1980s

NADIA AHIDJO-IYA

My siblings and I never realized how much we all look like our mother, Denise, until we saw this picture of her: recently married and in her last year of college. We see ourselves in her eyes and mouth. We all carry a part of her, and in this photo, we see ourselves. But we also see her. She seems at once curious and shy, as if she couldn’t wait for what life had in store but was also unsure of what lay ahead. It’s like she hasn’t figured out who she is yet. It’s quite a contrast to who she is now: all confidence, sass, and joie de vivre. I want to go back in time to this moment and ask her what her dreams and aspirations were and what she wished she knew then. This is just a photo, but it’s a reminder that no one is born a mother. We are all on a journey to learn and grow into ourselves over time. It is also a reminder that we don’t have to have it all figured out by a certain age. And that the most important thing is to do everything with honesty, grace, and joy. This is who my mother was then (timidly so) and who she is now (loudly so): complex, a little haunting, and full of love and light.