’ Goya said.
‘Forty-eight.’
‘Nine times three.’
‘Twenty-seven,’ Nefertiti said.
He looked at the body hanging down from the trap in his hand and at one of the rat’s tiny clawed feet. He looked at the piece of cheese, still clenched between its jaws. Then he walked to the end of the hallway and slowly down to the living room again, holding the trap slightly behind himself as he stopped beside his mother-in-law’s chair.
Goya and her daughter were on the sofa where they had been before.
‘Twelve times five,’ Goya said.
The girl turned her head so her mother’s breast came out of her mouth. ‘Fifty-five.’
‘Again.’
‘It’s not fifty-five?’
‘Okay let me think.’
‘What’s behind you?’ Goya said, looking across the room at Benjamin.
‘What?’
‘What are you holding behind you?’
Benjamin moved his hip against the side of Nan’s chair, pushing it an inch or so along the floor. Nan tilted her head forward and reached up to lift a corner of the damp cloth. ‘Oh Jesus Christ!! Shit!!’ She lurched backwards, twisting her head away and slamming the back of the chair into the wall as the cloth flew off her face.
‘Just ridding the house of an unwanted visitor,’ Benjamin said, carrying the dead rodent past her and to the kitchen.
But the rat was the only visitor he was able to eject.
A number of years before, events had occurred in the lives of Benjamin, Elaine and Nan which were momentous, and they had altered not only the course of those three individuals’ lives, but the course of the lives of those around them. During the early years of their marriage the young couple had discussed and analyzed these events ad infinitum, sometimes with much emotion; but gradually, as their growing children demanded their attention, the subject came up less and less frequently, until finally they both decided there was no purpose in rehashing it further, and agreed to leave it behind.
But with Nan the subject had never been broached. Once or twice Benjamin had suggested to his wife that they might engage her mother in a discussion of those events as a way of trying to clear the air (there was a tension in their relationship with her that exceeded the usual strains occurring between married children and a parent), but he was always quick to realize the truth of Elaine’s observation that such a discussion would only be viewed by Nan as a reopening of old wounds, and predictably her reaction would be an eruption of the hysteria that had characterized her behavior when the events were fresh.
Obviously the question of whether or not to discuss these matters with Goya had never arisen, since she was unaware of them, or at least unaware of them until she decided to go upstairs as Benjamin, in the kitchen, was busy wrapping the rat in numerous plastic bags that had come back from the supermarket.
Goya looked into their bedroom first, walking far enough inside to see in the bathroom. ‘Elaine? Are you in there?’ After another moment she went back into the hallway and opened the door to Matt’s room, looking in to see that it was empty. She walked down the hall and looked in Jason’s room, then came back to the middle of the hallway. ‘Are you up here somewhere, Elaine?’ She stood quietly waiting for an answer, and when there was none, called again. ‘Elaine?’
Finally there was a click over her head and the stairs were partially lowered.
Goya took a step back to look up into the attic.
‘What do you want, Goya?’
‘Why are you up there?’
‘Did you want something?’
‘Just to talk. If that’s not a problem.’
After another few seconds, Goya took hold of the bottom step and pulled the stairs all the way down.
Elaine watched her climb up toward her.
‘Benjamin just about sent Nan into a convulsion dangling a dead rat in her face,’ Goya said, stepping onto the platform beside her and looking around the dimly lit room.
‘Goya, may I say something? Not that it’s a big deal, but you know Nan is sort of the name the boys have for their grandmother. Benjamin and I use it too, so that we all—’
‘She asked us to call her that.’
It was quiet for a moment.
Elaine nodded. ‘Of course,’ she said. ‘Sorry.’
‘Elaine, why do you always have to be so fucking defensive with me?’
‘Goya,’ she said, ‘I think it’s time for you and your family to start thinking of going home.’
Goya looked up at one of the slanting beams of the ceiling. ‘I’m sure you do.’
‘I do.’
‘And what happens to Nan after we go?’ Goya said.
‘We can’t leave her in this poisonous atmosphere.’
‘Then take her with you.’
The platform on which they were standing was made of rough wooden boards, and there was a small pile of newspapers resting on one corner of it. Goya removed a newspaper from just under the top one and opened it to spread over part of the platform.
‘Goya.’
She flattened the newspaper down and then seated herself cross-legged on it. ‘Things can’t go on this way, Elaine.’
Elaine looked down at her. ‘Goya, forgive me for sounding like a property-owning asshole, but this is not your house.’
‘The earth is my house.’
‘The earth maybe. But not this particular thing sitting on it.’
Goya shook her head. ‘I’m sad for you, Elaine.’
‘I’m sad that you’re sad.’
There was a short piece of wire next to where Goya was sitting. She picked it up and bent it between her fingers. ‘By the way,’ she said, unbending it again, ‘I know what happened back then.’
Elaine looked down at her without answering.
‘With the three of you,’ Goya said.
Elaine watched her form the wire into a circle.
‘She told you about that?’
‘She told Garth.’
Elaine nodded. ‘Right. Well it happened. It was a long time ago.’
‘But Elaine,’ Goya said, looking up at her, ‘you’re still letting yourself be ruled by that distant event.’
‘That’s not true.’
‘Which cult was it, by the way?’
‘Which what?’
‘I had a friend in college who got drawn into one and I wondered if it might have been the same one.’
‘Which cult, did you say?’
‘The Beam of Joyous Light by any chance?’
After looking at her a moment longer, Elaine raised her arms up beside herself. ‘Goya, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.’
‘Elaine, do you ever let your guard down? Ever?’
‘Mother told Garth I was in a cult?’
‘Benjamin was drawn in. Then he drew you in.’
Elaine shook her head. ‘I have now heard everything.’
‘Just tell me if it was the Beam of Joyous Light. You might have known Frieda.’
‘No one was ever in a cult, Goya.’
Goya reached over and put her hand on Elaine’s calf. ‘Let’s just be still for a few moments.’
Elaine looked down at her fingers around her lower leg. ‘What else did she tell Garth about us?’
‘Shh.’
‘I need to know what other bullshit she’s been saying.’
Goya looked down at the platform. ‘Let’s see. She told him about the wedding.’
‘Yours. With someone named Carl.’
Elaine nodded. ‘All right. What did she say about that?’
‘That you were marrying this guy and Benjamin burst into the church and broke it up.’
‘Unbelievable,’ Elaine said. ‘She said one true thing.’
‘And took you off to the cult.’
‘Goya, can you please let go of my leg?’
‘I’m coaxing you into a Circle.’
‘Well can you do it without holding my leg?’ she said, pulling it away.
Goya sat quietly for a moment, then reached over for another newspaper, opening it up to place down on the platform. ‘Sit down with me, Elaine.’
‘I’ll stand.’
‘Elaine, did you ever think of trying a little love for a change?’ Goya said, frowning up at her.
Elaine looked down at a picture of Richard Nixon in the newspaper. ‘A little love.’
‘Did you?’
‘I like to think I always try a little love.’
‘Not since we’ve been here you haven’t.’
It was quiet for a few moments, then Elaine nodded. ‘You’re right, Goya. About that you are right. A little love I haven’t tried yet.’ She lowered herself down onto the newspaper, seating herself cross-legged in front of Goya. ‘Now. What exactly did she tell Garth?’
Goya shrugged. ‘Just that you were marrying this doctor – med student, whatever – and Benjamin broke into the church and kidnapped you.’
‘And dragged me off to a cult.’
‘And even though Nan wouldn’t say this to your face – she is sensitive to your feelings, whether you like to think so or not – but since she’s been here she’s begun noticing that some of the brainwashing’s seeped back in.’
‘The brainwashing’s seeped back in.’
‘In little ways.’
‘Such as?’
‘A glazed expression.’
‘Really.’
‘That’s the main one.’
‘Do you think I have a glazed expression, Goya?’
‘I didn’t know you back then. I have no means of comparison. And I realize you underwent extensive deprogramming . . .’
Elaine held up her hand. ‘May I please give you the reality-based version now, Goya?’
Goya’s hair was falling down across her shoulders. She tipped her head back and shook it slightly so the hair fell down over her back.
‘My parents pushed me into the wedding with Carl to keep me away from Benjamin. Carl had proposed, but I hadn’t made up my mind yet. They made it up for me.’
‘So what’s Carl doing today?’
‘Goya, I have no idea what Carl’s doing today.’
‘Okay. So you didn’t marry Carl.’
‘Actually I did. We’d just finished saying “I do” or whatever when Benjamin got there.’
‘Was it a big wedding?’
‘Goya, what difference does it make if it was a big wedding?’
‘You can’t tell me?’
‘It was big.’
Goya nodded.
‘All the preparations had been made secretly, without Benjamin finding out – Carl’s family lived in Santa Barbara and that’s where we had it.’
‘Bridesmaids?’ Goya said.
‘What?’
‘If it was some rush job,’ Goya said, ‘I’m thinking you might not have had time to get bridesmaids’ dresses and all that.’
‘Goya . . .’
‘You can’t tell me if you had bridesmaids?’
‘I had bridesmaids.’
‘Okay, go on.’
Elaine looked at her a moment before speaking again. ‘So anyway,’ she said, ‘Benjamin found out about it somehow – I think one of Carl’s friends told him . . .’
‘Was there a reception?’
‘Jesus Christ, Goya.’
‘You can’t tell me if there was a reception?’
‘Goya, how could there be a reception if Benjamin kidnapped me – as you put it – right out of the church?’
‘Maybe he let you stop off for it.’
Elaine shook her head. ‘What is the point of telling you this?’
‘Okay. No reception. What happened next?’
‘Monday we went over to the Santa Barbara Court House and I applied for an annulment. In California you can do that if the marriage hasn’t been consummated.’
It was quiet for a moment.
‘So you and Carl hadn’t consummated it.’
‘Goya, how in hell could we have consummated it?’
‘Elaine, don’t keep getting fucking pissed off at me.’
‘We said the vows. Benjamin showed up at the church. We left. Can you please tell me how you think I could have consummated it with Carl?’
Goya nodded. ‘It would have been rushed.’
‘A little.’
‘But at least the guests would have got their money’s worth.’
‘Look, Goya . . .’
Goya looked up at her. ‘I don’t know about California law,’ she said, ‘but I wonder if you’d consummated it with Carl before the marriage if that would have had any bearing on things. Legally.’
‘I didn’t consummate it with Carl before, during or after the marriage.’
‘You never did.’
‘No.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because I hardly knew him.’
‘That never used to stop me.’
‘I’m sure it didn’t,’ Elaine said, ‘but my point is there was no cult.’
Goya nodded. ‘So you got it annulled. Then what?’
‘Benjamin and I got married and lived happily ever after. Till now.’
‘Where’d you get married?’
‘In Reno.’
‘And how’d that go?’
‘Very smoothly.’
‘No hitches.’
‘No,’ Elaine said. ‘They took a picture of us after the ceremony and when we got back to the motel Benjamin noticed his fly had been open, but other than that it was charming.’
It was quiet for a few moments.
‘But Elaine?’
‘Yes, Goya.’
‘Why was everyone trying so hard to keep you and Benjamin apart?’
Again it was quiet.
‘If you say there was no cult.’
‘I understand your question.’
‘It doesn’t add up.’
Elaine cleared her throat. ‘There was something else everyone was upset about at the time.’
‘Which was what?’
She looked down at the side of her shoe resting on Richard Nixon’s face. ‘Goya, some things in families are private.’
‘We’re all in the same family, Elaine.’
‘I didn’t know that.’
‘At least I hope we are.’
‘Oh. I guess you mean The Family of Man.’
‘Call it what you will.’
Again for a long time it was quiet, till finally Elaine shrugged. ‘Why not?’ she said. ‘It came out that Benjamin and Mother had been consummating their relationship.’
Goya frowned.
‘So now you know.’
‘You thought they’d been fucking?’
‘After Benjamin came home from college, they had an affair.’
‘And that’s something the cult leader put in your head?’
Elaine got to her feet. ‘Thanks for stopping by, Goya.’
‘Elaine, how do you think those people get power over you? They make you believe bizarre shit like that to turn you against your family members.’
‘Up,’ Elaine said, reaching down for her arm.
‘They convinced Frieda her grandfather had a contract out on her.’
Elaine began lifting her to her feet.
‘Do you mind, for Christ’s sake?’ Goya pulled her arm away, then stood.
Elaine gestured toward the top of the stairs.
‘Elaine, I am just fucking trying to help you.’
‘I’m beyond help, Goya.’
‘Tell me about it,’ she said, starting down the steps. ‘But at least out of consideration to the rest of us, get your ass back to a deprogrammer so he can finish the job.’
Garth returned from New York later in the day and his wife told him they would have to prolong their stay because her calming presence was needed for order to be restored in the chaotic household. By then Benjamin had removed the small desk chair from his younger son’s room and placed it just underneath the panel in the hallway ceiling. The panel remained in place, though, and no sound came from the other side of it. But this didn’t prevent Benjamin from directing his own comments ceilingward, although none of these, including one he made several times during the day – ‘What are you pissing in up there, the insulation?’ – elicited a response.
Sometimes he provided a running commentary on the events taking place below, which were clearly audible to him when the speakers were in the living room. ‘They’re talking about you now. They’re saying how much they both love you and want you to find the happiness that comes only with inner peace. Now they’re doing a chant designed to fill you with everlasting contentment.’ He sat listening for a few moments to the chanting, then looked up at the ceiling. ‘Is it working?’
The three boys came back into the house at the end of the afternoon and he relayed to Elaine the events of their day.
‘Just one spaceman landed. He was cleverly disguised as a policeman and asked the boys why they were standing in the empty pool. Although Matt and Jason were alarmed at his approach, fortunately Aaron easily identified the intruder and addressed him in his native tongue. Nonetheless, the alien demanded to know why they weren’t in school and upon receiving Jason’s explanation, in English, put in a call to Warren G. Harding, where it was confirmed that they had a valid reason not to be in school. Following this incident the three boys wandered back and forth on the main street of town for several hours, speculating on who was best qualified to govern the various continents.’
But in the absence of any appreciative rejoinders to Benjamin’s humorous retelling of these episodes, his enthusiasm for passing them along gradually flagged, and when evening came and a party began taking shape below, he sat listening silently to its progress as Goya went out to their van to bring in some wineskins, and as the children intermittently ran shouting from room to room, and as Garth’s guitar was brought out for the group singing of some of the day’s popular songs (Benjamin’s lips parted slightly at the sound of Nan loudly joining in on a chorus of ‘Monday, Monday’, one of his and Elaine’s favorites, but then his mouth closed again soundlessly).
The odor of marijuana smoke found its way into the upstairs hallway sometime during the evening, but by then the well-known soporific qualities of this substance were of little use to Benjamin, who was slumped in the small chair, dozing on and off despite the raucous goings-on beneath him.
Once during the night Benjamin did have a brief conversation with his wife, which took place after their sons had come up to bed. Jason climbed the stairs first. ‘You missed a great one, Dad,’ he said, going past his father and to his room.
‘Well Jason?’ Benjamin said, getting up from his chair as Jason began closing his door.
‘Dad, It’s after two a.m. I don’t think we should let these late-night sessions become a habit.’
Benjamin nodded. ‘True. We’ll talk about things in the morning.’
Matt came up a few minutes later and stopped outside the door of his room. ‘How come you’re sitting on my chair?’ he said.
‘Your mother’s in the attic tonight,’ Benjamin said. ‘I’m sitting down here.’
Matt glanced up at the panel in the ceiling, then back at his father. ‘This might be a dumb question.’
‘Matt, we’re all going to talk in the morning. Right now we need to get whatever sleep we still can.’
Matt looked at him a moment longer. ‘I guess Jason told you about the incident,’ he said. Then he turned into his room. ‘Night.’
He was seated on his bed, reaching down to untie his shoes, when his father arrived in the doorway. ‘Oh Dad,’ he said, looking up, ‘it’s you. How’s it going?’
‘What incident?’
‘We can cover it in the morning.’
‘Did something happen down there?’
Matt stood again, shoes untied, and walked out past his father and down to the end of the hall. He knocked on his brother’s door and, after a few moments, Jason opened it. ‘I’m going to bed.’
‘Dad wants you to tell him about the incident.’
‘You tell him.’
‘Boys,’ Benjamin said, joining them, ‘just tell me what happened so we can all get some sleep.’
‘There was a slight situation at the party,’ Jason said. ‘We handled it as best we could.’
‘You’re the one who handled it,’ Matt said. ‘She wasn’t talking to me.’
‘She was talking to both of us.’
‘Who?’ Benjamin said.
Matt shook his head. ‘I wasn’t involved.’
‘One for each of us,’ Jason said to his brother. ‘It was so obvious.’
‘Wrong.’ Matt shook his head.
‘One of what for each of you?’ Benjamin said.
‘She was just talking to Jason.’
‘Look, I don’t care who she was talking to,’ Benjamin said. ‘Did Nan say something to you?’
‘Goya,’ Matt said.
‘Goya.’
‘If she was talking to both of us,’ Matt said, ‘how come you’re the only one who answered her?’
‘Because you were just standing there with your mouth hanging open.’
‘Oh right,’ Matt said, nodding. ‘Really. My mouth was really hanging open, wasn’t it, Jason?’
‘Just tell me what she said,’ Benjamin said loudly. ‘Forget who she said it to.’
‘It was just one word,’ Matt said.
‘Which was?’
‘Thirsty?’
‘Thirsty,’ Benjamin said.
‘With one in each hand,’ Jason said, ‘which proves she was talking to both of us.’
‘How does it?’
‘It’s self-evident.’
‘But she was aiming them both at you.’
‘She was aiming one at each of us, you little creep.’
Benjamin nodded. ‘I’m getting the picture.’
‘Not a pretty one, is it, Dad?’ Matt said.
Benjamin held up his hand. ‘Okay. Let’s be perfectly clear. Goya offered to nurse you.’
‘Just him,’ Matt said.
‘Dad, tell him he’s a creep and a liar.’
‘She offered to breastfeed you,’ Benjamin said. ‘Is that right?’
‘One of us,’ Matt said. ‘I won’t say which.’
‘Just as an aside, Matt,’ his father said, ‘why are you so fanatical she wasn’t talking to you?’
‘Because I’m not into that sort of thing.’
‘Who said you were?’
‘Nobody. I just want to make sure everyone knows I’m not.’
‘And everyone does,’ his father said. ‘Okay?’
‘That’s all I care about.’
Benjamin turned to his other son. ‘What did you say back to her?’
‘When she said “Thirsty?”’
‘Right.’
‘No thank you.’
‘That’s true,’ Matt said. ‘Those were his exact words.’
‘No thank you,’ Benjamin said.
‘That’s all that came to mind.’
Their father looked down at the floor a few moments, then back at his older son. ‘That was exactly right,’ he said. ‘The best possible response. Polite and respectful, despite the awkwardness of the situation.’
‘It’s all I could think of.’
‘And was that the end of it?’
‘She said one other thing,’ Matt said.
‘What was that?’
‘Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.’
Benjamin looked back at Jason. ‘Did you respond to that?’
‘I didn’t.’
‘Actually you did,’ Matt said.
‘What did I say?’
‘Oh right. I did say that.’
‘Maybe some other time,’ Benjamin said.
‘It’s just what came to mind.’
Again it was quiet, then Benjamin nodded. ‘That was exactly right too,’ he said. ‘A basically outrageous situation, and yet you had the presence of mind to think of her feelings. Nothing rude. Nothing insensitive. But a response that made clear to her that it was out of the question.’ There was a pause. ‘So was that the end of it?’
‘That was the incident in its entirety,’ Matt said.
Again for a long time it was quiet. ‘Time for bed,’ Benjamin said at last. ‘When things settle down again it will be fascinating to go into all the cultural questions this incident brings up. But right now you need your sleep. You both handled a highly challenging social situation with great skill.’
‘I didn’t handle it.’
‘Well your brother handled it with great skill. I commend you, Jason.’
‘Thanks, Dad.’ He went into his room.
Matt was frowning ‘Dad?’
‘Yes, Matt.’
‘How does saying “Maybe some other time” make it clear it’s out of the question?’
It was a minute or two after Benjamin had resumed his post on the little chair that there was a click over his head. He got to his feet and looked up as the panel was lowered several inches. ‘Elaine,’ he said, ‘it’s about time.’
‘What was that about?’ she said.
‘What?’
‘What were you talking about?’
‘The party’s over. Come down now.’ Benjamin reached up for the rope but the panel went back up into the ceiling. He lowered his arm. ‘Elaine?’
A few moments later the crack appeared again.
‘I am not up here because of the party. I am up here until I have my house back.’
Benjamin nodded.
‘What were the three of you arguing about?’
‘No one was arguing. We were just discussing the party.’
‘You were arguing.’
‘Elaine, if you couldn’t hear what we were saying, how could you tell we were arguing?’
‘I could tell it was a heated discussion. I couldn’t make out the words.’
‘I was commending Jason on his behavior at the party.’
‘What behavior?’
‘There was a minor incident and I was commending him on the mature way he handled it.’
‘What was the incident?’
Benjamin looked down at the chair.
‘Benjamin.’
‘I’m trying to remember.’
‘You can’t remember an incident on which you commended him for his maturity three minutes ago?’
‘Some exchange with Goya,’ he said, looking up again. ‘I think that was it.’
‘What exchange with Goya?’
‘Elaine, if you will come down here we can discuss it properly.’
‘What exchange with her?’
‘Just some silly thing.’
‘What silly thing?’
‘Some silly thing she said to them.’
‘Which was?’
Again Benjamin frowned down toward the chair, then looked up again. ‘It’s too insignificant to bring to mind.’
‘All right,’ she said, as the crack above Benjamin’s head began to close. ‘Well, why don’t you tell me when you can remember?’
‘She made them an offer.’
‘Offer?’
‘Elaine, it was so trivial. Possibly it could be blown out of proportion. The point is how well Jason handled it.’
‘An offer of what?’
‘Milk.’
‘What?’
‘Elaine.’
‘I didn’t hear what you said – you were mumbling. Say it again.’
Again it was quiet. ‘She offered them a glass of milk?’
‘Oh wait a minute,’ he said, holding up his hand. ‘No. I had part of that wrong.’
‘What?’
‘Elaine, the thing to concentrate on here is the incredible poise Jason exhibited in dealing with an extremely difficult social situation.’
‘Let me guess,’ she said. ‘You had the glass part wrong.’
‘That’s the part I had wrong. But the point is how proud you would have been of—’
The panel above Benjamin slammed shut and there was a sharp metallic click.
When Elaine came down next morning Benjamin was still dozing in the chair and the narrow wooden stairway hit the top of his head, waking him. He got up, pulling the chair out of the way so she could lower the stairs the rest of the way. When she had reached the bottom she pushed the stairs back up into the ceiling and then turned to smile at him. ‘Good morning.’
He looked back at her, then nodded.
‘How did you sleep?’ she said.
‘I’ve had better.’
‘Me too.’ She went into the bedroom.
Several moments later he followed.
‘Matt and Jason have been talking about seeing The Towering Inferno,’ she said over the sound of running water. ‘Do you know if that’s still playing on Central Avenue?’
‘I don’t.’
‘I thought it might be fun for me to take the two of them and Aaron over to see it. I think that theatre starts its showings at noon or so, doesn’t it?’ She came out several minutes later, drying her face off with a towel. ‘Don’t you think that would be fun for them?’
‘It would be.’
‘I’m sure it’s still there,’ she said. ‘I think it just opened last week.’ She put the towel on the bed. ‘Then after the movie I’ll come back and drop Aaron off.’ She smiled at him as she approached him, still standing in the doorway. ‘Excuse me.’
He stepped aside so she could go into the hall.
‘What do you mean?’ he said as she went to the end of the hall.
She stopped and turned back to him. ‘About what?’
‘You’ll drop Aaron off.’
‘So he can rejoin his family.’
Benjamin nodded. ‘Well that’s good.’
‘So is everything clear?’ she said, still smiling at him.
‘Perfectly. But it was just an odd way to put it.’
‘What was odd about it?’
‘I mean, you said “Drop Aaron off”,’ Benjamin said, making a gesture.
‘That’s what I’ll do.’
‘Well yes. But it was just a slightly strange way to put it.’
‘Why?’
‘Because it made it sound like . . . you know . . . you’re going to drop Aaron off . . .’
She continued smiling.
‘But you know,’ he said, ‘like you won’t be coming in yourselves.’
She nodded.
‘You won’t.’
‘Not if Mother’s still here.’
‘Oh, okay. I see what you were getting at.’
‘So is it all clear to you now?’
‘Well not exactly.’
‘What’s not clear yet?’
‘Okay, if Mother’s still here when you get back from the movie, you’ll drop Aaron off and do what? The rest of you.’
‘Go on along.’
‘Go on along?’
‘That’s right.’
He shook his head. ‘This is disjointed.’
‘I thought it was clear.’
‘It is. But now it’s disjointed.’
‘What’s disjointed about it?’
‘You’ll come back after the movie and drop Aaron off, but if Mother’s still here the rest of you will go on along.’
‘You have it.’
‘We’ll let you know when we’re settled.’ She walked the rest of the way down the stairs.
There was a brief squeaking noise as toilet paper was pulled from its roll. Then it was quiet for a moment before the loud sound of flushing. Nan stepped out of her room. ‘Oh Ben,’ she said, looking up at him, ‘I didn’t know you were there.’
‘May we talk?’
‘I was just coming up. Did the others get off?’
‘We need to talk.’
‘Wasn’t that a good idea of Elaine’s?’ She turned sideways to go past him in the doorway. ‘Taking the boys to the movie. Of course she’s the one who needs the break. Ben, I am getting so worried about that girl. She just doesn’t know her own limits, does she?’ She went into the living room.
‘Nan.’
‘Do you know when the movie lets out?’
‘Three fifty-seven.’
In one corner of the room a sleeping bag was in a heap, partially covering an air mattress. ‘You know, I have grown so fond of that little family,’ she said, walking to it. ‘Honestly, I never thought I could. But Ben, I mean really.’ She picked up the sleeping bag, held it out to shake, then folded it in half. ‘There is a bare minimum, isn’t there.’ She pushed the plastic mattress all the way into the corner with her foot and then rested the bag on it.
‘The three of them won’t be coming back into the house,’ he said.
She straightened up to look up at him.
‘If you’re still here.’
It was quiet a moment, then she shook her head.
‘If you’re still here when they come back from the movie, Elaine will drop Aaron off and then they’ll go on.’
She looked at him a moment longer, then bent down to pick a pair of Levis up from the floor. ‘Go on where?’
‘She’ll tell me when they’re settled.’
Nan folded the Levis to place on the sleeping bag.
‘And so the best thing right now,’ Benjamin said, ‘for the sake of your grandchildren, whose lives will be thrown into utter turmoil if this happens, is for me to help you get organized so you’ve left by the time they return.’
‘By three fifty-seven,’ she said.
‘Yes.’
‘Well then of course it takes – how long will it take them to drive back from Central Avenue?’
‘That’s not the point.’
‘Well no, but I’m just trying to calculate how much time I have.’ She picked up a backpack from beside the wall to put on the mattress.
‘Nan, don’t keep worrying about their things.’
‘Ben, somebody has to.’
‘They will.’
‘But they won’t, Ben, that’s my whole point. I mean, they’re as free as the breeze and how refreshing that is, but as I was telling Goya just this morning, you can be a free spirit and all that, but even free spirits have to wash out their underpants once in a while.’ She picked up a large bra from the floor but Benjamin walked across the room and took it away from her. ‘I’m making a little pile,’ she said. ‘Just drop it on that.’
‘There isn’t time for this.’
‘For what?’
‘This.’
‘Ben, how long does it take to drop a brassiere?’ She took it back from him, folded it in half and set it on the other things. ‘Oh, by the way, you do know about the new plan, don’t you?’ She pointed at a pajama top on the floor behind him. ‘Hand me that.’
‘What new plan?’
‘Just hand me that, can you?’
Benjamin reached over with his foot and pushed the item of clothing over to the others. ‘What plan?’
‘The Lewises’.’
‘Which is what?’
‘They’re leaving after all,’ she said as she bent down for the pajamas. ‘I mean, I sort of gave them a nudge, to be honest. Don’t worry, I was tactful, but here we all are standing by and watching poor Elaine go under for the third time trying to manage this great horde of people, so when Goya mentioned that Garth’s started worrying about a heart attack – can you imagine, someone of his age – I took the opportunity of saying maybe the time had come for them to heed the call of the wild.’
Benjamin nodded. ‘Okay. Well that’s good.’
‘Goya and Neffi will spend a couple hours down by the river. He’s coming back from the city a little earlier today, but not for a while, so by the time our little family gets back they’ll be all packed up and waiting in the van for Aaron.’ She looked over at a shirt draped across the back of the sofa.
‘It’s not your little family, Nan.’
‘What isn’t?’
‘Us.’
‘Well whose ever little family it is,’ she said, walking to the shirt, ‘Elaine will be able to take a great deep breath when she doesn’t—’
He walked quickly to her, took the shirt out of her hand to bunch up and then threw it over onto the pile. ‘What’s the situation with your flight?’
‘My flight?’
‘Do you not understand, Nan, what is happening here?!’
‘Well yes,’ she said. ‘Elaine’s swamped with—’
‘Elaine could cope quite comfortably with ten Lewis families.’
‘Ten.’ She laughed. ‘Now you’re giving me a heart attack.’ Nan reached over the back of the sofa toward a sandal on one of the cushions, but Benjamin took hold of her wrist to stop her from picking it up. They stood looking down at his fingers around her wrist for a moment, then he released them and took the sandal to throw over onto the pile.
‘Your flight situation,’ he said.
‘I have a tentative.’
‘Tentative what?’
‘Things got so crazy yesterday,’ she said. ‘The poor airline people didn’t know if they were coming or going, so Elaine left it that if I didn’t get to the airport by check-in time yesterday – which I didn’t, obviously – they would hold space on the same flight today, up to a certain point.’
‘What point?’
Nan stepped to the large window overlooking the street.
‘Nan.’
‘Yes, Ben.’
‘To what point will they hold space today?’
Looking out the window, Nan didn’t answer right away. ‘Ben, you have to come and see this. Your neighbor across the street has one of these newfangled garage-opening things and it doesn’t seem to be working. He keeps aiming at his garage door and—’
‘What point!’
‘What point what?’ she said, turning around, smiling.
‘Will they hold space on the flight?!’
‘Nine this evening,’ she said, ‘so I have all the time in the world.’
‘Not until the movie’s over do you have all the time in the world!’
She looked back down at the pile of clothing. ‘Ben, you know what I think Elaine must have meant. She’s so confused at the moment, I’m sure she meant she couldn’t face coming back inside if the Lewises were still here.’
He stared at her.
‘A slip of the tongue, that’s what it was. Well, who can blame her?’
‘I’m begging you, Nan,’ he said.
‘Begging me?’
‘Yes.’
‘What a strange thing to say, Ben.’
‘Oh dear God, please leave before she gets back.’
For a long time the two of them looked at each other, then Nan’s gaze fell to a small table against the wall beside Benjamin. ‘Last night at the party,’ she said, ‘Matt and Jason were telling me about the project you all did learning to play poker.’ She walked to the table and picked up a pack of cards. ‘They were so cute.’ She carried the cards to the sofa, seating herself on the end cushion and then holding the cards down on the center cushion to shuffle. ‘Here they were, teaching me how to play five-card draw.’ She shuffled them again. ‘Ben, when Elaine was growing up, her father and I took turns with our friends going around to each other’s homes for poker evenings. I don’t think there was once I didn’t clean the rest of them out. They finally had to give me a handicap.’ She shuffled a third time. ‘And here was little Matt explaining to me the difference between a full house and a royal flush.’ She smiled. ‘That was so sweet. Of course I didn’t let on.’ She looked up at him. ‘Let’s have a hand or two.’
‘Jesus Christ, Nan.’
‘Don’t worry, not for money.’
‘Nan, as degrading as this is for me, I am literally begging you to let my marriage survive.’
She tilted her head slightly as she looked back at him. ‘You’re saying the strangest things, Ben.’ She patted the far cushion. ‘Sit down. We’ll just have one quick hand and then I’ll throw my things together. Oh, and bring me my purse.’ She pointed at it, on the little table where the cards had been. ‘Don’t worry, we aren’t playing for money. This is something else.’
‘One quick hand.’
‘My purse, Ben.’
‘One quick hand and then you leave.’
She glanced at her watch. ‘Ben, hurry up, I want to get started for the airport.’
He watched as she began dealing cards onto the center cushion, then picked up the purse and carried it across to her.
‘Just put it on the floor.’
He set it down beside the sofa, then seated himself at the other end from her.
‘Jason was telling me the point of your poker project was to study how people bluff each other – Ben, I just love how you take the everyday things of life and turn them into an educational experience for the boys.’ She finished dealing and held up her cards. ‘But I just want to say I don’t think you learned your own lesson very well if you can’t tell that Elaine has no intention of walking out on you.’
‘She doesn’t bluff.’
‘Pick up your hand, Ben.’
He picked it up. ‘I’ll stay.’
‘Well at least see what you have.’ She studied her own cards, then removed two to place on the cushion before drawing two from the pile to replace them with. ‘What do you have?’ she said.
He set them face-up on the cushion.
‘Darling, you didn’t even look at them.’
‘I stayed.’
‘How can you stay if you don’t even know what you have?’
‘It’s time to get started.’
She shook her head. ‘Ben, that wasn’t a game. Really. That’s insulting.’
‘We played.’
She gathered the cards together. ‘You deal this time,’ she said, holding them out.
‘Go, Nan.’
‘Ben, I want to end my visit on a high note,’ she said. ‘Not some phony game so I’ll just be thinking all you wanted was to get me out the door.’
‘That’s all we want.’
She continued holding them in front of him. ‘Benjamin, it’s not even one-thirty yet. You said they get out at four.’
‘A proper game, yes.’
He looked down at the cards.
‘Anyway, there’s something I need to show you.’
It was quiet a few moments.
‘Ben, deal. We’re wasting time.’
He took them from her, placed them on the cushion and quickly shuffled them once. As he dealt them Nan reached down into her purse beside the sofa and removed a small blue envelope. She rested it on her knee.
‘Nan, don’t start up on anything.’
‘Start up on what?’
‘Whatever it is,’ he said, nodding at the envelope. ‘Put it away. One proper game and then you’re gone. I’m sorry to be crude.’
‘Ben, you couldn’t be crude if you tried.’ She watched as he began dealing the cards. ‘But all right then. We’ll just take one thing at a time.’
‘The card game is the only thing we’re taking, Nan.’ He finished dealing five cards to each of them, then picked up his hand.
‘Men can only do one thing at a time,’ she said as she picked hers up. ‘Did you know that?’
He shook his head.
‘I read that somewhere. A study. Women can do all kinds of things at once but men can only do one.’
Benjamin quickly went through his cards, removing three to put on the cushion before replacing them with three from the pile.
‘Hmm,’ Nan said, studying her cards. ‘Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.’
‘Two pairs,’ Benjamin said, setting his face-up between them.
She frowned.
‘What do you have?’
‘Ben, I haven’t even decided what to put back yet.’
‘Well could you?’
‘You’re showing me your hand even before I decide what to put back. Good Lord, I hope you weren’t the one who taught the boys how to play.’
‘Nan.’
‘Ben, I’m sorry, but we are going to play a proper hand.’ She returned her cards to the pile. ‘I’ll deal this one.’
‘We’re finished.’
‘You showed your cards early.’
‘It was sloppy playing on my part, but it was a proper game. The astute poker player takes advantage of the mistakes of an opponent, which I assume you will do. You won.’
‘But I hope the astute poker player doesn’t take advantage of an opponent exhibiting brain death.’
‘You won, Nan,’ he said, getting up from the sofa. ‘Game’s over.’
They looked at each other a few moments, then Nan picked up the envelope from her knee.
‘Put it away.’
‘You don’t know what it is yet.’
‘Ben, I brought it all the way from California to show you.’
‘Take it all the way back.’
After a moment she opened the flap of the envelope and took out a folded sheet of stationery.
‘Put . . . it . . . a . . . way.’
‘Ben, you’re being so rude.’
‘I thought I couldn’t be rude if I tried.’
‘That was crude. Listen. To make up for your little lapse in manners, why don’t you just let me very quickly go into this so I can be on my way.’
‘Quickly quickly quickly then.’
Again she looked at her watch. ‘Ben, the movie hasn’t even started over there yet. Well, maybe the trailers.’ She unfolded the letter. ‘This was sent to me last year by a stockbroker friend. Sadly, we’ve parted company since then, but we were hot and heavy at the time.’
‘Quickly quickly.’
‘Don’t you want to sit down again?’
‘Quickly.’
‘Ben, I’m going as quickly as I can. Where was I?’
‘Stockbroker friend. Hot and heavy.’
‘That’s right.’
He made a large circular motion with his hand.
‘Jesus Christ, Benjamin, the goddamn movie is just now starting.’
‘They may come back early.’
‘The theatre may be full.’
‘In the middle of the day on a Wednesday?’
‘One of them may get sick.’
‘You’ll make your deadline, Ben.’ She set the piece of stationery on her knee and reached back into her purse. ‘I have a couple other related things to show you,’ she said, bringing up two more pieces of paper. ‘I won’t need to leave these with you, but they’ll give you some background if you’re not familiar with the scandal. Let’s see now. How shall we do this?’
‘Just do it.’
‘Ben,’ she said, looking up, ‘if she’s given you the ultimatum that she’ll leave you if I’m still here after the movie lets out at four, and if for any unforeseen reason she has to come back early, and I’m still here, she will make the adjustment and allow you the additional time to throw me out.’
He looked back without answering.
‘Won’t she? She’s a sensible girl – one of the many admirable traits she got from her mother – and she’s not going to be so rash as to throw her marriage away because of the change in a movie timetable, now is she?’
He nodded at the letter.
‘You do her a disservice, Ben,’ she said. ‘Now. Let me see. First of all, were you aware of the big Westinghouse scandal out there last year?’
‘I may have seen something about it.’
She held up a newspaper clipping. ‘In case you hadn’t.’
‘I had.’
‘God, it was huge out there. Someone was running for some office and this hit at the same time and the public was all up in arms about white-collar crime blah blah blah and this politician made a great stink about it and people were going to jail left, right and center . . .’
‘Nan.’
‘Yes, Ben.’
‘Get to the point, whatever the hell it is.’
‘You know about insider trading,’ she said.
‘Know about it?’
‘What it is.’
‘Yes.’
‘So we won’t worry about this then,’ she said, putting down the clipping. ‘From the Los Angeles Times. Reviewing the whole history of the matter, but also giving a good definition, I thought, of what insider trading is, in case you didn’t know. But as you say, you do.’
‘The point!’
She looked at him a moment. ‘It doesn’t make me go faster, Ben, to raise your voice.’
‘Well what does make you go faster?’
‘To lower it.’
‘Get to the fucking point,’ he whispered.
She held up another piece of paper. ‘This is my Certificate of Sale for the stocks. I wasn’t going to leave it with you, I just thought you’d like to see it, but you know now I’m thinking it might be useful for you to keep this too.’
‘Nan, why are you showing me all this shit?’
‘Well let’s not call it that.’
‘Just get on to the letter, Nan, whatever the hell that is.’
‘The letter,’ she said, looking at it on her knee. After a moment she picked it up and held it between them. ‘Ben, why in hell the idiot would ever put something like this in writing will for ever and ever remain a mystery to me. A highly intelligent man. A reputable broker, at least as far as anyone was concerned. A big firm.’ She shrugged. ‘Love turns some men’s minds to mush. That’s the only way I can explain it.’
‘Nan.’
‘You want me to read the letter now.’
‘With great haste, if that’s what you feel you need to do.’
‘Yes.’ She looked at it a moment, then unfolded the piece of stationery. ‘I’ll start at the beginning.’
‘Just start.’
‘Well I say that, Ben, because it’s a little embarrassing. But it does give some context.’ She cleared her throat and looked down at it. ‘“My dearest little skunk”.’ She looked up again. ‘Ben, you know I never for the life of me could understand why he liked to call me that so much. I always washed for the man.’
‘Read,’ Benjamin whispered.
Her eyes returned to the letter. ‘“My dearest little skunk, I’m about to make you a very very happy woman, but not in the way I usually do.”’ She continued reading it, although no longer aloud.
‘Nan.’
‘You know what,’ she said finally, folding it and returning it to its envelope. ‘I’ve decided just to summarize it for you. You’ll have plenty of time to read it for yourself if I leave it with you.’
‘Summarize with alacrity, Nan,’ he whispered.
She closed the envelope’s flap. ‘Well, in a nutshell, Ben, two days before the bottom fell out of Westinghouse, the man told me to sell all my shares – I had a mountain of them. Which I did. And walked away with over a hundred thousand dollars.’
‘Congratulations.’
‘Then a week or so later, all that horseshit started hitting the fan out there. Well Ben, we were sweating bullets, as you can imagine. But somehow he kept me out of it. Finagled his books in some way, God knows how. I mean the man really is brilliant, Ben, I will say that for him, even though his mind is mush.’ She shrugged. ‘But he did something with numbers and somehow the whole storm passed right over my head.’
Benjamin nodded. ‘Is that it then?’
‘Ben, if you keep interrupting we’ll never get through it.’
Benjamin reached up and pinched his lips together.
‘Where was I now? Oh yes. So after we broke up, the man went into a complete and utter tailspin over this.’ She waved the letter. ‘I mean, I thought he was going to have a nervous breakdown over it. I’m not making that up. “Find it!” In the middle of the night. Seriously. In the middle of the goddamn night. I told him I’d lost it. “Find it! Jesus Christ, you have to find it! Don’t stop looking for it until you find it!” Well I finally told him I’d found it and burned it. “Burned it! Oh God! I told you to give it back to me! Not destroy it!” What it was, Ben, he thought I might just pretend to destroy it. Which of course is what I did.’ She looked back at the letter. ‘I wasn’t his little skunk any more at that point.’
‘Finished?’ Benjamin said.
‘Well yes, in a way,’ she said, ‘but we haven’t decided whether I’m going to leave it with you or not.’
‘We have.’
‘Judging by the other prison terms they were handing out, he’d probably get fifteen years and I’d get ten or so. I mean, Ben, it was an absolute frenzy out there. I kid you not. And I’m quite sure they’d feel they had to be consistent if anything about this popped up again, even though it’s all blown over by now in the press.’
Benjamin watched her pick up the other papers. ‘If you don’t need any help downstairs,’ he said, ‘I’ll call the cab.’
‘But really,’ she said, ‘can you believe ten years?’ Not looking away from him she reached down to push the papers back into her purse beside the sofa. ‘For selling a few shitty little shares when you feel like it?’ She got to her feet. ‘Sometimes I have to ask myself – what is this world coming to?’ She reached down to her hip to unfasten the clasp of the skirt she was wearing. ‘By the way,’ she said, letting the skirt drop around her legs to the floor, ‘this isn’t what it looks like.’ She stepped out of the skirt. ‘But I mean for ten years you’d think they’d at least let you do something interesting,’ she said, bending down to close her purse and pick up the skirt. ‘Like poison somebody.’ She carried the purse and skirt across the room to put on the small table. ‘This isn’t what it looks like,’ she said again, unbuttoning her blouse.
Benjamin stood looking at her from across the room.
‘You look a little pale, Ben.’ After removing the blouse and resting it on the other things, she reached behind herself to unfasten the clasp of her bra.
‘Don’t do this.’
She bent forward slightly to let the straps of the bra fall down over her arms. ‘Well it’s your climate of course. Everyone back here looks pale.’ She set the bra on the table and pushed her panties down over her legs and stepped out of them. ‘The four of you really need to come out for a visit the first chance you get and soak up some of our good California sunshine.’
‘I will run out of this house,’ Benjamin said.
‘You’ll what?’
‘Run out of this house.’
She put the panties on the table.
‘Put them back on.’
‘Ben, how many times do I have to tell you this isn’t what it looks like.’
‘It’s what it looks like,’ he said.
‘Well it’s not. But I can see how you’d get that impression.’
‘I’m running out of this house now,’ he said, starting toward the door.
‘Ben, will you please let me explain what’s happening here?’
‘I know what’s happening here.’
‘Well obviously you don’t.’
‘I can’t believe this.’
‘Well I can’t either. A fully grown man threatening to run out of his house.’
‘I cannot fucking believe this is happening.’
‘Elaine must have been the one I mentioned this to,’ she said, shaking her head and then running her fingers through her hair. ‘You must not have been there.’
‘I’m running.’
‘Ben, I’ve stopped wearing anything when I’m at home now, that’s all this is. One day it just hit me – why in hell am I going around wrapped up in cloth and elastic all day, uncomfortable as a mummy? It’s my own home, for Christ sake, I’ll do what I want in it.’
He watched her bend down to remove one of her shoes.
‘So I turned up the thermostat and off they came.’ She removed the other shoe. ‘And I haven’t had a stitch on since that day. At home, that is. I’m still a bit reticent at the supermarket.’ She placed the two shoes side by side on the floor. ‘Want to hear a funny story? You’ll love this, Ben. When I started taking it off around the house, a year or so ago, this little Costa Rican cleaning lady was coming in once a week, and the first day she came in when I was au naturel we’d be going back and forth around the house and every time we’d pass she’d give me this dark, disapproving look.’ Nan turned her arm so that she could look down at one of her elbows, then brushed it off. ‘I felt like saying, “Well fuck you, please, I live here.” But of course I don’t speak Spanish – well, “Clean this again,” that’s about it.’ She looked back at Benjamin. ‘So then the next week she comes in again, still lurking around all day with her little dust rag and scowling looks, but after she’s gone I go in my bedroom and there’s this Bible resting on the table.’ Nan laughed. ‘Is that a classic?’ When she finished laughing she lowered her gaze back to Benjamin. ‘So you see there’s no need for anyone to run out of their house.’
He looked back at her without speaking.
‘Is there?’
Still he didn’t answer.
‘Is there?’ she said again.
‘Nan,’ he said.
‘Yes, Ben.’
‘I’m not going to run out of my house.’
‘Well I hope not.’
‘There’s no need to.’
‘I never thought there was.’
‘What there’s a need for,’ he said, ‘is for you to get something out of your head I can’t believe is in it.’
Nan put her hands under her breasts and lifted them slightly. ‘Not to embarrass you, Ben, but how do you think I’ve held up over the years?’
‘Did you hear what I said?’
She looked down at one of the breasts in her hand. ‘I get the feeling you don’t want to tell me how you think I’ve held up.’
‘That feeling is accurate.’
‘Well if you change your mind,’ she said, ‘all I ask is that somewhere in your answer you include the words “not” and “sagging”.’
‘From the very beginning this is something you’ve been planning,’ he said.
‘What is, darling?’
‘From the minute you got here. From before you got here. Nan, may I just think for a moment?’
‘Think?’
‘For a moment.’
She shrugged. ‘Of course. I’m thinking’s biggest fan.’
Benjamin pushed his hands down into his pockets and looked at the floor.
‘I guess thinking and talking at the same time isn’t an option.’
He kept his eyes on the floor.
‘Yes, well that’s what the study said.’
‘You’re making this a fucking condition,’ he said finally, looking up.
‘You actually think you can make sex a condition for your leaving.’
She looked back at him a moment. ‘Did somebody say sex?’
Benjamin began shaking his head. ‘You are beyond depraved, Mrs Robinson.’
She smiled.
‘Nan.’
It was quiet for a few moments.
‘Okay,’ he said, removing his hands from his pockets, ‘let me think.’
‘You already did that.’
‘So what’s that all about?’ he said, pointing at the purse on the table.
‘My purse?’
‘Some goddamn letter from a stockbroker.’
‘That’s for you to have afterwards.’
‘There’s not going to be any fucking “afterwards”, Nan. But what kind of twisted thing is that all about?’
‘The letter?’
‘The letter.’
‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘For one thing, it could send me to jail.’
He lowered his arm. ‘And you’re going to leave it with me.’
‘Afterwards.’
‘Why?’
She shrugged. ‘A keepsake.’
‘Ben, do you want to hear another funny cleaning-lady story?’
‘One funny cleaning-lady story a day is my quota.’ He looked back at the table.
‘Different cleaning lady. This one’s even funnier.’
‘Okay, you’re going to leave a self-incriminatory letter with me.’
‘Ben, this will lighten the mood.’
‘Why would you want to do that?’
‘What happened was that she locked herself inside my car. It’s one of those new automatic self-locking things and you can open it from the inside but you have to know how. Which she didn’t.’
‘No more cleaning-lady howlers, Nan.’
‘Ben, try to picture this.’
‘I need to picture what the letter’s about.’
‘Okay, I sent her out to empty my ashtray and she locked herself inside. It was a rainy day and the car windows were all steamed up.’
He frowned, continuing to look at her purse.
‘And when I went out to see what was taking so long she’d written “Help” on the inside of one of the windows.’
‘Wait a minute,’ Benjamin said.
‘But she was dumb as a box of rocks,’ Nan said, ‘so she’d written it the right way around for her, but from the outside you couldn’t read it.’
‘So you won’t tell Elaine,’ he said, looking back at her.
‘Tell Elaine what?’
‘About what?’
‘If I have the letter to hold over your head I can be sure you’ll never tell Elaine,’ he said. ‘That’s it, isn’t it?’
‘More or less.’
‘You’ll put me in a position to blackmail you.’
‘Well who gave me that idea?’ she said.
‘What?’
‘Why was I summoned back here?’
Benjamin shook his head. ‘Now where are we going?’
‘I figured . . . you know . . . a school principal for openers. Maybe he’d like to throw a mother-in-law into the mix.’
‘That’s slightly different.’
She shrugged. ‘If you say so.’
Benjamin held up his hand. ‘Let’s stay on the subject. Okay. Now in what passes for your mind the only conceivable reason I wouldn’t have sex with you is that Elaine might find out about it. And if I don’t have to worry about that, off come the pants.’
‘Or just drop them down,’ she said. ‘I don’t want to make too big a thing of it.’
‘But there isn’t any other reason I wouldn’t do it.’
‘Than Elaine finding out? I doubt it.’
‘My feelings for her would of course not stop me.’
‘They might slow you down.’
‘But I’d want you out of here so badly I’d override them.’
‘Our lives have been turned into such shit that when presented with this simple way of everything going back to normal, in your mind there’s no way I’ll be able to turn it down.’
‘I’d kill for a cigarette right now,’ she said. ‘I suppose your and Elaine’s policy about smoking in the house are the same. Well, we can discuss that when she’s gone.’
‘So what we have here is that the only way I’m going to get my wife back is to be unfaithful to her.’
‘We have that.’
‘That’s not what we have here,’ he said.
‘I think you’ll find it is.’
‘No, because you can plant yourself here and my family can break up and the years can pass and the world can finally come to an end and it still won’t happen.’
‘That you fuck me.’
‘That I fuck you.’
‘I guess we’ll have to see.’
‘You’ll have to see,’ Benjamin said. ‘I already know.’
They stood looking at each other a few moments, then Benjamin held out his hand.
‘What,’ she said.
‘Did you want to shake hands?’
‘Not particularly. I had a little more than that in mind.’
‘We’re saying goodbye now, Nan.’
‘Who is?’
‘You and I.’
‘I’m not going anywhere,’ she said.
‘You’re leaving?’
‘No, I’m not going anywhere either.’
‘Then what’s this,’ she said, nodding at his hand.
‘We’re saying goodbye now,’ he said again.
‘But no one’s going anywhere.’
‘No one is, no.’
‘Ben, this sounds a little ominous.’
‘Goodbye, Nan.’ He lowered his hand.
‘Jesus, you make it sound like you’re about to go in and get out the carving knife.’
Benjamin stepped to the large bay window at the front of the room. Across the street, Ted Rigney and several of Benjamin’s other neighbors were gathered in front of the Rigneys’ garage. One of them was holding a small device in his hand and pointing it at the garage as they all watched the garage door go slowly up. When the garage was all the way open, he handed the device to the next neighbor, who pointed it at the garage, and then they all watched as the door slowly came back down again. The next neighbor took the device.
Benjamin turned away from the window.
‘So where do we go from here?’ Nan said.
When the Braddocks had moved into Elaine’s father’s house they had cleared out all his furniture and replaced it with things that were more to their own taste, but there was one piece, a high-backed chair, which Elaine had wanted to keep as a way of having something of her father’s always before them to remember him by.
Benjamin walked over to the chair, which was in the far corner of the room, and seated himself.
‘You and Elaine have done such cute things with this room,’ she said. ‘I want to leave it just the way it is. But that thing goes out on the curb for the first collection.’
He looked back at her but didn’t answer.
‘The chair,’ she said.
He continued to look at her but didn’t respond.
‘I had to look at that eyesore for twenty-three years, Ben, and I don’t think I sat in it once. In fact I know I didn’t.’
On the floor in front of the chair was a small round throw rug. Nan looked down at it. ‘Good idea, Ben. Let’s both take a load off.’ She lowered herself down onto the rug, then stretched out her legs, putting her arms behind her and leaning back on them. ‘So how will it work then, Ben?’ she said. ‘I mean, will I stay down below? Or will you let me move up to one of the boy’s rooms? I really do love my cozy little nook, but even after it was painted baby blue I still have to say I find cinder blocks a tad forbidding.’ She looked at one of her feet, moving it slowly in a circle. ‘And of course no window. I’m sure you don’t want your star boarder coming down with a case of claustrophobia.’
Benjamin made no response.
‘You don’t want that, do you Ben?’ she said, looking up at him.
There was the sound of a car passing in the street.
‘Ben?’
When again he failed to answer, even though looking evenly back at her as she spoke, she turned her eyes upward and said, ‘Oh dear, I think I’m getting the silent treatment.’
But he made no response to that comment either.
The chair Elaine had kept from her father’s belongings was one, she knew, that also had come down to him from his own parents, and so not only did she feel it was important in that it would keep her father in their minds, she felt it was significant also – incongruous as it appeared among the present-day furnishings that surrounded it – that the generation of her grandparents also was represented to them in this way as they went about their daily lives.
It was several minutes before Nan spoke again.
‘Do you keep in touch with your parents, Ben?’
He looked down at the thick wooden arm of the chair and at a pattern of leaves and flowers that was carved into the dark polished wood.
‘I know your mother had that terrible breakdown after our little – what should I call it? – fling I guess is the best word, and I heard they moved up to Idaho. But they just fell off the map as far as I was concerned.’ Her foot became still. ‘We were always so close, weren’t we, the two families. Ben, do you remember that summer – you probably won’t, you must have been Matt’s age – but our two families rented a beach house together.’ She frowned. ‘Where was that – Laguna, that was it. And the families would take turns going down during the summer months to use it. But one weekend – I think it was someone’s birthday, your father’s it must have been, but we were all down there together, one hot Saturday afternoon – we’d all carried our baskets and umbrellas and everything down to the sand. And I remember how you and Elaine kept running down to the ocean, and you were trying to make this crown for her.’ She laughed. ‘Out of sand. This dripping wet sand. And you’d both come walking back up to where we were all sitting on our towels to show us, little Elaine walking very straight to try and keep it from falling off. But every time the two of you got back the sand had slid down over her hair and onto her shoulders – it was so sweet, the two of you coming back to show us time and again, and each time the wet sand from the crown all down over her eyes and face, the two of you had us all in stitches. I have a picture of that somewhere, Ben, I’ll have to see if I can dig it out. But I’m sure you wouldn’t remember. Actually, I think you might have been younger than Matt then. Do you have any recollection of that summer?’
Benjamin was studying the back of his hand as it rested on the arm of the chair.
‘And then it all seemed such a shame somehow, didn’t it?’ Nan said, again looking up at the ceiling. ‘What happened later. Such a waste.’ She smiled as she looked back down at him. ‘Well, you be sure and give them my love next time you talk, won’t you?’
But Benjamin said nothing.
For an hour Benjamin remained in the chair with Nan several yards away from him on the round rug on the floor. At first she sat with her arms behind herself, leaning back against her hands, but then she lay down on her back, opening her legs towards him in a V, sometimes bending them at the knees to slowly open and close as she lay looking up at the ceiling. Finally she turned on her side, propping herself up on an elbow and running her finger around in little circles and other designs on the wooden floor beside her.
When the hour had nearly passed she looked up and said, ‘Tell you what, Ben. Maybe we’ve accomplished all we can on this visit. We’ve broken the ice again after all these years. Such a good time I’ve had, getting reacqainted with my little angels. Elaine needs some time now to get her feet back on the ground, and I’m afraid my poor geraniums must be missing me terribly. So why don’t I call a cab now, and we’ll all pat ourselves on the back for making the brand-new start you wanted us to make when I first got here?’
But he made no response.
‘How does that sound, Ben?’
Again he said nothing.
‘Ben?’
He kept his eyes on the floor.
Then at last she got to her feet.
‘God,’ she said, walking across the room toward the kitchen, ‘I’d forgotten what a smug little self-righteous arrogant bastard you always were.’ She went through the doorway, looking up at a list of numbers that were Scotch-taped onto the wall beside the phone, then dialled one of them. ‘I need a taxi for JFK,’ she said. There was a pause. ‘In Hastings. Let me get the number here for you.’ She stepped back so she could look out at Benjamin again. ‘Ben, what number are you here on Willard?’
He looked at her without speaking.
‘Your house number. I’m on the phone with the taxi.’
He continued silently to look back at her.
‘Ben, give me the damn address.’
When he still didn’t answer she put her hand over the mouthpiece of the receiver and took a step into the living room. ‘If you want me the fuck out of here so badly, give me your goddamn address so I can tell the taxi where to come.’
It was almost a full minute that Benjamin sat looking quietly back at her as she glared at him from the doorway.
Then finally she stepped back into the kitchen, removing her hand from the mouthpiece and returning the receiver to her face.
‘Are you still there?’ she said. ‘I’m at one fifty-two Willard Avenue.’
When she was gone, Benjamin went down to see that she had taken everything with her, and except for the headless horseman statue in the corner nothing had been left behind. He stood a few moments looking at the unmade bed, stepping to the toilet and jiggling its handle till the sound of running water stopped. Then he went back out of the room, pulling the door tightly shut behind him.
While they had been down beside the river, Nefertiti had picked some wildflowers, and she came running in through the front door with them when they got back. ‘These are for Nan,’ she said, holding them out to show Benjamin, sitting on the arm of the sofa.
‘They’re pretty,’ Benjamin said. ‘Nan had to go back to California.’
Goya came in next. ‘Go find Nan and give her the flowers, Neff.’
‘She went back to California.’
Goya looked over at Benjamin.
‘She was feeling homesick.’
‘What did you say to her?’ Goya said.
‘She wanted me to tell you how sorry—’
‘What the fuck did you say to her? She would not leave without saying goodbye to Neffi.’
‘Goya,’ Benjamin said, standing.
‘Tell me what you said to her.’
‘Basically, goodbye.’
‘And what else?’
Nefertiti had dropped the flowers, and was looking down at the floor. Goya went over to put her arms around her.
‘Listen. Do you need any help getting your things together?’
‘There’s something terribly dark in this house, Benjamin.’
He nodded. ‘Okay, but if you don’t need a hand I might go out for a walk.’
‘Something terribly, terribly sinister.’
‘I won’t be long.’
Goya clutched her daughter more tightly against her as he went past them.
Garth didn’t come inside when he returned from the city, but just climbed in through the open side of the van, which was parked in the driveway, and went to sleep on the back seat. Their belongings had already been carried out. Nefertiti and her mother sat in the van’s open side door, awaiting the return of Aaron.
As she parked at the curb, Elaine instructed Matt and Jason to wait in the car. She walked up over the grass and inside.
Benjamin was again seated on the arm of the sofa.
‘Gone?’ she said.
‘And forgotten.’
Elaine looked at him another moment, then turned back toward the open front door and motioned for their sons to come in.
Goya was backing the van out the driveway and into the street as Matt and Jason walked up across the lawn, but nobody waved.
‘So how was the movie?’ their father said as they came in.
‘Didn’t notice,’ Matt said. ‘All we did was keep changing seats. Invisible space creatures kept sitting down beside us.’
They walked to the stairs.
‘Well I hope you didn’t let Aaron spoil the show for you,’ Benjamin said.
Jason started up the stairs ahead of his brother. ‘What are guests for, Dad?’
Benjamin looked over at his wife. Slightly slumped, she was standing in the middle of the room.
‘It’s over,’ he said.
She shook her head.
‘It’ll take a day or two to sink in,’ he said. ‘But it’s all over.’
‘It’s not over,’ Elaine said, looking up at him. ‘Forget the three thousand miles. She’s here to stay now. Lodged in our house and in our lives and in our brains.’
‘Elaine, the movie’s over.’
‘Christmas will be first,’ Elaine said, ‘if she can wait that long.’
He reached for her hand but she pulled it away.
‘You don’t get it yet, Benjamin. But you will.’
‘Come upstairs and lie down.’
‘Will you ever!’ She walked over to remove a crust of bread from the windowsill.
‘Do that later.’
‘As we speak, her next move is being planned.’ She bent down to pick up an empty cup from the floor.
‘That can wait.’
‘I know her!’ Elaine said, straightening up to stare at him.
‘All right. But if problems start up we’ll just put the old plan back into place.’
‘How?’
‘What?’
‘How can the old plan be put in place now?’
‘Why can’t it?’
‘Because we invited her here, Benjamin! We put in a room for her. Do you think the attorneys will pay any attention to us now?’
‘We’ll just tell them she started fucking our other guests in the room we put in for her.’
‘Go upstairs,’ Elaine said, carrying the crust and cup across the room.
‘Will you be up?’
‘Yes.’
‘When?’
‘Five minutes.’
‘Promise?’
‘I promise.’
‘And promise you’ll put her out of your mind.’
‘Until when?’ Elaine said, turning to look at him again. ‘Until the phone call comes from California tomorrow to say she made it back all right?’
‘I don’t think she’ll call.’
‘Oh Benjamin.’
‘Elaine,’ he said, ‘you need to put her out of your mind now.’
‘But will you try?’
She went into the kitchen.
‘Elaine?’
‘I will try to put her out of mind,’ she called, ‘even though there is no possibility of that happening, so that you will go upstairs and leave me alone.’
‘Five minutes?’
‘Yes.’
There were bowls and plates and silverware piled up in the sink. She closed the drain and squirted some cleaning liquid on them and turned on the hot water, waiting till it had covered them before turning it off again. Empty paper and plastic containers filled the trash basket beside her, several of them having fallen out of the overflowing basket and onto the floor. She pushed them down on top of the rest of the trash. On its side on a shelf was an empty peanut-butter jar with a spoon sticking out of it, and next to it an open carton of eggs, and even though two of the eggs were broken in the carton, with their yolks soaked into the cardboard, Elaine closed it to put into the refrigerator. On a refrigerator shelf a dish was turned upside down and cottage cheese had spilled down through the shelf onto a package of hot dogs below. She closed the refrigerator, standing a moment looking up at the ceiling, then at a cantaloupe rind on another shelf, in some corn flakes that had spilled out of a cereal box. She turned her eyes back up to the ceiling. ‘Fuck it all!!’
A few moments later, wiping at the corner of one of her eyes, Elaine left the room and was about to start up the stairs when her attention was caught by the corner of a small blue envelope coming out from under the sofa. She walked over to see what it was, picking it up and removing a folded sheet of stationery from it as she took it back across the room.
‘Benjamin?’ she said, reading it as she slowly climbed the stairs. ‘Do you know what this is?’
In fact a call did come in from California the next day, and Elaine was the one who took it. ‘Darling?’ her mother said as the call was ending. ‘There’s something I’ve misplaced. It may have fallen out in the taxi, or maybe on the plane.’
‘It fell out here,’ Elaine said.
There was a silence.
‘Well I’m not sure you know what I’m referring to.’
‘By the living-room sofa.’
Again there was a silence.
‘But dear, I’m still not sure if you know exactly what . . .’
‘I do.’
Again it was quiet.
‘Well can you tell me what it is?’
‘You know what it is. Mother, I think it’s best for everyone if we don’t plan to hear from you again.’
‘Hear from me again?’
‘Never hear from me again?’
‘Don’t you think that’s best too?’
‘Well of course I don’t, darling.’
But they never did.