The first thing to hit Emily as she plunged sideways into the water was the cold. It was paralysing, as if her body had immediately turned to ice on impact. She went under, face slapping against the surface before sinking into darkness.
Above her, the boat capsized, creating an umbrella of inky blackness that blotted out the moon and the stars. As she’d been tumbling towards the water, Emily’s lungs had had the good sense to suck in a deep breath. Now, pressure began to build in the centre of her chest.
As she sank deeper, she had the impression of falling in slow motion through a dream. None of this was real. She would wake up at any moment and realise she’d been in the grip of yet another nightmare. But as her senses kicked in, as the icy water bit into her limbs, Emily instantly became aware of where she was and what was happening to her.
Her first instinct was to kick her legs, but her legs wouldn’t move. Her second instinct was to scream, but screaming beneath a lake would result in lungsful of water. The pressure in her chest grew. She could feel the weight of the entire lake pressing down on her sternum. She tried to move her arms, to bend her knees, but the darkness had taken hold of her limbs and would not let go.
Emily sank further. She could hear pounding in her ears like a timpani; an ominous, deep rumble that began slowly at first but was now increasing in speed and intensity. The pressure on her chest grew unbearable, threatening to fracture her breastplate. She just needed to breathe. To open her mouth and suck in lifesaving air.
The darkness around her began to change colour, from black to yellow to red. From it, a familiar face appeared. Young, haunted eyes watched her. Phillip Gerard. Why was she seeing him now? She tried to reach out a hand, to stroke his face, to wish him peace. But his face had already disappeared into the murk.
Her lungs were going to explode. Her body usurped control from her mind. Her mouth opened. The lake flooded in.
She could feel life releasing its hold on her. Or was she relenting, giving up? Months ago, she would have happily allowed the water to take her, for her body to rot away on the lakebed until it was nothing more than algae-covered bones. But things had changed. The thrashing of her heart reminded her so. She had made peace with Phillip Gerard’s ghost. She had said a final goodbye to her mother. She had let the past die inside of her so that the present could live. Was she really going to throw it all away now just to be fish food at the bottom of a lake?
Regaining control of her body, Emily brought her knees up to her chest. She flapped her arms and kicked with all of her strength, propelling herself upwards. She repeated the movement, flapping like an underwater bird, legs bucking like a dolphin’s tail. Up she went, the last of her breath shooting from her nostrils in tiny bubbles. Her clothes and shoes acted against her, trying to drag her back down. But Emily kicked and she flapped and she wriggled.
She erupted on the surface in a froth of water, limbs, and painful gasps. She went under again. She thrust her arms, broke the surface and spun around. The upturned boat was inches from her. With a cry, she lunged towards it. Her palms slapped against fibreglass. Her fingers scrabbled against the round, slippery hull. There was nothing to hold onto.
“No!” She went under again.
Her strength gone, she sank like a stone. Her arms flailed above her head for a moment longer. Then they were still, trailing behind her like streamers. She was going to die down here after all. Water filled her insides until she became liquid, until she and the lake were one. The pressure in her chest floated away. Then there was darkness. Darkness everywhere.