ISLA DIDN’T SLEEP WELL that night and by the time dawn crept around, she was still tossing and turning in her bed.
She couldn’t get the fierce gleam in Orion’s eyes when he’d looked down at her in the hallway the night before out of her head. She’d only wanted to make sure that her teasing comment in the helicopter hadn’t hurt him, which seemed ridiculous in retrospect since he seemed to be a man impervious to something as small as mere hurt.
The trip to the volcano had been a revelation, and she’d loved every second of it. The adrenaline rush of standing on the edge of a lava flow and listening to the geologist explain the workings of a volcano and how new rocks were made had been incredible. There had been so many things she’d wanted to know, so many colours to take in, the landscape around her in all its textures so fascinating.
It made such a change from the boardroom, and she’d got carried away in her excitement on the way back, thoughtlessly teasing Orion about his problems, because she’d never imagined a man like him would have any. Yet the sharpness of his response had brought her up short. She hadn’t wanted to ruin the day by saying something careless, so in the hallway she’d only wanted to apologise.
Then he’d looked down at her and the heat in his eyes had locked the breath in her throat. As had the anger.
She hadn’t realised he’d still wanted her, yet it was clear that he did. And badly. Except he wasn’t going to take her. This time he wanted her to give herself to him.
Some part of her was thrilled at being such a test for his control, while another part was amazed that he was holding himself back from taking what he wanted.
She sighed and rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling. The ferocious heat in his gaze, yet the rigid way he’d held himself in check had been an intoxicating combination. And far from making her not want to touch him, it made her want to keep touching him more. To push him, see how far she could take things before he broke...
‘I want it to be a gift you give to me.’
Ah, but no, she couldn’t push him. It wouldn’t be right, not after he’d said that to her. Not now that he saw her as a gift to be given rather than a thing to take. It thrilled her down to the bone.
Twice she’d been chosen by people, and twice they’d regretted that choice. The first time she’d been returned like a pet no one had wanted and the second time, well... She hadn’t been returned by David yet, but she was still under review. Her performance had been lacking, she knew it.
You were stupid to expect more from him. You weren’t adopted, you were hired.
It was true. David had never acted as though he was her father. Right from the first day she’d come home with him, he’d been emotionally distant. All he’d ever wanted from her were excellent marks at school and then honours at university, which she’d given him. She hadn’t known any other way to earn his approval and she still didn’t.
Why do you even want his approval?
She wasn’t sure. Maybe it was simply that his approval was better than his disappointment, and she had never been able to bear that.
Not that she wanted to think of David. It was Orion and how she was going to deal with him today that mattered.
You didn’t want to sleep with him again. You were very clear.
It was true, yet she couldn’t deny how her body reacted to the thought of being in his arms again. The dragging ache between her thighs and the excitement that crowded in her throat. The way every muscle tightened with anticipation whenever he got close.
Yesterday, on the tour, she’d stumbled and he’d slid an arm around her, anchoring her against his hard, powerful body. The shock of his warmth and the reassuring strength in his grip had unsettled her so much all she’d been able to do was pat his arm and step away as quickly as she could just to get her breath back.
Perhaps it was a reckless thing to contemplate, but would it be so very bad to offer herself to him? To give him the gift he wanted? Especially since she wanted him every bit as badly as he wanted her.
After all, she’d already had one night with him and nothing bad had happened afterwards. Her control over herself hadn’t magically vanished just because she’d given in to passion. Was another night really such a risk?
Not finding any answers, eventually Isla hauled herself out of bed and got dressed. Then she found her camera from yesterday and went through the photos she’d taken, pleased with the shots. The stark, wild beauty of the Icelandic mountains and all that fire and ice set something vibrating deep inside her. And what had Orion told her in the helicopter on the way back? He’d spoken about nature’s power and how it put things in perspective.
She’d liked his response. That he, a powerful man supremely in control of himself, could appreciate the untamed nature of the landscape. Not because he wanted to tame it, but because he wanted to get close to it, observe its majesty for himself.
Oh, he was interesting. She wanted to know more of his thoughts on nature and she also wanted to know very much what problems nature put into perspective.
A photo of Orion suddenly popped up on her screen. He was standing on the black rocks, looking at her, a half smile curving his hard, beautiful mouth. His eyes were gleaming in the light from the lava flow and the intensity in his face stole her breath.
He looked fierce, as hard and sharp as the rocks he stood on. As powerful as the volcano that towered over them.
Such a beautiful man, though his wasn’t a conventional beauty. It was something untamed and wild, as primitive as the landscape around him.
He’d given her such an amazing experience, and abruptly she wanted to do something equally amazing for him. Make his gift today one that would surprise and delight him as much as she’d been surprised and delighted the day before.
You know already what you’re going to give him.
Isla put the camera down, her heart thudding. Oh, yes, she knew.
Another night, she decided. He’d wanted her to give him the gift of herself, so she would.
Orion was seated at the table by the time she’d finished dressing and come downstairs in search of breakfast. And once again his presence brought her up short, making her catch her breath.
He didn’t smile at her this morning and he wasn’t sitting with his usual casual posture. He looked tense, his face set in hard lines. ‘Sit,’ he ordered, his deep voice rough sounding. ‘I want to give you today’s present.’
Instinctive irritation at the sharp command prickled over her, but since he didn’t look like he’d slept well, she swallowed her annoyance and did as she was told. They’d had such a lovely day yesterday and she didn’t want to ruin the morning with an argument.
‘You look like you slept as well as I did,’ she observed as she sat down.
He ignored her. It looked like he’d been there a while. An empty plate with a knife and fork arranged neatly on it had been pushed away, a half-drunk cup of coffee at his elbow. ‘My present to you today will be skating on the lake,’ he said shortly.
He’d mentioned that as one of the excursions he’d planned a day or so ago, and then it had sounded fun. Looking at his hard expression now, she wasn’t so certain.
‘Are you sure?’ She kept her voice very neutral. ‘You don’t seem as if you want to go anywhere let alone skating on the lake.’
‘I’m sure.’ He sat back in his chair, his expression still hard. A muscle flicked in his strong jaw, the amber of his eyes darkening, all the bright gold in them gone. He looked as intimidating and ruthless as he ever had.
Was that all because of her? Because he wanted her? Or were there other things at play here? Yesterday, in the helicopter, she’d made that casual comment about his problems and his expression had shuttered in much the same way. Why? Was it because he did have problems and he’d resented her mentioning them? Or was it for another reason? And why did it matter to her?
‘Is this about yesterday?’ she asked carefully. ‘About what you told me in the hallway last night?’
‘No,’ he said coldly. ‘Not everything is about you, Isla.’
Heat crept into her cheeks, a flicker of hurt going through her. She ignored it. ‘That’s not what I meant. I just wanted to know why you’re sitting at the breakfast table looking like you want to break rocks with your teeth.’
‘It’s nothing.’
‘Like it was nothing up in the helicopter yesterday?’
‘Are you really that interested in my moods? I thought you were more interested in your favourite artists.’ There was a hint of bitterness in the words, the way there had been yesterday, and he was radiating frustrated anger. She could feel it pushing at her from across the table like the heat from the lava flow the day before.
‘Are you sulking because I wouldn’t sleep with you?’ she couldn’t help asking, even though she knew confronting him was hardly likely to improve his mood. ‘Is that what this is about?’
For a second he looked so fierce she thought he was going to lose his temper, and it made her own anger rise, pulling at the chains she kept on it. She found herself staring at him almost hoping he would lose it, because she wanted to know what would happen if he did.
He was so controlled, so very in command of himself, and he would have seemed cold if not for that burning intensity in his eyes. There was fire at the heart of him, she realised suddenly. Fire that he couldn’t let out for some reason.
Her heart raced and the strangest anticipation gripped her. And she was back on that volcanic field of yesterday once again, standing on the edge of a lava flow, looking up at the active volcano in terrified wonder as yet more lava flowed down its side.
Yet Orion didn’t explode. Instead, he said. ‘Give me my gift, Isla.’
It wasn’t an answer, but it was most certainly a demand, and while it wasn’t at all wise, Isla suddenly wanted very much to see what it would look like if Mt Orion North erupted.
‘If you’re going to sulk like a giant baby,’ she said coolly. ‘You’ll have to wait for your gift. Skating first and then if you’re very lucky I might give you something.’
Orion was in a foul temper. She was right, he hadn’t slept well. He’d been up half the night, tortured by his desire for a woman he’d decided he wouldn’t touch until she said he could. His vow infuriated him. The way it mattered to him infuriated him.
She infuriated him and he didn’t know why.
Sex was nothing. He could deny himself till the cows came home and it had never bothered him before, and yet now he wanted her so badly it felt as if he couldn’t breathe.
After hours of no sleep, he’d eventually had to get up and go into the lodge’s gym to work out some of his frustration on the treadmill and then the rowing machine. A sauna had then eased the tension from his muscles, but of course, the moment she’d walked into the dining area, that tension had returned, even worse than it had the night before. And he was no closer to figuring out exactly why, hence the foul temper.
Then for her to stare at him coolly over the breakfast table and call him a giant baby... His temper roiled, pushing against his control.
She’s not wrong. You are sulking.
He didn’t appreciate that thought, not at all. Mainly because he knew it was correct. He also knew that if he didn’t get hold of his temper, he’d end up ruining the skating on the lake that he’d planned for today and since he’d nearly ruined the volcano trip the day before, he didn’t want to repeat his mistake.
Instead, he carefully and deliberately slid his chair back and slowly rose to his feet. ‘Once you’ve had breakfast,’ he said in the most neutral tones possible, ‘come and meet me in the entrance hall and we can get geared up.’
Then without sparing her a glance, he left the dining area to prepare.
It was childish of him not to engage and definitely not to apologise, but he had to have some space to leash his hunger otherwise he was in danger of ruining this utterly.
A good half an hour later, Isla appeared, all cool and contained. Which of course made him want to crack her self-possession, put a dent in it somehow, ignite the fire that lit her up from within. But doing that when he was so on edge himself was a terrible idea, so he only handed her a thick white down jacket, a thick white scarf and hat and some gloves without a word.
Once they were both protected from the weather, he took both pairs of skates and led the way outside.
The morning was clear, the sky a deep, endless blue above them, the frigid air making white clouds of their warm breaths. There was a small wooden jetty that projected into the lake and they both sat down on it to put their skates on. He finished with his first and slid smoothly out onto the ice. He’d skated here many times and took pleasure in the solitude of the lake and the silence. He wondered if she too would appreciate that.
Turning, he watched as Isla gingerly put her skates onto the ice and slid out onto it, holding her hands out for balance. She looked adorable all wrapped up in the down jacket. Wisps of golden curls stuck out from under her hat, her scarf wrapped around her neck. She stayed where she was on the ice, still holding her hands out, as if she was afraid to move, and those deep blue eyes of hers were looking at him with trepidation.
‘You haven’t done this before, have you?’ he asked.
She shook her head, and for some reason, the sharp edge of his mood eased.
He wanted her to enjoy this and she wouldn’t if he stayed being angry. It was a gift, after all, and there should be pleasure in being given gifts. Or so he’d heard.
Orion skated over to her and took both her mittened hands in his. ‘Just relax and keep your knees loose. I’m going to pull you along.’ Keeping his grip firm, he began to slowly skate backwards, tugging her along with him.
She didn’t fight him and soon the trepidation had gone from her eyes, and her cool self-possession along with it. She began to smile, her blue gaze sparkling as he went a little faster, giving her a few instructions on how to move, and he found himself smiling back, like a fool. But how could he not? She was irresistible. Glowing with that light he found so bewitching and again, he was the one who’d put it there.
He’d made her happy. Because that’s what this was, wasn’t it? It was happiness.
Don’t worry, you’ll ruin it soon. That’s what you do. You destroy things.
His chest ached at the thought, but he pushed it away. He wanted to concentrate on this moment, not anything else.
‘You’re good at this,’ she said, as they moved over the ice together.
‘I’ve had a lot of practice.’
‘What do you like about it?’
He moved in a slow gliding motion, drawing her along. ‘It’s very quiet and peaceful out on the ice. And sometimes it’s as if you’re the only person in creation.’
‘You like being alone?’
‘I’m always alone,’ he heard himself say. Which was stupid. It revealed far too much about himself that he didn’t want to share.
Yet a look of understanding shifted in her eyes. ‘Me too,’ she said. ‘Since I was a kid.’
He slowed, the conversation more important than the skating all of a sudden. ‘You were in the foster system, weren’t you?’
‘Yes. I was taken in by a family when I was around ten but...well, it didn’t work out. And so I went into a home.’
He watched her face, drawn by the emotions shadowing her blue gaze. He too had been in a home, and he remembered the agony of wanting prospective adoptive parents to like him, to want him, to take him with them, to give him the family he’d always craved. Except they never had. But for her to have had a family only for it to be lost... He knew well what that agony was like.
‘Why didn’t it work out?’ he asked and then, as a thought suddenly occurred to him, bringing with it a wave of protective anger so intense he could hardly breathe, he went on, ‘Were they abusive?’
‘No, nothing like that.’ She glided forward as he moved back, managing to slide around a patch of rough ice. ‘The couple already had a son and they wanted a girl. The son...didn’t like me and would do things to get me into trouble. He was just a kid, like I was, but one day he scratched his dad’s car and blamed it on me. And I’d taken the blame for months for various things, and that day I just...lost it.’ She bit her lip, a shadow crossing her face. ‘They didn’t believe that it was their son, they just thought I was badly behaved and acting out, and so when I had a temper tantrum, that was the last straw. They decided that it would be best if they didn’t adopt me after all.’
Orion was aware then of the strangest sensation in his chest. There was pain in her face and it was almost as if he could feel it too. Pain for her and what she’d experienced. Pain at the unfairness of it. Not to mention a violent anger at the carelessness of some people, who thought a child was a piece of furniture they could get rid of when it didn’t fit their house.
He stopped on the ice and gently pulled her in close, his hands on her hips, holding her steady. ‘And then what happened?’
She didn’t pull away, only looked up at him. ‘Then David adopted me. He liked my school marks and the reports from the people who ran the home. His late wife wanted him to adopt a girl and he needed an heir so he killed two birds with one stone.’
But this hurt her too and he could see that pain glittering in her eyes and he could feel it in his chest. He gripped her tighter. ‘But that didn’t work out either, did it?’
She took a small breath then glanced away. ‘It wasn’t...what I thought it was going to be.’
Orion put out a mittened hand to her jaw and gently urged her back to face him. ‘Why not?’ he asked, wanting to understand why this hurt her and perhaps why it also hurt him.
She sighed. ‘I thought—hoped—that he might be a father to me. I thought he wanted a daughter, but...he didn’t. He only wanted an heir, and he’s been...disappointed in my performance.’ She paused and then went on, ‘He’s been disappointed in his choice.’
A bright, fierce and protective anger turned over in Orion’s gut. How dare David do that to her? How dare he find something as rare and precious as she was, and find it wanting?
He didn’t question the intensity of the feeling, he only wanted to do something about the hurt in her eyes. ‘David is a fool,’ he said roughly. ‘And if he regrets adopting you then he’s even more of a fool than I thought he was.’
Isla’s blue eyes turned dark. ‘He’s got reason, Orion. I thought he was going to be my father, but after he brought me home, it was clear that he didn’t think he was. I knew that it was my school marks he wanted, my potential as a future CEO, nothing else. He didn’t actually want...me.’
The last word sounded as if she’d forced it out, and abruptly Orion was aware that he hated the thought of her thinking she was the problem. ‘I stand corrected,’ he growled. ‘He is more of a fool than I thought he was.’
‘It is me,’ Isla said. ‘I have a temper and I’m too volatile and I—’
‘You’re passionate,’ Orion interrupted, not wanting to hear another word from her about all her shortcomings. Because they weren’t shortcomings. None of them were. ‘That’s not a crime. You’re smart, yes, but you’re also interested, and you want to learn. You want to understand. In the boardroom all you need is more practice and better guidance. A mentor who will bolster your strengths not focus on your weaknesses.’
She stared at him and he was conscious that he was sounding far too vehement. But he didn’t take any of it back. ‘You really think so?’ she asked, her voice husky. ‘You really think there’s hope for me?’
He couldn’t stop himself then. He knew it was a bad idea, but he didn’t want her hurt. He didn’t want her believing she was somehow less because one man couldn’t see the treasure that he’d found. He cupped her face in his hands, stared down into her eyes and let her see the belief in his. ‘For months I’ve wondered what it is about you that has so fascinated me. Months, Isla. Ever since that night in the gallery. And I studied you, watched you, unable to think of anything but you. And I’ve decided it’s not one thing. There are so many things about you that are interesting. Your fascinating mind and your passion. Your self-containment even when I can see there’s a fire burning inside you. Your determination and your spine of steel. The way you matched wits with me and stood toe to toe with me, even as I was threatening your company.’ Her eyes looking up into his were as bright as stars. ‘The problem is not you. The problem was him. You wanted a father and that’s what he should have been to you. A father, not a damn employer.’
She said nothing for a long moment. Then suddenly she reached up, took his face between her hands and pulled his mouth down on hers.