(Jesus Lizard)
While writing this book, I’d occasionally post on social media, “What artists should I include?’ David Yow was unanimously the most requested, and he didn’t disappoint. He probably holds the record for “Most Naked” in the book too.
We played Salt Lake City one time, in a pretty large room that was about 1,000 capacity, and only three people showed up. It was a drunk Native American, a drunk frat boy, and some other dude. The Native American and the frat boy heckled us between songs. It was the most humiliating thing I’ve ever experienced on stage. It was the only time, over the course of thousands of Jesus Lizard shows, that I turned to the guys and said, “You want to just stop?” But we played the whole show for those three assholes.
One time we played England, and I had taken off one of my boots and put it on the mic stand. I was really broke at the time, and those were the only shoes I had. Some skinhead jumped on stage and threw my boot into the crowd. I knocked him down and started punching him in the back of the head. Remember the show Twin Peaks—the original one—where Bob comes crawling over the couch? As I was punching the skinhead, I looked up and this long-haired guy that looked just like Bob came crawling over the barricade. It looked like it was in slow motion, and it was the skinhead’s buddy coming at me. I thought I was doomed. Right before he got to me, our roadie came out of the blue and laid the guy out. It was fucking incredible. I broke my hand from punching the back of the guy’s head. Fortunately, I got my boot back.
Our audience was extremely varied. I don’t think we attracted much of a hardcore audience because we were too arty and weird for them. Drugs weren’t really our thing, but alcohol? Uh…yeah! We would drink all day long, every day. We’d finish a case, then get another. At our shows, alcohol was a pretty important member of the band. There were a few times when I would overdo it and be embarrassed, which led to a talking-to from the band. There was a show in Arizona where the reviewer wrote, “David Yow now owes me twenty dollars.” There’s a live video of us playing “Glamorous” at CBGB, which was night fifteen of fifteen nights in a row. You can see we’re all exhausted but also completely wired on speed. You can see me grinding my teeth in the video. None of us were ever junkies or shit like that. At our reunion shows, the rule was no bourbon before showtime.
I don’t know what the percentage is exactly, but I’d say I was naked on stage 20 percent of the time. I saw the Cramps back in 1979, and Lux had fallen into the audience. As he was climbing back onstage, somebody yanked his pants down. He finished the set with this pants around his ankles, and I thought, “That’s so cool!” I was pretty tight with the Butthole Surfers, and a lot of times, Gibby would end up in only boxer shorts, and those would sometimes come off. On the only West Coast tour Scratch Acid ever did, we played Seattle, and it was crazy sold out. For some reason, Seattle really gave a shit about Scratch Acid. During the first song, a guy pantsed me. I decided to be cool about it and finish the song. I noticed there were a group of girls elbowing each other, giggling and pointing at my dick. It was so small, like just the head without the dick. I talked to my bass player after, and he said, “Don’t worry. Girls know dicks are like accordions.”
That was the first time I was naked, so it technically started with Scratch Acid. I honestly don’t know why I decided to do that with the Jesus Lizard. Many times it wasn’t my fault and a situation where the crowd undressed me. Most of the time it was me thinking, “Well, I don’t need these clothes anymore!” I obviously have some exhibitionist tendencies, but if I was being psychoanalyzed, I don’t know how I would explain it. We played the Roxy in Los Angeles, and after I got naked, this girl in the front row kept feeling my dick while we were playing. I put my hand down her pants and started fingering her. Because she was so close to the stage, I don’t think anyone could see what was happening. She just stared at me the whole time. She wasn’t smiling, and that’s as close as I ever got to sex onstage. That one was pretty intense and sleazy.
I got arrested in Cincinnati once for public nudity. I had dropped my pants at a show, and a friend came over and said, “The D.A. is in the audience, and they said that if you do it again, you’re gonna get arrested.” I didn’t do it again, but after the show, two cops came backstage and put me in handcuffs anyway. They took me downtown. These cops were such fucking assholes. They kept saying, “Oh man, this is great! We haven’t had a rock star in here since Ted Nugent!” I get offended if somebody calls me a rock star. They made me take off my earrings and wedding ring. I yelled at them, “What? Am I gonna tunnel out of here with my fucking wedding ring?”
I was detained for a couple hours and ended up with a fine. A couple of the cops asked for my autograph, and I wrote, “Fuck you, David Yow.” I went back to the venue, and Sonic Youth was finishing up. I was backstage talking to our manager about the situation, and Courtney Love plopped herself down on a table. She mumbled, “Aww man, I don’t know what the problem is! I showed my cooch, and they didn’t fucking arrest me, man!” I had to show up in court a few months later in Hamilton County. Everybody who went before me was charged with domestic violence. It was all these wife-beating motherfuckers, and when they called me up and read, “David Yow, for recklessly and willingly exposing his private parts,” everybody looked at me like I was Satan. It’s OK to beat your wife, but don’t show your dick! They fined me 400 bucks, and I couldn’t go to Hamilton County for a year. Big fucking bummer, right? Nobody likes Cincinnati anyway.
I’ve never wished we were more popular or that we had broken through to the mainstream. I’m completely happy with what we did. I have famous friends who can’t even go to the grocery store without being recognized. I’d be OK with being rich, but I think fame is a curse. The reunion shows were a lot of fun, and people said we were better now than the old days. Money was never the reason that we made music. I was worried that, in some way, we did the reunion shows for the money. I thought people were placating me by saying, “If nothing else, you’re making a lot of people happy.” And that’s true. To look out and see those smiling faces—it’s really cool.