Max had finally kissed her and the experience made him wish he’d done it sooner. Renata was just the right height for him to hold. He didn’t have to lean down too far and she didn’t have to go too far up. She tasted like lime lip gloss and bourbon. An enticing combination he wanted to sample again.
From the doorway, he tried not to stare, to not let what happened bother him. At least the distance between them would make things easier. He checked his watch. It was almost one. The temptation to tell her the time was there, but he let it go. He’d just worry her.
“I’m still thirsty.” Renata opened a bottle of red and poured them both glasses. “Dancing Bear Ranch Red. A deal at one-fifty.”
“Cha-ching on our bill,” he said, making a check mark in the air.
She swirled the wine in the glass and then took a long drink. He watched the way her lips pressed against the rim and tried not to imagine those lips on him.
“The ambience is pleasant,” she said. “Not the chill, but everything else is top-notch.” She walked over to the wall to touch some of the intricate carvings while he stared at her.
“Yes, it is.” He took a step in her direction. The curve of her back called to him.
She continued to face the wall while he watched her. The muscles in her shoulders flexed and his fingertips itched to touch her. To knead her skin and then run his mouth from the nape of her neck to where her zipper waited to be brought down.
“What are you doing, Max?” she whispered.
“Nothing,” his voice was thick. He damn well wanted to do something.
“I like us the way we are. This isn’t the time or the place to go down this road.”
“What you mean is I’m not the man you want to go down this road with?”
Her shoulders stiffened and her hands dropped. “We just kissed. That’s all.”
“It’s always been that easy for you, huh?” He wanted her to turn around and face him, but she didn’t. “Do you remember the night when we made the bet?”
She trembled, but didn’t speak.
“In the back of my mind, I always see you standing outside the club, against the wall like you are now. You held on to the wall like it was the only thing in the world capable of supporting you. When I asked you what was wrong, you didn’t say anything. I’ve always wondered why you looked so heartbroken that night,” he said.
That night she wore a tank top and cutoff jean shorts. Her long legs jutted out and she was so beautiful. “I’m glad I was there with you that night. That’s what best friends do, anyway.” He shifted his weight from one leg to the other. “You still didn’t speak when we stopped at a diner for soup or when we went back to my house and sat on the porch. Do you remember that?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“All these years and you’ve never told me. It seemed best at the time to let it go, but I still wonder. Your boyfriend should’ve been with you that night, but he wasn’t. I was. I was always there.” He reached a hand up and it rested inches from her skin. He sensed the heat from her body.
“So you made a dumb bet with me because I looked sad and alone after a breakup?” she asked. “I remember. Whoever gets married first pays for our baseball season tickets for life.”
“Seemed like a nice thing to say at the time to make you smile. And give you hope.”
“Does it matter?” she whispered. “I didn’t want your pity at the time or your help. I just wanted to find a Costco-sized bag of Oreos and some time alone to enjoy my pain.” She tried to laugh, but the situation didn’t feel funny.
“The pain of not being in love anymore? You wanted that? Is that why you’re pushing me away?”
“Just don’t, Max.”
“Or maybe I’m just telling the truth. You’re not even telling me what’s up.”
“You know why we can’t be more than friends.”
“Educate me then. Tell me why I’m not the kind of man you want.”
“I don’t want to ruin our friendship. What we have is too good to mess up with complicated feelings like love.”
He twisted her around to face him.
“You need to do better than that.” He gently grasped her shoulders to back her against the wall.
“I’ve never been . . . attracted to you. Like that.” She avoided his eyes, staring at something over his shoulder.
“So you didn’t feel anything when we kissed?”
“Don’t feel insulted. I’m that way with most guys.” Was that a lie he spotted in her eyes? Like in the past when they fought, she probably wanted to give him vehemence, but he sensed something else under the layers.
“You used to love the idea of being in love,” Max whispered. “Of giving everything to someone, but something happened to you the night we made the bet. That night you had no intention of finding someone new ever again.” His jaw clenched. “I had every intention of telling you that I wanted us both to win the bet and find love.”
“Things change, Max. People change.”
“Don’t use that excuse to push me away.”
Her gaze flicked up to his. He sensed what was coming and steeled himself for the blow. “Just stop it,” she whispered. “What we have is amazing. Our lunch dates. Happy hour at the Icehouse Tavern on Thursdays. Baseball Saturdays with the guys. You’re one of the best things in my life. I don’t want to fall in love with you and then have to let you go.”